#raya skit

[isitbussinjanelle]

Sisu: so are you and Raya like dating or-

Namaari: nope, just friends.

Raya: -with benefits.

Namaari:...friends...

Raya: -with...benefits...

Namaari: FRIENDS

Raya: -WITH BENEFITS

Namaari: FR-

Raya: WE CAN GO BACK AND FOURTH YOU WONT WIN

[isitbussinjanelle]

Namaari: shut. The fuck. Up.

Raya: oh your just salty because [says louder] RAYA BEAT YOU IN ARM WRESTLING >:D YESSS! YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE?

Sisu: uh- she beat you in arm wrestling? H-how? That’s like, impossible.

Namaari: ugh...

*earlier during arm wrestling*

Raya: [trying so so hard to push her arm down] I’m gonna win, binturi. [strains]

Namaari: [not having to try as hard] that’s cute dep la, that you think you’ll win. [laughs]

Raya: [leans in & kisses her nose] I love you ;)

Namaari: [forgot how to function] wha huh- [hand falls]

Raya: YES YES YES IT WORKS EVERY TIME! I BEAT YOU I WIN I WIN HA HA HA HA

Namaari: WHAT?! UM NO! YOU CHEATING LITTLE WHORE YOU DISTRACTED ME

Raya: EXCUSES EXCUSES HA HA HA >:)

*present time*

Namaari: that’s why I “lost”.

Sisu: yep. That explains it, [mumbles] softy...

Namaari: H-HEY!

[isitbussinjanelle]

Raya: UGHHHH COME ON!

Namaari: what’s wrong?

Raya: Noi won’t eat her green beans.

Noi: ga ha goo bla ha ga (translation: you can’t make me eat green sticks if you tried biatch).

Namaari: just try the airplane thing. That usually works with babies.

Raya: oh...OH!

(30 minutes later)

Raya: [waddles into the room in an airplane costume]

Namaari: what the- BAHAHAHAHA THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

Raya: you said airplane, so you [struggles] got airplane.

Raya: ALRIGHT NOI NOW EAT THE FUCKING VEGGIES

Noi: [balling her eyes out in fear]

Raya: EAT IT EAT IT NOW NOM NOM NOM

Sisu: I’m calling the cops.

Boun: way ahead of you.

[isitbussinjanelle]

Raya: hey Namaari, how far away is the moon?

Namaari: I am afraid that I do not have a rejoinder to your query.

Raya: uhh...what’s with all the fancy talk?

Namaari: I don’t believe my mind can discern what you are referring too by proper way of speech, comrade.

Raya: Namaari. Quit it.

Namaari: Quit what? Quit this lovely conversation that we as compatible equals are sharing amongst each other?

Raya: kick rocks Namaari.

Namaari: I’m not quite sure by what I you mean by “punt stones”

Raya: UGH NAMAARI IM GONNA KILL YOU

[isitbussinjanelle]

*Raya subbing for a language class of 8 year olds*

Raya: alright, these are easy to get confused, so let’s clear this up. This is a can opener, [points at a photo of a can opener]

The kids: [all nod in awe]

Raya: and this is a leg opener [points to a photo of Namaari]

The kids: [all nod in awe]

One kid: [raises his hand] what’s a leg opener?

Raya: oh a leg opener is someone who-

Sisu: NOPE NOPE WERE NOT GETTING INTO THAT RIGHT NOW NOPE

Raya: Sisu! I’m teaching.

Sisu: THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE LANGUAGE NOT SEX ED.

Raya: I’ve...taken upon a new style of language. Love language. My love language. 😏

Sisu: I REFUSE TO LET YOU CORRUPT THESE CHILDREN [takes up all the kids in her tail]

[isitbussinjanelle]

Raya: aren’t fingers just dicks for our hands?

Namaari: no nothing like that at all.

Raya: i mean think about it- I use my fingers to fuck you-

Namaari: RAYA

[isitbussinjanelle]

Raya rebellion

The Fang citizens have had enough.

(Inspired from @moon-spirit-yue‘s sapphic yearning series.)

Fang Soldier: Attention all citizens, gather round, gather round!

Fang Citizens: ??

Fang Solider: The Princess has declared a new law. Having braids in your hair is now strictly prohibited, and if you do have this hair style you are to be handled by Namaari her self.

Fang Merchant: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! OH GEE, I WONDER WHO HAS BRAIDS IN HER HAIR

Fang Baker: RAYA, THATS WHO! [points at Raya who’s eating at a bench]

Fang Merchant: C’MON MAN! HALF OF US FEMALES HAVE BRAIDS! RAYA IS TAKING OUR FREEDOM AWAY BY THE DAY!

Citizens: YEAH!

Raya: the fuck did I do-

Fang Baker: I SAY WE PUT AN END TO RAYA’S CAREER!

Citizens: YEAH!

Fang Merchant: GET HER! SHE HAS TO BE STOPPED

*herd of Fang people coming at Raya*

Raya: [drops her bowl of congee and sprints for her life] SHIT SHIT SHIT

Fang Baker: AND NOW SHE LITTERS? SHES GOTTA BE SET STRAIGHT NOW!

Raya: DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SET STRAIGHT? [still running]

Namaari: you can run as much as you want dep la but I will find you!

Raya: GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

Virana: [sighs and mumbles] what ever helps her little gay heart.

Fang merchant: DON’T LET HER GET AWAY!

[isitbussinjanelle]

[OKAY but imagine if Maui and Moana switched movies\ places with Raya and Namaari...?]

[with moana and Maui]

*both of them running for there lives*

Moana: WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK

Maui: GIANT PURPLE DEMONS GIANT PURPLE DEMONS

Moana: MAUI DO SOMETHING LIKE TURN INTO A HAWK OR A DOLPHIN OR SOMETHING ANYTHING

Maui: SO I CAN DIE LOOKING LIKE A FUCKING DOLPHIN UHH NO THANK YOU

Moana: DO YOU STILL HAVE THE DRAGON GEMS

Maui: WHAT?! NO I LOST THOSE HOURS AGO I THOUGHT YOU KNEW

Moana: fucking hell-

[with Raya and Namaari]

Raya: ugh...that was a long way down uh- where are we?

Namaari: I have no idea- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT A CRAB

Tomatoa: what are you humans- ohhh, shiny sword! Gimme

Raya: BACK OFF YOU GIANT CRUSTACEAN [flings sword]

Namaari: WHY IS IT COVERD IN GOLD THO

Tomatoa: because I’m so SHNAYYYYYYyyY

Raya: is it singing-