Snippets of future chapters I have yet to write lmao.
-------------------------------------
Kaeya stared at the paper in front of him in horror.
Adoption. No, no, hold on. It wasn't supposed to go this far. He wasn't— He can't—
He can't be family. Not like this. Referring to Diluc as his brother, calling Master Crepus his father— That's different. It's different because it wasn't real. It was just verbal.
He raised his head to see expectant pairs of eyes staring back at him. Warm and hopeful eyes.
Kaeya can't do it. He can't do it he can't he can't—
How was he supposed to turn on them? On people who had done nothing but love him since the second he fell into their arms? Held on so tightly that Kaeya forgot what it felt like to be alone?
“You can't take this back,” Kaeya whispered. He couldn’t cry, he shouldn't. But there's no denying the ache he feels and his steadily blurring vision.
He could see both their smiles slowly dim.
“What do you mean?” Crepus asked, voice no louder than his own.
Kaeya could feel his hands shaking when he took an unsteady inhale. “You— It’ll make it difficult,”
Crepus never stopped staring at him with those gentle and loving and so unfairly patient eyes.
“I'm… afraid I'm not following, bug. What do you mean?”
Kaeya felt himself grow unreasonably angry. Don't they get it?! Can't they see it?! He's not supposed to be here! They don't deserve to have someone like him carrying their name. Why can't they understand that?!
The leather gloves felt thin beneath his nails.
“It'll be harder to get rid of me. If— If you regret it, you can't just throw me out,” Kaeya blurted out, his eye losing more visibility by the second. “I— I mean you can, but you could get in real trouble. You can't take this back,” he finished desperately. They have to understand.
If— when. When? If? What is he talking about— When he turns his back on them, they'll realize what a mistake this was. They'll regret ever even offering, he just knows it. So he has to make them understand right now. If they don't… If they're offering,
Kaeya can't refuse. He knows he should, a good person would. A good person would deny it because they know the burden that comes with harbouring something like him.
But Kaeya isn't a good person. He's cruel, he's cold, he's selfish. He can't refuse.
Because he wants to be Crepus's youngest son, he wants to be Diluc's baby brother, he wants to be able to enroll into the knights with Jean, he wants to stay in the manor during winter, spring and summer, he wants to stay in the winery during autumn; harvesting grapes with Crepus, sneaking a few of them as snacks with Diluc.
He wanted to blurt it all out; his purpose, his lies and secrets. But Kaeya, above all else, is a coward.
Which is why he kept silent when he felt two pairs of arms engulf him.
“There are a lot of things I have done wrong in my lifetime, Kaeya. I can assure you that this will never be one of them,” Crepus whispered in his hair.
“Y– You,” Kaeya took in a gasp, voice breaking in a way he never knew it could. “You can't promise that,”
“I can. I am. Nothing could ever make me regret this,” He held Kaeya tighter. Kaeya felt Diluc's arm around him tighten too. “...That is… if you're willing,”
“We can join those sibling races without having to fight the stall owner anymore! Come on, Kae!”
This is betrayal to his birth family. He's turning his back on them. If he accepts this, what kind of son would that make him? To abandon his old family, and to know he'll eventually betray his new one. One cannot coexist with the other, it just simply isn't possible. Yet somehow, Kaeya feels like he's choosing neither.
But through all of the gnawing guilt,
Kaeya nodded frantically, letting out a choked sob he could no longer suppress. “I do. I want to. I want to be—”
“Then you will,” Crepus whispered. Kaeya could feel the growing smile on Crepus's face, just like he could feel Diluc practically vibrate with excitement.
“Welcome to the family, Kaeya. Officially,”
For the first time in his decade of life, Kaeya let himself wail with no restraint.
