sylus understands your hesitancy to make yourself vulnerable, but he also can't stand to see you unfulfilled. the first couple times he catches you staring at his lips, he offers nothing but lazy blinks and slow smirks, challenging you to come to him first. but when you look away in uncertainty one too many times, seemingly content to watch your own desires slip away as long as it saves you from embarrassment, he saunters toward you, maintaining eye contact all the way. placing one hand on your hip and the other on your chin, he bends to capture your lips with his, making you stumble with his intensity. his grip on you only tightens when he breaks the kiss, and before you can ask what he’s doing, he tugs you toward his lips. when you lose your balance and fall into his embrace, you realize his game: he’s making you kiss him first
zayne empathizes with your shyness and hesitancy, afraid to so much as look at you the wrong way in case he offends you. since you’re both too frozen in overthought to make the first move, you don’t become intimate as quickly as most couples, trading physical closeness for emotional understanding. when he walks you to your door after a visit to the bakery, he leaves you with a warm goodnight hug, and you both assume the other is satisfied. only when you think he’s asleep on the sofa one evening and press a fond kiss to his cheek does he realize you share his private desires. the next day, after stoically psyching himself up for 20 minutes, he finds you in the kitchen and kisses you deeply, a pink tinge on his cheeks when he pulls away
caleb wants you to kiss him first—or at least ask him to kiss you—but what if you won’t? he needs to know that you want him—that you’ll willingly give him the privilege of kissing you—so he gives you a few pushes in the right direction. he teases you with heated glances and not-so-accidental touches until you walk up to him, dumb with desire. when you stare up at him helplessly, he settles a large hand on your waist and hovers over your mouth, giving you the chance to push him away. when you don’t, he leans in slowly, tantalizingly, as if wanting to drive home the fact that you’re letting this happen to you—letting him claim your mouth in a slow, consuming kiss. this way, maybe, just maybe, you’ll find the courage to take what you want from him next time—if you let him taste you, there’s no need to be shy anymore, right?
you know rafayel, so you know he would be upset if you expected him to initiate everything—would it kill you to show a little interest in him? that said, you also know that initiating things isn’t really your thing. so, you find a trick that works like a charm: you goad him into kissing you. you’re comfortable enough with kisses to other places—anywhere but the lips—so you adorn his cheeks and neck with soft, chaste kisses until he’s riled up and flushed, his breath coming out in soft pants from the pleasure of feeling wanted. when you pull away, he chases your touch, and all it takes is an innocent giggle from you before he’s pinning you down and stealing your breath away, his tongue tangling with yours in passion and power.
xavier is confused and a bit discouraged when he realizes you never initiate—he thinks you just don’t want to kiss him. one afternoon, you find him sulking in bed, huddled under his comforter with the lights off. worried he’s sick or hurt, you ask what’s wrong, and he gives you 4 pouty non-answers before finally giving in. you can feel your face heat and gut tangle in guilt when he questions if you ever want to kiss him, and with one hand stroking his hair, you confess that you’re simply too shy to kiss him first. he responds with a blink and a whispered “so you do like me, then?”, and when you nod, he tackles you at the speed of light, pressing kisses all over your face before finally claiming your lips
a/n: anon who asked me if i’d ever write for zayne and i hinted at later this week this is not what i was talking about don’t worry, just an impromptu writing exercise to convince myself i’m not washed. also while this technically counts for xavier and raf i’m the least familiar with their cards so idk if/when i can write anything much longer than this for them (love them tho)
hey🥰!! Humbly requesting (if possible) what the Lads guys do when you kiss them and then run away ig? to tease them.
And happy December 1st✨️🤍
When you kiss him and run away
𝜗℘ feat. rafayel, xavier, zayne, sylus, caleb.
A/N: Happy December everyone!! I know I’m late but exams are chewing me alive ( ◜‿◝ )♡
— 𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋
The kiss is quick, a soft brush of warmth against his lips and you’re gone before his breath even leaves him.
Rafayel freezes.
You watch his face change in seconds: surprise, wounded pride, disbelief… and finally, a quiet ache he tries to hide.
Slowly, he stands from his seat, fingers still stained with color from whatever painting he abandoned the moment you touched him.
You hear a dramatic sigh echo across the room.
“Oh,” he says, voice wounded enough to be framed in a museum. “So this is your new hobby? Kissing me and fleeing before the colors settle?”
He walks toward you not with the speed of someone chasing, but with the deliberate elegance of someone approaching a canvas that offended him personally.
“Cutie,” he calls, the word slicing through the silence, “you’ve left me with more questions than brushstrokes.”
You’re cornered by the time he reaches you, not trapped, just enveloped in his presence, in the intensity that follows him like spilled ink.
Rafayel leans in, fingers lifting your chin, eyes simmering with something softer than his pride wants to admit.
“You kiss me like that,” he whispers, “and then run?” A breath, warm and trembling. “That’s cruel, cutie.”
He presses his forehead to yours. You can feel his small smile, pained, fond.
“Next time… don’t run from what you started. Stay, and let me do the rest.”
He hooks a finger under your chin and pulls you in with theatrical precision, kissing you with dramatic, intoxicating depth. His arm slips around your waist, holding you close like you’re the center of his world. When he finally breaks the kiss, his lips brush yours as he murmurs, “Kiss me like that again… and don’t you dare run.”
— 𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑
Your kiss lands against his cheek soft, fleeting and then you disappear like a startled spark.
Xavier blinks. Once.
His lips curl into a small, warm smile you almost never see the kind that settles into your bones.
He doesn’t chase you.
He simply stands, brushing off imaginary dust from his sleeve, and starts walking toward where you fled. Each step is measured, quiet, and unhurried. He looks like someone following the wind, not a person.
You hide behind a column, your heartbeat loud enough to echo.
He stops a respectful distance away.
“…Are you hiding?” he asks softly.
Not teasing, not mocking, genuinely gentle. His voice is dusk settling over the world.
“You don’t need to.”
You slowly peek from behind the column and meet his eyes steady, reliable, and warm. He doesn’t move. He lets you come to him.
And you do.
He lifts a hand, brushing a knuckle along your cheek with barely-there pressure.
“You startled yourself more than me,” he murmurs.
There’s something in his gaze, a quiet understanding that makes your chest warm.
“If you need me,” he says gently, “I’ll always come at your pace.”
He cups your face with both hands, drawing you in with a soft, trembling breath. His kiss starts gentle, almost shy, then slowly deepens with warmth, he’s too quiet to speak aloud. When he finally pulls back, cheeks flushed, he whispers, “Even if you run… I’ll always find you.”
— 𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄
Your lips touch his for the shortest moment barely a kiss and then you vanish.
Zayne doesn’t tense, doesn’t jump, doesn’t even blink too fast.
He just straightens his posture, exhales, and mutters something that might be a quiet laugh.
Then he starts walking.
Not chasing. Following. His steps are steady, calm, almost silent the way he moves during missions, controlled and grounded.
You turn a corner, thinking you’ve gained distance.
You haven’t.
He’s already waiting there.
One shoulder leaned casually against the wall, arms folded, gaze steady like he predicted your escape route from the moment you sprinted.
“You ran fast,” he admits softly, “but not far.”
He steps toward you calm, composed, unhurried every movement precise and purposeful.
“You don’t have to run from me.” His hand rises, fingers brushing your jaw gently. “Or run to get my attention.”
Zayne tilts your chin just enough to meet his eyes.
“If you want a kiss… ask. I’ll always answer.”
He steps closer, his hand lifting to your jaw with that steady calm only he carries. He leans in without hurry, kissing you slow and deep, the kind of kiss that feels like warmth settling into your bones. When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours as he breathes, “If you want me… you never have to run.”
— 𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒
You kiss him quick, bold, mischievous and dart away.
Sylus freezes for half a second. Then a grin unfurls across his face, sharp and beautiful.
“Oh?” he hums, voice curling low. “You’re really going to try that on me?”
He doesn’t run, and doesn't even walk fast.
He simply appears wherever you aren’t expecting him.
You duck around a corner he’s already there, leaning against the wall, smirk shimmering.
You hide behind a door, his shadow slides across the floor a moment later.
You sprint down the hall he keeps pace effortlessly, voice lilting behind you:
“You’re predictable, sweetheart. I can read your steps like code.”
You whirl around, breathless and he’s practically nose-to-nose with you.
“How cute,” he murmurs, brushing a hair strand behind your ear. “You thought running would get rid of me?”
He cages you in with one arm above your head, smirk deepening.
“Next time you kiss me… don’t run. I want to kiss you back properly.”
He catches your waist and tugs you flush against him, lips brushing yours in a teasing whisper before he actually kisses you. The kiss is playful at first, then deepens with heat and a smile he tries to hide. He pulls back just enough to murmur, “Next time, sweetheart… I’ll be the one you chase.”
— 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐁
Your kiss is gentle, affectionate, warm and then you bolt.
Caleb stops existing for a moment.
His hands go slack. His breath catches. His ears flush crimson.
Then something in his eyes sharpens soft possessiveness igniting like a spark catching dry leaves.
“Hey–! You can’t just run away!”
He chases you with his whole heart.
He nearly trips over his own feet catching up to you, breath uneven, eyes wide and shining with emotion he can’t quite hide.
When he grabs your wrist, his hold is gentle but unyielding like he’s terrified you’ll slip away if he lets go.
“You surprised me,” he says, voice trembling. Then, quieter, rawer: “I didn’t like when you ran.”
He steps closer, forehead nearly touching yours. His voice drops to a whisper, thick with something vulnerable and fiercely devoted.
“If you kiss me don’t run. Stay. I want you close.”
He pulls you in by the hips with a firm, possessive grip, kissing you hard enough to steal every breath you have left. His fingers slide into your hair, holding you there like he has no plans of letting go. When he finally breaks the kiss, voice low and rough, he murmurs, “Run again… and I’m carrying you back.”
SYNOPSIS: rafayel compliments you and has a nickname for you and holds your hand and openly flirts with you... which could mean nothing
tags/warnings: rafayel x fem!reader, fluff, reader is both oblivious and refuses to accept love, lowkey yandere/stalker/manipulative!rafayel if you squint, reader thinks she's undeserving of love, happy ending, I think that's it!
wc: 6.6k
a/n: hi hi!! I finally got around to working on a raf drabble that turned into This,, I hope u guys enjoy !! I liked playing around w the dynamic between reader and rafayel hehe I hope it comes across !!! thank u to my gorgeous wife tee and my beloved brother in arms emmy for proofreading !! PLEASE let me know what u guys think !! reading ur comments and tags genuinely keeps me going hehe,, okay enough yapping, I hope u enjoy :3
masterlist
It was the first exhibition you were working security for him. You hovered around him the entire night, smiling when he’d shoot you pleading glances. You shook your head at him and continued to scan the room. It was a nice event, you’d have to remember to compliment Thomas's work the next time you saw him. Everything went smoothly, and Rafayel was surprisingly cooperative the entire night.
You bit back a smile when you watched Rafayel's eyes sparkle underneath the spotlights, explaining his pieces to every sponsor and guest as he made his way around the room. The thumping of your heart made your face flush as you watched him smile and gesture wildly towards the canvas, mimicking the brushstrokes he’d used to capture the raging sea. He stole a glance back at you, smirking a little when he caught you staring. You tore your gaze from him, blinking quickly and regaining composure as you stood a little straighter.
When the night came to a close you waited for a moment off to the side, laughing to yourself as Thomas all but shoved Rafayel to shake hands with the VIPs. After he finally finished, he made his way in front of the largest canvas in tonight's showing. You pushed yourself off the wall you'd been leaning against, standing next to him and looking at the painting alongside him. You clasped your hands behind your back, rocking slightly on your heels, glancing at him from the corner of your eyes.
“Did you know I started this piece a year ago?” His words echo slightly in the now empty room. The lights pointing straight at the painting cast beautiful shadows across his face. You only hum in response, reading the title card next to the painting.
The Sea’s Love.
“Good thing it sold for the highest then,” you joke lightly, still focusing on the painting ahead of you. Rafayel turns his head slightly, gaze focusing on you.
“When I first started painting it, I was fueled by anger and frustrations,” he states, voice neutral as he continues to watch you. “I was so angry, I felt like I would never be able to feel truly happy, like I’d never trust enough to be able to love again.” Rafayel pauses for a second, eyes shifting back to the painting you were so engrossed in. “I abandoned it after three days of working on it.”
Your brows furrowed slightly, focus finally tearing from the art to the artist beside you.
“You said you finished this in six days though,” there’s genuine confusion on your face as you continue, “and you said you were inspired by feelings of hope and love, not anger.”
Rafayel hummed, a soft smile playing on his lips as he leaned closer to you. “I did. Somewhere along the way I realized I could love again, but it doesn't mean those negative feelings just vanished overnight.”
“So your anger and fears, they still live alongside the way you love and devote yourself to whoever your beloved may be.” It was less of a question and more of an observation. You cocked your head at an angle, eyes tracing every brushstroke.
“Exactly Miss Bodyguard. Love is like the sea, filled with beauty and serenity, but also storms and chaos. That's what love truly is, messy and heartbreakingly wonderful."
It was nice to talk to Rafayel when he was in his element and not making your job next to impossible. You smiled at the explanation, nodding your head and turning to look at him, his eyes met yours.
“That’s nice, I like that.”
“I picked it up again a month ago. I found new inspiration, one that invoked the more ‘positive’ influence of the painting.” He’s quiet for a moment, eyes lingering on you enough to make your face flush, “right after I met you, actually.” His eyes never left yours, and the last couple words make heat rise quickly to your cheeks. The room felt too hot all of a sudden, and you were quick to break eye contact first.
“I think they’re about to shut the lights off, let’s get you home before Thomas tries to pitch you a commission for a sponsor,” you smile, turning on your heel and taking a deep breath. So he picked up his painting about love and the complexity of it after he met you? So what? It doesn’t mean anything, just a coincidence, a one off chance that will probably never occur again.
Rafayel smiles behind you, watching as you wipe your hands nervously on your pants. You were flustered, cute. He takes one last glance at the painting, focusing on the middle right, where he’d hidden your initials among brushstrokes.
It was hard for you to say no to people. Even harder when ‘people’ was Rafayel staring at you with wide pleading eyes, and you were saying ‘no’ to an all-expenses-paid trip to Italy to visit his aunt for the weekend.
“Miss Bodyguard, what if EVER gets me on the flight there? Or my stalkers figure out where I’m staying and kidnap me? I’ll be defenseless and all alone and you’d be none the wiser!” Rafayel gives you his best pout, and damn it was good.
“Rafayel, I promised my friends I’d go to dinner with them already,” you sighed, guilt creeping in your chest as your mind ran wild with possibilities. What if something bad did happen to him? What if he really did need you there?
“Fine, when you see on Linkon City News that world-famous artist Rafayel Qi was found dead on the Italian coast, you better not cry.” He huffs softly before getting up from his spot on the couch, heading to his back porch as the sun begins to set.
You frowned at his words, quickly following him outside. “If you’re worried about security you could always hire someone else! I’m sure anyone would-”
“I don’t want anyone, I want you.” For a moment a flicker of something flashes in his eyes, it leaves before you can place it. Your stomach flips at his words, and you have to remind yourself he doesn’t mean those words in the way you secretly hoped he did. This was a professional relationship. As professional as a pouting diva artist and overworked hunter-turned-security detail can be, at least.
Rafayel leans on the railing that heads to the beach, chin propped in the palm of his hand as he scowls. He knew you’d feel guilty if he sulked for long enough, and sulk he did. “I’m sure my dumb seagulls will miss me when I’m dead in three days time, we never finished our final choir act y’know.”
You rolled your eyes, pulling your phone out and sending a profuse apology to your group chat. You can’t make brunch Saturday, the job you took as a side quest is requiring you to travel for an event this weekend.
“Watcha writing? You should look up caskets near us, help me choose one since I’ll be dead in-” you cut him off by flicking his forehead. “Ow! What was that for? You’re supposed to protect me!”
“You are so dramatic you know that?” Rafayel can’t help but smile, knowing he had you right where he wanted you. “Stop smiling, you ruined my weekend plans,” you furrowed your brows at him, looking out into the ocean as the sun slowly sunk deeper into its depths. The oranges and pinks never failed to take your breath away.
“I promise I’ll be on my best behavior Miss Bodyguard.”
You were going to kill Rafayel. You had to find him first, but then you were going to kill him. This was poor foresight in your end, you had to admit. You really should’ve put two and two together when Rafayel took you dress shopping and picked out only items that matched his suit.
“I thought you were just visiting?” You’d asked, zipping up the dress and looking in the mirror.
“Well yes, but she has this charity event she’s putting on, told me to come and support the cause,” he mumbled, eyes glued to his phone as he scrolled mindlessly on social media, he smiled when he saw your moments posts.
“What’s she donating to?” You asked as you smoothed the dress out, fixing your hair a bit and twirling to see how it fit.
“Combating human trafficking,” he replied, it wasn’t a total lie.
“Oh that’s nice.”
The sound of the curtain opening made him snap his head up. He thought his nose might start bleeding soon.
“What do you think? I feel like maybe it’s too much? I’m just security so I shouldn’t be flashy in the first place,” you slowly shrunk into yourself, Rafayel was quick on his feet.
“It’s perfect,” he breathed out, his fingers ghosting over your shoulders, itching to finally touch your skin. It took every fiber of his being to pull away, he swallowed hard before shaking his head. “You’re my security, you have to look the part, don’t want you embarrassing me with a boring outfit do you?”
You shook your head, smiling slightly as you caught your reflection in the mirror. “It is really pretty, isn’t it?” Your eyes were focused on the detail of the gown, Rafayel was focused on the details of your face.
“Very beautiful,” he agreed softly.
“Miss Y/N?” The voice pulled you out of your haze, a nervous smile on your lips as you focused back on the woman in front of you.
“My apologies, what did you say?” Your eyes shift nervously around the room, hoping to find the familiar purple haired man you’d arrived with.
“How long have you and Rafayel been together?” The question would’ve been harmless, had you actually been in a relationship with the artist. You were grateful for the amount of training the association made you do on remaining stoic under pressure.
So with a gentle smile you replied, “only about a month,” the lady cooed at you, going on about young love. The second your eyes met with Rafayel’s across the room, you quickly excused yourself. Rafayel smiled at you, then he realized your eyes were narrowed at him, his smile seemed to grow when you roughly grabbed his arm.
“Where the hell did you go?!” You hiss at him, making sure your voice wasn’t too loud.
“Miss me already cutie? I was just giving the staff my piece for the auction, doing my part or whatever,” he smiled at you, trying to hide how much he loved how angry you looked.
“Okay first of all do not call me that,” Rafayel pouts at your words. “Second of all I’m here as your security, to secure you, make sure you’re secure. How do you suppose I do that when you run off behind my back?” You smack him lightly with your purse, hitting him harder when he lets out a string of ‘ow's that cause guests to turn and look at the two of you. Both of you give them convincing enough smiles to turn away.
“Third of all, why did some random lady ask me how long we’ve been together?”
Rafayel’s cheeks turn a hue of pink as you ask your third question, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips as he looks at you with the softest eyes you’d ever seen. No, stay strong.
“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry for running off. I just had to give them the canvas I donated or else Aunt Talia would have me gutted. I promise I won’t do it again cu- Miss Bodyguard,” he begrudgingly corrects himself, you thank him under your breath. “As for the last question, hypothetically, how angry would you be if I told my Aunt that you were my girlfriend and everyone accidentally found out? Hypothetically.”
It wasn’t an accident, he’d asked Talia to put you down as his plus one, and next to your name on the guest list were the words ‘Rafayel’s muse.’
“Hypothetically you don’t pay me enough to fake date you,” you bite back, hoping he can’t see the flush on your cheeks or hear how fast your heart is beating. “Hypothetically,” you sigh out, pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes for a moment before looking at Rafayel, “if you have a good enough reason for it then I won’t quit.”
“Well, if everyone knew you were my bodyguard they’d know to target you, and then without you I’d be a defenseless fish out of water.” You hate how quickly he replies, and you hate how much of a point he has. You can only grumble, muttering something about a raise before taking a flute of champagne, chugging it down, and slipping your arm into Rafayel’s.
He pulls you closer to his side. You steal a glance at someone’s program, seeing that underneath the piece Rafayel had donated was your name, and next to it were the words ‘to my one and only muse.’ It must all be part of the ruse, the way he complimented you and stole glances at you throughout the night was just to sell the act.
And when he takes the heels off your feet and carries you from the cab to your hotel room, you take it as him just being nice. The way his eyes linger on you for a second too long when you say goodnight at the door probably means nothing.
You stare up at the hotel ceiling, repeating it to yourself until you can convince yourself of it.
It means nothing. There’s nothing there.
You wish the butterflies in your stomach and the thumping against your rib cage got the memo.
Rafayel takes you into the city the next day, buying souvenirs for the two of you. His hand brushes against yours more times than you can count, you hope he doesn’t notice the way your breath catches in your throat. (he does).
When the two of you arrive in Linkon again you turn to say goodbye to Rafayel, finding him already looking at you.
“I really enjoyed being with you this weekend,” his words catch you off guard, mouth slightly agape as you scramble to find the meaning behind his words. There’s no way he means fake dating you, that would never happen. You smile at him and nod in agreement.
“So did I, I’ll see you around,” you reply, not thinking too much of it, you can’t let yourself. Before you can turn to hail a cab, his hand envelopes your wrist, his mouth opens slightly, like he’s going to say something.
“What is it?” You ask, scanning his face for a moment and ensuring nothing was wrong. He’s quiet for a moment, still holding you in place.
How does he stop you from leaving? How does he keep you with him for as long as possible?
“Let me give you a ride home, airport cabs are way too expensive,” he finally says, his voice as relaxed as it always was. You want to punch yourself for thinking he would say anything else.
“It’s okay Rafayel, if you’re that worried about my finances just give me a raise,” you tease, waving goodbye and easily slipping out of his grasp. You feel your chest tighten as you close the door behind you, letting out a small sigh. Fake dating for a weekend didn’t mean anything, him falling asleep on your shoulder during the plane ride was nothing.
There’s nothing there, you remind yourself. You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the clouds, as much as you wished there was, there wasn’t.
You needed to go out on a date. It was starting to get ridiculous. So you did what any sensible person does: bought bottles of wine and invited your friends over to curate your dating profile. Hours later through flushed cheeks and barely contained giggles, it was done. Now all that was left for you to do was swipe on whoever you liked and hope you’d match.
It didn’t take long for you to realize that half the people on there only really wanted one night stands and nothing serious. With most of them starting off with terrible pick up lines and the rest jumping straight to “dtf?” You were seriously giving up hope, until finally you came across someone who actually struck up a conversation.
Two weeks later you found yourself fidgeting with your outfit, changing for the third time and fixing your hair one more time. You jumped as your phone buzzed on your bathroom counter top.
[incoming video call from Rafayel]
You answered on the second ring, phone still on the counter with only the top half of your head showing as you fixed your mascara.
“Hey Miss Bodyguard wanna come over? I need your opinion on this art piece I’m working on,” he pans the camera over to a colorful canvas before re-centering his face, you can see his brows furrowing as he watches your actions. “What are you doing?”
“Sorry Rafayel, I can’t today I have plans already,” you blink a couple times before finally feeling satisfied, fluffing your hair and grabbing your phone. “I don't think I'm qualified to give opinions on art, but I can swing by tomorrow after work?” You watch as Rafayel’s eyes widen, his mouth opens slightly as he stares at you. “Hello?”
“Do I have an event I didn’t know about?” Rafayel questions, swallowing hard as he blinks rapidly, drinking in your appearance through his phone screen. God, you looked gorgeous.
“No, no, just going on a date is all,” you mumble, embarrassed beyond belief as your cheeks heat up.
“A date?” Rafayel feels his world stop, blood going cold.
“Yeah figured I should put myself out there y’know? It’s been a while and I’ve been- anyway whatever, good luck with your painting!” You smile brightly before hanging up. Rafayel thinks his phone might crack from how tightly he was holding it. You absolutely could not go on that date.
You needed this date, you had to get over your feelings for Rafayel. Taking a deep breath you finally exited your apartment, locking your door and heading for the cafe you’d agree to meet at.
When you arrived at the cafe you sent your date a quick message, telling him you’d be seated in a booth near the back corner. You tapped your fingers against the table, looking around the room as you checked your phone. It’s fine, people run late all the time.
Ten more minutes passed, and you figured it wouldn’t hurt to order your drink while you waited. You stood nervously in line and glanced at the door with every ring of the bell, heart sinking when it wasn’t your date. The thumping of your heart slowly subdued, and you felt silly for getting your hopes up so much.
With slumped shoulders you slid back into the booth, checking your phone one more time as you sipped on your drink. Nothing. The door opened again, the small bell on top of the door rang as your head shot up.
It wasn’t your date. You sipped your drink slowly, opening your phone and staring at the last text your date had sent you.
‘See you soon! :)’
It’d been thirty minutes already, you’d texted him with no response. Just your luck you get ghosted on your first date back on the dating scene. With a heavy heart and a bruised ego you threw your now empty cup in the trash can, stepping into the warm summer air and taking a deep breath. Maybe it was a sign.
You didn't move when you got in your car, staring blankly at your steering wheel for a moment. The sound of your phone vibrating made your heart rate pick up, quickly checking the screen.
[incoming call from Rafayel]
You take a deep breath, muttering a small prayer under your breath before answering.
“Hello?”
“You know it’s terrible etiquette to answer your phone while on a date right?,” you can hear his teasing tone, it makes your stomach churn.
“It uh- ended early,” you lie, “what’s up?”
Rafayel grins at your words, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he places an ice pack over his knuckles, walking back to the couch.
“I ordered way too much takeout, what are the odds you wanna swing by and grab some? We can put on that movie you told me about last week,” Rafayel adjusts the bouquet of flowers he got you during his side quest earlier.
You’re quiet for a moment, this was definitely not going to help squash your bubbling feelings for the artist. But you were starving, and you didn’t want to wallow in self-pity just yet, not when your hair had turned out so nicely.
“Did you finish your painting already?”
“I can work on it tomorrow,” he huffs out, “c’moooooon cutie, come over and help me finish this food, please?”
“I’ll be there in 15,” you reply, biting back your smile as you shake your head and hang up.
You unlock his front door with the key he’d given you, calling out to make sure he knew it was you entering. Within seconds he rounded the corner, a smile on his face as he greeted you, clad in a hoodie and shorts. The sight never failed to make your heartbeat race.
“You look beautiful y’know,” Rafayel says softly after the two of you finish eating. You’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, your eyes are glued to the TV stuck on a loading screen. “He’s an idiot to not have realized what a catch you are, cutie.”
You don’t have enough fight in you to protest against the pet name, you know he doesn’t mean it romantically. You're too emotionally drained to think about the fact that you never even told him how the date went
“Thanks Raf,” you say softly, had anything been playing he wouldn’t have heard it.
“I’m Raf now?” The man grins, cheeks dusted pink as he repeats the nickname. You can’t help but roll your eyes at him.
“Don’t make me take it back,” you groan as he scoots closer to you, leaning his head on your shoulder and letting a content sigh leave his lips. Maybe it was because you already felt vulnerable and Rafayel just so happened to be there for you. Maybe it was because he handed you a bouquet of flowers when you walked in the door. You don’t know why you say it, but you do.
“I should’ve known better than to think I’d find someone on a fucking dating app,” you scoff, laughing slightly as your gaze settles in your lap. Rafayel sits up straighter, a sympathetic smile on his face.
“Hey,” his voice is feathery, his touch even more so as he lifts your chin for you to look at him, “dating apps are stupid, I could’ve told you that for free.” He smiles, you can’t help but reciprocate it.
“You’re amazing, you know that? Anyone would be lucky to have you,” his face is closer to you than you ever remember it being, “I would be lucky to have you.” There’s no playful undertone in his words and no pout on his lips as he stares at you. His eyes flicker down to your lips for a fraction of a second.
“Rafayel,” you breathe out, eyelashes fluttering as everything becomes too much. What was happening? Could this mean-
The sound of the movie abruptly starting makes you jump, the sudden realization of how close you were has you clearing your throat, scooting away from the man you so desperately wish to be closer with.
He almost kissed you. You almost kissed him. He was there for you after a terrible date, with flowers and your favorite food. Which could mean nothing, and for the sake of your already aching heart, you tell yourself it does mean nothing. Because it was Rafayel and you were just, well, you.
It was hard to quell your feelings after that night. It was harder for you to ignore how pretty Rafayel was, how charming his smile was and how well you and him got along. It was damn near impossible to ignore just how much you liked him.
You tried to brush off his offhand comments, immediately deflecting and not allowing yourself the pleasure of entertaining the idea. This was Rafayel. The most handsome man you’d ever seen in your life, he was funny and kind and caring and he did not have a thing for you.
“Hey cutie, what do you say we grab a bite after this?” He winks at you during an exhibition, you want to kill the butterflies in your stomach.
“I can’t, sorry Rafayel,” you say simply, giving him a small smile and hoping he’d drop it. He doesn’t, of course he doesn’t.
“C'mon! We can go to the place you’ve been wanting to try! I saw your moments post about it,” he narrows his eyes at you, crossing his arms and leaning forward.
You take a small step back. Rafayel wants to grab you by your waist, he digs his fingers into the fabric of his shirt to stop himself.
“I already have some food I have to finish up, maybe next time?” You smile nervously, palms already sweaty from how intently he was looking at you. His purple bangs falling gently across his forehead, you fight the urge to brush them out of his eyes.
Rafayel only spoke to you again when parting ways after the exhibition, turning around and causing you to almost bump into his chest.
“Y’know I’m here for you, right? Whenever you want for whatever you need,” the words catch you by surprise, making your heart thump louder in your ears as you smile at him.
“O-okay thanks,” you reply, moving to walk past him, he grabs your wrist, staring at you like he was going to say more. He opens his mouth before closing it again, shoulders slumping and letting out a small sigh. He lets go of your wrist, savoring the way the warmth of your skin felt on his. “Let me know when you get home, Miss Bodyguard,” he smiles softly.
“Okay,” you breathe out, eyes lingering on his lips for a second too long. You turn on your heel quickly, the mantra you’d always repeat to yourself when it came to Rafayel already looping in your mind.
It probably means nothing. The look in his eyes wasn’t anything, it couldn’t be. Your heart tugs the further away from him you get, God, you wish it did.
You decided you were going to be brave. After almost a year of debate, you were going to take a leap of faith.
With shaky fingers you hover over the dial button, taking a deep breath before tapping your screen and putting the phone to your ear. It only rings once before you hear the same voice that always makes your stomach flip.
“Well to what do I owe the honor of you calling me first, Miss Bodyguard?” Rafayel smirks on the other line, leaning back in his seat as he puts the phone on speaker, mindlessly twirling a paintbrush between his fingers.
“I need to ask you something, and I want you to promise that you won’t judge me or laugh at me or- are you already giggling?” You furrow your brows, nerves slowly replaced by that familiar feeling of enamored frustration only Rafayel managed to bring out.
“You can’t tell someone to not laugh at something, everyone knows that just makes them want to laugh,” he states, “but fiiine, I won’t laugh.”
“Do piercings hurt a lot? I know you have a bunch and I’ve been wanting to get one forever and I’ve been so scared but I really want one.” You rush your words out, pacing around your living room before staring out your window and flopping backwards on your couch.
“You thought I would laugh because you’re… scared to get a piercing?” Rafayel cocks his head slightly, pausing his movements as he sets his brush down, grabbing his phone and smiling softly. He can picture you already, your face is probably warm, nose scrunched and lips pouting as you look to your side in embarrassment, shrugging your shoulders.
“Well, yeah,” you mutter, nose scrunched and face hot as you stare away from your phone, as if he could see you through the camera.
“What kind of piercing do you wanna get? The pain depends on the placement but also everyone’s pain tolerance is different.” He hears you hum on the other end of the line.
“I wanted to get my nose pierced, is that lame?” Your face is hot, embarrassed to be so scared of something so many people did.
“You’re gonna look great with it! It shouldn’t hurt too much, when are you gonna get it?” Rafayel has to take deep breaths as his imagination runs wild. The thought of you with your nose pierced, he closes his eyes for a moment, willing himself to calm down as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
“I don’t know, I was kinda thinking of getting it soon, rip the band aid off,” you smile, sitting up from your position on the couch and checking the time. “Are you busy right now?”
“I’m never busy when it comes to you,” Rafayel replies easily, wiping his paint stained hands on a nearby rag before standing up.
“Do you think you could come with me? To get the piercing?” You’re covering half your face with one hand out of embarrassment. You’re fully prepared for him to laugh at you, say ‘hell no!’ and hang up on you. Okay, that might be a little extreme.
“I’m already on my way, cutie,” he replies, you can hear the jingling of his keys before you let out a small, ‘okay’ and hang up. You stare at the floor for a moment, then a wide smile breaks onto your face. You break out into maniacal giggles, burying your face in your hands before biting your bottom lip.
Rafayel knocks on your door in 15 minutes time, hair falling perfectly and cologne wafting into your senses the moment you open the door. You look up at him with a shy smile, having never noticed just how built the man was. He crowds your space as he leans against the door frame, smiling and holding his hand out for you to take.
“Are you ready?” He asks, you nod, hesitantly putting your hand in his. You ignore the way your whole body reacts to the simple touch. You’re too in your head to notice the way his face goes red as his hand envelopes yours.
Rafayel was enjoying this way too much for your liking, but you were too nervous to make any remarks as he walked into the piercing shop with your clammy hand in his.
“Hey what can I help you guys with today?” The man asked, looking between the two of you, “matching tattoos maybe?” He grins, you can’t help but let out a nervous chuckle.
“Maybe next week, right cutie?” He chuckles when your eyes go wide and you elbow him.
“I wanted to get a nose piercing,” you tell the man, and two consent forms later you’re seated in the piercing chair, fidgeting with your t-shirt nervously as you talk to Rafayel.
“It’ll look good right? I won’t look stupid with it?” Rafayel smiles at you and nods.
“You’re gonna look stunning, Miss Bodyguard,” he mumbles, walking from his position across the room to your side. “Who knows, you might even inspire me to paint more pieces about you.”
You smile at him, then the words process in your mind. “What do you mean ‘more’?”
“Alright! I’m gonna go ahead and mark where the piercing will go and let me know if you like the placement!” The piercer walks in, saving Rafayel from having to answer your question. Reluctantly you tear your gaze from him, smiling at the piercer and sitting still as she marks your nose and hands you a mirror to check. You nod in approval, handing the mirror back as she preps the area.
Rafayel is staring at you intently, your heart is racing, fear coursing through your veins as the piercer turns to grab the needle.
“Can you hold my hand?” You ask quietly, Rafayel all but jumps at the opportunity, intertwining your fingers with his, like he was always meant to be by your side.
“Alright, you ready?” She asks and you nod, eyes focused on Rafayel’s pretty blue-pink ones. “Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth for me.” You do as you're told, feeling slightly embarrassed by how sweaty your palm is against Rafayel’s.
“Deep breath,” he says softly, eyes glancing between your gaze and the needle, squeezing your hand as she punctures the cartilage. “Good girl,” Rafayel praises, thumb stroking the back of your hand in soothing circles as your eyes water slightly. You blink rapidly, a stray tear slipping out as they insert the small stud in place of the needle.
“Alright you’re all done!” The piercer smiles at you, letting you know to head up front to pay. You thank her quickly, turning to Rafayel who still had a tight grip on your hand.
“How do I look?” You smile at him. Rafayel doesn’t say anything for a second, eyes scanning your features as his thumb swipes the stray tear from your cheek.
“Beautiful,” he whispers, squeezing your hand before helping you out of the chair. He’s quick to beat you to the register, immediately handing the receptionist his card before you have the chance to protest.
You’re too flustered by his compliment to fight back, opting instead to simply thank him as he places his card back in his wallet. Rafayel doesn’t say anything, his hand slotting back into yours. Both of your faces are burning hot, with neither of you addressing it until your hand leaves his as he holds the car door open for you.
“That wasn’t as terrible as I thought it was gonna be!” You gush as Rafayel slips into the driver's seat. He watches from the corner of his eye the way you stare at your reflection in the sun visor mirror.
“You did a great job! My brave girl,” he says smoothly, left hand on the steering wheel and the other coming to squeeze your arm gently. Your body is on fire at the small contact, and you’re having a hard time rationalizing this into nothing.
He holds your hand during your piercing, tells you he’s painted pieces inspired by you, that could mean nothing. But now he’s calling you his girl? Your mind is scrambling and you can only land on one conclusion.
“Rafayel?”
“Cutie?” He purrs back, he can all but see everything in your head clicking into place, his heart thumping against his chest as your gaze bores into your lap.
“Do you like me?” You check to see if the passenger door is unlocked, in case he laughs in your face and you have to jump out of this moving vehicle. You think about the logistics of it, you’d most likely survive, mainly surface injuries, you’ve fought off hordes of wanderers, you could take jumping out of a car. What you couldn’t take, is the artist you’ve been crushing on for a year calling you delusional.
“I thought that much was obvious, I’ve been flirting with you since I met you,” Rafayel lets out a deep chuckle, turning to look at you briefly. Your mouth is agape, eyes wide as you stare at him in disbelief.
“What?!” You shriek. Rafayel only laughs harder.
“Did you think I just went around complimenting everybody? Calling people cutie and my muse?” Your silence makes Rafayel’s mouth drop. “Are you serious?!” He exclaims, parking the car in front of your apartment building before turning to face you fully.
“I didn’t want to assume things! I just rationalized everything that happened,” you defended, “I just kept telling myself it meant nothing and you were just a flirty person!”
“So when I gave you a key to my house?”
“I’m your bodyguard so you gave it to me for security purposes,” you explained, and Rafayel had to hold back his laughter.
“I told you there’s no one in my life that I’d want with me other than you, and that’s the conclusion you came to?” Your face burned as you tried (and failed) to defend yourself. “Okay and the time I told you that you were the reason I started painting with lighter tones and images of hope and love instead of despair?"
“You said that you did that after you met me, not that-” saying it out loud makes it seem obvious, embarrassment coursing through your veins as you realize the mental gymnastics you’d been doing all year.
“I practically professed my love for you the night you got stood up, how did you rationalize that?” His head cocks slightly, a smug smirk on his face as he wonders what radical conclusion you’d landed on.
“That you’d never have feelings like that for someone like me,” you shrug your shoulders, not daring to meet his eyes as you finally come clean. The true reason you’d brushed his every move off, the one thing driving the mantra you’d always told yourself.
“Someone like you?” Rafayel repeats, his heart clenches at your words. He doesn’t say anything else, the restraint he had for the past year is thrown out the window as he reaches over the center console and angles your face towards him.
“Do you like me?” Rafayel asks, his breathing erratic as he stares into your eyes. You give him a small nod, about to say something else before you’re cut off with his lips on yours. You tense for a moment, body catching up before your brain does as you melt into the kiss, hands weaving in the soft purple tresses at the nape of his neck. You whimper slightly when Rafayel pulls away and nips at your bottom lip.
“Please tell me you can’t rationalize that,” he mumbles, you laugh, letting your head rest on his shoulder.
“If I try hard enough-” Rafayel takes your face in one hand, lifting it up and kissing you once more, careful to not hit your freshly pierced nose.
“I want you,” he mumbles against your lips, “you drive me crazy– you’re the only one I want– I want you all to myself, as my lover and as my everything,” he punctuates each statement between kisses, slowly turning rougher as you move in sync with him, tugging gently on his hair.
When he pulls away, the only thing connecting the two of you is a string of saliva between your lips, which Rafayel quickly wipes with his thumb, licking it clean. You bite back a moan.
“Am I clear enough now?” He smirks. You gulp, nodding.
“Do you wanna- we should probably- come on let’s head inside,” you finally sputter out, quickly opening the car door and heading to your apartment. Rafayel is hot on your heels, relief filling his body when you turn around and shoot him a shy smile as you unlock your door.
Rafayel crowds your space the rest of the day, kissing every inch of you, telling and showing you just how badly he’s been wanting you. He whispers sweet words to you as he brushes your hair out of face, his fingertips trace your sweaty skin, eyes staring at you like you were the most precious work of art ever created…. which could mean nothing.
But you know better now. It means the feelings you’d been shoving aside this whole time were reciprocated ten fold. It means he loves you, with every fiber of his being.
taglist: @hirayalia @violasepals @txtworlddom @mrs-lixiaqin @pjselee @luvyizhou ask to be added!
Since I can't stop thinking about this, I'm going to give in and ramble about it for a little bit...
Xavier should have expected this, honestly. You're just so soft and warm and comforting. It's only natural that his little boy would be just as drawn to you as he was. You're his safe space, so it's only natural that you'd be his son's safe space too.
"I think he's getting his 2-year molars in. My poor baby has swollen cheeks." You kiss his head, hair a soft blonde just like his daddy. He had fallen asleep on you after whining for nearly an hour. The pain medicine finally kicking in and letting the toddler on your lap slip into blissful sleep. "Should we take him to the doctor?"
“No, not yet at least. It’s normal for him to get puffy when he cuts new teeth.” Your fingers run through his hair softly, soothingly. His head moving with the rise and fall of your chest. Xavier sat down by your feet, careful not to move the cushions too much and disturb the baby’s much needed rest.
“Do you want me to move him to his bed?”
“He just fell asleep a few minutes ago, not yet.” You grin at your husband, noticing the small pout on his lips. Xavier had gotten much better with his jealousy once your son was born. He was more than willing to share you if it meant your son would smile. But, ever since your boy entered a “Mama or nothing.” Phase, Xavier has been struggling to get you alone.
All it took was a flash of his big eyes – the same color as his mama’s – and Xavier melted. He didn’t think it was possible to give in so easily, but his son proved him wrong every day. “Then can we move this to the bed? I wanna snuggle you too.”
And you? You’ve found it incredibly hard to deny Xavier and your darling son of anything. Your heart has become incredibly weak because of them, your sweet boy had his daddy’s pout. “Alright, fine, but you have to carry us both.”
Xavier nearly leapt off the couch.
Rafayel had been convinced that his little girl would be all about him. You know, since humans like to claim that boys are more drawn to their mama and girls are more drawn to their daddy. Well? Your little girl proved him very, very wrong.
Your sweet little princess – only a year and a half old – wanted mama and mama only.
Her first word had been mama, her first crawling attempt had been to mama, her first steps? Right into mama’s arms. She was a mama’s girl through and through. Rafayel was a tad hurt honestly, because he thought he’d be sharing himself with you. Not fighting with his baby for a chance to hug her mama.
“I mean really, who does she think she is?”
“Your daughter.” you snort, peeking over her little shoulder. She’s perched on your lap, chubby arms folded and signature glare on her little chubby cheeks. No DNA test needed, she was Rafayel’s daughter through and through.
“I really can’t give mama a kiss?” he bargains, the furrow in his brows relaxing as he stares at his little girl’s face. His eyes, her mama’s hair and nose, his smile. God she was so perfect, it made it even harder to try and put up a fight. She’d always win.
“Yuck!” her new favorite word to use against her daddy, one that you couldn’t help but laugh at because he was the one that taught it to her when trying new baby purees months back. That one word carried weight, considering she couldn’t get any of her thoughts out fully yet. Too little to string together creative insults, she’d get there though, he was sure.
“Seriously! What if I give you a kiss too?” he puckered his lips, inching closer just to see his daughter burst into giggles and push back against her mama’s chest. “Yuck!”
“Too bad!” Your laughter mingled with hers as Rafayel grabbed her little head and placed tens, if not hundreds, of kisses all over her chubby features. Not relenting until her giggles nearly went silent from how hard she was laughing. “I win!”
The soft kiss that landed on your lips was sudden enough to startle you, eyes wide as you glance down at your baby’s shocked face.
Zayne never thought he’d see the day where he was genuinely battling his four year old daughter over your attention. She was the spitting image of you, for one.
Why didn't he think she’d inherit your stubbornness? I mean, seriously, she was your identical twin. Save for the fact that she had his eye color, it looked like Zayne didn’t even partake in the creation of her.
“I just want to talk to mama for a bit, baby. Please?” He was trying not to frown, but you were leaning against the kitchen counter trying to stifle your giggles. Your daughter, however, stood her ground. Blanket in one hand and snowman plush in the other, inching ever closer to your legs. Your little velcro baby for sure.
“No! Mama said she would read me some stories in my bed.” You had promised that, had even been on your way to her room when Zayne got home. Your poor husband looked exhausted and in much need of your love.
Your daughter, however, was not backing down.
Zayne tried not to sigh, he wasn’t frustrated at her of course. The whole display was cute, he loved the fact that your daughter adored you so thoroughly. But, the need to be in your arms was something he very much craved too.
No room for little legs and arms to bat him out of your embrace or kick him in the stomach for getting too close to her beloved mama.
“How about I read you your stories and then I go help daddy. Does that sound like a good compromise?” She’d be asleep half way through the first story anyways. “No! Cause then you’ll leave me alone!” Asleep in her bed, it was nearly ten at night after all, she had school in the morning.
“You’re a big girl, my love.” Zayne crouched down, watching her lips quiver as she looked between the two of you. Dammit, his resolve was crumbling right before his very eyes. “How about mommy reads to you in mommy and daddy’s bed?”
Zayne ignored the way your eyebrow raised, but the lip quivering stopped and her glassy eyes blinked away. He could survive sharing your presence if it meant his little girl could sleep comfortably. “Oh-kay I guess that works, daddy.”
Oh yeah, she was your child alright. It didn’t take much at all for Zayne to give in.
Sylus felt bad, honestly. Who would have thought your eight month old twins – one boy and one girl – would be so thoroughly attached to their mama. I mean, he really thought the two of them would pick their person. Your daughter would gravitate towards him and your son would gravitate towards you or vice versa.
But, no. Both of your babies wanted their mama and their mama only.
“C’mon, hey!” You were lounging on the couch, your little boy sitting next to you while Sylus held your little girl out in front of him. Her little legs kicked wildly as she grinned at you. Her head turned away from her daddy to just beam at you. Your son was doing the same, lips curled in a toothless smile as big red eyes peered up at you.
“They don’t even know I exist.” Sylus sighed, but there is a grin pulling at his lips as he glances between the three of you. Two little humans, a perfect mix of you and him, who were completely and utterly infatuated with their mama. Just like their daddy.
“Yes they do, Sy. They’re just a bit milk obsessed.” You laugh, rubbing your baby boy’s cheek fondly as Sylus relents and offers your baby girl to you. “Milk or no milk, they’d be this obsessed with you, kitten. You’re their whole world.”
You’re surprised to see a small pout on his lips, your eyes shifting between your grinning little girl and your husband. “You really think so?” You wonder softly, bringing her face to yours so you can nuzzle her nose and kiss her chunk cheeks before settling her on your lap. “I don’t think, I know.”
“Never in my life did I think I’d have to battle two eight month olds – nevermind my own babies.” He stops to fake glare at your son, watching his little head of silver hair turn to look up at his daddy before quickly looking back at you, rocking back and forth on his butt while making a grabby fist towards you so you’d pick him up.
“For your attention, kitten. I mean really, the leader of Onychinus has met his match. Two sets of little fists with chubby dimples where their knuckles should be have brought me to my damn knees.”
You laugh, dragging your little boy onto your lap and kissing the top of his head. Smiling fondly at his little giggle. “You met your match a long time ago, Sy. We just created two more.” Well, he certainly couldn't deny that. You, of course, were his first weakness. The two little creatures on your lap were his second.
“You’ve weakened me, kitten. Whatever will we do?”
“Hmm, maybe we can make some more?”
Caleb was just a tad bit butt-hurt when your two and a half year old son entered his “nobody, not even dada, can come within five feet of mama” phase.
Coming home from work, for example, would lead to tears running down his chubby face when you and Caleb shared a hug and a kiss. Going to bed meant you would sleep in your son’s tiny toddler bed until he was in a deep slumber before sneaking back into Caleb’s arms. Until he woke up and wiggled his way between you both.
It wasn’t as if your little boy disliked him, he was his dad after all. It was just that he was overprotective of his mama. Exactly like his father. If he didn’t have Caleb’s eyes and smile, you’d still be able to tell his DNA ran through that little boy’s veins with the way he obsessed over you. “C’mon bud, I can’t give mama a kiss?”
Your son clung to you, squeezing just a little harder as Caleb inched forward. You tried your best not to laugh, holding your boy tightly in your arms as Caleb approached like you were both wounded stray cats. “No! Nuh-uh!” His mama’s stubbornness was definitely inherited. “What about a hug? Kiss on the cheek? A high five?”
He was desperate.
Caleb felt like he was being deprived of his own wife. But dammit, the little boy in your embrace was melting his heart regardless of what he did. “No! Leave!” He bellowed, face contorted in grumpiness as you tried to stifle a laugh. “Hey now, that’s not nice, baby. Be nice to dada, say no thank you.” Caleb nearly choked on air. “No thank you?”
But you only grinned, “I gotta teach him manners while also teaching him to stand his ground.” Caleb frowned at that, you weren’t exactly wrong with that idea. “Can I give my buddy a hug and a kiss?”
Caleb was nearly a foot away now, and you felt your son’s head peek upwards at the question. A hesitant little nod shook his head as he used one arm to reach for Caleb.
Maybe it was a little trick, because Caleb used that opportunity to hug you both, kissing his baby boy’s head as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. “We’ll get there eventually.”
steal my girl! ─── when the lads men see you, their girlfriend, out in public with another man.
♥︎ zayne, xavier, rafayel, sylus, caleb
✩ genre: fluff, lighthearted jealousy au, slice of life
note. this is VERY old and i can’t even remember what operant conditioning is so i likely used it incorrectly. i also forgot that rafayel doesn’t like the pet name “baby” when making this so let’s all ignore that piece of information…
⋆。°✩ holding the world in my hands | lads x reader
synopsis: comparing hands with the boys (pre-relationship) ♡
cw: happy valentine’s day! fluff, cursing, light suggestiveness, slight angst (Caleb’s, sorry) with comfort, spoilers for Caleb’s story, clichéness…lol
X A V I E R 。˚○
“This is so unfair!”
You groaned into your hands as the split screen on the TV rubbed your loss in your face. “How do you keep winning?! You have to be cheating…”
“Why would I do that?” he mused while grabbing his drink from the coffee table and taking a sip.
“I don’t know! You clearly know something about the game that I don’t…” you folded your arms over your chest before sinking into the sofa in defeat.
Noticing your pout, he waved his controller in the air. “Are the controllers different sizes?”
“I don’t think that’s possib—hey!” you yelped as Xavier stole your controller from where you had left it on the couch. Sitting up, you made several poor attempts to take it back which Xavier easily dodged.
Flipping it in his hands as you demanded your controller back, he hummed with a determined glint in his eyes. “Maybe you have smaller hands…”
At his words, you held your hands in front of you. “I doubt that’s the problem…” your voice trailed off.
“…”
“Uh, Xavier?”
“Yeah?”
His hand was splayed against yours, skin surprisingly cool against your own. He inspected the comparison for a moment before drumming his fingertips against your own.
“I guess that’s not it,” he concluded, but he didn’t move to pull his hand away, and neither did you.
Finally tearing your gaze off of your touching palms, you looked to Xavier who was already watching you. A pale pink dusted his cheeks yet his expression remained ever-so stoic.
“Hmm…” he pondered, shifting his hand to allow his fingers to entangle with yours before closing. Your eyebrows raised before you mirrored his actions with a grin, locking your hands together.
“What’s this?” you giggled as you shake your joined hands.
“Could be that your hands are sore from fighting wanderers all day.”
“Oh, you think so?”
He nodded with a seemingly serious look, though the slight curl of his lips told you all you needed to know. “We should take a break from the game. Don’t want you to get a cramp.”
You adjusted your hold on him, your hand now wrapped more comfortably around his. You relaxed back onto the cushions and craned your head back, looking at Xavier with lidded eyes. “What do you suggest we do then?”
The light blush he once wore returned along with a small smile as he glanced away. “I have a few ideas…”
An hour later, with a blanket draped across both of your legs, Xavier’s tired eyes went in and out of focus on the movie you had chosen trying to fight sleep. They widened when the weight of your head appeared on his shoulder.
Eyes already shut and breathing slow, your sleeping face caused his eyes to soften, followed by him laying his head on yours, the sweet scent of your shampoo flooding his senses. With a content sigh, Xavier followed you to dream land.
He never let go of your hand.
Z A Y N E 。˚○
Happy Snowman was in rough shape.
The poor plush’s popsicle accessory had gotten snagged and was this close to falling off. You immediately called Zayne to come save the day.
‘Zayne, are you busy? It’s urgent! Well, not like, urgent urgent, but…still!’
You could hear a distant chuckle on his end. ‘I’m just about to drive home from the hospital. Are you alright?’
‘I’m fine, but…Happy Snowman needs you.’
‘Oh? What happened?’
You hurriedly explained the situation, doing your best not to take up too much of his little free time, and hesitantly asked him to come over. ‘I understand if you can’t though! I bet you’ve had a long day and are tired—’
‘I’ll be there.’
Now, here you were, sat at your kitchen table as you watched Zayne prepare to ‘operate’ on your dearest plushy. You thought back to when he had actually won you the plush at the Twinkle Toys claw machine, a smile creeping onto your face.
Refocusing on the moment, you followed Zayne’s precise movements as he swiftly inserted thread through the eye of the needle, tied it, and began to reattach Happy Snowman’s popsicle hat. As you observed him work, your mind began to wander. “Have your hands always been so steady, Dr. Zayne?”
“What makes you ask that?” he doesn’t look up from his project, but you could tell he was paying attention.
“Dunno. Just admiring you, I guess.”
His eyes glance to you above his glasses momentarily at that. Emotions that you’ve yet to name flickered on his face before he resumed sewing. “I suppose they have.”
“I’m not surprised. I can’t thread the needle for the life of me,” you joked as you rested your head on your hand.
“There, all done.”
A new and improved Happy Snowman was presented to you by familiar scarred hands.
“Yay! You saved him!” you beamed, taking your precious friend from the doctor. Your fingers brushed his at the exchange to which he remained silent. Grabbing one of its hands, you made the snowman wave at Zayne. “I hope he was a good patient.”
“He did great for his first operation,” he patted Happy Snowman’s head with a calm smile finding your gesture quite cute. As you took a second to appreciate his work, Zayne could tell by your expression you had more you wanted to ask. “What’s on your mind?”
You placed Happy Snowman in your lap. “Can you hold your hand out?”
“What are you up to?” a playful tone evident in his question, though he did as you asked.
“Look how shaky my hands are compared to yours. Isn’t that crazy?” you positioned your hand in front of his, fingers flexing to emphasize.
Your statement made him visibly pause. After a second of contemplation, he took your hand and brought your knuckles to his lips to press a fleeting yet flustering kiss. “They’re perfect.”
R A F A Y E L 。˚○
The sand of Whitesand Bay was known to shimmer under the moonlight of Linkon. With a clear sky and setting sun, Rafayel invited you for a stroll.
You found him leaning against a nearby palm tree, thumbs hooked into his pockets. His eyes lit up when he spotted you, pushing off the tree. “There you are, cutie! We should really work on your time management skills—I thought you forgot me again.”
“I’m literally only a minute late this time…” you rolled your eyes while propping a hand on your hip.
With an offended gasp, he clutched his chest. “Y’know what could happen in one whole minute?”
“What, are sea turtles climbing trees again?”
He pouted.
“…Maybe.”
You sighed before motioning him to take the lead. “C’mon. Didn’t you wanna show me something?”
In a comfortable quiet, you reveled in the sounds of nature: the sand crunching beneath your feet, the gust of the wind, the rhythmic crash of the waves. It had been weeks since you had time to relax, and what better way to escape from back-to-back missions than a trip to the beach?
“Someone’s enjoying themselves,” though it sounded like a tease, Rafayel simply enjoyed the state you were in.
Tilting your head back and inhaling the scent of the sea, you didn’t deny the claim, not even bothering to refute it.
As you approached a large rock, you gasped in disbelief once you rounded its jagged edges.
Illuminated by the rays of the moon, a dolphin waited in the shallow waters, dorsal fin breaking the waves.
“A beauty, isn’t she?” he said blithely. You nodded vigorously as you rushed over to watch from up close. Heart warming at the way your eyes shined at the sight of his dolphin friend, he slowly waded into the water. “Wanna say hi?”
Quickly kicking off your sandals, you followed Rafayel’s lead. At the appearance of his presence, the dolphin released a greeting from its blowhole and swam closer.
With practiced ease, he dipped his fingers into the water for the dolphin to nuzzle his hand. Despite copying his actions rather perfectly, the creature puffed its blowhole at you, littering your face with a spray of the ocean.
“I don’t think she likes me…” you laughed nervously, rubbing your face clean.
“Nah, she just doesn’t meet new people very often, and she probably senses your nerves. Here, gimme.”
You tilted your head like a lost puppy.
“Your hand, cutie.”
You stuck your hand in front of you. At that, Rafayel placed his hand on the back of yours. Your heart skipped a beat.
He guided your hand to the surface of the water, fingers barely breaking the tension. With the Lemurian’s guidance, the dolphin didn’t pull away, allowing you to rub along its head and fin. A giddy feeling overtook you not only at the feeling of the mammal’s slick skin but Rafayel’s hand still steering your movements.
Sensing your satisfaction with the meeting, he took the opportunity to memorize the different kind of fire he felt at your touch, deciding to lock hands with you.
“Rafayel? Did I mess up?”
Your concern for the dolphin was too cute for him. You were really living up to your nickname today.
“Even your hands are cute…” he murmured to himself, though he knew you would hear him. His attention was focused on the details of your hand, but he could see your jaw drop in his peripheral.
Deciding the dolphin had stolen your attention from him long enough, he tugged you out of the ocean while waving to the sea creature.
“Wh—Rafayel!” you whined.
Snickering at your state of disarray, he tightened his grip on you, snatched your sandals up by the loops, and resumed your walk down the coastline. “It’s getting late. Let’s go back.”
Speeding up to match his pace, you stared at your intertwined fingers. Deciding to reciprocate with a squeeze, you swung your hands with the breeze.
He said nothing, but there was no hiding the twitch of the corners of his mouth.
S Y L U S 。˚○
After another boxing session with Sylus, you sat on the edge of the ring, raw knuckles held in your lap. He kneeled in front of you, bandages and disinfectant in hand.
“You did well today, sweetie,” he praised as he started to clean your skin. His gentle touch was almost nonexistent—if it weren’t for the sting of the antiseptic on your wounds, you wouldn’t have known he was there. “I’m proud of you.”
You let you a breathy laugh at his compliments while wincing. “Thanks, Sylus.”
His actions halted as his ruby eyes found yours, searching to make sure you were okay. He continued after you gave him a nod.
As you sat in silence, Sylus carefully placed both of your hands in one of his, using his now free hand to open the package of bandages.
Wait, both of your hands?
You found a new fascination with the outrageous size of his hands. You were well aware of the fact that his hands were bigger than yours due to his frequent past failed attempts at resonance with you, but damn, his hands are so big.
“Mmm… you think so?”
You straightened and looked up in shock. “Hm?”
He smirked as color drained from your face, repeating your confused squeak. “Hm?”
“Did…I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
“You did.”
You opened your mouth to defend yourself only to find yourself utterly speechless, humiliated. Used to the endless teasing and banter that you grew to know so well, you closed your eyes and braced for the worst only to be met by the soft texture of gauze on the back of your hand.
Sylus said nothing as he wrapped your split knuckles with experienced ease.
Squinting in confusion, you pursed your lips. You couldn’t recall the last time Sylus hadn’t seized the opportunity to tease you. In fact, you didn’t think it had happened ever. “…Sylus?”
He hummed in response, only looking up after completing taking care of your injuries.
“Aren’t you gonna, I don’t know… tease me?”
“Now why would I do that?”
“…”
“Don’t look at me like that, sweetie,” he chuckled, letting out that rich laugh of his that made your head spin. Now cradling your hands in his, he cocked his head to the side. “It’s not often that you compliment me. Think of it as me simply basking in the attention.”
Boldened by his confession, you snatched one of his hands up and began to inspect it.
“Oh? It seems I’ve piqued someone’s interest,” he mused. Ignoring his smug expression, you spread his fingers and pressed your hands together.
“Huge ass hands…” you muttered at the way his fingertips peaked over yours with the side-by-side comparison before you. Only then did you notice the way he was looking at you. His typical sharp features seemed to have dulled. No, they seemed to have softened. The great care he held in his eyes caught you off guard. “W-what?”
“Your ‘paw’ is quite soft, kitten.”
You weren’t sure what was faster: the retraction of your hands or the wave of embarrassment. Your face quickly felt like it was on fire.
He then rose and grabbed a bottle of water, handing it to you before turning to leave. “Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Closing the door to his personal gym, he stared down at his palm.
If only you could see the smile on his face.
C A L E B 。˚○
“Aw, look at this one,” you held up a worn shirt with two small handprints on the front, forming the shape of a heart.
You were sat with Caleb on your bed going through a box of keepsakes you had stored in your apartment. He watched with an amused look as you whipped out different nostalgic trinkets from your seeming past lives.
Sitting up from his recline in your pillows, he took the small shirt from you. “I remember this. You complained I ruined it since, apparently, I made it uneven.”
“Well, it kinda is…” you laughed. Suddenly, an idea popped into your head, causing you to hop off the bed and rummage around your closet.
“Whatcha up to, pipsqueak?”
Returning with a plain shirt of the same color, you balled it up and tossed it at him (which he, of course, caught with ease). Skipping over to your desk, you revealed two bottles of paint. “Let’s recreate it!”
Moved to the floor to avoid any mess, you sat on your knees as you squeezed the different colored paints on two separate plates. Caleb was across from you, arm resting on his propped up knee.
“Okay, get over here, lazy,” you commanded, handing him a plate. “You know the drill.”
Coating your left and his right hand in paint, you stamped your handprints on the center of the laid out shirt, replicating the heart you had made so many years ago.
As you both lifted your hands, you groaned at the result. “Ugh, Caleb, you dummy! You made it uneven again with your Godzilla hands!”
Raising an eyebrow at your complaint, he scoffed at your pickiness while looking at your work. “Did not.”
“Did too!”
“Did not!” he bantered back. “If anything, your positioning is off.”
You saw how the corner of his mouth twitched upward at your aghast face. Shooting him a glare, you got up, tugging his clean hand so he would get up with you. “Let’s go clean up, Mr. ‘baseball-mitts-for-hands’.”
After washing the paint off your hands, you noticed the way Caleb was staring at his right hand as if it had betrayed him.
“What’s wrong?”
His breath hitched before he shook his head. A shake of anger or of denial? You had no clue. He hesitantly reached for your hand, unsure if you would pull away or not. He slowly opened your relaxed hand and pressed his to yours.
You had done this many times in the past, but the distance from that past made it feel like lifetimes ago.
“Guess it was me who messed up the shirt, huh?” he joked, trying to steer the conversation away from his feelings, but he knew it was too late to distract you. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he was talking about the shirt or not. Voice barely above a whisper, you could hear the way his emotions shook him. “..can’t feel you.”
You sighed. It was clear after knowing him for so long that he was internally spiraling, spiraling into a loop of grief and regret once more. Although you may have been apart and he was a very different man than the Caleb you once knew, he was still Caleb.
He was still the boy who had nightmares and immediately searched for you, the boy who had eaten dinner with you every evening.
He was still yours.
“Look at me, Caleb.”
His eyes find you through a cloud of thoughts. You could see a pang of guilt ripple through him.
“You feel me in your heart, don’t you?”
With a silent gulp, he clasped his hand, his right hand, over yours and brought it to press where his heart was. Finding your gaze again, he nodded. His vulnerability was rare nowadays—you smiled at his openness to you.
“Then that,” you began, keeping your palm splayed over his heart but moving to cup his face with your free hand. He instinctively chased the warmth of your skin on his cheek with an underlying fear it’d be the last time. “That’s enough.”
As the sound of his heartbeat echoed through his body, he realized…
Maybe he could finally be enough for you.
a/n: thank you SO much for all the love on my last post! if you enjoyed this, which was sm fun to write, feel free to leave a like, comment, or reblog ♡
synopsis: their reactions to hearing 'i love you' for the first time. ♡
content: fluff, angst if u squint really hard
zayne. ݁⋆ ۶ৎ ݁˖ .
The night was hushed, painted in silvers and blues. Moonlight glazed over the lake below, fractured by the soft rippling of water and the sway of reeds that leaned toward the shore. Your boots clicked lightly against the concrete of the bridge, each step softened by the steady rhythm of Zayne’s beside you. The air was crisp, biting faintly at your cheeks, and you drew in a slow breath, watching it cloud white before you.
It should have been an ordinary walk home. Yet your heartbeat was anything but ordinary in this moment.
Zayne walked as he always did — posture straight, purposeful, as though even a stroll required discipline. His dark coat brushed against your sleeve every so often when the wind nudged you closer, and each accidental touch set little flares loose in your chest. You let your eyes linger on him, stealing the kind of glance you’d never allow yourself if he looked your way.
The sharp line of his jaw, the sweep of his hair — it was all achingly familiar and startlingly new, the boy you once adored had grown into a man who seemingly carried the weight of the world with him.
You remembered being younger, pestering Gran for any scrap of news after Zayne moved away. Always asking — was he eating well, was he still reading as much as he used to, was he happy? The ache of his absence had never dulled; it had simply nestled deep inside, an ember that flared whenever you thought of him.
When fate had led you back to him — not as the boy you trailed after with wide-eyed admiration, but as the doctor who became yours to trust again — it had felt like being handed a second chance you hadn’t dared to hope for.
Your heart tugged warmly at the memories that followed. The rare spark in his eyes when he tasted a dessert he pretended not to care for. The sharp, scolding edge of his voice when patching you up after some scrape, his hands steady even when his words betrayed worry. The silence he offered you, never empty, but full — a place where your heart could rest without performance. All of it made your chest flutter the same way it had back then, only deeper now, sharper. You knew with startling certainty that you loved him.
You were so lost in that realization that you almost didn’t notice him looking down at you.
“Are you cold?” His voice was low, almost blending with the rustle of water beneath the bridge.
You blinked, startled out of your thoughts, and shook your head. “No, I’m fine.”
Zayne’s eyes narrowed faintly — not unkind, but assessing. He hummed, as if weighing your answer against the slight tremor of your shoulders. “I think you’re lying.”
Before you could protest, he shifted closer, his large hand finding yours with ease. He didn’t lace your fingers immediately; instead, he slid both of your hands into the warmth of his coat pocket, enclosing them there in one deliberate motion. His palm settled over your knuckles, steady and firm, and the heat of his skin sank into yours until the chill of the night was gone.
Your breath caught, your chest tightening.
The world seemed to shrink to the span of that pocket, the way his body leaned subtly toward yours, his warmth wrapping around you like a shield. The steady rhythm of his stride never faltered, but you felt the smallest squeeze of his fingers around yours — an unconscious gesture, or maybe something he hadn’t meant for you to notice.
Your heart hammered. You could hear the faint rasp of the lake’s waves beneath the bridge, the distant hum of the city ahead of you, but all of it seemed distant. What was close, painfully close, was Zayne — his scent of clean linen and faint jasmine, the measured cadence of his breath, the silent vow carried in the way he held you against the cold without hesitation.
You wanted to tell him then. How much you loved him. How much you always had. How the boy you once chased with adoration had grown into the man who made your world feel steady and aflame all at once. But the words snagged in your throat, tangled in the overwhelming tenderness of the moment.
Your fingers flexed inside his pocket, curled around his hand as if holding on too tightly might anchor the rush of thoughts racing through your mind. The warmth of his palm was steady, but your chest felt anything but.
You wanted to tell him. The words pressed against your tongue, restless, demanding release. I love you. It burned at the back of your throat. But then the doubt crept in, as sharp and cold as the night air against your skin.
What if it was too soon? What if he didn’t feel the same?
Zayne had known you when you were a child, had watched you stumble through scraped knees and mischief and all the fragile stages of growing up. Now he was your doctor, tasked with your well-being in every sense. Did he see you as anything more than someone to take care of? Was his presence at your side born of choice — or obligation?
Gran’s voice echoed faintly in your mind, her fond insistence that Zayne always look after you. She had worried, she had asked it of him. Was he here because of her? Carrying out her wishes as though they were duty, and nothing more?
The thought gnawed at you, bitter and relentless. Would you embarrass yourself if you said it aloud? Confessed love to a man whose expression so rarely cracked, whose heart you could never quite read?
Your grip on his hand unconsciously tightened, the nervousness coiling too tight to contain.
Zayne’s voice cut through, low and calm, as though he had felt the exact moment your thoughts began to spiral. “You’re squeezing my hand.”
Your head jerked up, heat rushing to your cheeks. “Sorry,” you blurted, pulling against his hold, but his fingers only flexed, keeping you tethered in his pocket.
He slowed, then stopped walking altogether, turning just enough to study your face. The moonlight fell across his features, sculpting his cheekbones into sharp relief, the green of his eyes catching glints of silver from the lake. Concern softened the usually impassive lines of his expression.
“Is everything alright?” His tone carried the weight of a doctor’s instinct, but also something quieter, gentler. “Are you feeling okay?”
Your face flamed hotter under his gaze. You shook your head quickly, looking down at your boots. “I’m fine. It’s just… the cold.”
The lie felt flimsy in the air between you.
Zayne said nothing. The silence stretched, filled only by the faint lapping of the lake beneath and the beating of your own heart in your ears. Then, without warning, he shifted. You felt the brush of movement before you understood it — his hands leaving yours only for a moment, the sudden chill biting your skin — and then the heavy warmth of his scarf was wrapping around your neck.
The fabric was still warm from where it had rested against him, faintly carrying his scent. He adjusted it carefully, his long fingers brushing against your jaw, grazing the line of your throat with clinical precision and something more.
When you looked up, startled, his eyes were already on you. His voice dropped lower, almost intimate in its quiet.
“Better?”
The simple word undid you.
The scarf was snug around your throat, his warmth still clinging to the weave, but it was the intensity of his gaze that made you forget the cold altogether. His green eyes, always sharp and composed, now seemed softer in the silver wash of moonlight. For a moment you simply stared, struck by how unbearably handsome he was like this — unguarded, standing close enough that you could see the faint scar gracing his upper lip, the curve of his lashes catching light.
Zayne’s brow arched slightly. “What is it?” he asked, his voice even, though there was a note of curiosity beneath it.
Your chest constricted. The words you had been swallowing all night surged forward with no warning, no thought.
You didn’t think. Couldn’t.
“I love you.”
The confession burst from you in a rush, breathless, trembling, suspended in the frosty air between you.
The moment after was silent, impossibly so. The bridge, the lake, the winter night — it all seemed to hold its breath, waiting on him.
Zayne’s eyes widened at your words, the practiced composure on his face cracking in an instant. A faint flush spread over his cheeks, climbing up the edges of his ears until they glowed against the pale sweep of moonlight. His lips parted, caught on a single syllable.
“I…”
He broke off, glancing away toward the dark water below, his lashes lowering like a shutter drawn too quickly.
Your stomach lurched. Panic surged in a hot wave through your chest. “I’m sorry,” you rushed out, your voice uneven. “That was—I shouldn’t have—it was so sudden—”
“Don’t apologize.”
The interruption was soft, but firm enough to stop the tumble of your words. Zayne turned back to you, his eyes steady now, though a thread of vulnerability flickered in their depths. He reached for your hands, finding them easily and drawing them up between you. His fingers laced with yours deliberately, as though binding you to the truth of what he said next.
“I love you too.”
The words left him quieter than yours had, but no less certain.
Before you could breathe in the shock of it, his hand lifted, cupping your cheek. His palm was warm even in the night air, calloused fingertips brushing over your skin with reverence that made your heart pound harder.
“Forgive me if I…” He leaned in closer, the tip of his nose brushing against your temple as his voice rumbled low, halting only once as though he was still piecing together a language unfamiliar. “...am still a bit unsure how to show it.”
Then his lips pressed to yours.
The kiss was soft, measured — like everything he did — yet it carried weight, years of restrained emotion pouring through the gentle press of his mouth against yours. His thumb stroked once against your cheekbone before he broke away, though he didn’t retreat far. Instead, he leaned his forehead to yours, nuzzling there, his breath mingling with yours in the narrow space. For a long, still moment he simply rested, as if anchoring himself to the shape of you.
When he finally pulled back, his gaze caught yours, holding you fast. The world around you blurred — the bridge, the cold, the ripple of the lake — everything narrowed to the green depths of his eyes fixed so intently on you.
“What is it?” you whispered, unsettled by the intensity of his stare.
“Nothing.” His lips twitched into the faintest curve, though his voice was softer, almost reverent. “It’s just… the moon is beautiful tonight.”
You turned instinctively, the moon hung full and luminous above, spilling silver light across the surface of the lake until it glittered like broken glass. The cold breeze stirred the reeds, carrying the quiet song of water against earth. For a moment you let yourself admire it, the glow so striking it nearly stole your breath.
When you turned back to him, Zayne was still watching you. His expression was unreadable, though the tenderness in his eyes was unmistakable.
“We should watch the moon together from now on,” he said, voice low, deliberate. A pause, then the faintest smile curved at his lips as he added, “My love.”
The words wrapped around you warmer than his scarf, lingering even as the night wind bit at your cheeks. And in that moment, standing on the bridge with Zayne’s hands still tangled with yours, you knew there was no need for doubt.
xavier. ݁⋆ ۶ৎ ݁˖ .
The clock ticked far too loudly in the silence of your apartment. Each second seemed to scrape against your nerves, pulling them thinner and thinner, until your skin buzzed with restless energy. You couldn’t sit. Couldn’t lie down. Couldn’t do anything but pace the length of your living room with your arms folded tight across your chest as if that could contain the twisting, gnawing pit in your stomach.
Two days. Two entire days of silence. Xavier had left three nights ago with little more than a vague “I’ll be gone a while, star. We’ll meet up when I’m back.” You had pressed, of course — you always pressed. Where? Why? Was he safe? Could he at least promise to check in? But he’d only given you that soft half-smile, the one that hid far more than it revealed, before slipping away into the night.
You’d gone to Jeremiah in desperation yesterday, hoping he might throw you a bone, even a scrap of reassurance. But even he had only shaken his head, lips pressed in that implacable line that told you whatever Xavier was doing, it was not something you were meant to know. That knowledge had landed in your stomach like ice.
And so the silence stretched. Longer. Colder. Louder.
It wasn’t his absence that unraveled you — it was the thought of what that absence might mean. Your mind painted endless, vicious scenarios: Xavier’s body crumpled somewhere in an alley, his blood soaking into the pavement, his eyes already glazed. Or trapped, wounded, captured by someone who hated him more than they feared him. You imagined his voice fading away mid-sentence, the last time you’d ever hear it. Imagined never again feeling the dry warmth of his fingers tracing along your arm, never again hearing him laugh at your teasing, never having the chance to tell him—
The thought stopped you mid-step, breath catching like a hook in your throat.
You loved him.
Not in the vague, fluttery way you’d once thought of the word, but in a way that sat heavy in your bones, aching, undeniable. You loved him so deeply that the thought of a world without him in it hollowed you out from the inside. And you had never told him. Not once.
The realization made your knees weaken, dread pooling at the base of your spine until your whole body trembled with it. If he was gone — if he never walked back through that door — you would never get the chance. You would carry those words unsaid for the rest of your life.
Your pacing grew frantic. Nails dug crescents into your palms. The room seemed to close in, air thinning with the pressure of your spiraling thoughts.
Then — the sharp creak of hinges.
You froze. The front door shuddered open, slow, deliberate. For a heartbeat you thought it might be your imagination conjuring him back to you, but then you heard the scrape of boots against your floor. The faint metallic rasp of a weapon shifting in its holster.
And there he was.
Xavier filled the doorway like a shadow, shoulders bowed with fatigue, eyes rimmed with the dark exhaustion of sleepless nights. His uniform was travel-worn, scuffed with dirt and faint traces of dried blood, but he was standing. Breathing. Alive.
Relief slammed into you so hard it was almost painful. But the relief twisted immediately into something sharper — anger, heartbreak, the crackling current of every emotion you’d stewed in for the past two days rising to the surface at once.
You didn’t think. Couldn’t. The moment his shape filled the doorway you launched forward, the storm inside you breaking all at once. Your arms wrapped tight around him, crushing, desperate, your cheek pressing against the rough fabric of his coat. His familiar scent — lavender, cotton, and that faint clean spice of his skin — hit you like a wave. He stiffened at first, then let out a low breath and returned the embrace, strong arms encircling you, one hand curling against the small of your back.
Alive. He was alive.
But when you pulled back, relief curdled at once into something sharper. You caught sight of him properly — his silver hair was mussed and damp with sweat, his sharp blue eyes shadowed with exhaustion. The collar of his uniform was smudged with dirt, and there were thin cuts lining his jaw, disappearing beneath his clothes. Worse, patches of dark, dried blood stained the sleeve of his coat and streaked along the edge of his gloves.
Your stomach dropped.
“What happened to you?” The words came out hoarse, your fingers already tugging at his sleeve, pushing fabric back to examine what you could. “Where were you?”
“It’s nothing,” he said softly, almost too softly, as though he could soothe the panic right out of your bones. “Just a few scratches. Minor mission.”
“Minor—?” You broke off with a sharp laugh, more disbelief than humor, your eyes burning hot. “Then why couldn’t I know about it, Xavier? Why did you disappear for two days and leave me here not knowing if you were even breathing?”
His gaze flicked down, lashes pale against the hollow beneath his eyes. “Because if I told you, you’d want to come.” His voice was calm, maddeningly calm. “And you’d risk getting hurt. It’s better this way.”
“Better?” Your voice cracked, climbing. “It is not better, Xavier. You don’t get to decide that for me. You don’t get to just vanish, bleed out god-knows-where, and then walk back in here acting like it’s fine!”
He lifted a hand, palm out as though to steady you. “Starlight…” The pet name slipped from his lips like a balm, but it only made your chest ache harder. “I’m okay. I’m sorry I worried you, truly. But there’s no reason to be this upset over it.”
The words stung like a slap.
Your head snapped up, meeting his gaze. His silver hair had fallen loose across his brow, damp strands catching the dim light. His blue eyes were steady, unreadable, but the calm in them only made your heart burn hotter.
“Yes, there is,” you shot back, voice trembling, thick with everything you’d been choking down for days. “There is every reason, Xavier.”
He tilted his head, brows pulling faintly. “What do you mean?”
And then it ripped out of you, raw and unstoppable, before you could think better of it.
“I love you.” Your chest heaved as the words hung in the space between you, heavy as lead. “I have every reason to be upset because I spent the last two days terrified you’d never walk through that door again. That I’d never see your face. That I’d never get to tell you—” You broke off, swallowing hard. “I love you, Xavier.”
Silence fell.
He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. His blue eyes widened just faintly, as if the words had frozen him where he stood. You could hear the faint drip of rain against the window, the hollow tick of the clock on the wall. Every beat of your heart pounded like a drum, and still he said nothing.
Then, at last, he stepped closer. One hand lifted, roughened by leather and steel, and then the other, cupping your face between his palms with an almost reverent slowness. His touch was warm, calloused thumbs brushing at the dampness that had gathered at the corner of your lashes. He leaned down just enough that his hair fell forward, silver strands veiling the sharp angles of his face, blue eyes fixed entirely on you.
“Say it again.”
Your breath caught. “What?”
His lips curved, not quite a smile, more a command whispered low. “Tell me you love me again.”
Your lips parted, breath trembling as you tried again. “Xavier… I love—”
The words were swallowed before they could finish. His mouth crashed into yours, urgent, consuming, every ounce of the restraint he usually wore stripped away. His kiss was desperate, passionate, his grip firm on your face as if he needed to hold you there, needed proof you were real. His lips moved against yours hungrily, unsteady, as though he had been starving for this without admitting it to himself.
When he finally pulled back, you were both breathless. His forehead rested against yours, his silver hair brushing your cheeks, and he whispered, voice hoarse, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you worry.”
You blinked up at him, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. His thumb brushed over your cheek, slow and reverent, catching the wetness there and smoothing it away. The tenderness in the gesture only made your throat tighten more.
“I keep you in the dark because I love you,” he admitted, voice low, strained. “Because the thought of you getting hurt—of me not being able to stop it—” He broke off, jaw tight, his blue eyes burning with quiet anguish. After a moment, softer, he added, “I guess I’ve been making you carry my fears for me. I’ve been an idiot.”
A shaky laugh broke through you, some of your tears finally slipping free. “Yes,” you whispered, smiling wetly. “You have.”
For the first time in days, a real laugh passed his lips too, quiet and rough. Then he kissed you again, gentler this time, the kind of kiss that felt like a vow. When he pulled back, he didn’t stop — his lips brushed across your jaw, your temple, your nose, featherlight kisses peppering your skin as he murmured between them, “I love you. I love you. I love you…”
You squirmed beneath the affection, laughing breathlessly, pushing at his chest until you finally managed to put a little space between you. Heat flared in your cheeks. “You’re not off the hook yet,” you scolded, voice soft but unsteady from your grin.
He only smiled, that faint, roguish curve of his lips that made your stomach flip. “Do your worst, star,” he teased, voice low and fond. “You’re pretty when you’re angry.”
Your gasp was half a laugh, half indignant as you smacked his shoulder lightly. He didn’t even flinch, just chuckled, letting you tug him by the hand toward the couch.
“Come on,” you said, your tone firm in a way that tried — and failed — to hide your tenderness. “I’m patching you up. And you owe me cuddles. A full night of them. And hotpot, every night, for a week.”
His blue eyes softened, that rare warmth flickering there as he let you lead him, his silver hair catching the light like spun moonlight. “Deal,” he said simply, no hesitation at all.
And for the first time since the door had creaked open, the storm inside you began to ease, replaced with something steadier — warmth, love, and the quiet certainty that he wasn’t going anywhere.
sylus. ݁⋆ ۶ৎ ݁˖ .
Steam curled soft ribbons into the air, clinging to your skin and dampening your hair until it stuck to your temples. The bathwater lapped lazily against porcelain and against him, each ripple brushing warmth between you where you sat cradled in Sylus’s lap. His chest was a broad, steady anchor at your back, the rise and fall of his breathing syncing to the quiet rhythm of the water.
He had been taking care of you all day — a fact that, even now, you couldn’t quite believe. Gentle hands when he washed you, a tenderness no one would expect from someone so feared. Now, one of those hands moved slowly over your shoulder, fingertips kneading into muscle as if coaxing tension from you bit by bit. The other rested low on your thigh, steady, possessive but not heavy. His touch was careful, practiced in strength and restraint.
It should have relaxed you completely. And yet, your mind was a restless storm.
You could feel it — the truth you’d been carrying inside you for weeks, months, perhaps longer. The way your heart stuttered whenever he smiled, the way your body seemed to find its ease only when pressed to his. You loved him. You knew it in a way that went deeper than words, deeper than logic. It lived in your bones.
But love was simple to feel, and treacherous to speak.
He had never said it first. Never given you that word. And though every gesture, every small act of tenderness told you he cared, that silence gnawed at the back of your mind. Why had he never said it? Did he not believe in it? Did the word itself frighten him? Or worse — what if he thought it was meaningless?
The rational part of you whispered that Sylus would never mock you, never punish your heart for daring. He’d shown you more patience, more reverence than anyone ever had. Still, a colder voice inside coiled sharp doubts: What if it’s too much? What if I scare him away? What if this word, this truth, destroys what I have?
You shifted slightly, tilting your head against his collarbone, and his hand followed the movement with thoughtless devotion, sliding up to cup the side of your neck. His thumb stroked once, slow, like a promise. The touch made your throat ache.
Tell him, your heart urged. Don’t let it stay locked inside you.
But your mind, that ever-cautious voice, balked. If you say it, there’s no taking it back. He might not be ready. He might never be ready. He might—
The water sloshed softly as Sylus adjusted you in his lap, pulling you closer, almost enveloping you. His lips brushed the curve of your temple, a kiss so light you might have imagined it. The air smelled faintly of the soap he’d used to wash your hair, something sweet and clean that clung to his skin too. You closed your eyes, breathing him in, letting the ache in your chest swell to the edge of breaking.
Here, in the hush of steam and candlelight, his arms strong around you, you felt it again — that sharp, desperate certainty.
You love him.
And if you didn’t tell him soon, you thought you might drown on the word before it ever touched the air.
The rhythm of his touch lulled you halfway between thought and surrender, your mind still tangled in its own storm. You were so consumed by it that you almost missed the low murmur against your ear, velvet and edged with playfulness.
“I can almost hear the thoughts racing through your head, kitten.”
The tease jolted you, heat rushing to your cheeks. He said it so casually, as if he truly could pluck the threads of your worry right from your skull. You didn’t dare answer, only pressed your lips together and let the water’s surface ripple softly as you shifted in his arms.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked after a beat, tone gentler now, though no less probing.
“Nothing…” you said too quickly, too brittle. The word floated between you, a paper-thin shield that crumpled the moment it left your mouth.
He hummed, the sound low in his chest where your back rested. It vibrated through you like a purr of amusement, but not unkind. His arms tightened, pulling you closer until your body fit flush against his. The steam wrapped around both of you like a cocoon as he lowered his chin, resting the weight of his head atop yours.
“You can tell me anything, sweetie,” he murmured. The endearment was hushed, his voice softened as though it might soothe away the knots inside you. And then — almost unconsciously — he began to rock you gently, the faintest sway in the warm water, like you were something precious to cradle rather than hold.
Your throat closed. The ache in your chest clawed higher. His words — anything — pressed against the barricade you’d built, and before you could brace yourself, the truth slipped out, bare and trembling.
“I love you.”
Silence.
The candles flickered in the haze, droplets of condensation sliding down the porcelain of the bath. All you could hear was the faint lap of water and his steady breathing behind you. Too steady. He didn’t answer, didn’t shift, didn’t laugh — nothing.
The silence wrapped tighter, crushing. Panic prickled in your stomach, your thoughts scattering into a hundred sharp edges. Too much. Too soon. He doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t know how to answer. He doesn’t—
You began to turn your head toward him, desperate to read his face, to see if he looked upset, or distant, or—
But his arms cinched tighter around you, holding you still. His grip wasn’t suffocating, but firm, grounding, as though he couldn’t bear to let you slip even an inch away.
Your breath caught.
And then, a different warmth reached you — the warmth of his skin tinged with heat, a faint flush creeping against your temple where it brushed his chest.
When he moved, it was slow, deliberate, his lips ghosting closer to your ear until his breath tickled damp against your skin. His voice, when it came, was softer than you’d ever heard it.
“Do you mean it?”
The question was not teasing now. It carried a tremor — the barest edge of vulnerability hidden beneath his velvet tone. And in that fragile moment, you realized: he wasn’t asking because he doubted you. He was asking because he could hardly believe it was possible at all.
For a moment, you could only sit still in his arms, his question echoing against the damp curve of your ear. Do you mean it? The tremor beneath those words cut deeper than any blade, and it steadied you. Whatever fear still clung to your ribs, you couldn’t let him linger there — not in that fragile doubt.
“Sylus…” His name slipped from your lips on a whisper, softer than the steam rising around you.
You pressed against his hold, not to escape, but to turn, to see him. At first, his arms resisted — instinct tightening to keep you bound to him. But then, slowly, he loosened, letting you shift just enough to face him.
What you found made your breath falter.
Sylus, always so composed, so teasing, so devastatingly sure of himself — was not. His crimson eyes, usually sharp and unflinching, flickered with something raw and unguarded. Vulnerability carved its lines across his face, and beneath it, fear. Not of you, but of what you’d just offered him, as if he half-expected it to vanish if he looked too closely.
Your hand lifted on its own, trembling slightly, and cupped his cheek. His skin was hot beneath your palm, flushed from the bath and from something deeper. His lashes lowered, and for a heartbeat, he leaned into your touch like a man starved.
“Of course I mean it,” you whispered. The truth poured out of you with the certainty you’d been choking down all evening. “I love you, Sylus.”
The silence broke — not with words, but with the sound of his breath catching. Shaky, uneven, almost painful in how hard he tried to control it. His gaze wavered, as though your eyes were too much for him to meet, but finally — finally — he forced himself to look at you.
“I love you too,” he said, voice rougher than you’d ever heard it. His hand rose, fingers trembling faintly as they cradled the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your foreheads nearly touched. “More than anything.”
The confession hung between you like a living thing, fragile and enormous. The steam curled around it, the faint flicker of candlelight gilding the water in gold. He pulled you into him again, his arms winding tight, as if he could fuse you to his very bones.
“It’s not a secret,” he murmured, his mouth brushing your damp hair. “This is all new to me. No one’s ever said those words to me before. I’ve never said them before.” He swallowed hard, the movement pressed against your temple. “But I hope… even though I haven’t spoken it… I hope I’ve shown it. That you’ve felt it.” His voice dipped, almost breaking. “I hope you never doubt it.”
Your throat closed, the weight of his words leaving you utterly speechless. All you could do was cling to him, fingers curling against his chest as though anchoring yourself in the reality of him, the reality of this moment.
He drew a long, uneven breath, then tilted his head, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “Thank you… for loving me.”
The words landed like a vow, like reverence. As though your love was not just accepted, but treasured.
You closed your eyes, letting the warmth of him, the tight circle of his arms, and the glow of candlelight wrap around you. Whatever fear you had carried into this moment dissolved, leaving only the truth you had both finally spoken aloud.
caleb. ݁⋆ ۶ৎ ݁˖ .
The room was hushed, steeped in the kind of silence that only came after hours of talking, laughing, existing together until words fell away and only breath remained. The sheets were warm around you, the faint glow of the bedside lamp casting gold across the angles of his face. Caleb lay beside you, eyes closed, the even rise and fall of his chest a steady rhythm you’d known your whole life.
You found yourself watching him, your gaze tracing familiar lines as if rediscovering them. The slope of his nose, the strong cut of his brows, the faint freckles that dusted his skin — details you’d memorized long ago, yet they still managed to strike you with a quiet awe. He looked calmer in sleep, or near sleep, as though the weight he carried eased just enough to let you glimpse the boy you’d grown up with.
I love him. The thought came so suddenly, so fiercely, it almost stole your breath.
You had always loved him. Through every stage of your life, he’d been there — a constant at your side, a shield when the world grew too sharp. Before you even knew what love was, you had felt it for Caleb. Back then, when you said I love you, it was casual, easy. The words fell from your lips like second nature, woven into the fabric of childhood, into the bond that had never needed explaining.
But thinking back now, you realized those words had always carried an undercurrent you couldn’t name at the time. Every I love you had been more than friendship, more than comfort. It had been I love you, stay by my side forever. I love you, my life has no point without you.
And then the explosion. His absence. The shattering silence where he should have been.
The memory made your chest ache. You hadn’t realized until now just how wrong it felt that, since his return, you hadn’t said it once. Not in passing, not in jest, not at all. For so many years, it had been the refrain of your days, and now, nothing. The absence of those words was louder than the silence of the room.
You turned your head slightly on the pillow, your eyes catching on the way the lamplight skimmed the edge of his jaw, softened the curl of his lashes. Even now, after everything, after the lies and the fractures and the wounds between you, you could not imagine leaving him. No matter what you’d had to work through, not once had the thought of walking away crossed your mind.
The realization pressed hot against your ribs, bubbling up until it became impossible to hold back.
“I love you, Caleb.”
The words slipped out unguarded, quiet in the dim room, but heavy with all the years behind them.
Caleb’s breath caught. His eyes opened slowly, violet irises gleaming faint in the low light. He blinked, and for a moment, he only looked at you — as if he was seeing you not for the first time, but for the first time like this.
Caleb’s eyes lingered on you, unreadable for a breath too long. Then, just as the silence threatened to cave in on you, his mouth curved into a crooked grin — that boyish, familiar expression that belonged to your childhood as much as your present.
“What scheme are you cookin’ up, pips?” he murmured, his voice low, teasing. “Dropping that on me while I’m half asleep… sounds suspicious.”
You blinked at him, stunned by the way he so easily turned it into play. A laugh broke from you — startled, exasperated — and you reached out to swat his arm. “I’m not scheming!”
“Mm.” His grin deepened, lazy and mischievous. “Are you sure? Not tryin’ to butter me up?” He tilted his head slightly on the pillow, eyes glinting. “Not tryin’ to slip somethin’ past me while I’m vulnerable?”
A groan escaped you, and you buried your face into the pillow beside him, muffling both your embarrassment and the sudden swell of affection in your chest. He chuckled softly, the sound low and fond, and you felt the mattress shift as he turned toward you.
You peeked up at him again, only to find him watching you — that grin still tugging at his mouth, though something quieter lingered behind his eyes. You pushed yourself closer, bracing an arm against the bed as you leaned over him until your faces were only inches apart.
“I meant it, Caleb,” you said, your voice steadier now, though your heart raced. “I love you.”
The grin faltered. For the briefest moment, something flickered in his gaze — a crack in his composure, an old vulnerability rising through the playful mask. His eyes softened, darkened, and his lips parted as though words had lodged in his throat.
He reached up, his fingers brushing lightly through your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear. The touch lingered, his knuckles grazing your temple before trailing down your cheek with a tenderness that made you ache.
“Do you mean it like before?” he asked quietly, his usual confidence slipping into hesitation. “Or… is it different now?”
You caught his hand against your face, pressing into his palm, grounding him. “It’s different now,” you whispered. “But also the same. I’ve always loved you, more than I knew how to say.”
His breath left him in a quiet rush, as though your words had knocked something loose inside him. He pulled you down then, closing the space between you, and his lips met yours in the gentlest of kisses — not rushed, not desperate, but laden with the weight of years, of all the things you’d both left unspoken until now.
When he drew back just enough to speak, his forehead pressed against yours, his voice was hushed, almost reverent.
“I love you too. Always.”
Caleb didn’t let go right away. His hand lingered in your hair, his breath fanning warm across your temple, and for a moment you thought he’d gone quiet again. But then his chest rose in a heavier inhale, and when he spoke, his voice was low, unsteady in a way you rarely heard.
“You don’t know how many times I almost ruined it,” he murmured. “How many times I wanted to say it, just blurt it out. But I kept thinking…” He trailed off, thumb brushing over your cheek as though the contact steadied him. “What if I’ve been holding on too tight? What if one day you looked at me and realized you wanted out, and all I did was crush you closer ‘til you broke?”
Your heart twisted, sharp and tender at once. “Caleb…”
He gave a crooked, humorless smile, eyes flicking away for half a second before finding you again. “I tell myself I’d survive it if you left, but—” His jaw worked, his voice rasping now. “The truth is, I wouldn’t. I’d rather cut my own heart out than let it go on beatin’ without you.”
You caught his face between your palms before the thought could spiral darker, forcing him to look at you. “Listen to me,” you said firmly, your thumbs stroking over the strong lines of his jaw. “I’m not leaving. I’ve never once thought about leaving. Not when you disappeared, not when you came back different, not when things were hardest. You’re it for me, Caleb. Always have been.”
For a beat, silence stretched between you, heavy with the weight of what you’d laid bare. Then his lips quirked — small, uncertain, but real. “Always, huh? Guess that means you’re stuck with me smotherin’ you for the rest of your life.”
You laughed, watery but sincere. “Smothering, huh? You make it sound so appealing.”
His grin sharpened, boyish despite the rawness still glimmering in his eyes. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it. You’d miss me hoverin’ if I ever stopped.”
“Maybe a little,” you admitted, nudging his shoulder with yours.
“A little?” He scoffed, feigning offense. “That’s all the credit I get?”
You smirked, leaning close until your lips hovered over his. “Fine. A lot.”
His breath hitched, and the next moment his mouth was on yours again — hotter this time, edged with relief, with the desperate need of a man who’d just been given permission to hold as tightly as he wanted.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead pressed to yours, his voice was a low growl wrapped in warmth. “Good. Because I’m never lettin’ go.”
The words sank deep, steady and unshakable, and you knew he meant them with every piece of himself. His arms slid around you, pulling you fully against him, and you let yourself melt into his warmth, into the familiar cadence of his heartbeat beneath your ear.
The room was quiet again, but this time, the silence wasn’t heavy. It was whole. Full. The kind of silence that wrapped around two people who never needed to speak to be understood.
And for the first time since his return, since everything broke and had to be rebuilt, you felt that old rhythm click back into place — not as it had been before, but as something new, deeper, unshakably yours.
rafayel. ݁⋆ ۶ৎ ݁˖ . ݁
The night air tasted of salt and starlight. The sea stretched vast and endless beside you, moonlight pooling across its surface until it glittered like liquid silver. Each step you took sank softly into the cool sand, the grains shifting beneath your feet before the tide came to erase your footprints. You should have been looking at the ocean — at its power, its quiet grandeur, the way it seemed alive with secrets — but your eyes found him instead. They always did.
Rafayel walked just ahead, hands tucked loosely in his pockets, dark hair tugged playfully by the wind. He glanced back now and then, that usual teasing smirk tugging at his lips as though to ask if you were still keeping up, though you knew he’d slow instantly if you fell behind.
It had been his idea to come here. He’d noticed the way you’d been straining lately, chasing inspiration and falling short, your frustration pressing against your ribs like a too-tight cage. “You’re burning yourself out, cutie.” he’d said, voice soft but firm. “The sea will breathe life back into you. Trust me.”
And of course, you had. You always did.
You should have been drinking in the beauty surrounding you, but all you could think of was him. How he’d let you in, farther than you ever thought he would. Behind the wit, the smirk, the casually flirty remarks, he’d given you the truth of himself — his Lemurian nature, his fears, the quiet weight of guilt and the ache of being forgotten. That wasn’t something he would have shared lightly. Not with just anyone.
And there were the little things. The nightly calls when sleep eluded you, his voice weaving through the static of your phone line until your breathing evened out. The texts throughout the day, sometimes thoughtful, sometimes ridiculous, but always proof that you were in his thoughts. The way he indulged you, time and again, never once making you feel like a burden. The way he noticed — always noticed — when something was wrong, even when you thought you were hiding it well.
You thought of how he hated to be made to wait, how impatience flickered across his face in the smallest of gestures when things dragged on too long. And you realized that’s exactly what you’d been doing — making him wait. Not for your affection; he knew he had that. But for your words. For the truth you’d been keeping pressed behind your teeth out of fear.
Fear of heartbreak. Fear that maybe, despite everything, he didn’t mean it the way you did. That maybe all of this was just who he was — charming, magnetic, too much of him to ever belong only to you.
But no. That wasn’t fair. Not to him, not to yourself. He deserved to hear it.
Your chest tightened, breath catching on the salt-laced wind. The tide rushed in close, foaming around your ankles, then retreated again, carrying your hesitation with it. You looked at him — really looked — at the soft glow of his skin moonlight, at the laughter that always seemed ready in his eyes, at the way the ocean breeze caught his hair like it had known him for centuries.
You loved him. You had for longer than you wanted to admit. And maybe you’d made him wait long enough.
“Rafayel,” you called, stopping in your tracks.
He turned at once, silvered moonlight catching the dusky sweep of his hair, his eyes glinting like seawater under starlight. His smile curved easy, teasing, like always. “What is it, cutie?”
Suddenly, your throat felt dry, your pulse a frantic flutter against your ribs. The words you had been carrying weighed heavier now that you had invited his attention. Heat flooded your cheeks, and your gaze faltered, slipping down to where your toes curled into the cool sand.
“Close your eyes,” you blurted.
His brows flicked up, surprise flashing quick before amusement settled in. A soft laugh carried on the wind. “What is this, a trust exercise? If you’re about to push me into the tide, I should at least have fair warning.”
Despite the joke, he obeyed, lashes lowering as he clasped his hands behind his back with exaggerated patience. The ocean hushed and rolled at your side, filling the silence.
You stepped close, heart hammering, and leaned in. The brush of your lips against his cheek was feather-light, but it made your skin spark as though you’d just stepped off the edge of a cliff. You pulled back only enough to whisper, voice trembling but sure:
“I love you.”
His eyes flew open, a flush rising so fast you could see it bloom across his cheekbones, staining the tips of his ears. He looked utterly caught off guard — the great Rafayel, always so smooth, suddenly shy beneath your gaze.
“You can’t just—” he stammered, then huffed, his voice breaking into a half-laugh, half-whine as he swept you into his arms. He buried his face in your hair, his words muffled against you. “You can’t just spring things on me like that. Do you know what you’ve done? You stole the most romantic opportunity right out from under me. What am I supposed to do now?”
Your laugh bubbled out, soft and unsteady, arms circling his waist. “Do you want me to take it back, then? So you can say it first?”
He jerked back instantly, eyes wide, the ocean’s reflection shimmering in their depths. “No,” he said firmly, voice low, as though even the sea shouldn’t misunderstand him. His hands cradled your face, thumbs brushing your cheeks, reverent and certain. “Never take it back.”
His smile softened then, losing its edges, becoming something vulnerable, something only for you. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to yours — not one of his usual sweeping, showman kisses, but something gentler, slower, like a vow sealed beneath the stars. When he drew away, his breath ghosted warm across your lips.
“I love you too,” he murmured, and the sincerity in his tone settled into your bones like the tide filling the shore. “More than I’d ever manage to put into words,”
Your chest ached with relief and tenderness. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”
“Don’t apologize,” he cut in softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I would’ve waited forever if I had to.”
“But you hate waiting,” you whispered, smiling through your blush.
His grin curved, sly but fragile at the edges. “It’s not so bad when I’m waiting for you.”
The words stole your breath, your blush deepening. You reached up on instinct, pinching his cheek with mock severity. “Always trying to out-romance me…”
Rafayel chuckled, catching your wrist before you could retreat. Instead of another quip, though, he pressed a lingering kiss to your palm, his lips soft and warm against your skin. When he looked back at you, the laughter had dimmed from his expression, replaced by something rawer, heavier.
“Cutie…” His voice softened, almost unsteady, like a tide pulling back to reveal something fragile beneath. His thumb traced over the lines of your fingers before lacing them with his own. “You say you love me now, and I believe you. But will you still—” He hesitated, swallowing, the word catching in his throat. “Will you still love me no matter what I become?”
The question landed like a stone in your chest. His eyes — so often glinting with mischief — were wide open now, luminous with vulnerability. The night wrapped around you both, the ocean whispering as though it, too, was waiting for your answer.
You tightened your grip on his hand, stepping closer until you could feel the warmth of his body through the cool brush of sea air. “Rafayel,” you said firmly, searching his gaze. “I’m not going anywhere. Not if you’re angry, not if you’re lost, not if you’re hurting. Not if the whole world tries to pull you under. I’ll love you no matter what.”
His breath hitched, a tremor passing through him. He bowed his head, pressing his forehead to yours, lashes brushing your skin as his eyes slid shut. “You say that now,” he whispered. “But I’ve seen people turn away before. I’ve seen how easy it is to forget me,”
“Silly fish,” you whispered back, cupping his face in both hands. “I couldn’t forget you if I tried. You’re carved into me, Rafayel. You’re not going to lose me.”
For a long moment, he only breathed against you, his chest rising and falling as though he were trying to steady himself against the tide of your words. Then, with a soft, almost disbelieving laugh, he tilted his head to kiss you again. This time the kiss wasn’t soft or tentative — it was fierce, reverent, like he was drinking in your promise and sealing it into his soul.
When he finally drew back, he rested his hands at your waist, fingers splayed like he was anchoring himself. His smile returned, gentler now, though his eyes still shone with unspoken emotion. “You’ve doomed yourself, cutie,” he murmured, his tone laced with fondness. “You’ve gone and promised eternity to a man who refuses to let go.”
You laughed quietly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “Then I guess I’m doomed. But if it’s with you… I don’t mind.”
Rafayel’s expression softened to something so tender it made your heart ache. He kissed you once more, slow and deliberate, and when he pulled away, the ocean seemed to sigh with you, carrying your vow out into the endless night.
a/n: i hope i did this request justice😭 ngl i've been feeling uninspired lately and i've hardly written, i can't cook up for shit💔 hoping inspo strikes soon bc i want to write but i feel like i hate everything i type