THE FASTEST WAY IS SELDOM THE BEST
After an attempt, you try to comfort your lover and look through his recovery. Pairing: Tighnari x gn!reader Cw: impplied suicide attempt. A/N: I had some wips about character conforting reader, but none of them seemed good enough to post. I know this is a weird format, but though it would be comforting to read how you comfort someone. Again, English is not my firt language and I'm afraid I sound a bit too formal [it would be great if you had some tips in how to write not so robotically/essay like(?)]. If there is something you would like for me to write, message me, maybe I'll post some sort of guide lines to show what is it that I'm willing to write.
“I wanted to escape, maybe forever.”
Tighnari lies on the simple bed, head thrown against the embroidered pillows. His face – bronzed before – is pale and stained with tears, eyes lost in the ceiling of the room thinly veiled by the smoke of incense burning.
“I understand it, really” You respond trying to keep your voice even, but your lover says nothing, as if he can't believe you. You gently take is hand between your own and rub soothing circles on top of it with your thumb. “I know sometimes life becomes too daunting and the easiest way out seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel.” You whisper
Now he’s looking at you, his eyes glimmering with new pools of tears that threaten to spill into the blankets. “But you told me once that the fastest method is seldom the answer.” Tighnari chuckles, only a raspy sound that seems like a pained groan, but you can see the slight twitch in his ears and the way his frame sinks a little bit more into the mattress, as if more relaxed.
You begin then to reminisce of that particular day leaning against the bed frame and using one hand to caress your lover’s hair. Your voice is barely audible in the clutered room.
“It had been a quite long day, you were on duty and had proposed for me to join you – you didn't wanted me to be alone – and I was jumping from rock to rock in the edge of the path leading home. Do you remember?” A faint nod “For hours you had talked about the flowers and the little forest animas we encountered with such fondness it almost made me jealous” The corners of his mouth curve ever so slightly “You didn’t let me take some roses; said it would be a disaster to the ecosystem. And right there, just in the front of the village, in the middle of the path, lied a beautiful bird feather, it’s blue hues made it look like some sort of treasure or spirit buried beneath the damp dirt. I ran for it, carelessly, anticipating an impressive monologue about birds from you, but I ran too fast and the feather was too light”
“I remember, his hoarse voice cuts through the story” and through the tiredness, he smiles relieved.
“Yes” now you are also smiling sadly and you fingers keep brushing his hair with slow deliberate motions. “I ran too fast, and the feather flew out and into the bridge and as I chased it, it fell below the wooden structure. That’s when you caught up to me and told me .”
How could you not see it? It was so obvious, his tired movements, his longing stares at night, sitting in front of the bedroom window and sighing pitifully. You should have done something. That is what you repeat to yourself everyday sinc the incident happened, still convinced you could have done something to prevent it, although your lover has already told you that tha isn't a burden for you to carry. And obviously, everything seems so crystal clear in retrospective.
"We can't change the past, so holding grudges against it is simply futile." Those are words of wisdom from Tighnari on a rainy afternoon.
Tighnari is sitting outside on a kitchen chair propped on some velvety green pillows that keep his weak body comfortably leaned into the firm wood. He has changed his usual ranger clothes for some flowy linen garments and a blanket sent by Candace after the news reached Ardu Village is draped over his knees. It’s woven with a variety of reds and browns and depicts a forest scene populated by shadowy dusk birds and half hidden lizards.
After Collei left, settling in a quaint town in the proximities of Sumeru city, the cabin had fallen silent. Tighnari started to space out his lectures in wildlife and botanic, often preferring the warm seat next to the fire where you cooked. At first, everyone just thought of it as a domestic situation, both of you had even started thinking about children during the months prior to Collei’s departure, just a loving couple wanting to be together. But then he slowly started missing patrols; it was at some point commonplace to see Iraj and Nasring on your living room trying to convince your lover to leave the house and help them in their duties.
You should have known, but you were also going through a lot. Your cooking supplied the forest rangers and watchers and your stock of ointments and pomades were highly sought after by the townsfolk. With little to no time to spend with Tighnari, your living arrangement and relationship deteriorated with each passing day. It also didn’t help that Cyno stopped visiting Gandharva Ville after a while and that his letters, frequent and light hearted before, became rare occurrences with little more than bad news.
But now, Tighnari stretches carefully and happily looks at you at the other side of the kitchen window through his lashes. The sun is making him more optimistic, at least, that’s what he tells you at night, just before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms. Maybe it’s also the overexcited rambles that Collei sends through her letters or the short Genious Invokation duels with Cyno during his recurring visits.
It has been well over a month, Tighnari is sitting, still too weak to stand for long periods of time, next to the stove. His soothing voice filling the inside of the home with vibrant colors of the rainforest through his tales. The counters are filled with spice bowls and chopped vegetables whose stories Tighnari never forgets to tell you about. You place a steaming spoon of soup in front of his face.
“Do you like it?” You ask as you watch you lover frowning in a comically exaggerated thinking pose.
“It’s magnificent, love” He responds after a dramatic pause. His sweet words caress your skin and you can’t help but place a big kiss on his forehead, on then one over his nose. “Hey!” he playfully reprimands you, but you can see through the corner of your eye the wagging of his tail.