so the thing is that i became discouraged from doing this when the website first got fucked up overhauled and changed all the page numbers which made my work completely obsolete.
however now the website is completely unusable and the only way to read homestuck is via the fanmade compilation app--which i hear is going to have a browser version?
i do have a lot of warnings written up and not posted, and publishing those is the least i can do if someone can confirm whether the fan restoration project abides by the original page numbers?
Full page descriptions for all pages in section 14 with flashing images under the cut! Warnings for ableism, including the r slur, urophobia, and torture in this post. Trigger warnings by page for this section are in [link: this] post!
3259: In a future settled askance of the present...
A blue beam lances through the sky, cutting off the head of the frog atop the frog temple.
3262: A missile flies through the sky, leaving a trail of smoke.
Panel 2: WV flies through the air as the result of an explosion; Serenity blinks rapidly.
Panel 3: WV lands on his butt, his cans scattering everywhere. The pumpkin lands opening-down on his head like a hat with a FLOP.
Panel 4: AR’s crosshairs focus on WV.
3264: AR looks to the side.
Panel 2: PM lunges with a sword, her hat flying off.
3265: WV seems to panic, waving his meterstick-knife and frantically flailing back and forth. AR thrashes on the ground beneath PM, who holds him down on her knees. Serenity blinks frantically
3271: Jade begins to tilt back and forth, her eyes narrowed. She leans forward just a bit, then the JENGA logo flashes and she topples asleep, sending all of her items everywhere. Fertilizer gets all over and the squiddles land on her head.
3287: Jade turns around as Bec appears in a flash of green.
Narration: OH NO BUSTED.
The jig is up.
3288: Bec flashes and turns into a Bec-shaped cutout of Jade’s room, which then expands and takes over the whole image so Jade is standing alone on her bed.
Narration: You are returned to your bedroom without the rest of your loot. You doubt you'll have time to go back and get it. You guess you have inadvertently left your own time capsule there for whatever party may find it in the future. Lucky bastards!
3300: Dave types on his phone as Jade tries to place the cruxtruder. The wires on the floor flash red.
TG: hey wait
GG: these darn birds are in the way!
GG: what are they doing in your apartment anyway!!!
GG: also they are adorable
TG: i always keep birds in here its sort of my thing
GG: ohhhhhhh
GG: kind of like all those silly naked puppets are your bros thing?
TG: no no thats irony this is like
TG: sincere honest to god psychosis
TG: im training to be a lame gothy supervillain
GG: also i think i cant put it down because of the wires on the floor.....
TG: ok
TG: well maybe you should take the opportunity to put it somewhere that isnt stone cold r******d
GG: i wish i played more games
GG: this is hard!!!!
TG: no its not
GG: :P
3307: The loading screen is a map of the Incipisphere, with Skaia in the middle and a set of gates leading to the Land of Wind and Shade, Prospit by Skaia, and Derse far away from it. Then another set of gates and a planet appear, and we zoom in on it.
We travel across a glimmering sea with yellow flashing clouds raining colorful water into the sea, and white islands between. The words LAND OF LIGHT AND RAIN appear.
We zoom past this sea from a different angle, then see a larger one of these islands, with pink ruins and bricks set into it, along with
Rose stands in the rain, her headband, eyes, and squid symbol flashing.
We see what remains of Zazzerpan’s statue in the sand, then focus on Rose and zoom out to see her house in the land.
3332: Have a look around, Rose.
Rose scampers up the stairs from the roof into the observatory.
Panel 2: Rose looks out the window of the observatory, where light is shining in.
3333: You have much to discover.
Rose presses her hands against the glass and stares out into the flashing light beyond.
3334: John: Go over the river and through the woods.
John stands in front of the trees holding a wrinklefucker. Orange light flashes on him.
3335: A little salamander village, with three panicking salamanders. There are various imps, and a copper giclops, a large creature with one eye, an underbite, and spikes; plus two tar basilisks, black six-legged lizards with large mouths and forked tongues. All the underlings are dressed in jester clothes. One tar basilisk is breathing fire and has lit several roofs on fire.
3337: the toilet falls through the ceiling and hits the top of the cruxtruder and falls to the floor with a SLOP, scattering water everywhere. A small red exclamation point appears above Dave’s head. The cruxtruder now reads a countdown at 4:13.
3338: Dave looks agitated, posisbly shouting, as he types on his iPhone. Various crows have settled on the toilet. The kernelsprite has risen above the cruxtruder, flashing orange, black, and white.
TG: this is the worst shitting thing ive ever seen
TG: the thing that just happened
GG: hi dave!!!!
TG: jesus
TG: and the worst thing is
TG: all that juice i drank
TG: i mean
TG: you just HAD TO FIGURE all that juice was going to come back to haunt me
TG: like frankensteins incontinent fucking ghost
TG: it was like
TG: chekhovs juice
GG: hehehe what??
TG: let me be perfectly clear
TG: what i am trying to say is
TG: its like fucking christmas up in my bladder here
TG: and where do i find my toilet
TG: oh look here it is
TG: amputated in my room
TG: gagged with a towel like a fucking prison hostage
TG: and now the cruxploder is counting down
TG: 4 hours oh i guess thats not that bad
GG: 4 hours until what?
TG: what
TG: oh god
TG: are you asleep
3346: Jade’s cursor puts the dead crow, sword and all, into the kernelsprite, which flashes and covers the room in orange.
3347: Dave shouts at the kernelsprite, which floats above the cruxtruder, now the image of a bird head with a sword through it. The crows in the apartment fidget.
TG: wow awesome
TG: so now i guess instead having of a wise or helpful spirit guide sprite thing
TG: im stuck with this brainless feathery asshole
GG: what do you mean i just brought the cute birdie back to life!!!
GG: isnt he great?
TG: we need to wake you up
TG: youre not very logical like this
TG: kind of dumb really
GG: gosh im SOOOO SOOOORRY!!!!!!!!
GG: i was tired!
TG: yeah but come on you sleep like 20 hours a day
GG: well you are out of luck.....
GG: i will wake up when im good and ready!
3350: WV and AR sit on rocks with the cookalizer and refrigerator, Serenity blinking on the head of WV who is eating broccoli and lettuce. AR is eating a steak and some kind of poultry. The little happy fruits vibrate at the bottom of the screen. Each carapacian has a can of Tab, and the squiddle tangle buddies are sitting by AR. There is a pumpkin in the background.
3351: PM approaches WV and AR from behind, having left the station.
Panel 2: A speech bubble above AR’s head contains PM and the tangle buddy squiddles rapidly flashing.
Full page descriptions for all pages in section 13 with flashing images!
Trigger warnings by page for this section are [link: here].
3173: [I] SS: Occam's Razor. Crowbar's head. Make it hapen.
Spades throws the razor at Crowbar, who deflects with his crowbar. The razor turns into a card and embeds itself into Sawbuck’s head as it bounces off. Everyone appears in the colorful wasteland, where in the distance Spades Slick as a wanderer is visible.
Narration: Crowbar deflects the KING OF SPADES into Sawbuck's unmissable carriage. You jump far into the past.
3177: [I] SS: Just go stab Sawbuck until the time shenanigans stop
Spades holds a card, and when Sawbuck turns around, it turns into a switchblade and Spades slices him across the face, leaving an enormous bloody scar. Sawbuck closes his eyes and grimaces in pain.
You treat him to a bit of the old BAIT AND SWITCHBLADE.
You appear in the future. You guess this is after the gunfight is over. The gunfight that never took place since you killed/kidnapped everyone who was supposed to be involved. Looks like only Boxcars is here.
3182: [I] ==> Crowbar shoots Spades with a BLAM and Spades deflects it with his horse hitcher, which makes a DEFLECT sound effect. The gunfire deflects into Sawbuck, and all the clocks straighten themselves, the blood and Stitch disappear, and another Sawbuck appears unharmed in the background.
Narration: You deflect his gunfire into the awesome gravitational pull of Sawbuck's astonishing girth.
Everybody into the past!
3183: [I] ==>
Spades and the injured Sawbuck dodge out of the way as the uninjured Sawbuck and Crowbar draw their weapons at each other. There is a twin BLAM as they fire at each other, then they both disappear, each peppered with bullets.
Narration: You dodge his next round too.
It seems Sawbuck from this timeline (i.e. the "real" Sawbuck) was in this room at this point in time. He and Crowbar exchange bullets. Off they go.
They no doubt go on to spend the rest of their ammunition peppering each other throughout the timeline, destroying all these clocks in the process between now and the present. You guess that explains the mess when you got here. Thank God you figured that out. You'd have surely lost sleep over it.
20/107 CLOCKS REDESTROYED. FOR THE FIRST TIME. EVENTUALLY... YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVER MIND.
3184: [I] SS: Take a moment to think up some time-based one-liners
Spades jams his sword into Sawbuck. We jump to a present where all the clocks are destroyed by bullets and there is more blood around. Another Spades Slick is in the corner, holding the doll and about to remove Crowbar’s pin.
Narration: Ok you think you got one.
Time travel sure can be a...
DOUBLE EDGED SWORD.
[sunglasses emoji]
Wait, that was awful. Really really bad. You're sure you can do better than that.
3189: [I] PSS: Be Future Spades Slick.
Spades stabs Sawbuck with the Butterfly Effect Knife and the room transforms into a huge mess of blood. All the clocks are destroyed in horrible bloody ruins. Crowbar’s head is on the floor, as is face-scarred Sawbuck’s. Another Sawbuck head is on Crowbar’s body.
Narration: Being your future self is a lot more constructive because you get to do stuff you haven't already done.
Looks like you're in the future. It's a bloody mess in here. The clocks are more bullet-riddled than ever. And it seems Crowbar and both Sawbucks have been decapitated. You're almost certain this is something you will be, or were already, responsible for. Which of course means more time traveling.
Looks like the tub and chest are gone. Which means future-you must have packed up and left already. Got to take note of these sorts of things so you know where you are in the timeline.
You notice something on the wall over there...
3191: [I] SS: Quickly remove lance from Sawbuck.
Spades pulls the cigarette holder out of Sawbuck’s chest, which becomes a lance. The background changes to a slightly less horrible bloody mess. Sawsbuck is now in the Wrathtub with Stitch. There is a deck of cards at Spades’s feet.
Narration: You pry the CIGARETTE HOLDER from his torso. Whoops, another time jump.
This tub of goo keeps going for his gun. Widebody's gotta settle his big ass down.
You really should incapacitate him without inflicting another wound.
3195: [I] ==>
Crowbar and Sawbuck appear, injured and shooting at each other, and Spades slices off their and the face-sliced Sawbuck’s heads all in one slice with his sword.
Narration: Hate to chop all of your heads off with this sword. Real sorry about that. My bad.
You slay them all with your RAPIER WIT.
3214: [I] ==>
All the Eggs and Biscuitses disappear. The midnight crew stand alone in the safe room, Spades standing over the broken clock with the crowbar. The remaining Eggs, Biscuits, and oven are unharmed.
3215: [I] HB: Attempt to eat Eggs.
Hearts opens his mouth to an absurd monstrous width and fixes it around Eggs’s whole head. He bites it off and leaves a bloody stump.
Narration: Your attempt was an overwhelming success.
3223: [I] ==>
Clover’s eyes boggle and he holds up his hands. A tiny green exclamation point flashes.
Narration: Clover insists that you reconsider! Using that to pry open the vault would be EVER so much bad luck! Like breaking a thousand mirrors all at once! The sort of mirrors that tick and have numbers and tell time and stuff. That is the worst kind of mirror to break, luckwise.
3230: [I] ==>
Cans plows through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.
Narration: All of a sudden Cans plows through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.
3231: [I] DD: Resist urge to shout "Oh Yeah!”
Cans plows in with an apparent shout and punches Droog off the screen with the sound effect “CLOCK”.
Narration (in red italics): Oh No!
3233: [I] HB: Use Eggs' body as bait for Cans.
The words “BATTLE TECHNIQUE” flash in orange, red, and yellow.
Panel 2: HB throws Eggs’s body, with the words “TORSO FLAIL” flashing similarly.
Narration: You flail the torso Cans-ward in an attempt to placate him with the red meat.
3236: [I] SS: Ignore him and just pry the safe open.
Jack begins the attempt to pry open the safe with the crowbar. Purple lightning flashes everywhere. Clover does a little jig of terror. Cans looks around at Spades.
Narration: You don't care what the consequences are. You're going to crack open this safe and be done with it.
This whole intermission was starting to get a little punchy anyway.
3237: [I] ==>
The safe opens. The mansion is in ruins, with plumes of smoke coming from it and apparently fire in the distance.
Panel 2: Everyone is crossed off, except Sn0wman.
Panel 3: The Midnight Crew is all crossed off, except for Spades.
The massive release of temporal distortion from the vault transports you to a highly unfavorable timeline. Looks like the entire mansion was leveled, except for the vault and its enclosure. Everyone's dead except for you and you know who.
But at least the safe's open.
1000/1000 CLOCKS DESTROYED
14/15 GREEN TORSOS DEAD
3/4 BLACK SCOFFLAWS OFFED
3242: [I] SS: Get on with it.
Spades holds the card up, then a gun shoots a burning hole through it. Spades looks back toward the source, his mouth falling open, a question mark appearing by his face.
3246: Sn0wman’s whip wraps around Spades’s wrist, holding up her cigarette holder. With a BANG, she pulls off his arm. He grimaces in pain.
Section 13 starts at page 003168 [link: here] and ends at page 003257 [link: here]. This covers the rest of the intermission and ends at the start of act 4!
Trigger warnings by page under the cut.
Image descriptions for this section are [link: here]!
3170: blood
3171: blood, character death
3172: fat shaming, razors, swords
3173: flashing image
3175: violence
3176: fat shaming
3177: blood, violence, flashing image
3178: ableism, fat shaming
3180: ableist language
3182: flashing image, gunfire
3183: blood, gunfire, flashing image
3185: fat shaming
3189: flashing image, LOTS OF blood, dismemberment, decapitation
3191: fat shaming
3195: decapitation, character death
3198: blood
3210: impalement
3214: flashing image
3215: gore, cannibalism, blood, decapitation, character death
Full page descriptions for all pages with flashing images in section 12! Trigger warnings by page for this section are [link: here].
3090: [I] SS: Wear backup hat.
Die appears in a flash of light, holding a voodoo doll with four pins in it. Spades looks over at him.
Panel 2: Die blinks in surprise and confusion.
Narration: Die makes his usual sort of entrance. The nonplussed, vaguely bewildered sort.
3102: [I] ==>
The WHOP sound effect with a red star behind it appears on Droog’s face and he waves a cue stick in every direction.
Narration: Suddenly you get coldcocked in the face from the future.
You'd know the knuckles belonging to that suckerpunch anywhere.
3109: [I] ==>
Clubs Deuce goes in every direction while the cane flips over him and a bull flashes in the background. The words “BULL PENIS CANE” flash in small text above him.
Narration: You flip the fuck out over the fact that this is apparently a BULL PENIS CANE.
3115: [I] ==>
Die shoves the spade pin into the voodoo doll. In a flash he is in a colorful wasteland of rock and sand. In the sky there is a pink moon with a smaller pink moon around it, and a planet tinted green. Die looks terribly confused.
Narration: How many times does he have to tell you. He made this town.
3124: [I] ==>
The orange oven makes a BZZZZZ noise and Biscuits appears out of it in a flash of light. HB watches irritably.
Narration: Ugh, there he is.
This idiot thinks his special oven transports him into the future by the amount he sets on the timer. Well, he's sort of right. But in reality, all that's happening is that he's hiding in there until the timer's up, then pops out.
You guess he's relatively harmless if he's alone. You can take him. What you really have to worry about is if he teams up with...
Oh no. That ringing. That godawful ringing. You can hear it…
3125: [I] ==>
Three of Eggs appear, each holding a purple timer making a RIIIng noise. The first appears normal; the second is bleeding from the mouth and has his eye shut, is holding a war axe and is wearing HB’s hat. The third Eggs is holding Biscuits’s oven and is bleeding slightly less badly, but his hat is ripped up.
Narration: Eggs.
Son of a FUCK.
You might as well just grab one of your axes and kill yourself now.
3131: [I] ==>
Droog pulls out his cue stick and smacks Fin, who briefly appears and staggers back, then disappears again.
Narration: NOW.
3137: [I] SS: Help the green man live up to his name.
Die pulls the spades pin out of his doll and the wasteland disappears. He reappears in the mansion, where Spades pulls out a knife and slits his throat.
3153: [I] ==>
In a workshop with lots of sewing equipment and, of course, clocks, Stitch, with two pins in his mouth, scowls at a very long green coat on a mannequin. The lapels are all flashing different colors, and also flashing are various patches. The coat is torn in quite a few places. Behind Stitch is a mannequin with a purple hat.
Narration: Stitch mutters to himself in his shop. He guesses Eggs and Biscuits are roughhousing again, because the fabric of spacetime is tearing something fierce on Lord English's CAIRO OVERCOAT. This sort of thing is exactly why he keeps a BACKUP COAT, and always leaves Stitch with one of them.
Any gang does well to have an in-house doctor on hand. But if you deal in time travel you better have a damn good tailor too.
3157: [I] ==>
Fin falls dead on the floor. His effigy bursts into smoke.
Panel 2: Spades places the orange pin in the doll.
Panel 3: A red X flashes over Fin in the Felt roster.
Narration: Death.
8/15 GREEN TORSOS DEAD
3162: [I] HB: Prod idiots with Red Cheeks.
HB is assaulted with a line of ovens all flashing with a BZZZZZ sound effect. Lines of Eggs flash by, each holding a timer and Red Cheeks magazine.
Narration: This predictably accomplished nothing!
Taking your smut out of hiding turned out to be a very bad idea. Now copies from the future are appearing left and right and these clowns have their paws all over it.
SLICK WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU
3167: [S] [I] ==>
A black circle forms at the center of the screen, then turns into an 8 ball. The screen pans up the Midnight Crew and Felt in a shootout, up the stairs, where a shadowy woman in green appears, the stairway turning black. She descends the stairs, holding out a cigarette in a holder. She flashes in and out of view a couple times, until she stands in the middle of where the gunplay was happening.
A box appears at the bottom of the screen, reading “HOLD STILL, SLICK.” It appears to be in type. There is a flash of Clubs, Boxcars, Droog, and then Slick, who narrows his eyes and scowls up at her. We pan up on an image of Sn0wman, who holds her cigarette holder and appears to be smirking. The text box that shows up again says “SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE.”
The next shot has the pointy end of her cigarette holder embedded in Slick’s eye, spattering blood on his face, and her hand retreating. The background flashes purple and red. Slick opens and closes his mouth, perhaps in pain. Sn0wman, now smoking her cigarette plain, walks away and disappears. The flash fades to a black spade, which replaces the usual playback triangle.
Section 12 starts on page 003054 [link: here] and ends on page 003167 [link: here; if you watch the flash all the way through it contains blood, eye trauma, a flashing image, and shooting].
This section covers a little more than half of the intermission! Try to go in with as few expectations as possible, and be aware that the humor style is more like Problem Sleuth than the rest of Homestuck. Don’t give up if it’s not what you wanted out of the story at this point!
I won’t tell you not to skip the intermission (I personally don’t see why you would; I love it), but do at least come back and read it by the time you get to Doc Scratch and Spades Slick appears, in act 5. I’ll let you know when we get there ;)
Trigger warnings by page are under the cut! Image descriptions for this section are [link: here].
3055: fire, blood ment
3064: food
3065: ableist language
3066: smoking
3067: coprophobia
3076: ableism, animal death
3088: character death
3089: blood
3090: food
3091: flashing image, racism probably, scopophobia, blank eyes up close,
3094: food
3098: blood, threats
3102: flashing image, violence
3107: ableist language
3108: penis talk
3109: penis talk, flashing image, animals
3112: blood
3113: violence
3115: flashing image
3120: food, cannibalism, eye trauma
3121: sex talk i guess???
3124: flashing image
3125: flashing images, blood, suicide ment
3128: teeth, blood
3131: flashing image
3132: shooting
3133: ableist language
3137: flashing image, character death, blood, knives, neck trauma
3140: fire
3146: explosions, character death
3147: blood loss mention
3153: flashing image, hanging imagery
3156: hanging imagery, blood
3157: character death, flashing image, hanging imagery, smoke.
Under the cut! Trigger guide for the section in which it appears is [link: here]. Image descriptions for said section are [link: here].
3049: [S] Enter.
The loading screen is the Sburb logo on fire in the middle of a rainstorm. It turns back to the green logo in a speech bubble on Rose’s computer, as we see her room, then shift to Dave’s room, where his computer is showing a speech bubble with a spirograph inside. He has apple juice on his desk.
We go to the loading screen of Sburb, a morphing spirograph with a loading bar underneath and a list of silly loading actions a la The Sims.
We shift to a view of Dave’s sunglasses reflecting the loading screen, which then becomes a smaller image drifting on the side of the screen as Dave pops open his apple juice. The larger background image shifts to Rose waiting at her computer with her head in her hand, Mutie now awake at her side. More smaller images appear on the background, one of Dave drinking apple juice with a straw, one of Jade approaching the frog temple, and one of John holding up the wrinklefucker.
We zoom in again on Dave’s sunglasses and the reflection of his computer and a bit of the loading screen, then we see Jade looking up at and then running into the temple. The loading screen again, then Dave minimizes the window and draws Hella Jeff in MS Paint.
Small images appear at the corners of the screen, one of Dave’s hand moving the mouse, one of Jade in the temple. The larger picture turns to Dave’s face as a smaller picture shows Hella Jeff. The larger picture shows Rose moving her yarn ball to play with Mutie, then we zoom in on Hella Jeff again.
We zoom in on the last small picture, Jade in the temple, and see her dashing across the ‘elevator’ pad as the Sburb loading screen takes up the background. Jade looks up at what appears to be a giant flower, still unopened. We see a shot of the loading screen, then Rose’s computer shining in her face, with Mutie back asleep. The shot quickly zooms out the window, where the woods are on fire, the background replaced by the Sburb loading screen. We fade to black, then see the logo words SBURB.
The next shot is of meteors hailing from a starry night sky. A good portion of Rose’s house is entirely destroyed in a flash. Rose looks agitated as Dave moves her bed with his cursor and throws it outside into the flames. Rose looks resentful as Dave places the Totem Lathe where her bed was.
The cursor goes to place the Cruxtruder in the observatory. Rose stands at the window and has a speech bubble with Dave’s face inside and question marks on either side. Dave places the Cruxtruder and Rose runs up to it, still looking aggravated.
The Cruxtruder splits the screen and then goes fully to a screen of Jade standing next to the remarkably similar-looking pedestal with the flower on it, which has a timer on it at 4:25, though it appears to have been counting down for millennia. Dave’s cursor places the alchemiter on top of Rose’s roof, and Rose at the window looks deeply annoyed; an image of her banging on the wall floats up the screen while the word STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! scrolls across the bottom.
A door appears on the side of the observatory, and as we zoom out it appears Dave has made stairs down to the roof where the Alchemiter is. His cursor picks up the statue of Zazzerpan and opens the Cruxtruder with it, then hurls it into the flames, where its hand breaks off. Then a fiery tornado appears to the south of the building.
Rose’s kernelsprite appears and a cruxite dowel, as well. The timer is at 4:13. We shift to Jade, asleep by the flower, which also reads 4:13. Rose runs to her room and the totem lathe as Dave’s cursor gives her the punch card for her cruxite artifact. The tornado carries bits of Zazzerpan’s statue around in its wake. Dave puts the carved totem on the alchemiter, and Rose throws Jaspers into the kernelsprite, which takes on the shape of a cat face.
Meanwhile the alchemiter produces a purple wine rack, and a wine bottle which is Rose’s artifact. The wine rack swiftly disappears. We see Zazzerpan’s hand fly across the sky, and Rose looking up at it, then down at her feet; the picture zooms out to show the whole thing was a reflection in a puddle at Rose’s feet. Several raindrops fall in the puddle, each making a fiery ripple.
Dave’s cursor approaches the princess doll, and Zazzerpan’s hand knocks the wine bottle off the alchemiter. It flies through the air and into the water rushing below Rose’s house. Rose looks at it with a determined face, and we switch to Nanna, who inscribes a large copy of Sassacre’s with her eye beams, with the message to John we saw before Act 3.
We see Dave’s room, which many crows have entered through the window. Dave runs around, away from his computer, attempting to fend them off. Rose smirks; she then runs toward the waterfall at the end of her house and jumps the fuck off the roof like an incredible badass. Nanna drops the copy of Sassacre’s into the clouds below John’s house.
Rose falls toward the bottle. We see her hand approach the bottle and a brief shot of what lies below the clouds--apparently a black river and a blue land—as the Sassacre copy falls below it. Rose catches the bottle and is caught by a purple tentacle from nowhere, which flings her up into the air again so she lands safely on the roof. Rose looks up and smiles, seeing a kernelsprite prototyped with both Jaspers and the princess doll, and bearing traits of each, but mostly long tentacles to catch her with.
We see the Cruxtruder and the flower again, which are down to 19 seconds. The flower releases a glowing orb with a spirograph inside; Jade looks up at it. There are two countdowns at the top of the screen, both at 0:18. Meteors fall from the sky and the spirograph morphs on the screen; Rose determinedly brandishes her bottle, then looks up at Jaspersprite briefly. Dave types on his computer, now surrounded by pacified crows.
Meteors continue to fall; there is a shot of the orb in the flower; Rose goes to smash the wine bottle; we see shots of Dave and Jade’s faces; we see WV’s station taking off in reverse, revealing that it was once the cork in a huge wine bottle imbedded in the sand. Fire tornados continue to rush around; Rose smashes her wine bottle against the floor, her house glows and disappears, and a meteor makes a crater where it was. The orb in the flower disappears, and creates two Sburb copies labelled with Dave’s name.
John looks up determinedly, wearing his new gear and covered in oil. He absolutely destroys a whole bunch of imps, dual wielding wrinklefuckers and wearing remote ghost gauntlets. He punches one imp wearing one of Dad’s hats off the roof; the ghost gauntlet punches an ogre. John captchalogues the hat, launching the Cosbytop out of his inventory and into an imp, which falls off the roof. John reaches the highest platform and does a spin in the air, then slams the wrinklefucker into the ground with a large BOING and shoots himself straight into the spirograph above his house, where he flashes suspended for a moment and then disappears into an orb of blue light.
