#ranboo drsmp

[iamshawn]

Kidnapper:We have your child

Ranboo, looking at Michael: No you don't, he's in front of me

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

Ranboo: Oh god, you have Tubbo

[iamshawn]

Fans: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Tubbo: We're chopsticks!

Fans: Well... that's cute!

Fans: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Ranboo: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

Tubbo: *slowly holds up nuke with sparkle in his eye*

[iamshawn]

Tubbo: Ducks are better than rabbits. Tommy: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Wilbur: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Tommy: We’re not talking about flavour, Wilbur! Wilbur: Flavour counts! Tommy: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Ranboo: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Tommy: Okay, but- Ranboo: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Wilbur: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Tommy: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, WILBUR! Wilbur: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, TOMMY! Tubbo: I- Jesus-

[iamshawn]

Tubbo: We're having a baby.

Michael: Oh, cangradu-

Ranboo, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

[iamshawn]

Ranboo: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Tubbo: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Ranboo: Stop.