Shawn

I Don't Know

[iamshawn]

so badly want a penpal again to write letters to.

[iamshawn]

Show idea: A trans guy lives with a cis guy he met on craigslist. Cis guy seems big and scary jock type when he's actually sweet. The trans guy looks like a cinnamon roll, but says/does the most out of pocket/intrusive thought things. Cis guy: *reading and drinking coffee* Trans guy: *from other room* Shit! Cis guy: *runs into the other room* What's wrong?! Trans guy: *covering his mouth a little* I licked the computer charger and got electrocuted

[iamshawn]

If you think you're an idiot, just remember when I was getting my GED I went outside in the middle of a hail storm to yell "come at me bro" while my best friend hid under my bed

[iamshawn]

Sirius: How's the sexiest person here doing? Remus: I don't know, how is he? Sirius: *flustered* I- James: *from across the room* I'm fine thanks!

[iamshawn]

James: Sirius is that a hickey??? Sirius: It's a mosquito bite Remus: *walks in* Peter: Hey mosquito

[iamshawn]

Tommy: *staring at a dead Wilbur* You know... He could be faking it Tubbo: Yeah what are you gonna do, poke him with a stick? Tommy: *reaches for stick* Tubbo: *makes him lower it* dude no

[iamshawn]

Fwip: Where's Joel? Sausage: Sleeping in I guess Fwip: Do gods sleep? Sausage: I know he takes a lot of long showers Fwip: Right! And sings too. Like crappy old folk songs. I had to tell him to cool it like three times Sausage: You told a god to cool it? Fwip: Yeah I sleep

[iamshawn]

Sausage: What's the word for when your hands are bisexual? Joel: Do you mean ambidextrous? Sausage: I'm in love with you

[iamshawn]

Lizzie: So how old is the little guy?

Sausage: Oh easy he's-

Sausage: *pause before looking at Hermes* Um how old are you?

Hermes: *age redacted*

Joel: That's some lore right there

[iamshawn]

lol the world my never know (look at tags zdy-simpsimps put)

[iamshawn]

Scott: You know what they say? Jimmy: Obey the law and turn the other cheek? Scott: Be gay, do crime

[iamshawn]

Sausage: You were going to shoot me?! Lizzie: You're a zombie! Sausage: I'm a tax payer!

[iamshawn]

Joel: My favorite part about making an omelette is the exact moment where you know you're making scrambled eggs instead

Lizzie: *giggles and glances at Fwhip*

Fwhip: Don't come for me like this

[iamshawn]

Fwhip: Do British and Scottish people not drink ice tea as much as Americans do? What do they drink during the summer?

Scott: Tea

Joey: But it's hot

Jimmy: Only tea

Lizzie: There are no other drinks

Oli: Only tea

Fwhip: What... What if you don't like tea?

Joel: Then the weak shall die

Lizzie: Natural selection

[iamshawn]

Philza: I remember the "selling their kid on ebay" story Tommy: Who sells their kid on ebay? That's nuts! That's a child. A living being you made!

Tubbo: Tommy exact- Tommy: That shit goes on etsy

[iamshawn]

Jimmy: You owe me, like, a dollar! Joel: You'll have to kill me for it!

[iamshawn]

Shelby: *to Katherine* When are we going to get married? Katherine: I- Joey: *from a distance to Shelby* Fuck off! I found her first!

[iamshawn]

Scott: I am the Chromia Guardian, guardian of Chromia. Jimmy: The Warden quivers before him! Scott: *to the Warden* FUCK OFF!