@wearingaberetinparis it's keeping me up at night. Please hurry 😂
“Where have you been?” James thunders.
“Getting ingredients,” Lily responds as casually as her breathless lungs allowed. She heaves a gulp of air as she sets the herbs on the old wooden benchtop of the abandoned cottage, her eyes sliding to the bandage adorning Sirius’ shoulder.
James’ hazel eyes blaze so furiously that Lily wonders if his magic might pour out of him until her hard-won herbs are no more than smoking ash. “Where did you get these?” The knot in his jaw works overtime, his body strung so tight he’s almost unrecognizable from the lanky teenager who sauntered the Halls of Hogwarts a decade earlier.
Lily busies herself, aimlessly opening the dusty timber drawers in the guise of looking for a knife she she knows damn well is tucked away at the end of the counter.
“Tell me you didn’t.” His voice is barely the hiss of a killing curse, but its potency is equally deadly. “Not alone.”
Lily bends her knees to open a lower cupboard so her eye roll is hidden from James’ fury. “Of course not!” Lily says brightly — unable to stop her tongue from provoking his outrage further — “Hermes came with me.” Her owl is (wisely) nowhere in sight.
Lily rises in time to catch Remus’ furrowed brow as he winces into his hand before her attention is pulled to the apoplectic hazel-eyed wizard across from her. His hands press so firmly into the counter, it is a wonder it doesn’t crumble under the frenzy of his ferocity. The veins of his forearms bulge as his magic escapes his pores to cling to his body in a pulsing rage. The thump thump of his carotid beats wildly at his neck.
“Why didn’t you take one of us with you?” Sirius asks with far less bite than his brother.
“You were busy,” Lily nods at his shoulder, “and he would have…” Lily trails off as she imagines the lengths James may have gone to if he’d known she was sneaking in to the Death Eater encampment they’d been tailing. Would he have dulled her? Stunned her? Physically pinned her to the ground? Her eyes finish their trail up his tense arms to the solidness of his chest and her body flushes burning hot as images of him pressed over her infiltrates her mind. “...he would’ve said no,” she offers half-heartedly, distracted as she is by the thought of him.
“Damn right I would have said no!” The wood of the counter stands no chance against the might of James’ magic as it surges with his anger: large caverns run in a spiderweb from his clenched fist.
Lily inhales sharply, stumbling back in surprise; James never loses control of his magic. He’s been upset plenty of times; she’s been on the end of his sharp tongue and overprotective passion more than once. But this? His eyes hold no sparkle; the desolate torment of them strikes her still as stone. When he clocks her stumble, he crumbles in agony, twitching in a full-body flinch as the fight abruptly leaves him.
“I’m sorry.” It was whispers, shoulders slumped and head low. Before Lily has a chance to open her mouth, he’s out the door, the cool breeze from his exit does nothing to awaken her from where she frozen.
“I’ll go,” Sirius murmurs after a moment of silence.
“No. Me.” Blood rushes back into her limbs as they move under her. “Dice these, will you Remus?” She’s gone before either can protest, her eyes finding him hunched under the large tree they’d strung their wards from. With each step, the rough pain of his ragged breathing pierces deeper in her chest until Lily can sink onto her knees in front of him.
“You didn’t frighten me, I was just surprised,” Lily gently pulls his hands from his face, wiping the wetness on his cheeks.
“I promise,” she reiterates when his look remains painfully dubious. “We’ve been through ten years of fighting James Potter and if there’s one thing I would stake my life on, it’s that you’d never hurt me.” The loosening of his shoulders tells her that he believes her, but his gaze remained on the ground.
Lily reaches for his hand, running her fingertips over the callouses born from combat. She squeezes once and waits.
“I can’t lose you, I —” his voice breaks.
“You would have done it,” Lily reminds him gently. “Your life isn’t less important than mine.” The thought of losing him is unbearable.
James shakes head in what Lily knows to be vehement disagreement, but his indignance overcomes his pain and his eyes shoot to hers. They both freeze. Moments of the last decade bleed together in a fragile could he? As the emotion flowed from his eyes to hers, his magic runs wild – less violent than minutes earlier, but no less passionate — dancing over her skin until her own escapes to meet him. His fingers tighten on her while his magic leaves her breathless as it transforms from pain to hope as he stares back at what she thinks might be a mirror of his emotions. No mask. No pretend. It’s all there now.
“Lily?” he whispers. Suddenly, she just knows.
She moves first, letting her lips melt into the warmth of his. There’s a moment of stillness before a mad laugh escapes James’ lips, his breath dancing on her skin before firm hands hook behind her knees, yanking her to press fully against him. As far as first kisses go, she’s never had one that feels so much like home. The taste of him is relief; his body her solace; and Lily sinks willingly into both.
