104. “I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me.” // Malex
So this, uh….did not go where I thought it would go. Also, for the record I am very much a member of the Michael Guerin Protection Squad but I also feel for Alex after the finale, soooooo…..
When Michael and Isobel decide that, with their new abilities developing at an astonishing speed, they might be able to resurrect Max, Alex is skeptical to say the least. But, then again, he’s kept his distance from Michael - and by extension Isobel - since Michael had chosen Maria over him. He’d kept his distance from everyone, really. He’d felt betrayed by Maria and even Liz, who had encouraged their mutual best friend to pursue a relationship with the love of his life. That had left Rosa and Kyle, and Alex was still getting used to Rosa being back, and avoided her out of sheer weirdness. When Alex counted Kyle Valenti as his best (and only) friend, he knew that he was truly screwed.
Six months after Michael had left him waiting at the junkyard, Alex is surprised to find Michael waiting for him on the front porch of his cabin. Alex meets his gaze, the two staring at each other while Alex debates the merits off turning his SUV around and driving away. But, he reasons, there’s few things in this life that actually scare him, and Michael Guerin isn’t one of them.
“What are you doing here Guerin?” He asks as he steps out of his car, Michael hopping down the stairs to join him in the front yard.
“I was hoping that we could talk.” Alex watches as Michael shoves his pockets in his jeans, staring at the ground.
“Depends on what you want to talk about.”
“I’m sorry.” Michael blurts out, and Alex freezes in place. “I’m sorry for how I ended things with us.”
“You ghosting me isn’t exactly ending things.” Alex points out. “Though, I guess you still got your message across.”
“I didn’t mean to ghost you, I was just…I was in a bad place, I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Honestly, Guerin, if all you want to talk about is this, I’m not interested.”
Alex pauses, staring at the sky. He wants to say no, wants to brush Michael off without a second thought, but he knows that’s not possible. It’s never possible for him when it comes to Michael.
“Isobel and I think that we can bring Max back.”
“Yeah, Kyle told me. I hope it works out for you.” Alex moves past Michael toward the cabin, wrenching his hand from Michael’s grasp when the other man wraps his hand around his bicep. “Don’t touch me!” He snarls, stepping away from Michael so quickly that he almost trips over himself.
“Don’t touch me.” He repeats, and this time even he hears the hurt in his voice. “Just tell me what you want from me or leave me the hell alone.”
“We’re tapping into new powers, things we’ve never done before. It takes a lot of energy, and it drains us. Liz broke her wrist the other day, and Isobel nearly passed out from healing her. We need to be at our strongest if we’re going to resurrect Max.”
“I-I need you, Alex. I need you there with me when we try. I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me.”
Alex feels like he’s been punched in the gut, though he fights to keep his face in check and his breathing even.
“Why me? Shouldn’t your girlfriend be able to give you a power boost?” The word girlfriend feels like acid on his tongue. He doesn’t hate Maria, he could never hate Michael, but he hates that the two people he was closest to in the world have done this to him.
“Maria’s not my girlfriend, not anymore.”
A dry, dark chuckle escapes Alex before he can stop it, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry your attempt at normalcy didn’t work out for you.”
“Damn it, Alex!” Michael snaps, running his hand through his hair as he rushes up to Alex. “This is not about that!”
“That’s what everything is about for me, Michael, don’t you get that?” Alex feels his calm flee as he steps out of Michael’s space again. “Everything I do, every decision I make, it all comes back to you. Enlisting, Project Shepherd, fighting my father, spending the last six months of my life tracking down any reference to the crash, any chance that I might be able to give you back what my family took. It’s all about you, because I love you, even if you don’t love me anymore.”
“I will always love you Alex.” Michael replies fiercely. He looks like he wants to reach or Alex, but doesn’t after being rebuffed twice. “That will never change.”
“Then why did you leave me alone?” Alex can hear the crack in his voice, and it’s only then that he realizes that he’s crying.
“No, no, no, no.” Michael pushes past Alex’s defenses at that, gathering him in his arms. “You are never alone. I’m sorry I ever let you think that.” Alex feels slightly mortified that he’s clinging to Michael, but he doesn’t pull away. He sobs into Michael’s neck, letting himself feel every bit of sadness and heartbreak and grief that he’s pushed away for the last six months. He and Michael have been separated by distance and time before, but never like this. It had never felt so final, Alex had never known in his bones that they would never have this again - not until the day he had left the junkyard to drown his sorrows with his best friend and found her kissing Michael against the bar.
Once he finally feels calm again, Alex pushes away from Michael, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.
“When are you going to try to resurrect Max?”
“I’ll be there, if it helps bring Max back.” Alex interrupts, turning away from Michael and back toward his cabin. “But then we’re done, understand?”
Alex doesn’t wait for an answer before slamming the front door behind him.
