Through the Years: A Mother's Birthday
OK so... I am most likely to post this on AO3 also, idk at the moment. though. Also, Happy Mother's Day!
I thought of adding Telugu/Tamil dialogues but decided against it in the last moment as it didn't really feel right. Feeling a bit sleep deprived and will probably fuck off today cuz it is a busy day and hopefully I manage to study for my sems between that! Hope you all like it!
Warning: Canon Character death and maybe whole loads of Ram angst (the usual)
Fic under the cut
Scene 1
Ram looked down at the new journal in deep thought. He'd just brought it and he didn't want to taint it with the dubious thoughts of his mission. His journal didn't deserve that as it's first ever note.
He closed his eyes and tried to even his breathing, struggling to think up about a happy place.
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"Amma!!!!!!!!"
His mother looked up from whatever she was sewing back with a bright smile on her face.
"What happened, kanna?"
"Close your eyes." Chinna said in excitement.
"Ok." Amma had closed her eyes and the two of them had giggled as they brought their hands forward.
"Open your eyes now!"
Amma opened her eyes and squinted at the two of them, before glancing down at their hands and gasped.
"Kanna..."
"Did we do something wrong?" Ram asked, immediately noticing the tear that was sneaking past her eye.
"Oh no! This is-"
"Sarojini!" His dad entered with a broad smile of his own, hands carefully balancing boxes of delicious biriyani Babai usually made on this day.
"Look at what my children have given me!" she said with a proud smile on her face. Dad had taken the two pieces of paper and nodded.
"This is really good!"
On the paper was written - "Happy BirtHDay AMMA! Nee Chinna Ram"
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Scene 2
He didn't want to make this entry. He really didn't. He didn't have the heart to do it. Yet he stared as his hand involuntarily dragged itself over the page to record those cursed words.
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*Excerpt from the diary*
The day wasn't supposed to go that way. It was supposed to be like every year. It was supposed to be him, Baba, Amma, Chinna and Babai together under one roof and celebrating Amma's birthday with Babai's biriyani, Sita's dolls and his and thammudu's surprises.
It wasn't supposed to be the day when the Britishers force their way into their home and terrorise their families. It wasn't supposed to be the day when his father was to single-handedly fight for everyone to escape.
It wasn't supposed to be the day where baba had to get shot. It wasn't supposed to be the day when Chinna got shot to the head. It wasn't supposed to be the day when he had to kill Baba to save everyone.
And it definitely wasn't the day when Amma had to die.
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Scene 3
"Rama?" Babai asked softly as he climbed up to the terrace of the building. Ram had just recently moved in and he could see that the young man was feeling really restless.
"Can't sleep, Babai. It is a new place after all."
He nodded, not really believing the excuse but knowing enough not to push the subject. Instead, he just chose to sit by his nephew and put a hand around his shoulder.
"You're mother was a really fiery woman. If she put her mind to something, she wouldn't leave without finishing it," he said with a small smile.
"Tell me more?" Ram asked softly. And they spent the night in the embrace of the cool wind and stories of the past. That was the mark of another year going away.
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Scene 4
Ram sat down with his diary again, a letter placed on the table right in front of him.
"I did it," he whispered as he started writing in excruciating detail of how he'd gotten into the police force, how he was one step closer to the mission. How he was so close to achieving everything.
But then his eyes wandered back to the date and his smile slowly dropped.
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Maybe it was ironic or someone really loved to mess up with his life, enough to make sure that he joined the very people who killed them the very day they were killed.
It was also when doubts started to creep in. Amma had wanted him to be a warrior but also follow his ethics. But at the moment, if he were to follow the same ethics and morals, he wouldn't be able to fulfill the mission
"Am I doing the right thing, Amma?"
Scene 5
For once, he wasn't with the diary in his study. Doesn't mean that he'd left his diary alone. It was more like he carried it wherever he went that day. He'd made it a tradition to spend that day with his diary and he wasn't going to break it today.
It did bring out weird looks from Akthar and Jenny but he ignored them as he wrote and wrote and wrote in it. He sat back against the tree to rest his eyes for a moment, feeling the exhaustion of the past few days creep in.
"Is it right? What I'm doing?"
"Rama..." he could hear the whisper. "Treasure him."
He could remember the fragments of the conversation he had when Chunna was born. His mother had extracted the same promise from him then too.
"But I failed"
"No, Kanna. Save the girl, treasure the man."
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"Amma?" he gasped, opening his eyes and expecting the soft face with a tired yet smiling look. Instead all he got was a face filled with brown and black curls with identical expressions of concern.
"Is everything alright, Anna?" Akthar asked.
"Yeah, Akthar, everything is fine."
Well, it was as fine as it could be. Because he knew nothing would be completely fine after that day.
Scene 6
"So..." Jenny asked as she sat on the ground. "What is the special occasion?"
"Why? Should I always have a reason to take you all out?" Ram asked in mock offence.
"Well, Anna, you usually don't volunteer exactly."
"Bheem is right, Ram. Are you telling them or should I?"
Ram let out a sigh and asked them all to lie down on the ground, each one's feet facing a different direction as their heads touched each other.
"Today is my mother's birthday."
"Awww... That's so sweet" Jenny gushed immediately.
"And also the day they all died."
No one said anything for a while as Ram collected his thoughts.
"She loved to watch these stars at the night of her birthday, saying that anything she wished for under the sky will be fulfilled." Ram said softly.
"For years, I couldn't bring myself to do it, look at these stars, but today... I want to do it. With you all."
Neither of them looked at each other, but they didn't need to. Their hands automatically linked together as they closed their eyes. And hopefully, their wishes will come true.
"Happy birthday, Amma."