Discover Top Posts Tagged with #ralphmas

RALPHMAS

Thanks @l3m0ngal5 for the idea

Ralph dashed through the corridors shooting the Christmas shotgun Benny made the mistake of giving him. He shot it at the wall, tinsle exploded across it! He shot a door, red and green glitter embedded into the wood!

Each time the gun went off a object was Christmasified. Tinsel and glitter everywhere.

“DEMON! Clayton threw open the glittering door “STOP MAKING THAT RACKET. YOUR LUCKY YOUR EVEN HERE AND I HAVENT SLAGHUTERD YOU ALREADY!”

“Cunton shut it” Tamika snapped “besides Ralph, sweetheart your holding your gun wrong. Brace it against your shoulder pocket… aim…fire!” She then shot glitter directly into Clayton’s crotch. The scream nearly bust his eardrums.

Ralph and Tamika dashed out of the shimmering crime scene. “Get in the plane” Tamika grinned “NOT THE DRIVERS SEAT YA BASTERD” Ralph scooted over into the passenger’s seat as she leaped into the cockpit and fired it up.

Just as Tamika was getting ready to take flight the abominable snowman’s summer fortnight skin charged out of the building directly towards them.

They began to take off and Ralph stuck his head out the window to say a loving goodbye to Clayton “bye bye frosty the @#!%# shit %#!?@ @###%!?*& ass snowman #?!@%!# cunt &#@?!! Fuck !?£# you” with that they took off.

Tamika hiccuped and her shoulders shook “that was the most beautiful peice of poetry I’ve ever heard” she wiped a tear from her eye “I’m so glad I raised you on such fine English and you use it for a heartwarming goodbye” Ralph leaned forward and hugged her “I’m adopting you”

As soon as they landed and got to her house she hugged her husband “hi babe this is our new son say hi” Paul muttered a shocked hi as Ralph decorated him Christmas tree style and their daughters took a photo Wich is now displayed in a scrapbook with Paul’s first time meeting his distinguished son written in glitter pen next to it.