#re-adjustment

[summoner-renzus]

Plot Adjustments (Things to come)

((So no doubt most of you who follow me should be following Tybresa, and thus you should have noticed that she did some self-reflection on her muse, and determined that her plot direction went a bit too overboard with the whole corruption of the League thing.

I'm going to confess that I'm guilty of the same.

So, I'll be re-adjusting the direction that I'll be taking this blog. I'll still be pursuing the ancient conspiracy thing with the primordials, but I'll loosen up considerably regarding Renzus' animosity with the Council, and the Institute of War in general. Rather, I'll have it more introspective, relating to him personally and the choices he made that got him here; I've got a few ideas that suggest that he may or may not remember everything he's done, things that he should have never forgotten.

Kind of a Jason Bourne thing, where he discovers the exact nature of the training and conditioning he went through, and revelations that would shake the core of his identity.

We'll see. This shouldn't affect any ongoing RP's that I have, so no need to worry, all of you.))

[bonfiresfornobody]

I thought there would be a grave beauty, a sunset splendour In being the last of one's kind: a topmost moment as one watched The huge wave curving over Atlantis, the shrouded barge Turning away with wounded Arthur, or Ilium burning. Now I see that, all along, I was assuming a posterity Of gentle hearts: someone, however distant in the depths of time, Who could pick up our signal, who could understand a story. There won't be. Between the new Hembidae and us who are dying, already There rises a barrier across which no voice can ever carry, For devils are unmaking language. We must let that alone forever. Uproot your loves, one by one, with care, from the future, And trusting to no future, receive the massive thrust And surge of the many-dimensional timeless rays converging On this small, significant dew drop, the present that mirrors all.

Re-adjustment by C. S. Lewis

[rd2jericho]

"Re-adjustment" by C. S. Lewis

I thought there would be a grave beauty, a sunset splendour In being the last of one's kind: a topmost moment as one watched  The huge wave curving over Atlantis, the shrouded barge  Turning away with wounded Arthur, or Ilium burning.  Now I see that, all along, I was assuming a posterity  Of gentle hearts: someone, however distant in the depths of time,  Who could pick up our signal, who could understand a story. There won't be. Between the new Hembidae and us who are dying, already  There rises a barrier across which no voice can ever carry, For devils are unmaking language. We must let that alone forever.  Uproot your loves, one by one, with care, from the future,  And trusting to no future, receive the massive thrust  And surge of the many-dimensional timeless rays converging  On this small, significant dew drop, the present that mirrors all.

[the-sprawl]

Talking about Peace Corps never gets old

Here's my pretty lengthy response to this conversation about Peace Corps and Ghana with echoesofabandon.

echoesofabandon:

Ghana sounds like it was a really interesting place to serve.  I requested Africa but had no skills they thought would be useful enough.  Sometimes I am still bitter about this, but other times I remember that I am actually really lucky to be in such a developed country.  You are right about where I am, and although they haven’t given us the official word yet, the rumor mill is in full tilt and we all know its coming.  Do you think that Ghana is even close to being ready to function without PC?  Do volunteers all serve in communities where there were volunteers before?  Do they serve in a community with another volunteer at the same time?   Seems like they must have run out of sites by now. 

Unemployed and bored can’t be that bad. Did you have your “walmart moment” when you got back (the freak out in some big store about everything being so easy to get)?  Are you in the Midwest/East and suffering from the winter?  I actually cant wait to crash on my moms couch and do nothing.  Although I am still considering extending.  First I just have to find out if my site will get the new volunteer they applied for.  Is it wrong I kinda hope they get one so I don’t have a reason to stay?

Ghana was definitely interesting. I really liked living there for the most part. I aways find it fun to talk to volunteers who serve(d) in countries so drastically different from mine. Bulgaria. Wow. Ghana is actually a lot more developed than most people realize. Especially in the southern regions. Accra, the capital, is actually a huge metropolitan city and is definitely one of the most developed cities in West Africa. Most volunteers lived in tiny villages in rural areas and going into Accra was always the weirdest experience for all of us. There was even an honest-to-God westernized shopping mall complete with a state of the art movie theatre (volunteers from Togo and Benin actually visited Ghana just to go to the mall).

But anyway, it's really hard to tell about Ghana "functioning" without Peace Corps. To be honest, I can't conceptualize actual progress the country has made because of Peace Corps volunteers. Don't get me wrong, I know PC teachers make a huge difference in classrooms and our business volunteers have been behind basically every successful tourist attraction in the country- but in terms of actual physical need? I definitely do not think the amount of volunteers in Ghana needs to triple (that is the plan for the next 5 years and we already have over 120). So yes to all your questions. Many of us are replacements (and I'd imagine will continue to be with the increase of volunteers) and many of us serve very close to other volunteers. Ghana is a fairly small country and I can't even imagine where they plan to put all these volunteers. I also can not imagine what it'd be like as a volunteer to know they are phasing out your country for PC service, but I also think if it's time, then it's time.

Re: unemployment and boredom. Ha, it gets old fast. I've been looking at jobs and having little luck finding something I'm qualified for/want to do. I am in the Northeast so I basically do not go outside. When I actually go outside, I do sometimes have freakout moments- mostly in the grocery store. I can't believe how much food there is to choose from (and the fact that the store has no smell at all compared to Ghana's open air markets- it still bothers me). I thought about going home a lot during my service and then in the very end I found myself considering extending. It was a lot of emotional stress, but the idea of coming home was really hard.

I hope you are able to extend or get a new volunteer at your site- whichever works out best in the end. America is pretty wonderful after all :)

[the-sprawl]

Off course

Whoops!

I feel like I've been going a little overboard with the photo/video/audio postings lately. Although, Tumblr is pretty nifty in that regard. I apologize for the abundance of those kind of posts. Mostly because that wasn't what I created this blog for.

Originally I wanted to write about my re-entry to America. Culture shock in my own country. Re-adjustment. All of those other things that Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCVs) are supposed to face. When I say it like that I guess it sounds like it hasn't been affecting me. Which is a lie. It has, just not to the degree I guess I thought it would.

It comes and goes in waves.

For the most part though, I am fine. Which is sometimes what really freaks me out. How quickly I did adjust. How quick I have been to forget.

Except, I can't really forget.

Small things like turning on the faucet or taking a (hot) shower. Using the microwave. Using the oven. Turning on the heater. Television. Internet. Restaurants. Libraries oh my god I could go on forever...

Every day things like this are small reminders of what I did not have for two years. What people still continue to not have in so many countries in the world.

I guess in some way it's easy to forget. Especially when it seems like no one even wants to talk about it. It's like a sore subject, even among friends and family. I'm not really sure why, since sometimes it's all I really want to talk about. It's like my life in Ghana is some weird elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.

So I seem to have veered off course. That's how it feels. I haven't completely adjusted to life here. I haven't completely abandoned life as it was in Ghana. I'm not really sure where I am exactly. Some kind of first world/third world limbo.

I'm applying for jobs and trying to get myself on track. On the America track, that is. And it's weird. It's hard... but it's mostly weird.

Weird because I didn't think the two years would go by so fast. Weird because I'm back home living with my parents as though nothing has changed. And weird because I know that everything I left behind in Ghana is still going.

My village is still on its same day to day schedule. Kids still going to school. Farmers still going to farm. Women still cooking meals, going to market. That hasn't changed. They'll move on with their lives without me.

So now I have to move on with my life without them. 

This might take more time than I thought.