#ragbros week

[ofbardsandmen]

tavern hobbies and a pride of an older brother | ragbros headcanon

kaeya draws on napkins in angel's share, and frankly, he's very bad at it, but he tries his best nevertheless. the themes he draws are usually birds in flight that he watches regularly all around mondstadt and that he used to see on his father's paintings when he was younger. he also draws plenty of bad stickman figures and attempted portraits of his friends, kof members and his estranged brother, with silly faces and oddly specific details unique to those people. diluc, on the other hand, can draw, in a way, but no longer indulges in it, but! he makes sure to collect every napkin kaeya leaves behind (unless kaeya decides to take it with him or gift it to someone in jest) and keeps them in a drawer behind the counter in the tavern. kaeya doesn't know about it, charles does, but he values his life over his amusement and keeps quiet about it.

diluc: nobody must ever know i hold these dear to me and fUCK this bastard for drawing me with an angry face every single time, i'll sHOW HIM my angry face-

[lushcowboy]

ragbros week day 2 - faraway land

process utc

[ofbardsandmen]

brother, tuck your shirt in, please. | ragbros headcanon

i thought about this for a long time, and ended up with the idea of kaeya being the tidy kid in the family, shirt tucked in his pants, hair brushed, tied and secured, shoes laced or buckled, everything in place. and why? because there were expectations to be met, comments to be avoided and prevented at all costs. kaeya could not let himself lack in anything. meanwhile diluc, a loose child, to say the least, sick and tired of rules and etiquette at times (most of the time), shirt always somehow tucked out or messily re-buttoned, even after crepus and adelinde's great efforts at making him look presentable for family's standards. hair a total red mess that exasperated kaeya to bits, but diluc couldn't bother caring for (except maybe once or twice a week when his brother forced him into caring for it, or insisted on taking care of it himself, because what would people think and say about that bird nest on diluc's head-). his jacket is elsewhere, his left glove missing, but all his less important belongings are somehow still attached to him, stuffed into his pockets or hanging from his belt. because, diluc, who was born into a leisure of life has never had to work to keep his appearance up and gain a certain amount of respect and acknowledgement, nor present himself in a certain, proper way, as to have some sense of belonging and some ability to join desired circles of people. instead, he inherited everything, and tho he certainly had a name to grow into, and a legacy to uphold, he ultimately struggled much less to grow into a place, a family, and his own skin. and thus, in kaeya's eyes, diluc could allow himself much more than he himself ever could.

[ofbardsandmen]

a penny for your tears? | ragbros headcanon

i daresay kaeya's actual biggest semi-irrational fear was (and is) people seeing him cry, no matter who the people in question were. nobody could see him in such a state, not even crepus or diluc. especially not crepus or diluc. he'd keep his tears for when he was alone, under his blankets or under his bed, in the cramped space of the wardrobe, or anywhere else he felt secure and secluded, and he'd keep them as quiet as possible as his thoughts and unresolved, uncertain feelings would overwhelm him. he'd cry when he missed home and wasn't sure what a 'home' is, when he missed his father and when he hated him, when he wished to find a place for himself and wished he weren't anywhere at all. crying, to kaeya, always meant weakness, always meant a facade not strong enough, not convincing enough, not stable enough, not enough!!! keeping an appearance was crucial to him and his day-to-day survival, so if he felt like expressing an emotion that didn't fit in the acceptable and expected category (in other words, an emotion that was anything but a positive one), he'd always choose anger, and he'd always choose to express it in private (if there were a choice to avoid the public tantrum), because being angry and frustrated never seemed to him like something nearly as weak or embarrassing as being sad and miserable, and it wasn't nearly as hard to explain or lie about. thankfully, over the years, his issue with emotional communication, while still ever-present, significantly changed and positively improved compared to the past.

as for diluc, i believe he was (and still somewhat is) an ugly crier that would wail and sob and choke on his tears and often forget to catch a breath (which would often result in tearful hiccups), and all in all, had little to no control over expressing his emotions. i believe kid diluc was someone who was very easy to read (which made kaeya's job that much easier) but that transparency also posed as his biggest disadvantage at times. if diluc happened to be displeased in any way, the frown on his face would be so very obvious, and he wouldn't even realize he's frowning until his cool and unbothered-looking younger brother would not-so-subtly address it. and yet, diluc was always convinced he could pull a mEAN poker face when needed, but that was only his delusion, because the all-telling eyes on his face, clenched jaw and gritted teeth were his true reality. if he were to yell, the yell would certainly be followed by tears, and he wouldn't even notice them streaming down his cheeks if it weren't for the snot clogging his nose and threatening to slide out. when hurt, he wouldn't hesitate to scream and cry immediately, and if the injury were anything more than a scratch, he'd begin to panic, and loud, incoherent sobs would definitely be heard.

headcanon continues here! just a click away!

[ofbardsandmen]

in my delusional head, diluc is the type to roll his eyes or click his tongue when his full name is said out loud in a conversation, i imagine he dreads the formality of it and would rather be called anything else. as of kaeya, his full name can only mean trouble or danger to him, and while he doesn't hide it, he dislikes hearing it come from another person's mouth.

[ofbardsandmen]

a penny for your tears? | ragbros headcanon part 2

headcanon starts here! just a click away!

kaeya, however, only allowed himself a wince, and he'd bite his tongue, his lip, the inside of his cheek or whatever needed to stop the pain from leaking out of the wound. he'd draw in his breath and keep the pain contained, and save the tears the trouble of flowing out. all because he couldn't let his injury be a burden on top of burdens to his caretakers, he couldn't allow himself to waste anyone's time or nerves on caring for him to that extent.

to clarify, kid diluc wasn't a regular crybaby though, in my eyes at least. he was an emotionally expressive kid, yes, but he knew when and how to suck it up, especially in front of important and watchful eyes of a crowd or certain specific people. sometimes he even felt like he had to hold his composure in front of his father, as to not disappoint him, embarrass him, and to uphold his image of a son a father can be proud of. anyone diluc admired and knew, be it a knight, a teacher, or his own father, had to think of him and see him as a strong, capable and brave boy, even if it meant faking it all at times. they had to see him as someone who doesn't stumble and fall easily, as someone who doesn't crumble under fear and pressure, someone who doesn't cry over a minor injury (like his brother). he couldn't let them see anything but his determination, strength and resolve, anything but honorable traits of a soon-to-be knight of favonius. so he had to brace himself and throw his fear aside when pride and image were at stake, and thus he gradually trained himself into enduring instead of succumbing.

and yet, my heart still warms for a slightly grown up kid diluc that says 'what do you mean i'm crying? i haven't cried since i was 3' as the tears slide down his cheeks.. (cries.. my silly boy)

[ofbardsandmen]

a heart's a heavy burden | kaeya, diluc and jean headcanon

i firmly believe kaeya had a crush on jean when he was a kid, at the very same time diluc did. however, diluc never voiced or admitted of his crush on her (and frankly, he didn't have to, as obvious as he was), but kaeya, obviously, noticed, and decided to keep in his brother's shadow and neither push him closer to jean (as to set him up with her, or create opportunities for them to get closer) nor try to turn him away from her. he decided it was more amusing to watch his older brother struggle on his own with his silly (and by god, rare) crush, never turning down an opportunity for amusement and bold teasing as he tried to get a verbal confession out of him. diluc eternally (and externally) remained in stage one: denial, while the internal truth leaped lively inside his heart. diluc was also most certainly a victim of provocations, such as 'if you don't give her this flower, i'll do it myself' which kaeya knew would pressure the redhead into actually doing it, and which resulted in diluc snatching said flower from his brother's hand and childishly speedwalking towards jean before kaeya could act upon his words (and gods knew he would if given the opportunity), leaving kaeya standing with a bittersweet smirk and childish jealousy on his face. kaeya never told anyone about his own crush, and hid it so well from the world as a treasure and a strange feeling that could never, yet could only ever belong to him. he hid it, sometimes even from himself, and forcefully suppressed it, as he felt he was in no place to harbor such emotions or take diluc's chances, so it eventually died out as everything else did. i don't think jean ever returned diluc's feelings - her view of him, i assume, was far too respectful and full of different kind of awe and admiration (especially during the knighthood days the three kids spent together), and so she always saw his acts and flirty attempts as mere acts of kindness and politeness, and him as a well-mannered boy. in contrast to kaeya's crush, everyone and their mother knew of diluc's 'secret' crush and crepus found it very amusing (he was against arranged marriage yet still entertained the idea of, in a way, uniting the two clans). he was fond of jean and pleased to know his son genuinely liked her. frederica certainly thought of the union and thought of diluc as a great option, tho i believe she always thought of kaeya as a more responsible brother and would let jean go anywhere as long as kaeya were there too. aside from his harmless troublemaking habits, i also believe she could see kaeya's outstanding intelligence and sense of reading people, situations and surroundings, as well as his constant caution much better than crepus could, so kaeya was, in a way, both a trustworthy friend and a safety measure for her daughter. he wasn't a second option for future arrangements though, he wasn't an option at all, for he was still an outsider in her eyes, a stranger, as good of a kid as he was. in any case, i also think kaeya had his moments with jean that differed from diluc's sweet (kaeya: you mean cringe) moments with her. so, as kaeya didn't necessarily try to get closer to her (as she could potentially be a lady reserved for the ragnvindr heir by blood - diluc), there were definitely very brief moments without diluc present in which kaeya tried to bond with jean the best he could without getting in his brother's way. but, being a kid that he was, he still wished, selfishly so, to satisfy his own heart's needs and cater to those strange emotions that confused him, even if he thought he had no right for it (my poor boy).

headcanon continues here! just a click away!

[ofbardsandmen]

a heart's a heavy burden | kaeya, diluc and jean headcanon part 2

headcanon starts here! just a click away!

so, during those moments in her presence, he'd discuss books with her, wisely sticking to intelligent topics he knew he had the upper hand in, he'd find out interesting and potentially secret things about her through his observation, conversation and his many curious and careful questions, he'd spar with her while diluc is in timeout and test her about things (for he found her very interesting and his newfound feeling so very strange), he'd let her (and only her) touch and braid his hair (to diluc's great displeasure and frustration), he'd make a flower crown and purposely refuse to teach diluc to do the same (little brat), and so on. during the knight days, he'd meet with jean in the kof library while his brother trained after hours and indulge into chit-chat, eavesdrop together with her on random whispers and conversations, listen to her knight-related (or any other) rambles and fanaticism, and would simply bask in her presence and enjoy her company.

disclaimer: for all these years i haven't yet figured out if i'm a fan of kaejean and jealuc or not, i just swear i love those sillies a normal amount-