𝕬𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑'𝖘 𝖉𝖎𝖆𝖗𝖞

19

[angelpassing-by]

i gave you all i could

which wasn't much

but it was everything i had

i guess it wasn't enough

i have nothing more for you

i'm sorry

[angelpassing-by]

Just started playing hsr acouple weeks ago and

HEAR ME OUT

[conditioned-to-obey]

Dominant in the way the livestock guardian dog to it's flock is dominant. Blood stains my muzzle, though my bite does not know the taste of a single lamb. When the day is done, my flock tucks in for the cold night but I do not sleep. I lick the sweet faces of the ewes and carry on my nightly duties as guardian of the gentle. For whom, I would lay down my life. Defending from beast and brother alike. Until copper rivers bloom upon pale snow, taking with it him or I. But for now I lay still and harmless at their feet. Content to watch them graze spring grass while the little lambs play and bleat.

[angelpassing-by]

"Oh, my patient still has suicidal thoughts? Oh, my patient has gotten addicted to self harm and alcohol since we started therapy? Oh, my patient still hates how she looks, struggles with image issues and keeps purging her guts? Yeah, i think she's ready to get out of therapy, to cut meds off completelly and to make it super unsafe for her to exist in society because she is a literal danger to herself and others"

- my psychiatrist probably

[angelpassing-by]

 ᩧ ۪   ✿ The thin line between fluffy fics about character comforting reader and dark fics where yandere characters comforts darling for the hurt they themselves inflicted is killing me rn.

[angelpassing-by]

ᏵꝊ𐌋𐌃𐌄𐌍 𐌔𐌀𐌍𐌃 𐌀𐌍𐌃 ᏵꝊ𐌋𐌃𐌄𐌍 𐌄𐌙𐌄𐌔

Pairing: Jeht x fem!reader Genere: fluff, angst [just a little] Sinopsis: it's the day before your loves goes on a mission with a certain Traveler A/N: I'm screaming, I'm crying, I'm foaming at the mouth. No fics for Jeht?? Now I'm sad. So, I haven't yet completed the whole world quest, but something tells me it will end in heartbreak and I'm SCARED. Sumeru is soo well written i want to scream, aaand Jeht is a lesbian cutie. Obviously I want Jeht for myself, but if I can't have her, please HoYo make Jehtlumi canon.

Marvelous rays of golden sunlight drape over the river's quiet waters, smearing its hue into the tents perched into both of its muddy shores. Lazy spinocrocodiles lay atop of the rocks, their scales glistening of red and ashes. Men and women of the tribe rest too, some beneath the comfort of palm tree shades and others strolling aimlessly. There is a certain tranquility in the air you haven't felt since joining the Tanit, a sort of peace found in the middle of the chaos, the constant uncertainty that dangles over all of your heads.

You can finally see why Jeht likes it here, even though you are both outsiders of some sort; you, more so, being a runaway from Sumeru city. Maybe you are all a big family after all. That thought makes you smile ever so slightly.

Jeht lays at your side, both outside your shared tent, not more than a few scraps of fabric and sturdy wood, with your eyes on the river and, occasionally, on each other. Your lover's golden eyes are as gentle as the setting sun, and so are her lips as she kisses your knuckles.

"Tomorrow I'll set off" she murmurs, still holding your hand between hers.

You know, you've seen the blonde Traveller and her fairy companion, Jeht's precious friend of whom you've heard nothing but honey - sweet praise. Truth be told, those words rarely extend to the flying thing though she quite reminds you of a little sister you once had. You don't really think about those things these days so you shake your thoughts away and bring her hands onto your own mouth, kissing her metal gloved fingers in exchange.

"I know" it's your only response, but on the inside you scream. Why? Aren't I enough for her? That foreigner is surely better, being such a legend. Why is Jeht setting herself up for danger again? Surely she will come home safe, right?

That night you sleep in each other's arms a last time, her body encasing you and her skin, warm and soft, keeping you company throughout the sleepless night. The chilling air pierces through the tent at times and wails as you snuggle closer to Jeht beneath the dusty blanket.

Jeht sometimes mumbles, calling out for something you can't quite make out until the first lights announce the start of another day: "don't... Dad... come... don't go... not there... back". As her words grow in intensity you shake her awake and kiss her good morning while her eyes still try to focus.

After a breakfast made up of dates and Fatteh, you are finally left alone. She fixes a strand of your dark hair behind your ear.

"Don't miss me too much" she murmurs, her forehead against yours.

"I'll just worry sick" Jeht attempts a half smile "be safe."

Now your lips are on her lips and her hands caress the back of your neck with such tenderness that, for a split second, you think you might melt from her touch. That kiss says more than the little words you've managed to spit out. I love you. I know you have to leave, but come back, don't you leave me too. And from her, wait here. Don't risk anything, be safe, be strong for me. I'll come back for you, I promise.

The kiss breaks as a high pitched voice calls for her: "Jeht, we are ready to go!!"; it's the Traveler and her little companion.

You look at her and she looks at you before heading away. She'll come back, you tell yourself but can't help but wonder as every time she ventures away from the tribe.

Is the love of two runaway girls stronger than the desert's deadly embrace?

[angelpassing-by]

Help!

so my psychiatrist has recently lowered my meds dose and, at first, everything was fine, but a couple days after i just started having huge outbursts, i'm overwhelmed all of the time [everything smells terribly, nothing is comfortable, every noise is just too much] and my sensory issues are acting up, my anger issues are also affecting a lot my relationships and it is actually worse than before the sart of my treatment, same with my intrusive thoughts, paranoia and nightmares. that said, i'm trying really hard to "act normally" and not panic. if someone has experience with antidepressants and antipsychotics, is this a normal reaction to a change in the dose????

[angelpassing-by]

THAT SHELL WE CALL A BODY

Characters: Kaeya, Neuvillette, Ayato [blu bois] x [fat!/size neutral!fem!reader] Cw: discussion of weight and body, self image issues, suggestive (?) [maybe if you squint your eyes in Kaeya's part], descriptions of food (i'm so sorry, i just love ice-cream and as a lactose intolerant i just spend all summer daydreaming about it, I literally can't shut up about ice-cream for three months straight), vage mention of dieting. I hinted at this like two months ago, but the Neuvi part just didn't come through as I wanted it, after redoing it several times [and experiencing that first hand] I think I'm now satisfied. So basically you are feeling bad about your body due to different things and the bois comfort you A/N: bad English be aware. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝑜 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁. 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒷𝑜𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒿𝓊𝒹𝑔𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝑒𝒹. 𝒻𝒶𝓉𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝒶𝓁 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝒸𝓇𝒾𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓉.

𝓚𝓐𝓔Ⴘ𝓐

It had been years since you last enjoyed a bathing afternoon in Cider Lake followed by a relaxing nap in the Sun. That's how you would spend your childhood summers, splashing and running around in the rocky shore. That was until your teens where you started to become self-conscious about your looks, you didn't look like you "were supposed to", although you weren't too sure how you were even supposed to look.

When you managed to start dating Kaeya the self-loathing began to disappear because, if someone as him, the famous Calvary Captain no less, could love you so deeply, how could you be unlovable? Nevertheless, you tried to hide your body as much as possible and limit the intimacy with each other.

"Maybe if my thighs were smaller, and if I had a slim waist. If, if, if..." As every summer you stand in front of the bathroom mirror, inspecting your body from all angles, comparing with those pretty girls you saw in books and movies. Maybe there's something wrong with me, you had tried it all, exercise, diet, but nothing worked and just made your anxiety sky rocket which in turn made you gain the weight all back again.

"Hey, pretty" your boyfriend suddenly pops behind you snaking his arms around you and plants a kiss in your exposed shoulder.

"Don't say that" you grumble suddenly mortified by the image you two make, him, lean and tall, and you, a tiny and chubby.

"Why?" He kisses your other shoulder and stares into your reflection. "You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"I can't believe you, I'm so fat and ugly and- " Kaeya cuts you off.

"You are adorable and you are so fucking soft" His eyes lock with yours through the mirror and he continues softening his serious tone. "You were literally made for me to hug, your thighs are the best pillow when I come home tired, not to mention how hot you look whenever you wear something short" He playfully pats your butt and you can't help but giggle.

"I do have a great ass" You say and he laughs kissing the side of your neck. "So you don't think I'm ugly, even though I don't look like those thin models and actresses?"

"Don't be silly you are much hotter with your soft curves and those legs, damn, I'd be the happiest man if I got to die of asphyxiation between them." He responds, dramatically placing a hand on his chest as if your words had mortally hurt him.

He hugs you again, tighter. "Now seriously, you are pretty, and hot and beautiful and I don't think any other woman in the world could compare to your beauty. And even if you don't believe me, let me tell you that there's no more perfect body for you than your own. And I love you, and I love every inch of you, it doesn't matter how it looks because it's you, and the people who really love you will see how gorgeous you are. And of course, what a great ass you have."

That is the little push you need, seeing the feral look in your boyfriend's eyes as he ogles you, the way his hands hold you with such care and his lips place ghost kisses along the curve of your neck.

"Do you fancy spending the evening in Cider Lake?" You ask softly.

𝓝𝓔𝓤𝓥𝓘ℒℒ𝓔𝑇𝑇𝓔

"Dearest, is something wrong?" Your boyfriend's voice wakes you up from your thoughts.

"Um, yeah, just thinking, that's all" You answer trying to act normally as if thousands of horrible insults to yourself weren't running through your mind in that same moment.

"So, do you want some ice-cream?"He inquires pointing towards the parlor’s poster displaying some of the most delicious sweets you've ever seen, ranging from mint and berries to an elaborate chocolate dessert with sugar sprinkles and cookies toppings.

Your right foot starts bouncing nervously as you shift your gaze around, avoiding Neuvillette's piercing gaze.

"No, I'll pass" You respond. That's probably one of the hardest things you've ever done. There's truly nothing like having a cold ice-cream under the scorching heat of Fontaine's summer strolling along the crowded streets of the capital. But you saw that woman's look, the woman next to the pharmacy, just in front of both of you, that look you knew all too well: "she shouldn't be out here eating more, that's the reason she looks like that". Sadly, one too many passing comments and dismissive looks from your family had made you recognize it from a young age.

Neuvillette gives you a quizzical look but doesn't push any further. He orders himself something you don't have the courage to look at and meanwhile you focus on his pretty hair, the way it reflects the sun in his high ponytail. Of course he had let you tie a ribbon for him before going out and you smile inwardly reliving the sweet moment.

Which is, of course, spoiled by that woman, staring intently from across the street. When you try to return her stare she just looks you up and down with a peculiar face, one you sadly also know. The look that says, "maybe if you were better, you would look better, like me."

The burning shame sets across your face, painting your features reddish. You feel so, so stupid, after all this time, you think, it shouldn't affect me like this.

"Neuvi, can we go home already? I think I'm getting a bit tired" You urge your boyfriend as soon as he gets his treat, starting to walk a few steps ahead him so he can't see your watery eyes.

"Of course, darling, do you want me to call a doctor? I happen to know..." His voice is usually reassuring and warm, but now the world is just too hot and your head spins with anger and sadness. You stop focusing on his words as you both walk home, him, still a step behind you and you, still containing your tears.

At home, your boyfriend grabs your hands before you get the chance to get away, leading you to the velvety blue couch in the living room.

"Hey, are you fine? You've been kind of distracted this afternoon." His tone is laced with concern.

"Yes Neuvi" But your answer does not convince him.

"Are you forgetting love that you talking to the Iudex of Fontaine? Not even the most expert criminals can lie to me, and you, love, aren't really good at lying."

"'M sorry Neuvi-"

"I don't want to press you to tell me something you don't want to tell me, but I just want to know if there is something I can do about it."

Those words just break the little self-control that maintains your tears at bay. They start rolling around your puffy cheeks as heavy droplets of rain. With a concerned look, Neuvi hugs you closer, reassuringly tracing circles in your back with his hand. I'm between sobs and hiccups you manage to explain the situation as best as you can.

"- it's just, I know it must sound stupid, but -"He shushes you cupping your face in his hands.

"Nothing my pretty lady sais is stupid, do you want me to get that rude woman in jail?"

"What? No!" You exclaim with a horrified look, "It's not that important."

"Well, it is, staring disrespectfully at others is an offense and you have feelings, feeling that have been hurt, feelings that very much matter to me. Nobody should look down others and that woman had no business judging whatever you were or weren't doing."

You huff "What are you going to do then, send everyone that looks at me like I'm thrash to jail?"

"Of course, nobody has the right to determine how you feel towards your body" He gets up more determined than before, "Now, does my pretty lady want an ice-cream" His look is so serious that you can't help but feel like you are in one of his trials, but nonetheless, you respond with an equally composed voice, albeit broken at the end by a little chuckle.

"I'd like that very much Sir Iudex of Fontaine."

𝓐Ⴘ𝓐𝑇𝓞

You can't do it, you can't, well, that annoying little voice in the back of your head keeps you saying that you can't, all because of that stupid summer gala your boyfriend Ayato had convinced you to attend.

It had all started last week, with a scented letter from one of the many upstanding noble women in Inazuma. Ayato had come into your shared bedroom at night, just as you were going to sleep, waving it around. He was so excited you just casually agreed to be his companion, after all, as he had said, you had been a couple for a long time now and you always had refused to attend to such events with him.

He got you a delicately embroidered kimono made with the finest of silks just to match his attire, an ornate fan imported from Liyue, even sparkling blue glass hair pins. All you could do was cry for days. And now, again, you walk around the empty tea room adjacent to your bedroom feeling like an stranger.

You look like an ugly thing pretending to be a pretty girl. That's what that little voice reminds you each time you catch a glimpse from your reflection on the vases.

You will ruin his reputation, what will people think when they see him with something like you?

"Is everything all right Lady?"Thoma's voice startles you and you stop your pacing to look at the man's concerned face.

You nod absentmindedly and offer a weak smile. Thoma seems skeptical, however, he bows and leaves you alone again with your thoughts until your inner monologue is disturbed again not too long after.

"Dear, may I come in?" Ayato's voice is heard following two soft knocks on the door.

"Yes, it was Thoma, wasn't it?" You ask a bit too dryly as the door peeks open.

"Yes, but-" Ayato stops dead in his tracks when his gaze falls upon you. "Oh Heavens, you look truly incredible. Why didn't you tell me you were trying your outfit on? I would've worn mine too. Though I'm afraid nobody will look at me with such beauty by my side."

"Don't laugh at me." You huff with a scornful look.

"I'm not." He looks positively puzzled at your words. "You are stunning."

You cross your arms and narrow your eyes at your boyfriend, "Well, I'm not sure I should go with you."

"Did I do something wrong? Is it the dress? I should have ordered something more luxurious, I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe if-"

"No, no" You cut your boyfriend's panicked diatribe. "It's me." To that he truly looks dumbfounded. "Can't you see it? I look... not like you."

"What?" He tilts his head like some sort of confused puppy waiting for further instructions.

"I don't look thin and tall and imposing like you, I don't want others to judge you because of me" That wasn't entirely the truth, even if some high society folk spoke poorly about you, no one would dare to disrespect the Yashiro Commissioner. No, you just didn't measure up.

"That's not going to happen. Besides, it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks of you. Not even me." he gestures to himself "Although if you don't mind me saying, your curves look positively breath taking in this thin silk."

"I don't know if I believe you"

"Don't believe me, you don't have to like your body, but rather, see the value in what it offers."

He spins you around, the blue kimono shifting with your motions, one, two, three times, until you take his hand and begin dancing around the tea table. Now, the reflection of the vases depicts a lovely woman with a regal attire. Yes, she's chubby and soft, but that only makes her look more ethereal. And you realize a split second after that you are that woman.

Maybe you are just as beautiful as you boyfriend thinks, but even if you aren't, you are grateful to have a body that allows you to dance clumsily and with no music whatsoever in a tea room just before sunset.

[angelpassing-by]

THE FASTEST WAY IS SELDOM THE BEST

After an attempt, you try to comfort your lover and look through his recovery. Pairing: Tighnari x gn!reader Cw: impplied suicide attempt. A/N: I had some wips about character conforting reader, but none of them seemed good enough to post. I know this is a weird format, but though it would be comforting to read how you comfort someone. Again, English is not my firt language and I'm afraid I sound a bit too formal [it would be great if you had some tips in how to write not so robotically/essay like(?)]. If there is something you would like for me to write, message me, maybe I'll post some sort of guide lines to show what is it that I'm willing to write.

“I wanted to escape, maybe forever.”

Tighnari lies on the simple bed, head thrown against the embroidered pillows. His face – bronzed before – is pale and stained with tears, eyes lost in the ceiling of the room thinly veiled by the smoke of incense burning.

“I understand it, really” You respond trying to keep your voice even, but your lover says nothing, as if he can't believe you. You gently take is hand between your own and rub soothing circles on top of it with your thumb. “I know sometimes life becomes too daunting and the easiest way out seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel.” You whisper

Now he’s looking at you, his eyes glimmering with new pools of tears that threaten to spill into the blankets. “But you told me once that the fastest method is seldom the answer.” Tighnari chuckles, only a raspy sound that seems like a pained groan, but you can see the slight twitch in his ears and the way his frame sinks a little bit more into the mattress, as if more relaxed.

You begin then to reminisce of that particular day leaning against the bed frame and using one hand to caress your lover’s hair. Your voice is barely audible in the clutered room.

“It had been a quite long day, you were on duty and had proposed for me to join you – you didn't wanted me to be alone – and I was jumping from rock to rock in the edge of the path leading home. Do you remember?” A faint nod “For hours you had talked about the flowers and the little forest animas we encountered with such fondness it almost made me jealous” The corners of his mouth curve ever so slightly “You didn’t let me take some roses; said it would be a disaster to the ecosystem. And right there, just in the front of the village, in the middle of the path, lied a beautiful bird feather, it’s blue hues made it look like some sort of treasure or spirit buried beneath the damp dirt. I ran for it, carelessly, anticipating an impressive monologue about birds from you, but I ran too fast and the feather was too light”

“I remember, his hoarse voice cuts through the story” and through the tiredness, he smiles relieved.

“Yes” now you are also smiling sadly and you fingers keep brushing his hair with slow deliberate motions. “I ran too fast, and the feather flew out and into the bridge and as I chased it, it fell below the wooden structure. That’s when you caught up to me and told me .”

How could you not see it? It was so obvious, his tired movements, his longing stares at night, sitting in front of the bedroom window and sighing pitifully. You should have done something. That is what you repeat to yourself everyday sinc the incident happened, still convinced you could have done something to prevent it, although your lover has already told you that tha isn't a burden for you to carry. And obviously, everything seems so crystal clear in retrospective.

"We can't change the past, so holding grudges against it is simply futile." Those are words of wisdom from Tighnari on a rainy afternoon.

Tighnari is sitting outside on a kitchen chair propped on  some velvety green pillows that keep his weak body comfortably leaned into the firm wood. He has changed his usual ranger clothes for some flowy linen garments  and a blanket sent by Candace after the news reached Ardu Village is draped over his knees. It’s woven with a variety of reds and browns and depicts a forest scene populated by shadowy dusk birds and half hidden lizards.

After Collei left, settling in a quaint town in the proximities of Sumeru city, the cabin had fallen silent. Tighnari started to space out his lectures in wildlife and botanic, often preferring the warm seat next to the fire where you cooked. At first, everyone just thought of it as a domestic situation, both of you had even started thinking about children during the months prior to Collei’s departure, just a loving couple wanting to be together. But then he slowly started missing patrols; it was at some point commonplace to see Iraj and Nasring on your living room trying to convince your lover to leave the house and help them in their duties.

You should have known, but you were also going through a lot. Your cooking supplied the forest rangers and watchers and your stock of ointments and pomades were highly sought after by the townsfolk. With little to no time to spend with Tighnari, your living arrangement and relationship deteriorated with each passing day. It also didn’t help that Cyno stopped visiting Gandharva Ville after a while and that his letters, frequent and light hearted before, became rare occurrences with little more than bad news.

But now, Tighnari stretches carefully and happily looks at you at the other side of the kitchen window through his lashes. The sun is making him more optimistic, at least, that’s what he tells you at night, just before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms. Maybe it’s also the overexcited rambles that Collei sends through her letters or the short Genious  Invokation duels with Cyno during his recurring visits.

It has been well over a month, Tighnari is sitting, still too weak to stand for long periods of time, next to the stove. His soothing voice filling the inside of the home with vibrant colors of the rainforest through his tales. The counters are filled with  spice bowls and chopped vegetables whose stories Tighnari never forgets to tell you about. You place a steaming spoon of soup in front of his face.

“Do you like it?” You ask as you watch you lover frowning in a comically exaggerated thinking pose.

“It’s magnificent, love” He responds after a dramatic pause. His sweet words caress your skin and you can’t help but place a big kiss on his forehead, on then one over his nose. “Hey!” he playfully reprimands you, but you can see through the corner of your eye the wagging of his tail.

[angelpassing-by]

SOMETHING BAD GOING ON LATELY

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc. Genre: angst, comfort. Your boyfriend realises over time you're in a bad mental space and comforts you after you open up. Modern AU. Tw: self harm, not graphic mention of injuries and self harm scars, depression episodes. A/N: English is not my first language. A bit rambly and incoherent, I'm afraid-

ZHONGLI ִ  ֗- - - - - - - - ꔫ - - - - - - - - ִ  ۫ 

You hadn't really been feeling yourself lately. Things happened around you as if they were filtered by a distorted glass. Words had a static sound behind them, and even silence felt somehow too heavy.

You laid still most of the time, waiting for the time to pass by, one, two, five hours and counting. Without the soft humming of your partner the air on the appartment felt constricting. The couch wasn't even that comfortable, but you didn't have the energy to get up.

it took some time for the ex-archon to pick up on your behaviour, all in all, as an inmortal being, he was used to stillness. Plus, it definetly didn't help that you weren't normally very energetic either.

"Honey, are you feeling fine?"

That had been a particularly difficult day as you were forced out of your home by your friends. They laughed and joked and you felt so, so out of place through the entire time. You couldn't help but feel inadequate. You weren't as funny as them, or as pretty, or smart or kind. You just couldn't figure out how to reach to them, and in your poor state of mind, everything you could think about was how little you gave to them.

"Yes, just kind of tired, don't worry." You lied, slowly getting up and heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Are you sure, you have been a bit down lately." He trailed behind you but his words seemed to vanish on thin air, or maybe be swallowed by too-thick air.

You couldn't be bothered to respond, why would you? Things changed around you, you could do nothing. Words were spoken, but life just continued after all, long and miserable. And you, you were just watching from the sidelines.

"Do you want to go somewhere? Or maybe just order takeout and watch something." Your boyfriend was getting anxious, he knew nothing about human beings.

Maybe you were sick.

"I'm fine. I'll go to bed early though so don't bother." You talked drily, where were the endearing nicknames or the shy smiles? Zhongli couldn't help but wonder.

You went to bed early without saying goodnight and were still fast asleep when he got up for work. Well, actually, you had prentended to be sleeping, feeling the sweet goodnight kiss on your temple and the squeeze on your hand when he left.

You felt like a terrible partner, avoiding your significant other. In truth, you were scared, what if he dind't seem real? What if he suddenly had the realisation that you were nothing but a bystander in everyone's life?

That night, the scene repeated, but instead of confronting you, Zhongli simply asked in a gentle manner "Can I hug you, my dear?"

That caught you by surprise and you absentmidedly nodded, still convinced that he wouldn't dare to touch you. But he did, wrapping you in big, warm arms and securing you to his chest, the fabric of his expensive suit rubbing against your cheek.

In that precise moment, time froze, the glass cage that had been keeping you isolated for weeks shattering. The thrumming of his heart against your ear, clearer than any sound you'd heard as of lately. His hands on your back felt so real, so genuine. You dind't even noticed that you were talking, softly wispering as he rubbed your back in circular motions.

"You're real."

DILUC ִ  ֗ - - - - - - - - ꔫ - - - - - - - - ִ  ۫ 

That was one of the only times when you could actually feel like yourself. When the pressure on your chest was lifted and the stream of tears clouded that little skeptical voice inside your mind.

"Are you even real?"

"Do you exists if no one looks at you?"

"Everything would be fine if you were gone."

The steady pulse hammering your head as the heavy droplets of crimson slide across your marred skin somehow gave you peace. And you felt horrible for it. Horrible for relapsing and falling again for old vices. Horrible for lying to your boyfriend. Horrible because everything was fine, yet you still felt distant from it all.

The tender scars across your arms itched as you tugged on your long sleeves, always paranoid that they would to slip down, just enough to reveal a trail of swollen skin and distorted lines. The anxiety making you space out from whatever your boyfriend was talking at that moment. Truthfully, you had no energy left to hear some story about drunkards or the mysterious Dark Night.

" - and of course, Charles just had to do it, you know?" Diluc, immersed in his monologue as he was, had unconsciously approached you, a shoulder brushing against you own.

You made an uncomfortable noise when he pulled you closer but aside from a hurt look, he let it slide and proceed to ask about your day. Pretty uneventful, you still managed to pull a believable performance sprinkling some exaggerations and white lies into your tale.

From that day on the exchange repeated a handful of times and finally you felt something change in the air between you two. Diluc became careful when approaching you, choosing to keep his distance, and colder, quite literally. You had grown, over the time you both had been together, accustomed to the heat that he naturally radiated due to his vision but now, with your body hidden under layers and layers of protective fabric, the temperature was unbearable. That coldness had seeped into the atmosphere at your home. With Diluc unable to use his love language in fear that it would make you uncomfortable, the tension built up.

"Did I do anything?" That was the last thing you were expecting that day.

You had slipped into bed quickly after a small dinner and Diluc had promptly followed you to the master bedroom, sitting out of arm reach at the edge of the mattress.

"No!" You voice came louder than you had expected it. "No" You repeated yourself quietly.

"Then why this? Did someone do something to you?" He finally looked at you, deeply into your eyes with a scared expression.

"No, it's got nothing to do with you or anybody else. It's just... too hot."

He smiled awkwardly and tried to joke it off "Am I really that hot that you can't stand being around me?"

But you didn't laugh and his serious face and deep frown reappeared. "Maybe if you didn't wear so many layers -"

"No"

"Why?"

And then it happened, it never occurred to you he would ask why. Why? And then you told him. The words pouring out of your mouth without any cohesion or structure. You told him about that part of yourself, the one that didn’t let you live in peace. You told him about that not feeling real that you carried around, about the cuts and how you didn't know how to stop, how to make the urge go away. You rambled until your throat felt sore and your head began pulsating with the familiar thrumming of an imminent headache.

"I know you are not fine, " he paused and moved closer to you "and I doubt there's anything really I can do. But I want - no - I need to help you. I can't stand to see you in pain, I love you too much and you love yourself too little. So please, tell me, what can I do?" His face pleading for something, anything.

Deep red eyes searched for yours before you hesitantly asked, "Can I hold your hand?"

[angelpassing-by]

TODAY WON'T BE THE END.

Pairing: Wriothesley x reader Genre: angst, comfort. Your boyfriend Wriothesley finds you during a depressive episode, after self harming, and comforts you. Modern AU. Tw: self harm, suicide talk, not graphic mention of injuries and blades, self harm scars. A/N: English is not my first language, this is my first ever time triying to write fanfiction. Basicaly, I've been struggling for some time now and craving some sh comfort comfort, which is quite difficult to come across. So I decided to write my own with my current comfort character.

It is quite late when Wriothesley sets a foot in your shared apartment. The soft tick-tack of the kitchen clock being the only thing to greet him. Normally you would greet him every night, lazily hugging him in your pajamas. Today, however, there's no sign of your presence in the home. Hopping to find you in the bedroom he makes his way through the corridor, trying his best not to wake you up with his heavy steps.

To his surprise, the bed is untouched and some quiet sniffles can be heard coming from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Dear?" his knocks on the door make you panic even more, fumbling with the first aid kit and the supplies scattered around it in the tile floor.

"Are you okay?" he heard no response but some metallic clatter on the other side as you managed to fit your blades back into their hidden box.

He had seen your scars, kissed them, touched them. To his eyes they were just another part of you, whom he lovingly adored, not taking away any of your beauty despite your self-deprecating talk about them. But that also meant he was aware of what those scars implied, he had even seen some of them heal, help you bandage them.

"I'm coming in." Without waiting for your response he gently pushes the door open.

Wriothesley's heart breaks when he seen your sobbing form on the floor, surrounded by bloodied papers and crimson stains. He kneels beside you, taking your face into his hands.

"What happened love?" but you can only cry harder and mumble gibberishly under your breath.

Wrio then takes your arm, handling it with much more care than you've ever had for your own body. He inspects the fresh cuts as you look at him through soaked lashes. The sanitary alcohol stings badly but you barely notice it and the bandages he wraps around your forearm feel soft and warm, a parody of a hug somehow.

After being appropriately patched up, Wrio opens his arms, about to hug you.

"No,No!" you hastily exclaim with a broken voice. "You'll get you clothes dirty." He chuckles and wraps you in his strong arms, trapping you in his warm body - safety.

"Do you what to tell me what happened?" he asks cautiously, after braking your embrace, whipping you tears away with his thumbs.

"I don't think-- I- can" you stumble with your words "-- you know - this- do this."

"This?"

"Life." you whisper.

"Oh" the implications of your words take some time to register, but when they do, he engulfs you in his arms again, perhaps hopping that you don't notice the stray tear that rolls down his cheek.

Time goes by incredibly slow until he grabs your face again and locks his eyes with yours. "I know you can, I know you will do this" Wrio's words are barely loud enough to be heard.

"I'm scared -- I - don't know what to do, I know nothing, I feel so lost". The tears, gone and dry in your face, return, and you hate yourself for letting them pour again.

"I know, love. It's so difficult to know what the future holds. I don't think anybody out there knows exactly how to do life. But hear me out, you are not alone in this, you've got me, you've got your friends, your family. You don't have to figure life alone. Fuck, you don't even need to figure it out at all." His expression softens when you giggle at his last words. "love, you don't have to know how to do life, and if you feel uncertain again, know for a fact that I've got you."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what" he responds placing a kiss on your forehead.

[angelpassing-by]

Hit me – Kiss me Love me – abuse the mind of this sick child I will be fine – (don’t you love me?) Hold me – make me fear the outside Shelter me – cage me with knives Don’t say that – don’t make me suffer – be polite. (i know you don’t love me) You should love me – shame twisting in my guts You should be sorry – fear pruning in my eyes.