#randyalex

[thatrandyalexfroma03]

Zach returns

https://archiveofourown.org/works/69124441/chapters/179145061

I would like to thank @betterthanfakemouthstatic and @do-androids-dream-ao3acc for helping with chapter one.

[thatrandyalexfroma03]

Is it better to be alone, or cling to this sinking ship?

Chapter Eight

Beta'd by the amazing, story saving @betterthanfakemouthstatic and @do-androids-dream-ao3acc

Thank you for everyone who reads and leaves a comment

[thatrandyalexfroma03]

New Chapter

Chapter ten of Is it better to be alone or cling to this sinking ship < Click here

Featuring Zach Whump!

Trigger warnings for Character death, Gun Violence and Child Trafficking.

Cheers - as always to the amazing @do-androids-dream-ao3acc and @betterthanfakemouthstatic for saving my readers from my spelling, my random word choices and tense jumping Also, Kyle Kuznik makes a perfect Zach - a vain, pretty fuck boy but god its hard to watch one of his videos, so it was easier to beat the shit out of Zach in this chapter.

[thatrandyalexfroma03]

Tommy/Lucy/Zach - lunch break suffering

Another Zach WIP, because I apparently can not focus on one project.

In which Tommy and Lucy try to teach Zach a lesson in Nice Guy TM:

Some days Tommy wonders if Zach is going to survive to his twenty-fifth birthday.

Not because the idiot does something reckless on the job, although he does that to a point that Tommy feels for Bobby dealing with Buck and he’s not even Zach’s captain but more because he’s pretty sure Lucy is going to snap and kill him with his bare hands.

Case in point:

Lucy is on break, sitting in the sunshine with her protein bar at one of the picnic tables when Tommy joins her. It’s nice and peaceful, the sun is shining and everything is fine.

Until.

“Damn,” comes a voice from behind them. “Someone call the cops, ‘cause it should be illegal to have this much sexiness in one location.”

Lucy doesn’t even flinch. “Zach,” she says coolly, “how nice of you to ruin…sorry I mean join us.”

Tommy smothers a grin as Zach plops himself on the tabletop with his phone in hand, sunglasses on, ego fully charged.

“Juicy Lucy and Tasty Tommy,” Zach greets with the kind of confidence only someone utterly lacking in self-awareness could muster. “What’s good, team?”

Tommy glances at Lucy, who rolls her eyes though it’s more fond exhaustion than actual irritation at this stage. Early days. Hope still flickers.

“Peace. Quiet. Intelligent conversation,” Lucy replies sweetly, biting into her protein bar.

“I could do with some of that intelligence.” Zach said, tilting to look over at the other two as Tommy hid a laugh behind a cough and Lucy smirked.

“Could you, Zachy?” she asks, tilting her head. “Could you use some intelligence?”

Frowning for a moment, as if he could almost tell he was being mocked but unable to quite grasp it, Zach instead opted to go for his question, or statement as he looked at his phone.

“Okay, real talk,” he begins. “Why do chicks always say they want a nice guy but then go get railed by half the party and end up single moms? Like, what’s the deal?”

The silence that follows is seismic.

Lucy shifts, in her spot, in her body language and in her face as Tommy tries to educate his rapidly offside probie and offer him a way out of getting murdered.

Tommy immediately tries to throw a verbal life ring. “Zach,” he corrects gently, “maybe you wanna… reconsider that phrasing?”

Zach squints at him, baffled of course because why have an inch of critical thinking in that head of his “Why? It’s literally facts. Like, hashtag sorry not sorry, but all these skan…” 

Zach is cut off and there’s a solid ‘oof’ noise as Lucy smacks Zach hard in the chest      , although clearly not as hard as she would like to. 

“Hey! That was uncalled for, Tommy saw that too.”

“Tommy agreed with it.” Tommy corrected and now Zach looks doubly betrayed because there is not a single brain cell in his over gelled head. 

He sits up, swinging his legs around so he’s seated between them, hands flailing for dramatic effect. “Hold up, no, no, no.Look right? I spent like the whole week helping this chick and her sister, from lifting their bloody boxes, carrying groceries, being a total gentleman and then get this right? She fucking friendzones me and ends up getting railed by, like, two guys at this party last night. Two. So tell me right now what is even the point of being a nice guy?”

Tommy leans back, folding his arms. “Well, you are a nice guy, Zach.”

Zach brightens. “Thank you! Someone gets it”

“No,” Tommy corrects, “you’re a Nice Guy™. Capital letters. Trademarked. You were only being nice because you thought it’d get you laid.”

Lucy nods. “And now that it didn’t, you’re acting like the world owes you something. Which makes you... what’s the word?”

“A douchebag,” Tommy supplies.

“Exactly,” Lucy agrees. “A self-pitying, fedora-wearing, Reddit-scrolling pig in a man suit.”

Zach points, scandalized. “Okay, first of all, I don’t even own a fedora…”

“Yet,” Lucy mutters darkly.

“And second, how am I being the asshole here?”

Tommy gives him a long, tired look. “Because you think kindness is currency. You act like it’s a transaction. You deposit some boxes, and in return, you expect sex.”

Lucy chimes in, voice cool as ice. “Women are not vending machines you shove kindness coins into until a blowjob falls out, Zach.”

Zach looks between them, clearly trying to calculate the odds of digging his way out of this and realizing he forgot his metaphorical shovel. “Hold on, hold on a moment, I never said that, what I said was instead of picking me, a nice guy who would have taken her to the movies, she chose out of her own free will to be gang banged by two dudes at a party last night.”

Lucy stared at him, unimpressed. “And?”

Zach chewed his bottom lip. “What do you mean and?”

“I mean, is it wrong for a single girl to have fun?”

Zach threw his hands up. “Well, I mean depending on the state…”

Tommy groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

Lucy didn’t blink. “Okay. You’re officially done talking. You’re on conversational probation.”

Zach gestured wildly. “I’m just saying! I was respectful, I was totally chill”

Cue no answer from Tommy and Lucy, just a disappointed look.

“Okay fine Mister and Misses know-it-all…” he says slowly. “So... hypothetically... what should I have done?”

Tommy tilts his head. “Maybe just be nice because it’s the right thing to do.”

Zach shakes his head, “Uh, dude, I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to fuck, like why the fuck am I being nice to these bitches just so we can hang out and get coffee? No, I’m nice to them so they sit on my dick”

Lucy looked pained, and torn being smacking Zach and walking away, “Fuck, you really can be a sexist pig, you know that right?”

“Uh newsflash, I support women, I always tip big at the strip bars and I voted for Kamala and Hilary.”

Lucy bit her lip hard enough Tommy was worried she was going to chew through it before she took a breath, “I’m sorry, you expect me to believe Alpha man Zach Anderon, worshipper of Andrew Tate and his heathen voted for Kamala, and Hilary… you didn’t vote for Trump, at all?”

Confused by the change in subject, Zach actually looks deep in thought, “ I mean, I guess I kinda should tell people I did vote Trump because then I’d be supporting a winner but like, nah not for me, he’s kinda gross right? Like have some class bro.”

Tommy is also lost for a second, and maybe impressed, it’s hard to tell. 

Although it comes crashing back to earth in a heartbeat. “And like who would want to deport all those sexy latina’s am I right? Tan skin and tequlia, we should be importing more of them.”

Followed up by an oddly relevant political comment (sort of?) given Tommy whiplash ….

“Plus, I don’t get all the who-rah over Hilary having emails, everyone has emails… and then like, oh my god, she likes pizza, dude everyone likes pizza.”

“I think it was the fact she was storing them on a private server.” Tommy answered. “We won’t touch Pizza-gate because that is a load of rubbish.”

“Well, I’d let her store my email on her private server.” Zach says with a wink and a nudge. “You just know under that stone cold persona is a freak waiting to be unleashed.” He then leans in, which Tommy knows is going to be terrible because Zach’s face tells him he think it’s going to be amazing.

“Picture it right, the world is in strife, she’s sitting behind that desk in the White House, finger over the big red button while I’m just eating that pussy out. Imagine telling that to the next generation, while the world was on the brink of war I was eating out the President.” 

Yup, Tommy was right, that was terrible. 

Lucy makes a noise and Tommy just looks away as Zach looks at both them before frowning, “Please, now you’re being sexist dudes, like if her husband can get a blowie in the White House then why can’t Hilary get some Zach-juice on her power suits, equal ops no?”

Rubbing her chin, Lucy looks over to Tommy, “Why do we let him talk to us?”

“Because I’m the coolest person you know.” Zach answered, “Anyway, you guys got distracted and didn’t answer my question.” 

“Maybe,” Tommy says after a beat, “You should take your own advice about politics when it comes to dating”

“T-Bone, I do not follow whatever you’re trying to say.”

Tommy resists the urge to sigh but only just, “Trump…” he prompts, referencing Zach’s comment about having some class. Zach does not get the reference, which to be fair, Tommy should have seen coming a mile away.”

“Grab them by the pussy? I dunno, like that kind of goes against that whole consent thing you keep waffling on about.” Zach chews his bottom lip again, “besides, I know you’re like gay, but have you tried grabbing a pussy, like they’re not made for grabbing, they’re made for….”

Lucy was going to kill him, “Is ‘Grab them by the pussy’ your advice?” 

“No of course not, it’s what Trump said, but Tommy said…”

“I meant,” Tommy said slowly because comprehension was apparently not a thing, “have some class. Be a gentleman. Not because you want to get laid but because it’s the decent thing to do.”

Zach nodded slowly, like he was processing the information, then ruined it again not even a second later.

“Okay, but I do want something. So like…”

“Zach…”

“For fuck sake, you were young right dawg? Like you must know what it’s like, all you want to do is suck cock as much as you can before you get all sad and old like you two.”

There’s another silence before Zach goes bright red, “I meant, wait no, clearly meant getting my cock sucked, as much as I can, by so many chicks… just so many chicks, sucking my dick,not the other way around.”

“Clearly,” Lucy said dryly, biting off each syllable like it hurt her soul to even speak to him. “So, let me ask, are you actually upset because you want something with her? Or are you just mad that she’s fucking someone who isn’t you?”

Zach looks put out at the question, because all three of them know the answer. 

He shifted in place. “I mean… I’m not looking to get married or anything. That’d be wild, right? I’m still young. Untameable. You can’t just…like…lasso this,” he said, gesturing vaguely at himself like that explained everything.

Tommy gave him a flat look. “Right. A real wild stallion. Roaming free across the land, shirtless, reeking of Axe Africa, and covered in budget tattoos that look like they were drawn during a minor earthquake.”

Zach clutched his chest like he'd just been mortally wounded. “Excuse moi! These tattoos are art, bro. Literal art. Each one tells a deep, emotional story about who I am as a person.”

Tommy didn’t bother to try and even dignify that with words. Instead, he grabbed Zach’s arm and twisted it around, presenting the inner forearm to Lucy like it was Exhibit A in a courtroom. “Right. And this one?” He pointed at the block of Thai script, three whole sentences, inked in slightly wobbly lines.

Now, Tommy knew what it said, or at least what Zach believed it said. That wasn’t the point. The point was to shame him.

“Dude I’ve told you a million times, bro. It’s an ancient Thai proverb. Real spiritual stuff. It has some mystic power that makes women want to sleep with me. Something about like, ‘power, strength, and... fertility.’”

“See,” Tommy deadpanned at Lucy, “Deep and meaningful.”

Lucy pulled at her phone and took a picture of the tattoo, which Zach loved, “You like the ink Juicy?”

“Call me Juicy one more time…”

Tommy grabbed Zach’s arm, “Don’t” he warned because Zach was stupid enough to do that. 

Lucy ran the translator app over the photo, and it wasn’t perfect because it was ink on skin and the app was only an app and not a person but she got a rough idea of what it said.

She blinked at the screen a few times, oh this was gold. Then, keeping a straight face, looked up at Zach.

“So… who told you what it meant?”

“The Thai lady who did it,” Zach replied full of confidence. “She told me right after I got it done. I was in Thailand, remember? Because I am a man of culture.”

“Huh, right, and did you do any research into it.”

“Um, no, I can’t read Thai, but you don’t have to be able to read it for it to work, it just has to be on your body.”

Lucy grinned wide, almost pitying. “And it is on your body, forever, lucky you.”  

“Anyways, this isn’t about my frankly amazing taste in art work, this is about me putting in the effort and getting nowhere.”

“I know, and even with the tattoo. It’s a mystery.” Tommy agreed mockingly. 

“But,” Zach continued, ignoring the sarcasm like it was a background hum, “I dunno. We could’ve dated for a bit, you know? After all, she said I was cute, right? And funny! I sent her fire memes!”

Lucy gave Zach a mock sympathy look. “And she still didn’t throw herself at your feet? Shocking.”

“So let me get this straight,” Tommy said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You wanted to sleep with her. She didn’t want to sleep with you. And now she’s… what was the word? A shank?”

Zach clicked his tongue a few times, like he was about to drop some hard truths.

“Okay. First of all, I didn’t say she was a shank. That was, like, implied shade, maybe. But second, you gotta admit right? Like it stings a little when you play the long game and then some fucking random dude who doesn’t even have abs just rocks up and ruins it before it even beings yo. Like he wasn’t even hot T-Bone and the other guy, well, he was alright I guess, had a cute face.”

Lucy leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “Did you ever, even once, tell her how you felt?”

Zach screwed up his face in disgust at the notion. “Uh… no? That’s gay man”

Tommy already had the fuck off face ready for when Zach turned to him, “Not like you’re gay, your a cool gay. A very manly gay, like…” gesturing at Tommy, “Very Daddy T.”

Lucy “I can’t believe I’m wasting my lunch break on this, but what are you looking for Zach?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t huh me, what are you looking for? A one night stand, a girlfriend… a boyfriend?”

Zach opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked genuinely, almost tragically confused. “Ahh, like Luce why would you think I would want a boyfriend, like I’m completely straight…”

“As an arrow.” Tommy added flatly. 

“Or spaghetti.” Lucy said with a grin.  

“Right weirdos, anyways, like why does this even matter?” Zach sulked, as if he was the one being harassed.

“Because,” Tommy stated, “If you were looking for something more, like a relationship then it’s okay to be sad that it didn’t work out, but you still can’t call her a skank. If you were just looking for a one night stand you definitely can’t call her a stank for sleeping with someone else when you had no commitment, and no, meme’s do not count.” 

“Reserve that for when someone cheats on you, then it’s acceptable, but otherwise, it’s just being a pig.” Lucy commented.

Zach raised his hands, exasperated. “Wait a minute, I can’t call her a c, but you can can call me a pig? How is that fair?”