lachesism , rafe cameron ( series ) 02
pairing ; brother's!bsf!rafe x kook!female!reader
content ; mdni !! outerbanks au, eventual smut, angst, violence, underage drinking, family issues, substance abuse, s/a.
summary ; rafe cameron is everything you can’t stand; reckless, infuriating, and too self-assured for his own good. as your brother’s best friend, he’s always been a constant presence, one you’ve done your best to ignore. but the tension between you has always simmered just beneath the surface, sharp and impossible to ignore. you’ve spent years resisting his pull, refusing to give him the satisfaction. but in a world where lines blur and control slips away, you’re forced to face the truth: rafe cameron isn’t so easy to hate after all.
status ; ongoing .ᐟ
✺ navigation ; 001. 002. 003.
TWO, reluctant waves.
THE HEAT WAS OPPRESSIVE.
the sun already climbing high in the sky when you and cora made your way out to the pool that morning. the kind of summer warmth that seemed to seep into every pore of your skin, making the air feel thick and heavy. you dipped a toe into the water, feeling the coolness spread up your leg, and sighed in relief. you had been trying to forget about the events of the night before, but the memory of rafe still lingered in the back of your mind, like a low hum you couldn't shake.
cora, on the other hand, was more than happy to let it all go. she had a way of pushing past discomfort, of embracing whatever came her way without a second thought. it was one of the things you admired about your best friend, though today, you just wished cora would let her wallow in peace.
"i swear, you need to just relax," cora said, tossing her towel over a chair and diving into the pool with a graceful splash. "you've been in your head all morning. let's just forget about everything."
you sighed again, letting your body slip deeper into the water. you could feel the coolness of the pool surrounding you, but it didn't do much to settle your mind. the night before, with its awkwardness and the whole rafe bullshit, still clung to your thoughts like a shadow.
as you swam a slow lap, you heard footsteps approaching the poolside. you turned, and there was carter, his usual grin plastered across his face.
"hey, guys," he called out, walking down the steps leading to the backyard with his usual ease. "how's the water?"
"perfect," cora answered immediately, floating on her back as she basked in the warmth of the sun.
not feeling as enthusiastic, you just gave a half-hearted smile.
"so," carter continued, leaning against the pool's edge, "i was talking to rafe, and we were thinking—why don't you two come with us today? we're taking the cameron's boat out. my druthers. gonna hit the ocean, do some swimming, a little drinking. the sun's out, so it's perfect boat weather."
your stomach churned at the mention of rafe. you hadn't exactly enjoyed the brief moments you'd spent together on the boat times before - especially considering how much he annoyed you on a regular basis. the idea of spending an entire day with him, stuck out on the water with no escape, was enough to make you cringe.
"i think i'll pass," you said quickly, your voice tinged with irritation. "i'm not in the mood for a crowd today."
cora shot you a look from the other side of the pool, her expression one of mock disbelief. "come on, del. you're not still pissed about last night, are you?"
you didn't answer right away, trying to push away the memory of rafe's obnoxious smirk and the way his presence seemed to fill up the room. but then again, you hated how he could just waltz in and do whatever the hell he wanted without a care for anyone else. you hated how, even after everything, he still managed to get under your skin from time to time.
"i don't really want to spend the day with him," you muttered, but cora wasn't having it.
"you seriously need a break," cora said, swimming closer and propping herself up on the edge of the pool. "it's a hot day, and you're not going to sit around here sulking. we can swim, have a few beers, and pretend we're on vacation for a day. you won't regret it."
you hesitated, the thought of being around rafe turning your stomach. but cora was right, you had been cooped up in your own head for far too long, and the idea of getting out, even just for a few hours, was somewhat appealing.
"fine," you sighed, though you still weren't happy about it. "but don't expect me to make small talk with him."
"deal," cora said, flashing her an impish grin. "and if he starts being a dick, you just leave him to me."
you nodded reluctantly. it wasn't like you could avoid rafe forever, even if you'd like to. you had to admit, the ocean and a few hours of sun might be a welcome distraction.
carter, who'd been listening in from the edge of the pool, grinned. "great, i'll text rafe and tell him to get everything ready. meet you guys at the dock in an hour?"
you gave a half-hearted nod as cora shot up out of the pool, practically bouncing on her heels with excitement.
"we'll be ready," cora said, a wicked glint in her eye as she swam back to the other side of the pool.
you just leaned back against the edge, closing your eyes for a moment. as much as you hated the idea of seeing rafe again, you couldn't deny that the idea of being out on the water was tempting. maybe it would be different this time. maybe being around him wouldn't make you want to throw him off the boat.
you were still trying to convince yourself of that when they got out of the pool, dried off, and threw on your cover-ups.
you only hoped you could make it through the day without letting rafe get under your skin again.
the drive to the docks was quiet, the air in the car thick with unspoken tension. cora kept glancing over at you with a smirk on her face, clearly enjoying how reluctant her best friend was to join the others on the boat. but you weren't going to let it bother you, not today. you needed a distraction, and as much as you hated the idea of spending time with rafe, you couldn't argue with the fact that the ocean and the sun were far better than staying cooped up at home.
when the two of you pulled up to the docks, carter was already waiting for you, his hand resting casually on the side of the boat. you took a deep breath, trying to suppress the anxiety bubbling in your chest. you'd made it this far, you could make it through a few hours on the water.
the boat was already crowded. rafe was lounging at the front, looking completely at ease, a beer in his hand and a lazy grin on his face. topper was sitting beside him, laughing about something, and ruthie - of course - was standing at the edge of the boat, her hands on her hips, looking as though she owned the place. your stomach churned. you couldn't stand ruthie. the girl had a way of making everyone feel small, and somehow, she always seemed to target you with her thinly veiled insults - not that they actually affected you.
"hey, you guys made it!" carter called, his voice cheery as he stepped onto the boat.
"yeah, we made it," cora answered, her tone light but with a small edge of humor. she turned to you, "you gonna come up here and say hi or what?"
you gave her a look before climbing aboard, greeting everyone with a stiff smile. topper waved, and kelce nodded from the other side of the boat, offering a friendly grin. but ruthie didn't acknowledge you at all. you weren't surprised.
you took a seat at the back of the boat, away from most of the others, and tried to relax. you didn't feel like dealing with ruthie's little comments, or rafe's relentless attitude. so, you kept your head down, chatting occasionally with kelce or topper when ruthie wasn't in earshot, and mostly just enjoyed the view of the water and the heat of the sun on your skin.
rafe, however, seemed to be watching you the entire time. you could feel his gaze on you, even when you weren't looking at him. it was unsettling, the way he seemed to stare, like he was trying to figure you out or maybe annoy you on purpose. and, in a way, it worked. your skin tingled where you knew his eyes were on you.
whenever your gaze would meet, rafe's smirk was always there, as though he were daring you to say something, to do something. but you didn't, you wouldn't. cora had warned him earlier, and she had made it clear to you that you didn't have to put up with rafe's bullshit. so you kept your distance, choosing instead to lie back and catch some sun, hoping the peace and quiet of the ocean would be enough to drown out the growing frustration you felt in your chest.
as the hours passed, the boat drifted farther out into the ocean, the sound of waves slapping against the hull the only noise besides their occasional chatter and splash when people decided to jump in. the heat started to fade, the sun beginning to dip low in the sky as they neared the time to head back to the docks.
you were stretched out on the deck, eyes closed, enjoying the peacefulness of the moment. the warm breeze brushed against your skin, and you let yourself get lost in the rhythm of the waves, trying to ignore the fact that rafe was still sitting there, watching you.
but as the sun started to set, rafe couldn't seem to let you be. he moved closer to you, leaning over the edge of the boat with that same cocky, self-assured grin. "you know, it's almost like you're trying to pretend i'm not here," he said, his voice mocking.
you opened one eye, giving him a flat stare. "maybe i am. it's kind of working."
rafe laughed, clearly unbothered. "you're not fooling anyone."
"neither are you," you shot back, not bothering to sit up. "you've been staring at me for hours."
his grin widened, and you could see the challenge in his eyes, the dare to push her buttons. "can't help it. it's not my fault you're so hard to ignore, you're always right there being annoying."
you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, trying to focus on something else. you turned your head away from him and closed both eyes, hoping he'd take the hint and back off. but no such luck.
"you know," rafe continued, leaning in even closer, his voice low and teasing, "you're really good at pretending to be all innocent. but we both know it's all an act. i've seen you when you're not around your parents."
your blood boiled. you opened your eyes and sat up, glaring at him. "shut up."
he raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the rise he was getting out of you. "you want them to think you're soo perfect, what? afraid they'll care for you even less if they knew what you were getting up to when they aren't looking?"
you gritted your teeth. you were done. "fuck off rafe." you snapped, standing up and walking toward the other end of the boat.
cora, who had been watching from the other side, saw the tension and shot rafe a look. but he just shrugged, his smirk never faltering.
you ignored him as you made her way to the side of the boat, staring out at the horizon. the sun had dipped lower, and the sky was a mix of orange and pink, the colours reflecting off the water. you needed this moment of peace, just for a little longer, before you had to deal with rafe again.
as they started heading back toward the docks, rafe stayed on the other side of the boat, wisely keeping his distance. but you could still feel his eyes on you, like a weight you couldn't escape.
when the boat finally got in, the sun had completely set. a dark hue of blue stilled in the sky. you wasted no time in getting the fuck off the boat, cora had to practically run after you.
"going so soon?" rafe called with a chuckle, you shot him the foulest look you could muster before walking back to the car. you were growing increasingly sick of his shit. sure, he'd acted like an ass in the past, for a while now, but it was seriously starting to effect you.
you weren't having it. the anger that had been simmering under your skin all day was bubbling over, and you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing it.
"hey, hold up!" cora called out, catching up with you just as you reached the car. she was out of breath but had that mischievous grin on her face that you knew all too well. "you really gonna let him get under your skin like that?"
"don't start," you snapped, unlocking the car and sliding into the driver's seat. you had no patience left, and honestly, you were done dealing with rafe for the day. "i'm sick of him, cora. he thinks he can just keep poking at me, like it's some kind of game. i'm not gonna stand for it anymore."
cora climbed into the passenger seat, shutting the door with a sigh. "look, i know rafe can be a lot—he's always like that, but you've got to stop letting him get to you. the more you react, the more he's gonna push. just ignore him, okay?"
you started the car, your knuckles white as you gripped the steering wheel. you knew cora was right. but how could you ignore him when he kept saying shit that got under your skin? every time he opened his mouth, it felt like he was digging at something deep inside you, something you didn't want to face.
"it's not that easy," you muttered as you backed out of the parking spot. the lights from the dock faded behind them, and you focused on the road ahead, trying to clear your mind.
cora stayed quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about how best to phrase her next words. "yeah, i get it. it's like he knows exactly where to push. but you can't let him have that power over you. seriously. you're better than that."
you didn't answer right away. you just drove in silence, the hum of the engine and the gentle swish of the tires against the road filling the space between them. you hated how much power rafe seemed to have over your emotions, even without trying. how every word from him made you feel small and defensive. you hated that he could make you feel so exposed, so vulnerable.
"you think i'm weak?" you asked suddenly, your voice quieter now, more subdued than before. you didn't look over at cora, but you could feel your best friend's gaze.
"what? no," cora replied quickly. "i don't think you're weak, not at all. it's just... with rafe, it's like he knows how to get to you. and that's frustrating, i get it. but letting him get under your skin isn't helping."
you pressed your lips together, feeling a knot tighten in your chest. "he makes me feel like i'm always on the edge of something, like i'm about to snap. and i don't even know why. i don't get it."
cora turned toward you, her eyes softening. "maybe it's because he sees you. in a way no one else does. like, he sees through all the walls you've built up around yourself. and it's fucking irritating, yeah. but it's also... real."
you blinked, momentarily thrown off guard by your best friend's words. "he doesn't see anything. he just likes to stir shit up."
"that's part of it, yeah," cora agreed, "but maybe he's more perceptive than you give him credit for. he probably sees the things you're trying to hide, i mean he hides a lot of shit himself... badly though-."
you felt a shiver run down your spine at the thought. you hated the idea that rafe might actually be onto something, might actually see the parts of you that you kept hidden from everyone else. your weaknesses. your insecurities. the cracks you tried to keep covered.
"i don't know," you muttered. "i just wish he'd leave me alone."
cora didn't respond immediately, and you didn't expect her to. what was there to say? that rafe wasn't going to stop being an asshole? that it was just a phase he was going through? you knew better. he was always like this, always pushing your buttons. and maybe, just maybe, it had nothing to do with you at all, it was just the way he was.
by the time they pulled into cora's driveway, the sky was fully dark, the stars scattered across the sky in a quiet, distant show. you put the car in park and sat for a moment, hands still on the wheel. the tension that had been with you all day didn't fade, but for the first time in a while, you weren't sure it would.
"thanks for the ride." cora finally said, her voice drained. "dont think too much okay? he's just some boy."
cora smiled sympathetically before getting out of the car and heading to her front door. you just gave her a reluctant smile back, watching her as she walked away before pulling out of the driveway and getting back on the road. your frustration still hung in the air, thick and suffocating even though the windows were open and the wind whipped through the car . you didn't know how long it would take to shake it off, if you could at all. But for now, you'd just put it out of your mind, at least for the night.
or you thought you could.
it was late, and there you were, laying awake in your cozy bed. nothing could get you to go to sleep, so you rolled over, pulled some tiny pyjama shorts on, grabbed the car keys and headed downstairs.
thankfully the rest of the house was sound asleep, you slid some slides on before quietly slipping out the front door and closing it.
there was only one way you knew for sure you could fall asleep, and unfortunately you had run out a little while ago. you hopped into your car with a sigh and put it into reverse, backing out of the driveway without the headlights on as quickly and quietly as you could.
once on the road, you shook your head slowly, looking at the road you were going on. only the cut had what you needed for your insomnia, only barry. you rapped your fingers on the steering wheel as you neared the trailer park, nerves gathering in your stomach and rising in your throat.
you parked your car a few metres away from the entrance of barry's place, took a deep breath before hopping out of the car and locking it as you walked towards his trailer. you noticed it to be 1:30am as you neared the door, turning the corner of the trailer you swallowed as you trudged up the metal steps and lightly rapped on the door.
it took a few seconds before you heard barry's voice respond, "yea? someone out there or sum'"
"yeah... barry it's y/n- uh, i know its late-" you began, barry swung the trailer door open and marvelled at you with a mischievous grin baring uneven teeth and the bold glint of gold catching the dim trailer light. rap music wafted out from inside the trailer, as well as the sound of someone else inside, sniffing.
"huh, mus' be my lucky night, not one but two of you country club types, come on in sweetheart" he grinned, turning around and walking back in. your brow furrowed slightly, someone you knew maybe? you couldn't place it for a second, but when the realisation hit you, so did the smell of his cologne.
"rafe." you rasped through gritted teeth, taking a deep breath as you then glanced over to a grinning barry. he was rifling through a cupboard, probably already grabbing what you were going to ask for. he was one of the few people that, weirdly, knew you well.
rafe lifted his head from the small powder-covered glass coffee table, sniffing vigorously with a frenzied gleam in his eyes, "funny seeing you here. you can get off your high horse now huh."
your jaw tensed, you knew rafe did drugs on occasion but cocaine on a sunday night? with no one but his drug dealer? you'd always looked past it when someone mentioned him having his vices, it never occurred to you it was actually this bad.
"i'm just getting pot rafe," you retorted, in an attempt to show him how unbothered you were in seeing him nose deep in a mountain of coke at nearly 2am on a now, monday morning. he chuckled a little, still leaning forward with that same gleam in his eye, but when he met your eyes the smile faltered.
you just stood staring at him, growing worry cinching her brows, barry's swift movements interrupted you as he slapped a baggy of weed on the tiny counter. your head snapped over to look at him, "the usual? 4 grams?"
"all there girly, shi' you can check if you want but all you'd be doin' is wastin' our time hmmm?" barry slurred, clearly far from sober as well, probably on something else. you slid the money over to him and he nodded at you with a grin. "you don' wanna blaze up here real quick? ain't like you got anywhere else to be at 2 in the mornin'" he said as he walked back over to rafe, dropping himself down on the worn built in couch seating.
you swallowed thickly, "need this for sleep.." you forced a casual smile, " 'sides, you don't have my lucky lighter here do you?"
barry laughed and shook his head as rafe watched on intensely, "can't say that i do girly, go on then, i'll see you whenever a'ight"
you plastered the sweetest false smile you could and gave him a single wave, calmly leaving the trailer and closing the door behind you before almost jogging back to your car.
you could hear footsteps pressing heavily on the gravel behind you as you sped up, soon yanking the driver's side door open when a hand stretched out against your back.
"y/n- shit, its just me, rafe. fuuuck, you're not even baked an' you're this paranoid?" he chuckled watching the colour come back into your face as you looked him dead in the eyes, angry now. you shoved him in the chest, nearly sending him toppling over backward at the surprise.
"what the fuck rafe! you annoy me? fine. you argue with me every chance you get? fine. you hate me? i hate you too- but don't you ever fucking sneak up on me like that! god!" you gasped, your hand on your head as if to check if you were alright. you looked at the ground as you paced on the spot.
his expression softened slightly, still a shit eating grin across his lips, "so-rry. jesus. look uh, i kinda needa ride home or somethin' its late as hell." he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. you looked at him intensely, he couldn't look you in the eyes, his pupils were all blown out and a thin coat of sweat cloaked his body.
"you idiot. you can't go back home like this, ward'll kill you if he sees you-"
"if he sees me" rafe grinned confidently. you rolled your eyes, "you're so coked out of your mind you dont realise how damn loud you're gonna be. and how damn high you're gonna be for hours rafe. you won't go to bed."
he scoffed a little, "ah- yeah shit, i didn't think about that uh.." you breathed deeply and squeezed your eyes shut. mere hours ago you were wishing to never see rafe, and now, now you were about to offer him sanctuary for once again being a fucking moron.
"okay, look, you can come back to my house. my parents are leaving in like an hour to go on some business trip for like two weeks so they won't see you if we wait a little while." you said, shaking your head momentarily, "however. carter.. he cannot fucking see you like this rafe. i know he doesn't know about the coke 'cause if he did, you wouldn't be coming around so often."
rafe nodded quickly, looking at the ground, "okay okay. so what we're just gonna sit in your car until your parents dip?"
your tongue darted to the inside of your cheek. this was never the plan.
"no. they can't see my car missing so we'll have to sneak up to my room and wait until they've left. but rafe i swear to god i have no problem leaving you here, nor letting my parents find you if you piss me off." you reluctantly said, crossing your arms over your frame.
he put his hands up in defense, "yeah ok ok, i get it narc. let's go then." you rolled your eyes at the name and gestured for rafe to go around to the passenger's seat before hopping into the driver's seat yourself.
the ride back to your house was silent. but not awkward silence, weirdly comforting silence, like a cool summer's night. your mind flicked back to what cora was saying hours ago about rafe seeing you. you glanced at him as he quietly looked out the window, fiddling with his fingers and tapping his foot, and you shook it off.
the two finally pulled up and were quietly stepping through the front door, you whispered over to rafe telling him to keep his shoes on, your parents were pretty perceptive about even minor things.
they stalked up the stairs slowly, you guiding rafe the entire way because of how tall and clumsy he proved to be while high. upon finally making it into your room, you sighed in relief and flopped down onto your bed, throwing the baggy of weed, your keys and your phone down with you.
rafe stood at the door and looked around, he'd never even once seen your room before. it was completely off limits to him, of course it was, you hated each other and you always knew it would be just another tool he'd try and use to make fun of you for. yet there he stood, gazing at the posters and photos on the walls and the vinyl records in the corner as well as at the salt lamp that illuminated the dark room with a dim orange.
you suddenly snapped out of it, realising that the one person you never thought would enter your safe space, was now finding safety in it himself. you braced yourself for some snarky comment about anything at all but he just continued to silently look around. your brow furrowed and you cocked your head to the side and gazed at him, was he somehow... nicer? high?
seconds went by before the sound of your parents quietly departing the house echoed off the walls. a sense of relief washed over you when you heard the front door close and finally their car start.
"you're in the clear. now shoo, go to the guest room you always stay in." you hissed in a low sharp tone. rafe's neck snapped and he looked you dead in the eyes before a tinge of sobriety, and clarity hit him.
he clenched his jaw, "yeah ok. bye."
as soon as your bedroom door shut, you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding in. your mind was racing a little, shock from the entire ordeal but mostly from the lack of annoyance and arguing that occurred. by the time you had settled yourself under the covers, you were sleepy enough to drift off. wondering if you pinched yourself, maybe you'd just wake up from this weird dream.
notes ; surpriiiise. double update.
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