#rambling text posts

[magicalbilly]

It's kinda weird, I've noticed like 7/10 of the blogs from the little circle of cardiacs fans on tumblr sort of wound up posting a bunch of McElroy brothers stuff. I'm not quite sure there's a direct thread. But I DO know you couldn't really get a more contrasted brotherly/professional relationship than the the smith brothers to the mcelboys.

[mythicalmodernity-blog]

Hmmm, I think I got most my deity tags worked out with the ones in que. Mister Trickster Monster Mother = Loki tag King of Gilded Waves = Njord tag Golden Brother Golden Sister = Freyr and Freya (sometimes split if pertinent to only one) The Sisters Crow = The Morrígan tag Young and Lovely Son = Aengus Og tag The only two I’m waffling on now are Thor’s tag and Nerthus’ tag, I have tags for them but I don’t think they will remain unchanged.

[throughtheshotglass]

A Brief Nonsensical Text

My best friend is coming down to see me next week and I couldn't be happier. He suggested we do what we used to do which was drink to The Golden Girls. Yeah, I may not have gotten around to mentioning I don’t drink anymore. I just hate having that conversation. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but sometimes it is. People feel like I’m personally judging them just because I say I don’t drink.  Granted, I could probably outdrink all these people but that’s not the point. I don’t even know what the point of this post was.

[sauver-cosima]

say a word enough, it becomes meaningless, disappears into sound: me me me me me me me me. see? “when you grow up, grow up, Grow Up, you’ll understand” time will wash you away, oceans tugging at sand

must years bring hardness, belief, self-righteous pride? what do decades teach but repetition, emptiness inside?

(vacant seashells crushed in the tide)

I love you I love you I     love    you see? affection born of time and memory what do you love, your ideas or me?

as though this striving could bring release you preach of calm, joy, compassion, peace

nothing but noise, brittle, loud words ringing hollow and proud

[sauver-cosima]

I am on a train. I am speechless. Clouds,sky, trees, flashing by outside but if I try to look too hard I see nothing but a green and blue blur. Glass-filtered sunlight seeping into my skin. If I watch, for a moment I feel tree bark growing on my arms, hear the chattering of ants and smell every flower and my body becomes so alert and it is a feeling like falling but also infinity but then that silence ends and I am myself again. I am afraid. The boundaries of me feel safe. I turn sensation into thought and just like that the sensation is gone. Why can't I talk? There is something alive in my chest. It pushes air out of my throat and hot liquid out of my eyes and I want to scream but I am speechless. Speechless, far from silence. Pictures and colors and feelings flashing by inside but if I try to turn them into words I say nothing but a vaguely meaningful blur. Your smile and your words radiate warmth, melting my bones. I want you to touch me, though I am shy under your gaze. Every time feels as though I have never been looked at before, never been touched. I care too much what you think of me, I fear judgement. I am afraid. And yet you're the only one who could see me without judgement (do you? I used to think so, but I don't know anymore. not that it matters, perhaps it's all in my head). Everything, everything is in my head. I see a flower and it is beautiful and then I think it is beautiful and it is gone. I am afraid. I mouth the words, taste them and push them around my mouth but they refuse to pass my lips. I love you. The words are fragile and sacred and true and they slip out in barely a whisper. I want to shout. I love you. I love you, and I fall in love with you again and again and again. I adore you, when you make me laugh, when you make me think, when you tear me apart.

I am on a bus. I am alone. The sound of the engine is inseparable from the rumbling movement, inseparable from us who sway and stop with it. The vastness of things overwhelms me. Every building and flower and person and tree is so startlingly there. They are me, but there is no me when I see that they are. The world of me is narrow and sad; when I live in it there is little other than frustration and self pity. When I listen and look, there is only    space.

[sauver-cosima]

DEFINE JUSTICE. There is the law, the established status quo of what is written, that attempts to create order, but allows cruelty to happen through technicalities and self-serving control. There is primal revenge, the demand for punishment, of blood for blood, suffering for suffering, that may feel right but only leads to endless violence. Can we move beyond these narrow definitions? Can we learn to forgive, to recognize the larger flaws in our systems and work together to fix them, rather than reacting violently and divisively? We are all capable of kindness, just as we are capable of cruelty. We cannot demonize those who commit violence, just as we cannot idolize victims as perfect martyrs. We must recognize the inextricable interconnectedness of things. Only when we can see others and let go of our preconceived bias will harmony and compassion become a possibility.

[sauver-cosima]

(stranger, lover, love)

I don’t know you

Your eyes are endless pools

Reflecting and drawing me in

 I would love to drown

But you pull me gasping back to life

Despite this adolescent cold

Sunsets never burned so gold

The world more beautiful with you

When I first slid into your arms

By the riverside

(a dark bridge lost in fog)

You set off sparkling Roman candles inside

More sacred than lust

I thought I would dissolve

Into stars and dust

  Lover,

I know you

Without sight or sound

No translation or

Explanation (needed to fill

silence) You understood

(flowing, never still)

Who I am and have been

To finally see and be seen

Your fingers stretch me taut

(strum & pluck at my soul)

In your hands I am a trembling song

I could melt into

You (are everything)

And not be close enough

I want to taste every inch of your skin

Explore every tree, ocean, mountain within

  Love,

I know we have time

To do everything in this world

Learn, grow, live, be

Measure our days in cups of tea

(strange serendipity)

When the years start to show

Will I still shiver at your touch?

Will every kiss still feel like the first?

Let time do its worst

An eternity with you

Would not be enough

[sauver-cosima]

dear santa all I want for christmas is unconditional acceptance from my parents and acknowledgement that I am an autonomous human being and not a vessel for their expectations thx