#random personal rambling

[ilclaudio]

I used to be an incredibly self conscious person. I was shy and anxious and I feared people around me. Over time I've grown and now I'm pretty happy about how I socialize and I'm confident enough to know that people like me and that I'm a cool enough dude.

However, none of this matters when I have to message people. I don't get why, I don't get how, whenever I have to send a DM to someone my mind just freezes. The send button looks like an insurmountable wall, like I'm doing something wrong by messaging them, like I'm just bothering them, it's just like how I felt a couple years ago. Why does this happen to me? I'm soo much more extroverted than I was before, but this aspect somehow refuses to change.

[demisexualdiaz]

Am I rambling more about figuring out my sexuality?? You betcha!!!

Its funny, since Ive been thinking about it a lot, I realized that once I came to terms with liking girls  I just automatically went ‘OK im bi now’ and just never even thought about my attraction to guys. And that i really didnt think about them much at all except fleeting crushes on characters in shows. Like I was ‘I obviously like guys... but GIRLS’ and never thought about it more until i finally told someone about liking girls. idk??? I just cant believe Ive known that ive liked girls for at least 3 years now and didnt realize that I basically never thought about guys at all??? like brain what is up?? Also I dont get how I can KNOW i like girls but then spend months going ‘but how do I know if I actually like guys or not????’ Anyways this has been fun!! lol Im still questioning every day but have just decided to go with the assumption that I do not like men bc even when I get crushes on fictional characters all I have to do is go ‘what if they walked up to me in real life?’ and Im immediately like ‘nope’ so that has been a good system so far!!

[sassqueenraven]

I'm at a wedding and I'm fancy as hell. Also, the food is delicious.

[deathdxfying-blog]

I'm kind of looking forward to joining a frat at the college I'm planning to go to... But then at the same time one of them literally hazed someone to death... So I mean... IDK, man.

[paulthomaskubrick]

I've been feeling a bit down lately because all my friends get drunk and high and are having hella fun at parties and literally i am the only one who hasn't done anything and part of me wants to do what they're doing but the other part of me realizes this might be me feeling out-of-place and just tryin' to fit in (no one's pressuring me to do anything). Idk, I just felt like posting about this somewhere.

[riversing]

Sometimes other people's reactions on Tumblr make me question my humanity.

The most recent Teen Wolf episode did not cause me to sob into a pillow, go apoplectic with anxiety, or explode with emotion.

I mean...I liked it. It was cool. But I didn't shed a single tear.

Is there something wrong with me?

[riversing]

I watched the new Hobbit movie trailer: A Nonsensical Collection of Rambling by Riversing

MIDDLE-EARTH

But I didn't like the first Hobbit movie much

LEE PACE

Wait his accent isn't that good

OH MY GAWD LEE PACE

BADASS FEMALE ELF

I love badass females who shoot things!!

Man, Martin Freeman is great. I love that guy.

Okay, blah blah blah where's the dragon.

Still no dragon.

Okay, maybe we won't see the dragon.

But I feel like...they're really building....

(Says out loud to the empty room): "Come on, come on...!"

DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON

OH MY GAWD IT'S A PERFORMANCE CAPTURE DRAGON IT TURNED ITS HEAD THAT MEANS MY CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND TURNED HIS HEAD IN A BLUE SUIT WITH DOTS BE STILL MY HEART

*Shrieks and runs around like a little kid who just got a trip to Disneyland for Christmas*

[monstermoviedean]

Followers, if you're still there, please let me apologize for spamming.

I have a lot of free time since I've been freed from hell school and I don't really know what to do with myself and I'm done watching SPN on Netflix but I still have a lot of unresolved feelings and I don't want to do anything that involves interacting with people so I sit in my room on Tumblr and that's pretty much it. So sorry. Continue on with your everyday lives.

Hey, while I'm already coming off as insane, I might as well plug this in: send stuff to my ask box! Top 3 anything! Favorite ___! Who are you and why are you spamming me with crap? Go for it.