#randomly so

[carlemondemedeteste]

It is in moments like this that a friend should understand that I am irrevocably sad. And I wish someone would just be willing to hug me and say things will be fine, without the need for me to say, I am in fact, quite sad. And it's 2 am and I haven't spoken to many people all day, but there's a single picture that I reblog when I miss a certain someone and people who know me well enough should realize just who I reblogged it from and thus my current state of mind. I don't like to forget people and I think that's my biggest flaw.

[rosegoldrebels-archive]

Astronaut!!!!

Dean Winchester, 4x07

[bisexualstever0gers]

Originally I was going to say 'no one knows that' but I got paranoid that one of my IRL friends would message me and be like, "Everyone knows that XP."

I'm just terrified of people knowing that I'm wrong about anything, ever. Or the idea of them knowing how I really feel about things sometimes terrifies me too. But the idea of no one knowing how I feel about things makes me afraid as well.

The idea of people talking about me makes me nervous. The idea of anyone having a thought about me, trying to figure me out, terrifies me.

And then things like monsters and ghosts and things terrify me.

And dying. People dying terrifies me. My mom, my dad, my brothers, my friends, anyone in my family. That is horrifying.

And maybe that's why I like to write tragedies. I like to know that there's life beyond that tragedy, there's a way to be happy in the end... Or if there isn't, I like to know that it's not unchartered territory. It's nothing I haven't dealt with before, at least through writing.