#ramblinglunatic

[queercodedlunatic]

I've had unbelievably shitty summer/time in general. It includes an exchange gone terribly wrong, me getting stranded in Iceland, lot's of discrimination, me putting my studies on pause for like a year and me staying in Helsinki for the forseeable future because the last thing I want to do is to go back to my old apartment... :) ✌

[salembehindbars]

Journaling Dump

[queercodedlunatic]

I've withheld like a whole folder full of video-ideas, scripts with thousands of words and half edited videos for like two years. I wonder if I'd finally be brave enough to post some of them. It's just that I feel like all of the fandoms they are about are so intimidating and well... they all have their conservative, normative and "canon" obsessed fanbases... From what i've seen through the years, lurking around the internet.

This is about the Elder Scrolls, the Witcher and Supernatural mainly.

I have this conflict about them all. The nuances are different with each of these fandoms but the crux of my inscurity is the same, if that makes any sense. I have a lot to say, but I'm not sure if I should...

[queercodedlunatic]

This halloween I'm going out as myself since I look like a dark wizard anyway. It's been such an autumn that I've barely had time to breathe. I'm planning to go out alone tonight to all the different bars on my street and see what each one is like. Is this a good idea? I don't know. But it sure sounds like an interesting experiment.

[queercodedlunatic]

My situation has elvolved to a point where I feel like doing something but I feel unable to do anything... Like I want to draw, write or play a video game, but once I think about starting it, I feel like my concentration is already non-existant...

[queercodedlunatic]

I've never been this relieved that a year is finally over. Truly one of the toughest least enjoyable years I've had... It's been a failure on all levels. Except the metaphysical, the metaphysical level was alright, makes me almost feel the bad things taught me something essential about life. Yea and I guess re-watching Supernatural and Stargate-sg1 was a good soul altering experience.

Feels like an ending of a cycle. And I'm so happy about it.

[queercodedlunatic]

Always haunted by one of the three fanfiction spirits...

The spirit of smut past 🌟👀🔥:

I'm stuck in earlier creations, thinking, consuming and re-reading what has been. It feels as if nothing can ever surpass the late great sultry classics that have been already made. And thus feast on them like tasty morsels of bread.

The spirit of smut yet to come ☠😱🤤:

Dreaming of ideas not yet written or drawn. Too overwhelmed and tormented by the visions™ to put them down in any format. But the feelings are immense and hard to get past. Endless looping of playlists.

The spirit of smut present 👁👅👁💖:

I get possessed by some Dionysian slut energy and write and draw at the speed of light as if muses have descended upon me with their legs open and demanding. (Aka. The only one that helps me get anything done.)

[queercodedlunatic]

100 posts! (Let’s pretend Castiel birthday art was the 100th instead of the depressionshit-ramblinglunatic-text-post)