Finding Memories. Chapter 12.
Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 4000+
TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.
Chapter 12:
“Tony,” Steve stated. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a meeting in Manhattan today.”
“I did. It finished early. And by early I mean, I left because it was boring. It was an easy fix made more complex than needed,” he smirked in a brazen way. “What about you two?”
“Get to the point, Stark,” Bucky rolled his eyes, his intense stare stance quickly taking over. “Clearly you came down here to figure something out, so what was it?” he crossed his arms.
“Pushy, pushy,” Tony groaned. When neither of the men humored him, he rolled his eyes and stood up, buttoning his suit jacket. “I may have overheard you coming down here to question the convict and wanted to see for myself what you came up with.” Again, neither said anything as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. “So... What did you come up with?” he pushed on with an impatient tone.
“We were asking about her employers,” Bucky spoke up, being vague.
“I got that much,” Tony huffed, sitting on the corner of the metal table before interlacing his fingers. “She mentioned something about other enhanced?”
“Apparently whoever was running the labs Y/N was a part of has an obsession to those with the mutation gene, though that wasn’t anything new to our research,” Steve stepped in.
They had to be careful not to tell him too much as they knew he would become defensive on the spot if there was even a whisper of the possible spying of enhanced beings like Bucky had thought. If Stark thought for a second that his highly secured compound could have been infiltrated, then they were setting themselves, and Y/N, for a whirlwind of changes.
“So what is new to our research?” Tony raised an eyebrow.
“You heard what we heard, didn’t you?” Bucky snarked.
“I did, but I missed some of the questions you asked to begin this little interrogation,” Tony said back with his patience becoming smaller and smaller by the second. “However, my question is… Why are you so worried about the other enhanced?”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at the question and Steve too was confused by it. Why wouldn’t they be?
“Unless,” Tony went on, showing he knew something. “I don’t know. Maybe they’ve found her?”
“What are you getting at Tony?” Steve asked even if he knew what he was hinting at.
“You tell me,” he pushed, giving them one last chance to confess to their true intentions, but neither was budging. “Fine. Friday informed me that you were checking the security camera from last night on the west side of the compound. Why was that?”
“Why do you care?” Bucky said with a blank expression.
“Because I think you found something out that you’re hiding from me. You two not answering my original question having to do with your questioning to our one lead, goes to show you are hiding something.”
Bucky rolled his eyes trying to seem unconcerned with the fact Tony was actually catching onto them.
“Why don’t you do your own snooping and figure it out if you’re so worried about it?” Bucky shot back, turning around and making his way to the exit.
“Because we’re a team, Sergeant Barnes. And the purpose of being a team is to communicate and work with each other,” Tony shouted at his back.
Bucky stopped in his step and turned back to him in his spot.
“You’ve never acted like I was a part of this team before. So why are you so hellbent on it now?” Bucky shot back.
The two stood staring at the other. The tension became more and more unnerving by the second.
Like most the time, Steve was stuck in the middle trying to figure out how to step in and deescalate the situation.
“You guys, come on-,”
“What did you see out there, Barnes?” Tony asked bluntly. “Tell me. Did your whole effort to save this one girl come back to bite you in the ass? Or are you just too hard headed to realize everything I said would happen after bringing that mass weapon back to our home.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” Bucky chuckled in a resentful way. “You’re getting mad at me for looking out for someone who was a victim of torture, experimentation, and God knows what else. Do you really think you’re the one in the right right now?”
Tony stood from the table and took frustrated steps forward.
“I’m trying to protect my family. We knew nothing of her when we took her in,” he pointed to him.
“You act like that’s a valid reason to throw her to the streets,” Bucky laughed once again in a bitter way. “You are something else, Stark. And I don’t mean that as a compliment.”
Before Tony could get another word in, Bucky was already out the door.
He looked to the blonde in the room and saw him pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I know he’s your friend, but please tell me you see some part to my side of the argument,” Tony lowered his head with exhaustion at always being played as the bad guy to the pair.
“Tony, we got into a whole battle over the Sokovia Accords all because of one person,” he raised his head and looked at Tony with a sincere face. “Charles Spencer was one single person that you changed all your views for due to his tragic death and sacrifice. And for that I understand and truthfully, I admire the empathy that pushed you to make the decision. But now Bucky has someone who he can change the trajectory of their unfortunate situation, and you’re getting angry at him for trying to do what you weren’t able to.”
When Tony didn’t answer he went on.
“He has the chance to help someone through something he knows more about than anyone on this earth should. Instead of getting in his way and making him feel like he’s got to go behind your back for the information you need and want, maybe. Just maybe… Give him the space and opportunity to do what you weren’t given the chance to.” He sighed, moving to the exit himself. “And also, when you say he’s part of the team, try and act like an actual teammate if you actually want him to work with you like one.”
And like that, Tony was put in his place.
Was he happy about it? No. It’s Tony Stark. But either way, he had a new perspective on the situation than before.
________________________
“That was a really nice practice, Y/N,” Wanda smiled as they caught their breath.
Nat, Wanda, and Y/N had spent most the morning into early afternoon practicing.
Y/N had a few instances where her powers seemed to flicker, but nothing like when Nat and her sparred. Wanda had tried to help her meditate and find the feeling of her power within, but all Y/N could do was create a little shield of energy.
They were able to come to the fact that whatever the power consisted of was energy based, but they didn’t know what type or what it correlated with.
When Bucky was headed back to his room, he stopped in the kitchen for some coffee. At the bar, Y/N stood adding fruits to a bowl, while Wanda was cutting up the fruits to add and Nat was saying her goodbye as she left.
It was easy to put his frustration with Tony aside after seeing Y/N becoming more at ease in her surroundings by the day.
So he was able to easily mask the argument that happened not even 20 minutes ago.
“What have you two been up to today?” he asked with a smile, opening the fridge.
“We went on a walk,” Wanda answered.
“A little bit of self-defense lessons too,” Y/N added, not giving too much away.
“Yeah?” Bucky was intrigued, still trying to wrap his head around her voluntarily wanting to fight someone. “How’s that going?”
“Really well,” Wanda answered. “She’s a natural.”
“You’re being nice,” Y/N chuckled, plopping a strawberry in her mouth before brushing her hands off. “However, this natural needs to go take a shower. We’re still on for a movie marathon in an hour or so, right?”
“Yes,” Wanda laughed. “I’ll drop by your room then.”
“Sounds like a plan,” she waved, saying her goodbyes and heading to her room.
“Be honest,” Bucky spoke up, stepping to her side and leaning his back on the counter as Wanda kept cutting fruit and adding it to a bowl. “Has the training been triggering or anything for her?”
Wanda hesitated and Bucky noticed, but she quickly answered to try and hide her disposition toward the question.
“She’s doing well, Barnes. I would tell you anything otherwise if it was something for you to worry about,” she answered truthfully. “What about your findings on the walk? Any new leads?”
He picked up on her quick change of subject, but didn’t push.
“Tony’s trying to pry, but I’m not telling him anything unless it’s for sure. I don’t need him getting protective over something we don’t even know if it’s a threat or not.”
“Sounds about right,” she nodded, starting to clean her area. “But nothing gave away what we saw on the cameras?”
He told her about what Ava said and what his thoughts were about it, but it didn’t confirm anything really besides give him more ideas of what could have happened.
While they were discussing their theories, Wanda’s phone dinged. She checked it and she seemed surprised by the text.
“There’s a mission in the city they need me on,” she said out loud.
“What’s it for?”
“Nothing special. But I won’t be back until later tonight. Maybe early morning,” she said as she typed.
“What about that movie marathon you and Y/N planned?” he asked, having just overheard their agreement.
“I’ll let her know we can reschedule,” she said disappointed.
“Wait!” Bucky said a little more abruptly then he meant to. “I mean, I can cover for you.”
“Cover for me?” Wanda chuckled, sending him a smirk.
“Yeah. I mean, I can keep an eye on her for you. Since there could be someone spying on her and I don’t want her to be in danger-”
“If you want to have a movie marathon with her, you don’t have to try and convince me.” When he didn’t respond and she could see the blush creep up his neck, she played along. “If you want to hang out with Y/N to keep her safe since I can’t, I won’t object. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the company.”
“What do you mean by that?” He only asked because Wanda’s tone showed she meant more by that comment than she was leading on.
“Mean by what?” she asked.
“She wouldn’t mind the company,” he rephrased.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she faked confusion.
“I think you do,” Bucky countered.
“Weird, cause I don’t think I do,” she bantered.
Bucky knew he wasn't getting anything out of her and rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the smile that grew on his lips. She was out the door in the next five seconds either way, so it would have been pointless.
____________________________
Giving her about 30 minutes or so to take a shower and get dressed, Bucky spent the time getting a few favorite snacks together for the two to binge watch with.
Peanut M&M’s, kitkats, and sour punch straws were some of her favorites. He had learned from multiple movie nights with the team she tended to go for those main three.
Grabbing some of the fruit Wanda had cut up, and a few waters as well, he made his way to her room.
His knock was soft and almost hesitant as he wasn’t sure if she knew about the switch of company.
But he was quickly relaxed when she opened the door and peeked her head out before smiling.
“Hey,” she smiled, opening it wider now that she knew who it was.
“Hey,” he smiled back unconsciously. She looked down at his hand holding a bag full of things. “Oh, it’s for your movie marathon.”
She quirked her head to the side confused.
“I didn’t realize we had room service,” she teased and he laughed.
“Sorry, I should probably be less vague,” he replied. “Wanda got called on a mission and I volunteered to sit in for her. If that’s ok with you of course,” he added quickly for her to know it was her choice.
“Oh,” she said before moving aside. “That’s fine with me.”
He thought she was just being nice with her wording, but he could tell on her face that she was genuinely ok with it. She opened the door and motioned to the couch where she had already set up the TV to choose what they would watch.
They hadn’t really had the chance to hangout since the night of the museum. He had been so busy trying to figure out who was connected to that night and so on. She had been recuperating and spending time with Wanda and Nat more the last few days.
Besides being here to make sure she was safe in her own room, he was happy to have an excuse to spend some time with her.
“Do you need a blanket or anything?” she asked, grabbing one for herself across the room from the blanket ladder.
“I’m good,” he waved off. “Thanks though.”
She nodded in return before grabbing her own and sitting on the couch alongside him. As she grabbed the remote and started clicking through a few things, he watched her.
He had been wondering if she was adjusting after the attack and if it had caused a setback in her sense of security in their home.
So without any warning, he blurted out his question and seemed a touch too eager to know the answer to.
“How have you been?”
She was a little surprised by the nerves he had in his question, as if it was a sensitive subject, but more so when he looked embarrassed to have shouted it out.
“I’m doing ok,” she answered. “How are you doing?”
He wasn’t ready for her to shoot the question back to him. The entire time of their friendship, she’s been the one to be checked on. Not him.
“I’m ok,” he said with a small smirk at her concern. “I was wondering since the other night…” he paused, gaging to see if the subject was sensitive. He saw her adjust in her spot, but it didn’t look like she was uncomfortable. Though he could tell that the night he was talking about, hadn't left her mind yet. “You don’t have to-”
“It’s fine,” she cut him off. “It sucked. It wasn’t the way I had hoped to remember the night considering what we were there for, but…” She took a deep breath. “It’s proven to not be all bad.” Her new found knowledge of what she was capable of somehow gave that night a helpful purpose.
However, Bucky didn’t know about these new findings and wasn’t sure what she meant by that. Before he could ask her what she meant, she countered back with her own question.
“I wasn’t the only one attacked that night though,” she said looking at him sympathetically. “Are you sure you’re doing ok?”
He looked at her deeply and a warmth flooded his heart.
Two weeks ago, she barely talked and knew close to nothing about herself or those that had taken her in. Now she was sitting comfortably across from him and playing the role that many of his close friends played by being an ear to listen.
He shouldn’t be shocked by it as he knew she always had a gentle and kind nature since day one. Even with her traumas that would send most into a mental prison and easily make them fall into a senile attitude towards life.
But here she was, worried about others.
She had a sense of humor and sass when she was comfortable with her company. She was curious and not afraid to look for answers. She was intelligent and quick on her feet. She still had moments where she was quiet, careful, and preferred to be in the comforts of a controlled space, but that’s to be expected.
Bucky had come to the realization that the girl in front of him had moved forward in her healing a lot faster and gracefully than he expected.
There had been bumps and trials, but she had come out stronger each time.
And here she was, asking him if he was ok.
“Bucky?” she looked at him, lowering her head some to see his eyes better.
“Sorry,” he came back from his mental thoughts.
“You sure you’re ok?” she asked again.
He smiled and nodded. “I’m doing ok. Besides, I’ve been in worse situation, so I’m more worried about you from that night.”
She didn’t respond to that and when he looked back at her, he saw sorrow in her eyes. He realized in his truth, he also gave away that someone coming and kidnapping the person he was supposed to be looking out for, on top of having to put up a fight to save her, there had been times even more intense and worse than that night.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t know.”
He looked at her a little surprised. In all of her hyper-focused internet searching and research about anything and everything she found interesting, had she never looked up his story? He had figured that by now she had found it or been told it by someone and was just being nice to not bring it up.
But she clearly didn’t realize the long and grim story that was his own.
“Do you know anything about how I got here, Y/N?” he asked in a curious manner.
She slowly shook her head side to side.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the internet, it’s that it’s not to trust everything it says. So I haven’t looked up any of you guy’s history there,” she explained. “I’d rather hear it from the person themselves.”
He was dazed at that. He wasn’t sure why, but maybe it was because almost everyone on the streets and in the world seemed to want to pry into the Avenger’s, and everyone connected to them, lives. Yet, she had an excuse compared to the invasive society they were asked to protect. And she didn’t take it.
“What about Nat and Wanda?” he wondered out loud. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with them. I’m sure you did some research-”
“I’ve asked them questions about their lives and know some of their stories now, but they were the ones who decided when to tell me,” she replied.
He had always appreciated that she never brought up his arm or acted like it made him any different from those around him. Now he knew it wasn’t because she had gone and found out the backstory originally and didn’t say anything about it, but it was because she wanted to hear the story from him. Not some fan blog or anti-fan’s hate post or case file.
Him.
“Just to be clear, that doesn’t mean you have to tell me now if you’re not comfortable yet,” she was quick to say when she saw the gears turning in his head. “I’m just sorry to hear that you’ve had more extreme nights than the one the other night…”
“I hate to say it, but I’m not the only one on this team who’s had worse nights,” he replied somberly. “I think it comes with the job description. All of us have been through something horrid that we don’t want to look back on.”
She knew his honesty was true as she knew Nat and Wanda’s past. And if theirs were similar to any of the others like he was saying, then Y/N could only imagine.
“But look at who you’ve become,” she smiled at him with hope. “If I come out the other end anything like you all, I’d be proud.”
He shared her smile at that. No words were exchanged for the next few seconds as they looked at each other with caring and doting grins.
When they realized that the energy had shifted some, they looked away and Bucky cleared his throat while Y/N moved the blanket around her lap, and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“So what movies were you planning on watching with Wanda?” Bucky asked, sitting with more weight into the arm of the couch.
“Um, she said we were going to do a 70’s movie theme, but had mentioned something about Grease,” she said the last word like a question, not sure if she was saying it right.
“Not bad, but how about a comedy instead?” Bucky offered.
“Is it from the 70’s?” she asked.
“Yes,” he smiled, taking the remote from the coffee table. “And it’s a classic. So Wanda will be happy about it.”
She laughed before grabbing some of the snacks and getting comfortable.
About 50 minutes into Young Frankenstein, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and Bucky took the opportunity to check the balcony screen door to get a view of where his sighting was last night in the daytime.
The bushes and trees that he had mentally marked happened to have a pretty good size opening compared to the neighboring foliage. A piece of him wondered if that was the mystery anomaly’s doing or if it just happened to be perfectly positioned by chance.
He took note of the birdhouse and an idea came to his mind for extra security. Maybe Sam’s crappy woodwork would actually serve a purpose.
He heard the sink turn off and Y/N opened the door to see Bucky already back in his seat as if he had never left.
“Ok, you can hit play,” she gave him the go ahead as she rubbed lotion into her hands.
Bucky went to hit play and right before hitting the button, his nose caught onto the scent. He turned his head to her and raised an eyebrow.
“Is that lavender?” he asked.
She turned to him, not picking up on his strange sudden interest.
She looked at her hands as she rubbed the last bit of moisturizer up her wrists some when she realized what he was talking about.
“Oh, yeah. Wanda got me some as a gift since the smell helps calm me down,” she answered. Then she thought out loud as she adjusted in her seat. “It’s strange though, it was a brand new bottle and I haven’t even had it for 2 weeks and it’s almost gone.”
“Huh…” he said softly and his heart was racing at the connections he was making. “That is strange.” He no longer was relaxed.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Maybe I started using more of it. It’s been a nice smell to help me relax, so I’ll have to have her get me another sometime soon.”
Bucky didn’t even hear what she was saying as he was staring blankly at the balcony door to the bathroom.
She saw the remote in the couch seat between them and took it, hitting play without noticing Bucky’s demeanor change.
And on the outside, it really wasn’t telling. He was good at hiding his anxiety and thoughts to most. And this was something that he didn’t want Y/N learning about yet. Or maybe ever learn about.
Someone had to have access into her room. And all the clues were pointing to whoever was outside those walls had been peeking inside as well.
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