#ranting yet again

[w4iting-s1l3ntly]

i wanna complain about school so hard rn...

I go back to class on march 3rd... explodes evrything...

[loony2star]

Not so little rant, but how come when I've been relapsed for more than a month, and am actively doing shit i shouldn't, my parents couldn't care less to notice, but the moment my sister is just the smallest bit hurt she's the center of literally everything, like yes I do feel bad for her, and am helping comfort her, BUT I'M STANDING HERE HIDING MY BANDAGE WRAPPED, BLEEDING LEGS WITH BAGGY PANTS SO I DON'T GET IN TROUBLE like wtf mom and dad, I think you made it clear who you favor :/

[lionzyon]

I mean honestly guys wth do you do if you and your boyfriend don’t even talk anymore. Like i mean don’t even send reels or none of that. I wanna break up with him but i can’t because he makes me feel so bad about it. It’s like if i tell him “i wanna break up” he’s gonna be like “why baby, why do you wanna break up, i love you, i want you” and just a bunch of bullshit but it’s like you have zero respect for me?? How do you break up with someone that won’t take no for an answer?

This is why i hate being so emotional because i feel bad about everything, even when its in my best interest to do.

The other week we were otp, both on mute and doing our own things. He goes “baby what are you doing?” I was like “watching yt, what about u?” And you know what he says? That he was jerking off.. i’m on the phone with you because i’m in a bad mood and i didn’t wanna be alone and you’re fucking touching yourself? Wtf is wrong with you? I felt so disgusted and disrespected that I literally just hung up, i couldn’t deal with it.

Am i tripping or is that so weird and rude to do without saying anything? Like i feel like that’s something you get permission for first incase the other person is uncomfortable with that (which i was). Like jerking off otp w someone unconsensually?? You just don’t do that.

I’m so sick of him begging me to send him nudes when i already said no multiple times and him doing weird stuff like that. Once i sent him a selfie of literally just my face and he was like “i’m gonna goon to this” like it’s not funny that makes me uncomfortable. To this day i’m not 100% sure if he actually did or not (tho i feel like he did) but the thought makes me feel violated. I can’t deal with this anymore i genuinely am sick of him.

[lionzyon]

Okay so rant about my boyfriend.

So i’m gonna start by saying i make adult content and no i’m not ashamed about it. Anyways we met through me doing that and seriously just don’t judge me for it bc i already have people in my life doing that and it hurts.

So we’ve been dating for like 3 weeks now (yes I’m keeping track, i’m that kind of person) and immediately when we first started dating I felt like something was off.. like his vibe was just weird yk?

Now i’m at a point where I feel like he’s dating me for my body. He always makes way too many jokes about me sending him nudes or he sends me reels that are like “if she doesn’t answer in 10 seconds she has to send you a picture of her doing *enter inappropriate pose*” and recently he started asking about doing things over the phone.

Now you’re probably thinking “if you’re comfortable posting your body online why aren’t you comfortable sending it to your bf?” And the answer is i honestly don’t know. I kinda feel like when i post videos online I’m hiding my identity and no one has to know it’s me. But to do it personally it just makes me feel.. nervous i guess and having someone pressure you into it makes it worse. I guess if he was more gentle and not pressuring about it i would be more willing but he’s not.

I don’t wanna seem like a hypocrite or something but i just really don’t like sending nudes.. i have a bad history with sending nudes and unless i know someone very well then i don’t wanna do it. (For example if my best friend of 6 years asked for one i would probably send it, but a guy I’ve been dating for 3 weeks? No)

I feel like I can’t explain this without feeling like a hypocrite but it’s genuinely how i feel and idk what to do bc i feel bad breaking up with people.

[a-straight-white-man]

I hate those entitled little cis fuckers who act like they're the center of the god-damned universe

"Oh, I'm not transphobic, I'll acknowledge trans women as women if they actually bothered to put in the effort to look like it, they've gotta work for it"

"I'll call you a man if you act like one, never ever express one ounce of femininity and also you've got to laugh at all my misogynistic jokes"

Sexist little self centered fuckers, maybe not everything trans people do is for you.

excuse my french.

[madness-of-void]

In the continuing trend of shit happening to me that's small and insignificant but because it doesn't slow down I am having a time: one of my good luck charms, a bracelet, broke. It isn't the type of material that can be fixed, and the shop I bought it from no longer sells it...or anything for that matter.

[madame-airlock]

How I love living with anxiety mixed with growing up with hearing so much bad shit thrown at me.

I especially love feeling physically sick if I have to text certain people, like friends I don't text daily or those with whom I'm not super close.

The second I hit send I can hear my mother in my head telling me that the people who claim to be my friends actually aren't, they put up with me because they have to and because they feel bad or take pity on me.

"Oh it's been so long, we haven't talked in over a month" yeah because if I send you more than one text or one single text that is over three lines I feel like a burden and that I don't deserve your attention, that you should be doing better things.

Someone kill me please.

[madness-of-void]

You know...today was not the day for all these people that like to be assholes/stupid to come out and test me