Jun 18, 2023
i don’t have the energy for a full fic but the idea is too good not to share. please imagine an Alfreyco au, mr and mrs smith style
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Romania
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Romania
i don’t have the energy for a full fic but the idea is too good not to share. please imagine an Alfreyco au, mr and mrs smith style
aliciaforferris replied to your post “Myan just being dads. Please, I have a craving and there's only like 3...”
Listen, there's a reason that "accidental baby acquisition" is a goddam classic fanfic trope!!
Yessssss! Oh my God, yes! I’m such a sucker for it because usually clueless dorks (with or without Pining) plus cute baby make for the best shenanigans.
Also, though, ones where they’re not so clueless about baby/kid things and just. Yes. XD
Ngl, I was super tempted to do this in a FAHC AU?
Ryan with surprise!baby that has him retiring somewhere and Michael as a civilian - and conveniently next door neighbor - and then ridiculous Pining and domestic shenanigans and Ryan goes from being unsure of quitting the criminal life to actually being happy with his ~boring life. (Also, also, the others stopping by to visit or movin in nearby after their own retirements and being like. !!! at seeing Ryan all happily settled down with a baby - that’s new? - and also this Michael character and ensuing shenanigans.
OR.
Ryan with surprise!baby and him fucking off somewhere without really telling the crew why, and Micahel who’s angry/annoyed and wants to know why Ryan up and left. (The two of them dancing around one another for years and just when he thought it might not all be in his head/a one-sided thing Ryan leaves and he just. Wants to know what he did to fuck up or if Ryan wasn’t interested or what. Just a little closure you know? But then a haggard looking Ryan - barefaced and all, aside from the scruff and whatnot - answers his door and there’s a baby in his arms and spit-up on his shoulder and what the fucking Christ is this, Haywood?
And then Michael just kind of moving in to help out once he realizes Ryan got himself in a mess - a freaking baby, wtf? - and never leaves and also definitely mutual pining and oblivious idiots until they’re not.
(The rest of the crew being curious and go looking for the two of them and then it turns into my favorite happy ending for these assholes where they ~retire to form a commune of former criminals and idiots and nothing hurts.)
...not to ramble on or anything. /o\
Happy 5 Birthday Fuck Yeah RT Fanfic!
What a year its been, so many ups and downs! And it’s been a year where not a lot has changed blog-wise.
We brought back Scarefest which was a huge success! I hope this year will be just as amazing! We gained a few mods, we lot a few mods, we might be gaining more in the future here...we’ll see ;)
I would like to give a huge shout out to all 6,484 of you that follow us. Some of you are new, some of you are old time followers, but we appreciate each and everyone of you! I can’t wait for more of you to come, and I hope you all find what you’re looking for here c:
If you want to drop by our Discord today, or any day in the future feel free to! We have a permanent link here for your pleasure! We love meeting new people c:
I won’t bore you guys with much more. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and thank you so much again for making this blog what it is today
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Hey-o, more than halfway done
No Grey - Freewood- Chapter 13
Summary: Ryan is sent to capture the crowned prince of Achevia, and it’s surprisingly easy. The people are fools and their prince is an idiot. The journey back may not be as easy as the capture, but he has to make it back and claim his reward. No matter how attached the the idiot he may become.
Notes: JUST AS A WARNING, there's a part later that dances on the border of Dub-con. Nothing explicit happens, but it's a little rough, and I didn't want anyone to be caught off guard.
Also, huge, huge, HUGE shout out to hyzenthleia who edited this bad boy for me, and was just all around a huge help in getting this chapter into pristine shape.
And, as always, a shout out to ludomoose who listens to my crazy Skype rants at all hours of the day or night and keeps me sane. <3
This will be the last chapter from Gavin's POV.
Hope you enjoy it! <3
A03
The journey went far quicker than Gavin would have hoped. Still, he couldn't lament it too much as the smell of blood kept nagging at his nose and threatening to send him gagging.
He tried to keep up a steady stream of small talk with Adam to keep the man awake, but the man only responded with short, one word answers. The longest string of words he heard the whole trip was when, in a moment of silence, he muttered a barely audible, “fucking Joel. "
"Whose Joel? "
"A stupid fucking asshole," he muttered.
Gavin gave up asking questions after that.
He kept the horse at a steady pace, going as fast as he dared without jostling Adam onto the ground. Ryan led his horse beside them, and Gavin ignored the way the man tried to catch his eye. He was surely just trying to glare at him, and Gavin wasn’t going to give him the chance.
The sun had barely moved from its position in the sky before they were breaking through the tree line into an open valley with a large wooden cabin in the center. The prince took a moment to look over the gorgeous cabin, while Ryan tied both of their leads to the porch.
It was newer house, probably only built in the last few years, and it was put together with such detail that Gavin couldn’t help but admire it. It reminded him of the hunting cabin where the royal family would spend the summer at, and he did his best to ignore the pang of hurt that tugged at his heart at the memory. Geoff and him, wrestling in the waist deep pond, Griffon egging them on from the sidelines, while Michael screamed at the both of them to knock it off before he was finally dragged into the fight as well.
He physically shook his head to try to chase away the memory, only to find Ryan standing beside him, with a worried tiilt to his eyebrows.
Gavin gave him a blinding smile, and his captor quickly looked away and towards the injured man on his back.
“Hold the horse still, I’ll get him,” Ryan grumbled.
Gavin frowned, but did as he was told while Ryan helped the half-conscious man down to the ground. The prince quickly scrambled after them, while Ryan slung Adam’s arm over his shoulder and slowly started dragging him towards the door.
Gavin buzzed around them, reaching his hands out like he wanted to help, but Ryan’s glare made him keep his distance. He opened the door for them, wincing when Adam’s injured shoulder grazed the side of the frame and he let out a hiss of pain.
When he turned to take in the inside of the house, he froze mid step. If he thought the outside was gorgeous, it had nothing on the inside. The furniture was all expertly crafted, made with fabrics that could rival the quality of some from the palace.
He shared a surprised look with Ryan over the top of Adam’s slumped head, though when the man let out a pained moan, Gavin fought down the urge to comment.
Ryan carefully laid the man down on the couch in the center of the room, moving some pillows to prop up his head before taking a step back. A soft meow startled them both as a small cat bounded down the stairs heading straight for the man lying on the couch.
“Solaire,” Adam cried out, as the cat skidded past Ryan and climbed along the edge of the couch, whining down at the injured man. He slowly lifted his arm to pet the top of her head. “Glad you’re okay, sweetie.”
Ryan and Gavin shared another look.
“What now?” Gavin asked, and the withering look that Ryan sent him had him fighting down a nervous giggle.
Ryan’s eyebrows knotted down in concentration, glaring at Gavin then back at the injured man who was currently cradling the small kitten to his non injured shoulder, as he weighed his options.
“Thanks for your help, but I’ll be fine,” Adam mumbled. “I’m just glad Solaire’s okay.”
Gavin held his breath.
Suddenly, Ryan’s shoulders slumped, and he made a point to avoid looking at the prince as he turned to Adam. “Do you have any herbs?”
Adam looked like he wanted to argue, but after a pause he waved vaguely in the direction of the small pantry off to the side of a small dining table.
“Anything to cover the wound?” Ryan asked, making his way towards the pantry.
“There’s some undyed linen in a trunk upstairs,” he mumbled after a moment.
Ryan nodded, pointing towards the stairs. “Go get it, idiot.”
Gavin rolled his eyes, but quickly bounced up the stairs, going in the first door he found. His eyes once again widened when he took in the large wooden post bed, draped in thick, luxurious furs. He fought down the urge to stare as he quickly searched through the chests that lined a large windowed wall until he found a bundle of off-white linen.
He gave the bed one last look, before he bounded back downstairs.
Ryan was searching through the pantry cabinets with a determined gaze, glass bottles full of different types of herbs tucked under one arm. He suddenly let out a small celebratory sound and pulled out a large jug of what Gavin was sure was ale.
Before Gavin could open his mouth to ask, Ryan was already ripping the linen’s out of his hand and settling himself in beside the injured man.
Gavin watched, silent, until Ryan began to tear at the bloodied rags still clinging to the wound, and he turned away, gagging.
“If you’re going to throw up, just go outside,” Ryan said, giving him a withering look.
Gavin started to argue, but the smell of blood was finally starting to get to him. Instead, he just nodded and slowly made his way towards the front door.
“This is going to hurt,” he heard Ryan say, when he’d turned his attention back to the injured man, uncorking the bottle of ale.
“Nice change of pace, then,” Adam grumbled, and Gavin was delighted to hear Ryan let out a small chuckle.
When Adam let out the first hiss of pain, Gavin scattered out the front door. He wanted to watch, he did, impressed and touched at how Ryan was going out of his way to help the injured man, but his stomach just couldn’t allow it. His stubborn pride was the only thing that had kept him from throwing up before, as the smell of blood clung to him the whole way here, but he wasn’t going to make it much longer in the room.
Speaking of, he quickly ripped his top off, glad to finally be free from the blood that had soaked through his shirt. He quickly searched the area and broke into a giddy run when he found his prize: a well.
When he finally returned to the house, after stretching his now soaked but clean shirt across the porch railing to dry, he was excited to find the smell of blood had been replaced with the rich scent of herbs.
Ryan was still sitting on the edge of the couch, grinding a mixture into a small bowl before placing it down on the small table beside him.
Gavin let a sad smile tilt his lips as the image of Griffon standing in the kitchen, busy cooks bustling around her, while she crushed a flower in a small bowl, swam before his eyes.
(“It’s just something to help Geoff sleep,” she’d told him, while he watched, entranced. “Have you never seen people use herbs before?”
Gavin shook his head.
She scoffed. “I’ll take you out the garden tomorrow. Everyone should at least know some simple herbal remedies.”
“Is it like a potion?”
She laughed, not mocking like Geoff’s would be, before reaching over to ruffle his hair until he pulled away. “Sure, in a way.”)
Gavin cautiously tiptoed over beside him as the blonde began to apply the mixture to his fingers. “What are you doing?”
“Just something to stop the bleeding.”
“How do you know how to do that?” Gavin asked in awe.
Ryan scoffed, not looking away from his patient. “How do you not?”
Gavin rolled his eyes, ignoring Adam’s stilted laugh at his expense, but didn’t argue. Griffon had spent years trying to teach him simple remedies, but none of it had ever managed to stick. He just didn’t have the mind for it, really.
While Ryan set about wrapping the wound up, Gavin moseyed around the small kitchen. Finding the kettle Ryan had used for his herbs, he poured fresh water in it from a jug near the door and set about making them some tea.
“There’s not much else I know to do, unfortunately,” he heard Ryan telling Adam, while Gavin set the tea down to let it steep. “It’s not too deep a cut, but an actual doctor would be far more helpful.”
Gavin wandered back over to the couch in time to see Adam shake his head.
“No doctor in town,” he mumbled. “I’ll be fine, ‘ve had worse. Just need to sleep it off.” His eyes were already drooping considerably while he spoke, his words slurring with drowsiness.
Ryan nodded. “If you’re sure.”
Adam shifted against the couch, closing his eyes, before he waved his free hand in their direction. “Just be quiet while you’re robbing me blind, okay?” he said casually.
Gavin stiffened, eyes widening as he stared at the back of Ryan’s head, instantly worried about the man’s reaction.
“Don’t worry,” Ryan replied, “we’ll leave you some ale behind.”
There was a silent moment that stretched between them, before Adam let out soft laugh and slapped Ryan on the shoulder.
“You’re a good man.”
Gavin smiled, lifting his hand to cover his mouth when he saw Ryan started to turn towards him. He took a moment to soak in his captor’s embarrassed look, before the older man’s face went still with shock.
The prince’s grin faded as he watched Ryan’s eyes trail down from his face to his chest, and it was only when a slight red tinge started to cover the tops of Ryan’s cheeks that Gavin remembered he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
His face turned as red as Ryan’s.
“O-oh, um, I washed my shirt,” he stuttered out, his mouth suddenly not wanting to cooperate. He felt light headed, as Ryan’s eyes continued to rake over him. “Cause of the blood and what’not. I left it on the porch to dry.”
“You can borrow one of mine,” Adam offered, his eyes still closed, oblivious to the sudden tension that had sprung up between the two men.
“T-thanks,” Gavin said, awkwardly stumbling up the stairs, and leaving the heat of Ryan’s gaze at his back.
When he returned, freshly draped in a far too large cloth top, that smelled an awful lot like cat, Ryan was rummaging through the cabinets once more.
“You aren’t seriously planning on robbing him?” Gavin whispered, appalled, glancing over at Adam who was softly snoring away on the couch.
Ryan snorted, his eyes only briefly looking over at the prince, before darting quickly back to the pantry. “I’m trying to fix something to eat.”
Gavin froze at the bottom of the stairs, slowly raising an eyebrow, while Ryan studiously avoided looking at him. “We aren’t leaving?” he blurted out.
Ryan stopped his digging to turn and give the prince a dry look. “I’m sorry, are you in a rush?”
Gavin shook his head, fighting down a blush before he rushed over to pour the tea that had left to steep.
“I figured you would want to stick around long enough to make sure he wasn’t going to die. I’d hate to have to listen to your whining for the rest of the trip.”
The prince huffed, glaring at the back of Ryan’s head.
“It can’t hurt to give the horse a night to rest as well. We can leave first thing in the morning.”
Gavin rolled his eyes, pouring out a cup of tea for himself and Ryan. If the other man wanted to pretend like he wasn’t stalling to get the prince back to Roosteria, that was just fine. He had a plan, and this would just give him one more night to put it into action.
The prince quickly smothered the smirk that had twisted his lips, taking his cup of tea over to the dining table and sitting down. Gavin let the memory of their kiss, and the way Ryan's eyes raked over his bare chest, flow through him and gather heat, as he thought of how to best take advantage of the gift of an extra night. He watched over the rim of his cup as Ryan bustled around the kitchen. As much as the other man tried to hide it, there was an awkward stiffness to his movements as if trying too hard to seem normal.
This would be too easy.
"I told you I was a good judge of character.”
Ryan’s shoulders stiffened for a second, before rolling right back into motion, but he didn’t respond. Not that it mattered, Gavin thought smugly. Not with the good humor and blind trust the injured man had shown them - not to mention the picture he made sprawled on his back snuggling a small kitten to his chest- Ryan couldn’t really argue.
"So, where did you learn about herbs?"
He was silent just long enough for Gavin to begin to worry. Dread had just began to seep into his heart, when Ryan finally replied.
“My mother,” he whispered, hesitant.
The prince should’ve been worried at how quickly the dread flew from his heart. How just two words, begrudgingly given, from the man could make him such a thrilled jolt run through him, but he couldn’t help it.
“Griffon tried to teach me when I was younger, but it just never seemed to stick. I thought it would be pretty fascinating, like standing over a cauldron and changing people into cows, but it was mostly just memorizing plants.” He scrunched his nose up. “I’ve just never been good at paying attention to boring stuff like that.”
Ryan snorted. “Surely not, can’t imagine that.”
“Oi,” Gavin protested, but there was nothing but good humor behind it. “It’s not my fault that stuff is boring.”
Ryan snorted again.
“It’s not like I’m stupid. This one time Geoff bet me I couldn’t memorize all the lords’ house sigils in a week, and I did!”
Ryan laughed. “There are very few people who couldn’t accomplish that in a week if given the right motivation.”
“Do you know how many houses there are in Achievia?” Gavin protested.
“Knowing you, I’m assuming four?”
Gavin gasped dramatically.
“Oh, I’m sorry, five?” Ryan mocked.
“Oi, Rye, you’re awful.”
They bickered happily for a while, and soon Gavin found himself regaling Ryan with various stories from his childhood at the castle. Ryan eventually joined him at the table as he waited for his broth to cool. He listened intently, occasionally inserting comments or teasing Gavin, but didn't offer up any stories of his own, the prince couldn’t help but notice.
They only stopped when Ryan took a moment to wake Adam up encouraging him to eat as much of the broth as he could. Gavin didn't even try to keep the fond smile off of his face as he watched Ryan help the other man sit up and eat.
Ryan tried to convince the man to let him help him upstairs to the bed, but Adam just waved him off.
"Nah, I'll be fine.”
When Ryan made his way back to the table, finally digging into his own bowl, Gavin gave him a wide grin. His captor quickly averted his eyes to his food.
"What's the capital of Roosteria like?" Gavin asked nonchalantly.
To his surprise, Ryan answered him without hesitation.
Ryan went into great detail about the tall, spiraling buildings, and the small, paved streets that were constantly packed to the brim with people. His words matched the stories Gavin had heard all his life, but he was still unable to truly imagine it. Even for a capital, Achievia was still rather provincial, and Thame had been a small port city. Large, crowded, cities like Roosteria City were beyond his scope of imagination.
As soon as Ryan became self conscious about his impassioned description and went silent, Gavin took a gamble.
“Were you planning on staying in the capital?”
Ryan went tense. “Most likely,” he answered guardedly. “For a while, at least.”
Gavin looked down at the table. “Do you think you’ll be able to come visit me?”
The prince waited for a breath, before he finally raised his eyes to meet Ryan’s.
In retrospect, he wasn’t sure exactly what he was hoping for in the other man’s response. Maybe guilt, or even anger as he remembered the timid kiss he’d received in the forest just that morning.
Nothing could have prepared him for the pained, almost anguished look that was directed back at him.
Gavin quickly looked away, as he grasped onto a new subject like a dying man. He jumped around rambling on this and that, his nervous chatter filling the room until he finally gained the courage to meet Ryan’s eyes again. Luckily, the pained look had faded away.
They slowly eased back into their easy conversation, though Gavin would catch his captor staring off to the side, as if in deep contemplation, and the prince would have to fight the urge to frown.
When they were finished eating, Ryan crossed the room to check on Adam, and Gavin took the chance to retrieve his shirt from the porch. He was pleased to find that it was mostly dry, and the soaps he’d found out by the well had completely done away with the noxious smell. He quickly ripped Adam’s far too large shirt over his head, and flung it over the banister.
He slid his arms into his shirt, stopping for a second to admire the vision of the sun setting behind the tree line. The mixture of orange and blue hues left him breathless for a moment, and he stood in place letting himself enjoy the gorgeous view.
If his plan didn’t succeed, it might be one of the last ones he saw for a while, he thought suddenly. He sighed, shaking his head to push the depressing thought away, before finally lifting his arms up to finally start to slide his shirt down over his head.
He jumped when he heard a strangled sound from behind him. He spun his head around in time to see Ryan standing halfway out the door, his hand tightly grasping the door frame and his mouth slightly agape.
“What?” he squawked, immediately lowering his arms still wrapped in his shirt, and spinning slightly to try to look on his back.
Ryan’s face went blank, and he shook his head. “Is there any particular reason why you’re standing outside naked?”
Gavin huffed. “I’m not naked you sausage! I was just putting my shirt back on.” As soon as he finished his sentence, he finally seemed to put two and two together and his lips slid into a smile. He slowly turned his back to Ryan, pulling his arms forward to make it look as taut as possible, before he drawled slowly, “You like what you see, though?”
Ryan huffed. “Please.”
Still, when he crossed in front of Gavin and down the porch steps, his eyes were determinately looking anywhere else but at the prince.
Gavin giggled to himself, before finally pulling his shirt over his head. “Where are you going?”
“To stable the horses,” Ryan grumbled, crossing the yard to where they had haphazardly tied the horses up earlier.
“Ah,” Gavin quipped. “Don’t take too long, it’s gonna be dark soon.” Ryan gave him a strange look, but Gavin just smirked back at him, and dropped his voice to a deep drawl. “And I’d hate to have to lay in that big bed all by myself.”
Ryan stumbled slightly, and Gavin bit his lip to keep from laughing.
“See you upstairs, Rye,” he drawled, before turning on his heel and marching inside.
Gavin checked once more on Adam, before he began searching the room for something to cover him with. He snorted at the man’s loud snores that followed him around the room. He dragged a large quilt from a chest underneath the stairs, only taking a second to suspiciously admire the fine quality, before he draped it across the sleeping man.
Solaire let out a small meow, before crawling over to settle on top of the quilt over Adam’s chest. Gavin smiled, before he skipped up the stairs to the lavish bedroom he had seen before to wait for Ryan.
Gavin should’ve been embarrassed at how much he jumped around the room trying to decide on how to place himself for Ryan to find him. He briefly tossed about the idea of striping, and letting him walk in to find Gavin, naked and sprawled out atop the lush furs that covered the gorgeous bed. The thought of the look on Ryan’s face alone, had him idly toying with the drawstring holding up his pants. He quickly shook his head. No, he needed a softer touch than that.
He ended up bouncing around the room, unashamedly digging through Adam’s belongings - “Who owns this many furs?” he mumbled to himself - while he tried to burn through his nervous energy.
It didn’t seem to help, however, as the more time passed, the more nervous he became. Surely, it didn’t take this long to tie up a few horses. Throw some hay at them, maybe a carrot or two, and then he should have been out of there. But as the sun began to sink further behind the horizon there was still no sign of the man, and Gavin began to swim in his doubts.
Maybe he’d been reading this wrong?
No. He’d felt the man’s passion when they kissed. He’d seen him go red in the face from just a few small glimpses at Gavin shirtless. His easy banter over dinner, the way he’d stumbled when Gavin had mentioned the bed. The pained look on his face.
Ryan wanted him. Just as much as he wanted Ryan. And now they had this gorgeous bed all to themselves, in a cabin deep in the woods, far from any town or main road where they were likely to be found.
Yet here he sat, waiting.
When the sun finally set, plunging the room into darkness, he let a single candle on the nightstand, ignoring the way his hands shook. He finally slid onto the bed, propping himself up against the headboard, and sighing petulantly.
As if his sigh willed the sound into existence, he heard the front door downstairs slam shut. He stiffened, before he lept into action. He quickly moved into position, sprawling himself, hopefully invitingly, out across the furs, and loosened the strings across the top of his tunic so the top of his chest was open to the air.
He was just fluffing his hair into place when he heard the sounds of Ryan’s boots slowly ascending the stairs.
When Ryan finally opened the door, Gavin couldn’t have been happier with his reaction. His captor froze in place halfway through the entrance way, his hand still on the door. His gaze slowly moved over Gavin’s prone form, his eyes widening slowly as he took in the whole picture.
“Hey, Rye,” Gavin said with a smile.
Ryan suddenly seemed to snap out of his trance. “Really?” he said, snorting and rolling his eyes.
“Really, what?” Gavin teased, before stretching his arms above his head as he faked a yawn. He didn’t even have to look to know that Ryan’s eyes had to be frozen on the small sliver of skin he’d revealed when his shirt had ridden up.
But when he did look, Ryan’s face wasn’t filled to the brim with lust like he’d hoped, nor were his cheeks dusted with the red, embarrassed tint like before. His mouth was pulled into a taught line, but his eyes were blank of any sort of passion. He seemed almost, bored.
Gavin felt something flip in his stomach, and worry started to fill him, but before he could even articulate his fears into a concise thought, Ryan was speaking.
“Is that the best you’ve got?”
Gavin’s breath caught in his throat. “W-what?”
Ryan snorted, finally fixing his cruelly, bemused eyes on the prince. “All this time, and the best plan you could come up with is to fuck your way to freedom?”
“What?” Gavin repeated, in a whisper this time.
Ryan huffed, pulling his shirt over his head, and flinging it to the ground. “Well, let’s see what you’ve got,” he said, casually, before falling down on the bed onto his knees and starting to climb towards Gavin.
The prince jerked up, scrambling backwards until his back hit the headboard. “Woah, Rye, what are you-”
“What’s wrong, your highness?” Ryan teased, climbing leisurely forward until he towered over the prince. Gavin pushed at his chest weakly, his confusion sapping his strength, but Ryan didn’t budge.
“This was your plan, wasn’t it?” Ryan said, leaning over him with a bemused smirk. “To prove you’re such a good lay that I’d throw away a mountain of gold, and lands, and a title just for the chance to have you once?”
“No!” Gavin pleaded, digging his hands into Ryan’s tunic. “I told you, I wanted us to-” When Ryan’s smirk faded into thin slit, Gavin couldn’t even finish his sentence. His captor’s cold eyes, and casually cruel words made the ‘run away together’ die on his tongue.
“Please, not your sob story again,” Ryan huffed.
Gavin heart throbbed painfully away in his chest.
“I’ve got everything in the world, but it’s not ‘nough,” Ryan mocked in a gaudy parody of Gavin’s accent. “Surely you don’t think I’m that big of an idiot,” Ryan continued, and every word was like a new cut against his skin. “Burnie warned me, you know, that you were smarter than you appeared. I wonder how many other would-be captors you’ve fooled with the doe-eyed innocent look and pitiful little story. How far would we have made it before you left me high and dry in some inn while you high tailed it back to your brother?”
“No!” Gavin choked out, and the word was dangerously close to a sob. “I meant everything-”
“Even you’re not that naive,” Ryan said casually.
Gavin felt his breath ripped from his lungs. All of his dreams of traveling the world with the other man swam before his eyes, before breaking apart into tiny little shards.
Ryan leant forward like he meant to kiss the prince, but Gavin’s hands on his chest stopped him.
“I thought this is what you wanted?” Ryan said, mockingly.
Gavin wanted to cry. Or scream. Or just curl into a ball and wither away. He pushed feebly at Ryan’s chest once more, as he realized that he - maybe for the first time - finally understood what the phrase, ‘playing with fire’, meant.
“No,” he said weakly, before adding a little more forcibly, “this is definitely not what I want.”
Ryan snorted, immediately rolling off him and to the other side of the bed. “Not as fun when I’m on to your plan is it?”
Gavin didn’t move, shock freezing him in place. Even when Ryan leant over to blow out the candle and plunge them into darkness, Gavin stayed still.
“We’ll leave first thing in the morning, I suggest you get some sleep,” Ryan told him offhandedly, before turning his back to Gavin and apparently settling in.
Despair flowed through Gavin like poison through his veins, flushing out the last traces of hope that he’d been clinging to, as suddenly every single snub of his intelligence that had been used to describe him over the years seemed to hit home.
He really was an idiot.
Memories of Ryan’s smile and teasing glances tried to swim into his thoughts, but he forcefully drove them away. He couldn’t deal with that right now. The man had made his position clear and Gavin really only had one option left.
He pushed away the hurt, and the anger that was fighting to bubble up, and let nothing but cold determination wash over him. If Ryan thought he was going to lie here all night, licking his wounds before letting himself be dragged off to Roosteria, he was going to have a rude awakening in the morning.
Gavin rolled over to face away from his captor. He slowed down his breathing, counting to four between each breath, and waited.
He listened intently, but it wasn’t long before his captor’s breathing slowed, and even a shorter time still when Gavin could finally hear him letting out soft, almost inaudible, snores.
Moving cautiously, every limb filled with nervous tension, he carefully pulled himself from the bed, and tiptoed over to the door to pry it open as slowly as possible. Afraid to look back in case he lost his nerve, he kept his eyes forward, before scampering down the stairs, scrambling past Adam’s prone form on the couch, and scurrying out the front door.
He burst into a run in the yard, finally not worried about making too much noise, and headed straight for the stables. He slowed down once inside, beating down the adrenaline pumping through his veins, in favor of not spooking the horses.
He nearly let out of grateful sob when he noticed that while Adam’s horse was bare, their stolen horse - Horatio, he thought stubbornly - was still saddled, a large sack tied to the side. Ryan must have planned on them having a quick departure in the morning, he thought, ignoring the swift pain the thought caused him.
Moving swiftly, conscious of the fact that Ryan could come barreling through the door at any second, he grabbed Horatio’s lead and led him out the pen and into the narrow corridor. He bit down an excited squawk when he noticed Ryan’s bow and quiver hanging from a hook near the door. He immediately pulled them down looping the strap to the quiver around his chest and tying it as tightly as his trembling fingers would allow, and loosely throwing the bow over his arm.
What an idiot, he thought with a snort, before he scrambled over to the horse and slid his foot into the stirrup, gripping the horn tightly and pulling himself up.
Gavin was halfway into the saddle before he realized he was putting all his weight on his bad leg. It had been holding up fine, but apparently the strain from the last day had finally caught up to him and pain suddenly flared through him. His ankle gave out and he fell backwards, letting out a cry, before slamming painfully into the ground.
The breath was knocked out of his chest, and he could only watch through blurry eyes as Horatio jerked forward in a panic, knocking over a large stack of crates by the door and sending their contents spilling to the ground before the horse settled once more.
At first, all he felt was pain. He took a few deep breaths, fighting through it by forcing his blurry vision to focus. The first thing he was finally able to see was Ryan’s bow, which had apparently tumbled from his back and landed on the ground next to him. He slowly breathed in and out as he lit himself focus on the bow, his eyes narrowing suddenly when he noticed a small carving just above the grip.
It was a small sigil of some sort, with a large tree encircled by vines. Something was clawing just at the edge of Gavin’s memory as he realized he’d seen it before, but he just couldn’t remember where.
Maybe one of the houses of Roosteria, he thought offhandedly.
Horatio let out a snort, and Gavin shook his head. Oh yeah, he was escaping.
Realizing the immediate pain had vanished, and only leaving the dull ache in his injured ankle, he grabbed the bow and cautiously crawled to his feet. He limped back to his horse, pausing only when he realized the large sack tied to the saddle had come open.
He smirked as he saw the loaves of bread and bundles of meat that Ryan must have pilfered quietly from Adam’s pantry when Gavin wasn’t looking, but the smirk quickly fell when he noticed what lay at the bottom.
The Herobrine doll.
Adrenaline was pumping through him, begging him to move, but he stood in place, still staring down at the doll.
Ryan had packed his Herobine doll. The words tumbled through his head, but no matter how many times he repeated them they didn’t quite make sense. Gavin had assumed he’d lost it during their mad scramble from the inn, along with the small cow doll as well, but Ryan must have had it this whole time.
And he had packed it.
Like when he’d seen the sigil, something was once again crawling at the edges of Gavin’s consciousness trying to solidify into a coherent thought.
He jerked his head towards the hook where he’d seen the bow hung. Right beside the door. In plain view.
His eyes slid absentmindedly over the door to the crates Horatio had knocked over, glancing over the contents that now littered the ground when he spotted something behind where the crates had sat. A large sheath, the hilt of sword sticking out the top, piled on top of a sack identical to the one that had been tied to his saddle.
He stumbled towards it, almost in a daze, ignoring Horatio’s whines behind him, and dropping to his knees. Even as he pulled the sword from the sheath he knew what he’d see, the shining crest of Roosteria etched into the blade.
All of his doubts, and worries, and fears seemed to vanish, as one solid thought pulsed to the forefront of his mind and he knew it as a fact.
Ryan had meant for him to leave.
The sword fell from his trembling fingers, and clattered loudly to the ground, but Gavin didn’t pay it any attention, turning to fumble with the sack lying beside him. Ryan had meant for him to leave. Without him. He leafed through the loaves of bread and meat, the contents almost identical to Gavin’s sack, but when he stretched the bag fully open what was lying at the bottom dragged a choked sob from his lips.
The stuffed cow.
Title: Just Because Colin Firth Kissed Matthew Goode in the Photoset, it Does Not Mean This Will Be a Happy Movie
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Micheoff
Word Count: 1,642
Notes: Listen ok. This is purely self indulgent ridiculousness because life-sized-rainbow-bright and I made a horrible decision and so I had to make it better. I’m sorry it took so long. Also, this contains spoilers for the movie A Single Man. Not many, cause I tried to only give the bare bones of it, but it follows pretty closely.
“Dude, come watch this with me.”
“What? No we said we were gonna go to bed early. It’s like 10:30, come on.”
“Colin Firth is in it.”
“…So?”
“He’s kissing Matthew Goode.”
“So…Harry Hart kissing Ozymandias? I’m fine with it.”
They cuddle up on the couch, Michael lying back against Geoff’s chest, holding hands as the movie begins to play. Soft music surrounds them as figures on the screen swim through sepia toned water (“We’re not even a minute in and there is butt cheeks, nice.” “Good decisions.” “Yup.”) before there’s a car crash on screen and blood is spattered across the snow, dark against the pristine white.
“Christ, Geoff, what the fuck.”
“This is not what I intended.”
“Nope, this is too sad, turn it off.”
“But I’m invested now!”
The movie continues, showing the main character struggling to deal with life after his lover died. He’s interacting with his surroundings, flashing back to when he got the news of his lover’s death (“Jesus Christ.” “Oh my god, he’s crying. Geoff, no, come on.” “We have to watch to the end.” “It’s just gonna get worse.” “Goddammit.”), being pleasant with his neighbors (“Did that kid just grind up a butterfly in his hands?” “Like a weed nugget.” “What the hell.”), to going to his work at a university (“Lee Pace!” “I knew I recognized him.” “One can never forget those eyebrows.” “…Lee, he can’t hear you; he’s watching those boys play tennis.” “I mean. Look at those collarbones.” “Exactly.”).
Their easy banter continues through the movie, “Are they smoking in the classroom?” “The sixties were wild.” “Is that the kid from X-men?” “Oh God, yes. Are they gonna kiss?”, trailing off slightly when the protagonist begins questioning his students on the reading they were assigned. The discussion comes around from one of the students pointing out that the book’s narrator felt fear because he was too old for the girl he was dating (and Michael can /feel/ flinch against him where they’re pressed close together), to the protagonist explaining that fear in all forms comes from the unknown, the unexperienced.
“Holy shit, that sounds like something you’d say."
"Yeah.”
"…I mean it as a compliment. Like that you’re smart. “
"Yeah, no, I get that.”
“Geoff.”
“I’m fine, let’s keep watching.”
“What, so I can watch you silently freak out over dating someone younger than you?"
”….Not freaking out. “
"Yeah? Wanna let go of my hand? You’re kinda crushing it.”
“Sorry. I’m fine. Really. We can keep watching-look, they’re being stupidly domestic."
”…ok. “
Michael can feel Geoff tensing up beside him as the movie continues, from the young student hitting on the protagonist ("Look at those roll down windows.” “Oh my god, are they gonna kiss in the car?” “He just wants to suck your dick, professor.” “He just wants to be the best power bottom he can be for you.” “…Are you talking about me?” “Michael, I would never.” “You’re a goddamn liar.”), to him going through his lock box in the bank (“Oh my god.” “Oh god, is that an engagement ring?! I was so happy for him for a moment.” “Just. We should just resolve to be sad the rest of the movie.” “Can we stop? Like, this is just gonna get worse.” “Michael, come on. We’re like half way through. We can do it.” “If I cry, I’m gonna punch you.”)
“Is that a Hispanic James Dean?” “Oh God, good it’s not just me.” “…That is an intimate ass cigarette.” “Bro, seriously,” when the protagonist stops to buy liquor and ends up sharing a cigarette with a guy he just met.
Geoff goes silent when the protagonist gets into a shouting match with his best friend for calling his relationship fake, saying that the sixteen years they spent with each other didn’t count as a “real relationship” because it was between two men. “Wow, rude as hell,” Michael says in an attempt to make Geoff laugh that falls flat. He stays silent until the end of the movie, even through the student literally stalking the protagonist until he gives in and admits that he wants him, the two of them skinny dipping, and Michael’s indignation at the end of the movie, “Oh, what the fuck? Are you fucking serious?!”
“Ok, honestly that’s not how I expected the movie to go.”
“That was sad as fuck. I need like…I need something to not go to bed sad.””
Yeah? What do you want? I can make something quick-”
“Kinda want you to fuck me.”
“Christ, Michael.”
“What, what did I do?”
“Nothing, just. Are you sure?”
“….Am I sure I want my boyfriend to put his dick inside me? Lemme think about that for a moment.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“Seriously, boss- what’s wrong?”
“Just. You know. You sure I’m not too old?”
“….Is this because of the movie or because I call you daddy?"
“…Both?”
“Christ. Come on.”
With that, Michael’s tangling their fingers together, tugging Geoff behind him down the hall and into their bedroom. He pushes against Geoff, presses him back until he’s sitting on the bed, pushing at him more until he’s laying flat on his back, Michael climbing up the bed to straddle Geoff’s hips. Placing both hands on either side of Geoff’s shoulders, he kisses him deeply before speaking.
“I like it when you fuck me. I like the way you make me take it and you’re not too old to make me feel good. I just. Fuck-I got so used to calling you- what do you want me to say?”
“Christ, Michael, just say my name, that’s all I want.”
---
Geoff fucks into Michael slowly despite his protests, deep strokes that have him moaning into the sheets beneath them. His hands grip Michael’s hips tightly; pressing bruises to the skin there while he kisses the words I love you over and over again into the skin of Michael’s neck and to the space between his shoulder blades. He doesn’t think Michael can hear him, doesn’t think Michael can make out the words pressed against his skin, but Michael’s unclenching a hand from the sheets and reaching down to grab at one of Geoff’s hands. He pulls at it until they’re holding hands, bringing Geoff’s hand up so he can press a kiss to the back of his hand. The action surprises a sobbing moan out of Geoff, who buries his face against Michael’s neck and fucks into him harder, fighting to keep their pace steady, listening to the way Michael’s pleading with him against their joined hands please Geoff, please God go faster I need it, I want it I love you please.
He finds himself shifting then, pulling his hand away from Michael’s (and Michael will insist later that he didn’t whine at that and Geoff will press gentle kisses to his hair and let him insist) to lean up so he’s kneeling behind him before pulling Michael up so his chest is pressed to Michael’s back. He holds Michael close to him now, one arm wrapped around his middle, other hand pressed to his chest, knees between Michael’s own to keep his legs spread enough that he doesn’t enough leverage to do anything but rock his hips back against Geoff’s. Michael grinds against Geoff, his head falling back onto his shoulder as he tugs the hand on his chest up higher to rest upon his throat. Geoff’s trying to stay focused, check with Michael before he puts pressure on his neck, but Michael’s going tight around him, begging him brokenly Geoff Geoff please fuck it’s ok I want it-I need you to fuck just fucking choke me already God- and he’s gripping Michael’s neck, listening to the way his moans cut off and his nails are digging into Geoff’s wrist as he increases the pressure.
Geoff wants to watch the way Michael’s falling apart against him, wants to watch his eyes roll back as he strokes himself off desperately while mouthing fuck in quick succession, but he can’t because he’s close, he’s so close he’s gonna come. He holds onto Michael tightly, fucks into him and growls praises into his skin, fuck Michael fuck, you’re so good, you’re so good to me God, until Michael goes still and shakes against him. He pulls his hand away from Michael’s throat and he falls to the bed gasping as Geoff holds his hips with both hands and fucks into him quickly, once twice before he’s pressing in deep and coming with a low moan of Michael’s name, dropping his head between his shoulders and staying pressed against him as they come down.
He pulls out of Michael slowly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder when he lets out a soft moan before flopping down next to him on the bed. Geoff watches Michael move over to him through half lidded eyes, letting out a huff of air when Michael flops himself across Geoff’s chest. Michael moves so they’re pressed together again, and honestly this should be disgusting because there’s come everywhere really-but he’s leaning over Geoff and kissing him slowly, intimately, swiping his tongue across Geoff’s to bring his focus solely down to where they’re connected, Michael’s hands cupping his face and his own holding onto Michael’s hips gently.
Michael pulls away from the kiss in stages, licking at Geoff’s lips before placing pecking kisses against his lips.
"Geoff?”
“Hm?”
“Look at me for a sec.”
“…yeah?”
“I like being with you. You know that right? You believe me?”
“…Yeah."
"I love you. For real. This is real. I’m. You’re stuck with me for fucking ever, ok?”
“You’re stuck with me too. With all of my issues.”
“Yeah well. I love you and your issues. That’s not gonna fucking change.”
“Michael?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you too.”
“You had fucking better.”
"Esclave de Sang" Chapter Five
Part five of a mavin!teen vampire AU where Gavin is a hot vampire exchange student who keeps eyeing a flustered Michael who is confused and angry and also may or may not be Gavin’s “esclave de sang” or as English would say, “blood slave”
Words: 1302 Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7/? Rated: PG-13
When Michael awoke the next morning, the space beside him was empty. He slowly sat up, feeling much better except for the ache in his chest. He looked around the room, gaze slightly nervous. Where was Gavin? What time was it? Shit, he should call his mom and tell her he was fine. Michael sighed, standing up and finding his way to the bathroom. He used the toothbrush at the sink, not caring if it was Gavin’s or not. Did vampires need to brush their teeth? Michael rolled his eyes, annoyed at his dumb question. When he finished cleaning himself, he pulled out his phone and called his mother, informing her of his whereabouts and telling her he’d be out for a bit longer. Settling matters and properly awake, Michael stood in the middle of the bedroom, curious as to what to do. He didn’t want to wait in the room since he didn’t know when Gavin would be back, but he was kind of scared to wander the house. Sure, he had met a few of the other vampires, but he still didn’t know everyone yet. Suddenly, he remembered Ray and his generous offer. Michael grinned. He could go find his new esclave friend and see if he knows where Gavin is. Michael nodded, pleased with him coming up with a plan. The human left the bedroom, starting down the hall and peeking at each closed door. He wasn’t sure if he should look in any of them because… well what if there was a vampire and esclave doing what he and Gavin had been doing last night? Michael’s cheeks grew hot as he quickly recalled his and Gavin’s actions. He covered his face with his hands and stopped in the middle of the hall, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I did that,” he muttered, but jumped a moment later when a hand was placed on his shoulder. Michael turned to meet eyes with a man he didn’t recognize. The man’s eyes were piercingly blue and almost entrancing. Michael gaped at him in silence. The man cocked a smile. “You look lost, pup. Unfortunately, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you, yet, so I can’t really help you at the moment.” His smile was friendly yet menacing all at once. Michael blinked, remembering to breath. “Oh. Sorry. I’m Michael. I’m-“ “Gav’s esclave,” he interrupted, nodding. “I’m glad you’ve decided to stay. I’m Geoff,” he greeted, holding out his hand to shake. Michael grasped Geoff’s hand in his and shook not only his hand but his head. “Actually, I haven’t quite decided to stay yet…” Geoff’s eyebrows raised but he held the same expression. “Really? You don’t like my family?” he chuckled. Michael’s eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. “Oh no, those that I’ve met are really nice! And your house is beautiful.” Geoff tipped his head to the side. “Then is it Gavin? Not entirely your fault, he is kind of an idiot.” Michael hurriedly shook his head again. “No, no, he’s really wonderful,” he answered, voice soft, smiling lightly. Geoff smirked, catching Michael’s attempt at hiding his affection. “Then what’s the problem?” Michael was silent for a moment, contemplating. “It’s just… I don’t know if I can just leave my old life behind.” “Well it’s pretty easy, just wave and say, ‘Peace out!’ Boom! Old life is left behind,” Geoff said, grinning. Michael laughed. “I guess, but, what about my family?” he asked. Geoff paused. “I can give them a visit, if you’d like. I can erase their memories of you. They’d have no idea you even existed.” Michael looked horrified. “No, that’d be worse!” Geoff shrugged. “I’ve done it before.” “No, I can… I can just tell my mom I’m moving. I mean, it might confuse her but at least it’s somewhat of an answer, right?” Geoff smiled. “There you go! That’ll work.” Michael sighed, eyes dropping to the ground. They stood together in silence for a moment when Michael suddenly remembered why he had left the room in the first place. “Oh, by the way, do you know where Gavin is? I haven’t seen him all morning.” Geoff pondered for a minute before replying, “Probably getting breakfast. Check the drawing room. That’s where everyone eats breakfast, lunch and dinner.” Geoff gave Michael a crude grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “It’s just down there and is the second door on the left,” he guided with his finger. Michael nodded slowly, uncertain. “I’ll see you later, Michael. It was lovely meeting you,” Geoff said with a wave and a wink as he continued on down the hall. Michael watched him leave with a curious gaze until he was out of sight. He exhaled lightly, heading to where Geoff had directed him and stopping in front of the door. Grasping the handle and pushing it open, Michael froze as he witnessed countless vampires bent over writhing bodies. The room was a mixture of moans and cries and chatter and everything and Michael breathed heavily, trying to remain composed. His eyes scanned the room as he kept his back to the door, hand on the knob. To his dismay, he caught the sight of Dan straddling a lazy Ray, who was laying back on his phone as the vampire sucked at his neck. Feeling sick, Michael quickly looked away to see Gavin at the other end of the room pressed up against the red head esclave of that Lindsay girl. The girl vampire was sitting down, sipping at a colored beverage, watching Gavin drink from her esclave and smiling. Michael swallowed around the lump in his throat, fear, disgust and even jealousy bottling up in his stomach as he heard himself mutter, “Get off of her.” Gavin immediately froze, looking up from her neck and his wide eyes flicking around the room in surprise. He caught Michael’s furious glare and was at his side in an instant. “What are you doing here?” Gavin whispered, hands sliding to his waist. “You should be resting.” “Yeah, well I was until I caught you getting cozy with that other girl,” he snapped, smacking his hands off of his hips. “Look, if you don’t want me as your fucking blood bag, just say so and I’ll be out of here in an instant, alright?” he hissed. Gavin shook his head quickly. “No, Michael, I didn’t want to drink from you so early after your first bite; it could have hurt you too much. Meg has been an esclave for a while and she’s used to it, and Lindsay was fine with me drinking from her- I was only hungry, she doesn’t mean anything to me!” he pleaded. “Please, Michael, don’t leave. If you really want me to, I’ll drink from you again, just don’t leave.” Michael wouldn’t meet the vampire’s pathetic eyes and instead frowned at the wall. He crossed his arms and practically pouted. “Fine,” he muttered. “If you’re that much of a bitch about it, I’ll friggin’ stay, jeez.” Gavin’s worried expression relaxed into a soft smile. He wrapped his arms around his human and buried his face into his neck, planting warm kisses along the skin and up to his jaw. “I’m sorry you had to find this wretched place. How did you even get here?” he murmured. Michael shrugged. “Some guy named Geoff told me.” Gavin’s kisses stopped and he pulled back, eyes wide as he stared at Michael. “Wait, you’ve already met Geoff?” he asked quickly. The human blinked, surprised. “Uh, yeah. He was kinda freaky though. It was weird. Like, I think he’s nice but then there’s somethin’ about him, man.” Gavin bit his lip. “Bugger me. I wanted to introduce you.” He sighed, pushing his nose against Michael’s cheek, smiling. “Oh well.”
A Thousands Breaths : Chapter 2 of 5 - “Disease”
Synopsis: Ray’s got something that should have never belonged to him. Joel feels responsible and tries to make things right. Though, nothing might ever be right again.
A/N: Did I mention this fic is based on real life events that actually happened to someone in my family? I tried to make the conversations as close as possible (just minus any gaming references).
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Joel had been pacing in the waiting area for roughly a day and a half. After Ray had been wheeled into the hospital after his incident on The Patch, he hadn't been allowed any visitors. "We're running tests" was all he'd been told.
Burnie, who hadn't left as the others had done earlier that night, sighed loudly as he sipped his cup of coffee. "Joel, sit down. I get that you're nervous, but... There's nothing we can do right now," he offered.
After kicking a perfectly good potted plant, Joel growled loudly. "THEY WON'T TELL ME ANYTHING! His parents aren't even coming until the weekend, and they're all like "BLAAHAHHAHAHAHA FAMILY ONLY". PEICES OF SHIT! I HOPE THEY GET HOT MOLTEN GOLD SHOVED UP THEIR ASS AND SERVED LIKE A GODDAMN JALAPENO!" he screeched, earning him MANY odd looks from the nursing staff in the area.
"You haven't smoked in hours, have you?" Burnie shot back, after quickly rolling his eyes.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP," Joel screamed back.
"Mr. Heyman?" a kind voice echoed.
Joel spun around immediately, met with a tiny doctor. The woman could barely be five foot tall, yet had a powerful stature and perky orange hair. "Ray would like to see you now, and his doctor has cleared him for visitors. Would you like to come?" she asked.
"Yes, PLEASE!" Joel exclaimed.
The doctor nodded him forward, and the two began moving throughout the ward. They passed three hallways and the nursery by the time they reached the far-off corner hallway. Room 313, labeled as "Special Care".
"Ray's doctor will be in shortly. Please go on in," the doctor said, as she began to walk off.
Hesitantly, Joel pushed open the door, and went into a near pitch-black room, save for one over head lamp.
"Oh my god..." Joel muttered, covering his mouth as he spotted Ray.
Ray was like his worst smoker's nightmare come true. Breathing tubes stuck up his nose, in an ill-fitting hospital gown, struggling to breath. Even while wearing his achievement hunter beanie, it wasn't the same Ray. Not by a long shot. He was sick, tired, and looked as though he were Joel's age. Whatever was wrong with him, it was serious.
His boyfriend turned his head and smiled giddily.
"You came... My.. My hero," Ray managed to barely get out before hacking loudly again.
Joel staggered over to Ray, like something out of a bad zombie flick. "Y... You okay? What did the doctor say? Is it the flu? Pneumonia? Something like that?" he asked.
Ray shrugged. "Dunno, he hasn't-" he started to explain, unable to finish as he started coughing into his hands.
Flinching at the sight of blood on Ray's hand, he barely noticed as the door to the hospital room opened.
"Mr. Narvaez?" the doctor asked.
Ray waved. "Present," he muttered, clearing his throat.
"A pleasure to meet you, despite the situation. Glad to finally have you conscious with us again, we were certainly worried! I'm Doctor Reed, and I've been examining your X-Rays we took earlier last night. I'm the hospital's on-site oncologist," he explained.
Joel took in the doctor's overall presence. He had a thin build, completely engulfed by his white lab coat. Buzzed blonde hair were only a few inches off his scalp.
"Oncologist" scared the shit out of him. Those were doctors that dealt with tumors or some shit.
"And you are?" Dr. Reed asked, turning in Joel's direction.
"Boyfriend," Joel shot back immediately. He grabbed Ray by the hand, holding it tight.
"Do you want him to stay? This is a rather personal conversation," Dr. Reed asked, glaring at Joel.
Ray nodded. "Of course, he's a big part of my life. We've been living together for like.. Three years now," he answered, squeezing Joel's hand right back.
Sighing, Dr. Reed moved to the front of Ray's hospital bed.
"So what is it doc? A bad flu? Had something like this when I was little. Was in the hospital for a month," Ray asked, struggling not to cough.
Dr. Reed shut his eyes. "Mr. Narveaz, do you smoke?" he asked.
Ray snorted. "Oh hell no! My folks smoked my whole life, and my boyfriend here is like a freight train," he joked, clearing his throat as another cough started to form in his throat.
"I see..." Dr. Reed mumbled. He shot Joel a seething glare.
"So... What is it then?" Ray asked again, sensing the tension that was ripe in the air.
Dr. Reed took out an X-Ray from his file, and plastered it on the light-screen that would illuminate it. He flipped it on, and pointed to Ray's upper right lung. "Do you see this right here?" he asked.
Ray and Joel both squinted to see. There was some sort of cloudy material on the spot.
"Yeah, what is that? Inflammation?" Joel asked.
Dr. Reed shook his head. "I won't drag this out. Ray, I am 90% sure that you have stage 3 non-small cellular lung cancer. We're still waiting on the biopsy results from your bronchoscopic biopsy, but I've seen this a million times before," he answered.
The room froze.
Ray's grip was almost non-existent at that point.
"W.. What?!" Joel shouted.
Ray was just as stunned, and quickly regained his grip on Joel's hand. "WHAT!? YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME! I'VE NEVER SMOKED IN MY LIFE!" Ray screeched. Though just as soon as he did, Ray entered into a long fit of coughing.
Joel's blood almost turned ice in an instant. Ray had never smoked. But someone else in his life HAD. He knew right away where Ray had gotten the smoke in his lungs.
"In your mid twenties, and you've spent almost all of your life in homes that have had smokers. The secondhand smoke adds up, and it's like you were smoking the cigarette yourself. I don't even want to think about what the lining of your lungs look like. This also explains your LONG history of respiratory infections in your file," Dr. Reed answered.
Ray's eyes went wild. "O... Oh," he muttered.
With his body shaking, Joel let go of Ray's grasp. "Oh my god... Oh my god... What have I done... What... What have I done?" he kept repeating over and over again.
Ray tried to lean up and grab his boyfriend. "Joel, it's not your fault! My folks probably gave it to me! I lived with them WAY longer than I did with you," he announced, struggling to breath and having to lay down to collect himself in the process.
"Though you certainly didn't help any either. The accumulation these last few years were probably the ones that hurt the most. Already weak lungs plus more smoke? Not a good situation," Dr. Reed shot back bitterly.
"Could you NOT?" Ray spat back angrily.
Joel collapsed on the nearby chair, throwing his head between his legs. "You warned me... You... You fucking warned me!" he screamed.
Dr. Reed put himself between Joel and Ray. "Any questions before I explain our course of action?" he asked.
"What's my chances?" Ray asked immediately.
Dr. Reed shut his eyes. "You have a few things in your "plus" column. In the world of lung cancer, you've hit the lottery and got the slowest advancing disease. You're young, strong, and probably have the kind of insurance to get you the best treatment possible. I'm a solid doctor in the field and will be more than willing to take you on as my client. I also-"
"Cut the crap and tell me the truth," Ray shot back angrily. The lad was fighting tears at this point, clutching his chest tightly.
"This is just my estimate based on patients in your same condition, and just a rough one at that. There is a fifteen percent chance at best you'll live past five years," Dr. Reed answered.
Joel's jaw dropped.
Ray's body chilled.
"We need to start treatment immediately for the best results. You're on the cusp between stage 2 and stage 3. If we catch it now, we might be able to turn that 15 percent into 30 percent. Hell, if we're lucky, it won't have hit your lymph nodes yet and we can eradicate it before it spreads anywhere else. We'll test for that today," Dr. Reed explained, putting his hand on Ray's. "But first, we need to discuss some things. First and foremost, we're going to need to get you an oxygen tank and find a friend you can stay with," he answered.
Joel perked his ears up at that. "He's living with me, is that a problem?" he asked.
Dr. Reed sighed, not taking his eyes off Ray. "Only if you'd consider putting him back in a poisonous atmosphere a problem? He needs a smoke and allergen-free place to stay. Nothing that would stress out his breathing or cause more damage. He could technically move back in with you, but you'd have to fumigate the apartment and stop smoking completely. Can you do that?" he answered.
Joel's hands had already long since been palming the cigarette case in his pants.
"I didn't think so," Dr. Reed muttered bitterly.
Ray bit his bottom lip. "I... I can call my friend Michael. He and his wife don't smoke, they might let me sleep in the guest room... For.. For a while," he muttered.
His boyfriend's heart dropped like a rock.
"I'll go get some brochures, a fresh tank, and documents while you make the arrangements. Like I said, we need to start this immediately, if not sooner. We have a lot to discuss, but go ahead and make any immediate arrangements that are necessary. But trust me... I won't let you down. As long as you're willing to fight, I'll fight just as hard with you," he said proudly.
Dr. Reed bowed his head, gathered his things, and made a b-line for the door. He shut it tightly behind himself as he left.
Neither spoke.
Small hiccups and sobs could be heard from both directions of the room.
Finally, Joel lifted his head up. "Ray... Ray I'm so sorry.. I.. I didn't mean to... I... Fuck!" he shouted. Tears were pouring down the man's face. Though as he looked at his boyfriend, Joel's angered expression turned curious.
Ray was... Smiling. He was certainly still crying, still struggling to breath, but he was smiling. A fragile smile that was on the verge of collapse. A smile that spoke volumes to Joel. A smile he knew was being faked for HIM. For HIM.
Art by OkayYeti
Source
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After scrubbing in Michael's shower for no less than an hour, and buying a completely new outfit that was smoke free, Joel finally felt comfortable exiting the bathroom. Attached to Michael and Lindsay's guestroom, the two had been offered use of the room as long as they wanted while Joel's house was fumigated and made safe for Ray to live in again.
While wiping his hair with a damp towel, Joel saw his boyfriend laying on the bed. Only after a million and a half tests had they FINALLY let him out of the hospital nearly a week later. Though the oxygen tubes stayed in, doctor's orders.
"How you feeling?" Joel asked.
Ray snorted. "My god I'm getting sick of that question. First it was you, then Burnie, then Geoff and Griffon, then Gavin, then Lindsay and Michael, and just... FUCK... I've had cancer all of a week, I don't know HOW I'm supposed to feel! See, THIS is why I'm not telling anyone who's not important!" he shouted.
Joel shut his eyes. "Sorry..." he mumbled.
Sighing Ray shook his head and patted on the bed next to him. "I wasn't taking that out on you. I'm just... Gah, I'm trying to be positive about this. I guess I'm sucking at that," he chuckled, only hacking a few times after speaking.
Joel plopped down next to Ray, covering them both in a large quilt that had been at the foot of the bed. He put his arm around Ray and cuddled up within just a few inches of him.
Ray melted in his arms. "Oh my God... This is a first," he said happily.
"What?" Joel retorted, kissing his boyfriend on the head.
"You smell CLEAN!" Ray exclaimed.
Joel rolled his eyes. "Yes, I've decided to put away the garbage scented deodorant," he muttered, kissing gently on Ray's neck.
There was an awkward silence as Ray shivered.
"Hmm?" Joel asked.
Ray leaned his head on Joel's shoulder. "Babe, we really didn't... We didn't talk about it, but I've got to ask. You're... You're gonna stop smoking, right?" he asked.
A painful punch felt as though it had rammed right through Joel's stomach.
Joel nodded. "Y.. Yeah. I did this to you, so I'm not gonna make it any worse. I'll... I'll stop," he explained.
The fourth of fucking July lit up on Ray's face.
"REALLY!? OH MY GOD JOEL, I LOVE YOU!" Ray shouted, hugging Joel's neck tightly.
Joel just nodded along, hugging his boyfriend back. "Ye... Yeah.. I love you too," he muttered. As he said it, he eyed the pack of cigarettes sticking out of his pants pocket on the chair across the room.
"Oh my god I want it so bad..." Joel thought to himself.