I can't remember if I reblogged a post I saw a while ago about lost stories because of lost storage, but today I was sorting out my creep and found this:
[ID: A left hand holding a black 3.5 inch diskette with a majority white label with a blue bar along the top with printed white text reading Gold Master. On the white portion of the label are several different handwritten labels - "Story 1", "Origins", "Story disk 1", "Do not overwrite", "Kat's disk 2 😺". in the background there is a basket with a sewing box and a paint palette sticking out of it. End image description]
This disk has, I assume, some of my old stories on it, but l cannot remember which ones, or anything about it, and I have no way of accessing it.
I am assuming the Kat on the disk is my cousin, since that's not my name 🤷♀️ like, she's the only Kat I knew at the time this was still a current technology...
Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2400+
TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.
A/N: Ok! First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's lovlies! I'm so excited to share this new series with and also very excited to see what comes of it:) I hope you all are safe, warm, and having some sort of fun during this time of the year. Whether that be by yourself or with friends and family, all ways are just fine and dandy! Anyway, here is my Christmas gift to you! I plan on posting a chapter every other day so I can give myself some time to write in between! Love love love you all! xoxoxo
Chapter 1:
Bucky asked one of the assistants to bring a change of clothes for their Jane Doe.
So far, they did a few more checkups on her, making sure she was ok to be released within the next hour, and Bucky stayed close by.
He seemed to be the only one she had a sense of ease around, as he was the only familiar face in her new environment. They didn't have much outside of that keeping her from completely freaking out.
Though, she seemed more relaxed now that she had been taken care of properly and wasn't in immediate danger like she was used to.
"Thanks, Stark," he replied through the phone before hitting the end and turning back to the girl. "You have a place to stay here if you want," he smiled softly as she fidgeted with the plastic medical bracelet that hung loose on her wrist.
She nodded in response and continued to monitor her surroundings while anxiously picking at the laminated name, Jane Doe, they had put on her.
"Natasha, one of my teammates who helped us find you on that mission; said she's happy to help you get anything you need. We have an extra room down the hall from her and she's already got you set up with all the necessities you'll need until we get you back on your feet," he explained as he watched her zone in on the beeping coming from the monitor still hooked up to her blood pressure. "If you need anything outside of that, just let me know and I'll see what I can do."
She never gave any indication that she acknowledged him this time, but he knew that look on her face. The reality of the situation was setting in and it was harsh drowning waves of flashbacks.
She didn't know her name. She didn't really know where she was. Who knew how long she was at that torturous facility? And they knew nothing besides the little bits of intel they had recovered from the database which they were still trying to hack.
Sometimes you just have to shut down fully to even start to comprehend a piece of it.
"I know this is a lot," he started really soft and carefully as he crouched in front of her making himself smaller to her. "It's a long process of piecing things back together and coming to terms with all that happened and how. But from experience, I can promise you there is a way out of that dark tunnel that feels like it's closing in on you."
She looked at him, eyes still harboring a sense of anxiety, but more so horror at the memories she knew would resurface now that she had to process them.
And she had to process them. That was the only way she knew she could move on from this situation and figure out what the hell happened to her.
Breaking her eye contact from him, she adjusted on the edge of the hospital bed and straightened the hand-me-down sweatshirt she was given for the time being.
"How much longer do I have to stay here?" she asked. Her voice was still raspy, but with time and lots of hydration, she was slowly regaining it.
Bucky was happy she wasn't completely mute. She had a strength in her that he knew would pull through with time. It was all a matter of how much time though.
"Alma said within the next hour if you're still ok, we can go ahead and get you moved. They want to make sure you aren't going to have a reaction to any of the antibiotics they gave you," he replied.
For some reason, she wanted to laugh at that thought. Antibiotics would be water compared to the things she had injected into her in the past. There were going to be no side effects and she knew that.
At that moment, her stomach reminded the two that she hadn't had solid food for the whole time she was there. Who knows how long it had been before then too?
"How about I talk to Alma about an early check out and then we get you something to eat?" he asked, smirking as she self-consciously placed her hand on her stomach. "What's something you like?"
He was hoping the simple question would spark something, but if anything it caused her to give a confused look. Then it slowly saddened as she realized she didn't know what she liked.
"How about I pick a favorite of mine and we see how you feel?" he asked, standing up and placing his hands on his hips.
"Ok," she nodded.
"Ok," he confirmed. "I'm going to go talk to Alma and we'll go from there."
__________________
Figuring it was best to not go out in public just yet, he made do with the ingredients that Stark thankfully kept stocked in the shared Avenger's kitchen.
He showed her where her room was for the time being and introduced her to Nat who helped her get situated and accustomed to the new place.
After a quick shower and a fresh pair of clothes that weren't scrub pants and a sweatshirt some agent had taken from lost and found, she looked like a new person.
The circles under her eyes were still dark and semi-sunken from malnourishment that would take more than just a few days of saline and antibiotics to heal. However, the Y/E/C color in her eyes was shining differently given the newfound security she was being introduced to. Her face no longer held marks of dirt and residue from the explosion and he could see her complexion with more details.
Her Y/H/C hair was washed and he noticed a hint of waves to it as it dried, now that it had been properly cleaned and taken care of.
She came and sat at the island bar, reserved and keeping a high sense of awareness of her unfamiliar and new environment. So far it had proved to be safe, but she never had known a time when she didn't have to watch her back constantly.
"Not sure how you feel about pancakes for dinner, but I know it's a go-to comfort food for me and a few other people I know," he commented, setting a plate of the hot breakfast food in front of her.
He had brought out all the works not knowing what she liked and didn't.
Fresh-cut fruit was in one bowl, nuts and granola in another, chocolate chips and chocolate syrup placed on the other side, and of course butter and syrup ready to be picked if wanted.
"I'm not sure if you eat meat, but I can make some bacon or sausage," he offered as he watched her eyes take in the buffet of toppings. "Or eggs..." he added, not sure what she was thinking.
"What do you usually do?" she asked, looking up at him.
He hadn't expected that question, but he looked at the toppings and thought about it.
"I guess a good amount of butter and some syrup is a classic," he leaned against the other side of the island. "I eat a little more than the average person, so I usually add a protein in there somewhere."
"I'll do that then," she replied. "I'm really not sure what I like." She mumbled the last part, and Bucky could hear a hint of frustration in it.
Maybe the excess amount of choices wasn't the best idea, but he had hoped to spark a memory from it.
"Well, consider it a fresh start. Now you have the freedom to experience things and see for yourself what you like and dislike," he said with hope in his tone.
For the first time, he saw a glimpse of a smile turn at the corner of her mouth. It was a nice look on her.
The two sat and ate breakfast for dinner and he coaxed her to try a little bit of it all just to see what she thought.
She realized she liked chocolate. Quickly after learning that, she had added an excessive amount of chocolate syrup to the remainder of her pancakes and began adding different fruits to them as well. Chocolate and strawberries became her favorite combination, though who could blame her?
He chuckled as she discovered her sweet tooth and knew from personal experience just how euphoric such a simple choice can make someone who has been controlled all their known life feel.
Then slowly she became more relaxed and started asking Bucky questions.
"I heard someone call you Sergeant," she noted, swirling a strawberry that was on her fork through the leftover chocolate on her plate. "Are you in the army?"
"I was," he answered, wadding up his napkin and throwing it on his empty plate. "Not anymore, technically."
"Technically?"
"I'm a part of a smaller group now. But saving people and going on missions to take down some really shitty people is still part of the job," he nodded.
"Does your group have a name?" she asked.
"Hmm mmm," he hummed, turning his body back to her. "The Avengers."
He paused wondering if that name would ring any bells. But her face was blank as if the infamous name had never once crossed her path.
She hummed to herself and placed her dirty silverware on top of the cleaned-off plate.
"Who are you all Avenging?" she asked.
"Depends on the day," he chuckled at the wording of her question. "Here. I'll take those," he reached over, taking the plates and stacking them before moving to do the dishes.
"Thank you for that," she nodded appreciatively at his actions. "Thank you for everything really. I-I don't know what would have happened to me if you all weren't there to..." She didn't finish her thought.
He could tell the topic of that day was a sensitive one, but he was happy that he could be a decent memory in a fucked up situation.
"It's what we do," he replied.
She looked up and that small little smile was back for a fleeting second before she was hit with the trauma that came with the memory.
"Listen, I'd like to call you something else besides Jane Doe. Any chance there's a name you remember that you think could be yours?" he asked, trying to redirect her thought process.
"Right," she said softly, her eyebrows furrowing as she thought hard about it. He could see the recall working through her eyes as she tried to pull it from memories she had most likely tried to erase. "I'm not sure," she finally said, somewhat defeated.
"That's ok. How about you sleep on it and hopefully it'll come back to you. If not, it's just another thing you get to choose," he smirked.
She nodded before a yawn came over her. Her eyes drooped at the motion as her body begged for rest.
"We should call it a night. You've had a long enough day and I think it would be good for your body to get a well-deserved break." He put the last dish away and moved around the corner. "I'll walk you back to your room. This place can be a maze the first couple days here."
She yawned again and turned in the stool and hopped off to the ground in a quiet and careful manner. She was quite a bit shorter than him and it was the first time he noticed. Every time before, she had been in bed or slouched into his side running away from an explosion.
"Um," she hesitated, pausing just steps outside her door. He stopped in his step ahead of her and turned to her. "What do I do if I need help or someone to-," she stopped and he knew where she was going with it.
Someone to protect her.
"Do you want me to show you where my room is in case you need to find me?" he asked, and she looked past his shoulder down the long corridor of random doors. Then she nodded. "See that door on the other side of the hall?" He pointed directly to the other side just two doors down from her. "My door is unlocked most of the time and I'll be in there. Feel free to knock if you need anything."
His look was comforting to her as it held a promise that he would be at her beck and call until they found out more information.
She nodded once again in affirmation and turned to the knob and twisted it open to her room.
Bucky walked to his room but stopped just outside waiting for her to completely disappear behind the door before carrying on with his night.
As she began to shut the door, he turned into his but was stopped at the sound of his name.
"Bucky," she said as a statement. He turned his attention to her. "Thank you. I know I've said it already, but I really do respect all that you've done for me this far."
"It's part of my job," he replied and a part of him wanted to punch himself in the face right there.
A look of surprise passed over her expression as she began deducting that this was just a job to him. Though it had started that way, Bucky had found a form of sentiment to this girl and her background.
It was still part of his job, but he quickly learned that he was a little more attached to this whole case than he planned to be. It was too close to home for him to just be another job. He knew the pain, the trauma, and the sense of constantly having to learn trust with each passing day.
You can't fully do that with someone who sees you as a job.
By the time he had processed how his comment would have come off to her, she was already behind the door giving a quick nod and disappearing.
He shut his eyes in frustration and annoyance at himself. One step forward, two steps back.
He'd find a way to make it up to her and show her this was more personal to him than he was leading it on to be. That kind of connection is the first step in building trust and helping someone like her get out of the hole she's known for too long.
He debated on going and knocking on the door and explaining that second, but he needed rest and so did she. They weren't going to make any progress on exhaustion and weak bodies.
If you would like to be tagged in this upcoming series, please comment on this chapter! Thank you:)
Finding Memories Taglist: (some would not let me tag. so if you see your name but didn’t get the notification, double check if your blog allows tags:)
Finding Memories Sequel: (I advise you to read the 1st series for context).
Series Summary: Following the aftermath of Finding Memories, Bucky tries to complete goals he feels she would have discovered for herself as a way to let her memory live on. However, he never expected to find someone very close to who he believed she would have been if given the chance of normalcy. A journey of mourning someone he lost, turned into a journey of discovering someone new, happens upon the soldier. Maybe this whole normal thing isn’t as bad as he had pictured it in his mind. Maybe he had a better shot at it than he ever tried to imagine.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader insert
Chapter Word Count: 4000+
A/N (PLEASE READ): So I may or may not have gone back on my deal to not post until I finished writing it all, but I'm 15 chapters in, and though I have a ton more to write, I wanted to drop the first chapter for my Finding Memories people to have some closure, and also to see where Bucky's story plans to lead.
This series is told through 1st person unlike a lot of my others, but I realize I like this style a lot more. So all this is from Bucky's perspective in this chapter. I also understand this may seem a little confusing with this being a reader insert for both these stories, so using Y/N will make it harder to tell the difference between the characters. I’ll be calling our previous Y/N from the Finding Memories series, Sloan, just to avoid confusion. But please don’t let that take away from any of the personal aspects of the story. This is just a continued story of Bucky finding happiness after the ending of Finding Memories. (Just think of it as him falling for you 2x ;) There is a note at the bottom after reading so please read that when you finish!
Last note! For each chapter, I am connecting a song from the playlist our last reader left and Bucky took on his own. The song will play off the vibes of each chapter. You don't have to listen if you don't want to, but it is here as a little piece of Bucky's theme (sometimes thought processes and feelings) in each chapter. Enjoy!
Playlist song: At Last by: Etta James
Chapter 1:
4 years and 364 days had gone by since her passing.
Almost 5 years, 2 weeks, and 4 days since I had rescued her.
I think the reason it stuck with me was that this was one of those missions that carrying on like normal afterwards, wasn’t really an option.
When you lose someone on the field, whether you know them or not, a piece of you is saddened that someone lost their life. Normal. Human. Emotions.
However, you feel depressed and emotionally stuck when it’s someone you had become familiar with and plan to continue to grow familiar with.
It hurt even more when it was someone who deserved to go far in life and learn so many things about themselves in a healthy and safe environment. It was a stab to the heart to know she never saw that for herself and had made a decision no one should be put in the position to make.
But it happened. In the very likely chance someone was to find her and use her for her powers again, she erased all possibilities of it getting into the wrong hands. And with it erased all chances to experience the good in the world as well.
After she died, Bruce and Tony tested her blood to find what the other mutation was even if I knew for the most part.
We didn’t have much time to understand it, or for her to really explain all the pieces that came with her enhancements that she seemed to remember the day before her ultimate fate. But from what she had passed onto me in the last moments of her life, I feel like I had some kind of grasp of it.
Her hand over my heart seconds before her powers consumed her was more than just a sentimental goodbye. She shared within that touch her fears, her intentions, her understandings, and the peace she found in her decision.
It was something I could never explain in words to someone else, but it was a feeling that made me understand why it all had to come to the end that it did.
She had told me the night before, that her powers were created from the cosmos, and it was a power that could bring an end to society and the world we try so hard to keep afloat in what feels like constant choppy waters.
She didn’t have to go into too much depth about what all that meant, but it would soon be proven within hours of explaining to me that we would not get the end we hoped for.
I can’t lie and say I never expected things to take the turns they did. I live the life I have constantly considering the worst-case scenarios, and her death was always one of those scenarios as soon as we saved her in that hidden terrorist facility.
Bruce and Tony confirmed that her gifts were something that could be world-ending and quickly incinerated her blood so that no one could get ahold of that kind of power down the line.
The wishes she made on her deathbed were met and I was trying to meet all the other ones she had made and never got the chance to do herself.
It took me a while to go into her room and start to clean out the few personal items she had slowly gathered in the short time she was there, but really there wasn’t much to clean.
She had a few plants. I took one and Wanda took the other. Her clothes were either taken by Wanda or Nat and the rest were donated.
She had some books that had been gifted to her about random things she had found interest in while trying to find herself. A cookbook, a book on herbs and plants she used to read to put a name to the plants on the compound during her walks, and some history books Parker was kind enough to loan her so she could catch up with the world around her.
The only other thing of significance I found, and didn’t realize was something she kept, was a journal. It was in the nightstand drawer, but it had been hidden under all the other books she had collected.
Inside, it was a list of notes she made about those she had become close with.
1. Wanda is from Sokovia and she had a brother named Pietro whom she misses dearly.
2. Nat had a sister that’s on missions across seas and sees her every other month, but they keep in contact when able.
3. Bruce has 7 PhDs but has test anxiety.
4. Tony blast rock music that can be heard 3 levels above. (check songs to see if they spark anything…)
5. Bucky acts like Sam annoys him, but I secretly think they’re just as good of friends as he and Steve are.
6. Steve and Bucky grew up together and from what Nat said, “One looks for trouble the other follows cause he still sees Steve as a 90lb Brooklyn kid.”
7. Sam is from Louisanna and mentioned making a shrimp boil… (Still need to look that up...)
8. Bucky likes to prank Sam and Steve in small ways that they never figure out and it drives them slightly insane.
9. Spiderboy is incredibly smart but is also somehow very naive to the teasing he gets from everyone else.
10. Movie nights are something that everyone gets excited about and they all have very different tastes in movies to show me. So far, I've enjoyed the comedies the most. (Peter picked the movie Grown-ups and some of the things they do make no sense and are extremely goofy, but I think that's why I liked it...)
The list went on for about five pages of random things she discovered and felt were important to know about the team and sometimes even herself.
But in the back, only found if you looked through each page of the small journal, was a list of things she wanted to try once she felt ready and was given the chance to.
It didn’t feel right ripping the pages out for myself, or taking the journal and ruining it with my scribbles, so I copied the list in a notebook of my own and added some things I think she would have enjoyed if I was given the chance to show her.
She only got about 24 things written that she wanted to experience in the real world. Most of which were simple things most take for granted having the choice to do any day.
Right now I was looking at number seven;
7. Go to a coffee shop and try different drinks with cinnamon in them. Find a favorite, so I can eventually say, “I’ll have the usual,” like they do in the movies.
It was hard to know what her favorite would have been, but I did the best I could. Eventually, I had a usual at the coffee shop I started the adventure on.
“He’s back.” The barista whose head was in the pastry display shot up and smiled toward me. “It’s been a minute since we’ve seen you. Life or work in the way this time?”
“What’s the difference?” I responded though it came across a little more melancholy than I meant.
Luckily, Trudy, the shop owner, had become familiar with me enough to know it’s just how I talk.
“Get him the usual, dear,” she said to the worker at the front as she wrapped a muffin and handed it to a customer waiting on the side.
When the worker just looked at her wide-eyed and freaked out, Trudy laughed to herself and pointed her to another task.
“Forgot she’s only been here for 2 days,” Trudy’s New York accent was strong as she typed in my regular order. “So. Any big bad guys in the world I should be worryin’ about or do you have it handled?”
“Nothing for you to worry about, Trud,” I smiled as she grabbed a cup and wrote one of her new names for me on it. She was clever with what she could come up with depending on the day. “Sorry, I haven’t been in. I was sent overseas for a bit the last few weeks.”
“You haven’t come in a month,” she said with a raised motherly eyebrow.
“Hate to break it to ya, but there are bad guys I have to take care of over here too. They keep me just as busy sometimes,” I chuckled, moving out of the way in case someone else needed to order.
“Yeah, yeah,” she groaned, grabbing a pastry and wrapping it up for me. “I made a new recipe from my Italian side of the family. Give it a try,” she stuck a sticker on it to seal the bag and came around the counter to give it to me. “Tell me how you like it.”
“How much?” I went on to grab cash knowing she likely wouldn’t let me pay anyway.
“Cost ya a review on Yelp,” she pushed it on me more. “I had someone come in the other day and try and cheat the system to get free stuff, and when I wouldn’t budge she lowered my rating on the damn website.”
“I don’t think one bad rating will hurt ya, Trud,” I sighed, taking it and putting the cash in the tip jar instead.
“Eh, I like to counter it with a good one where I can. Plus, I’m running out of fake emails to do it myself. Help a gal out.”
I laughed knowing she may have been a small hole-in-the-wall business, but she got enough foot traffic to keep her afloat even if she joked about going under if I didn’t give her reviews and tell my friends about it.
Before I could give her peace of mind knowing I’d help in any way she asked me, the bell rang as another customer came in.
I looked back absentmindedly and saw a woman with her head down while she talked on the phone, but was kind enough to go to the side and finish her conversation before walking to the register.
“That drink ready?” Trudy shouted to the back and just in time a barista walked out with the cup of my “usual” drink and handed it off. “I’ll be seeing ya sometime soon, right?” She withheld the coffee until I confirmed.
“Tomorrow,” I promised knowing I had one thing planned and I knew it wouldn’t be interrupted.
“Good. Have a good one, Boomer,” she winked and I looked to see the name matched on the cup.
“What does that mean?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Something the kids are calling old people like you and me,” she shrugged. “Figured if I was going to be called it, you should too.”
I rolled my eyes playfully before giving a final goodbye and heading toward the doors. The woman that had come in was hanging up the phone and happened to look up at the same time I passed.
She had soft eyes and smiled up at me in a polite way before sidestepping and moving to the counter.
I couldn’t help but stop with my hand on the door handle as I looked at her trying to grasp who she reminded me of.
She had kind features and her light smile was what made me do a double take. I may have imagined it, but something about her beamed at me in a way that I couldn't shake.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when someone else tried to come in and I quickly opened the door for them and moved out of the way. But I looked in the shop one more time seeing Trudy smiling back at the woman and sharing a similar banter she had with me.
I honed in my hearing some and caught the middle of the conversation.
“I would ask if you want your normal order, but it’s been so long I’m not sure if it’s the same,” Trudy teased.
“The move has been great. Thanks for asking Trudy,” the woman remarked with a laugh.
It would become creepy pretty quickly with me just staring and eavesdropping in the doorway, so I moved on even if I was intrigued to hear the rest of this conversation.
I took my time walking to my car since the woman’s face was sticking in my mind. Something seemed oddly familiar of her, but I couldn’t put a finger on what it was.
________________________
“Hey, I was looking for you!” Sam’s voice sounded as soon as I walked into the kitchen.
“I’d rather you weren’t,” I said back, going to the trash to throw my cardboard cup away and grab a snack from the fridge.
“Hardy, har, har,” Sam responded. “But really. I need help with a file I can’t access.”
“Maybe you can’t access it for a reason,” I gave a smug smile to him as I shut the fridge and took a bite out of the apple I stole from it.
“You're really channeling that clown energy as Parker would say today, aren't you?” he gave me a straight face before pulling papers I hadn’t noticed beforehand and passed them to me. “It’s just some notes on a mission we did last week, but I need to tweak some things. For some reason, the file isn’t giving me access so I was going to ask if I can go through your account.”
“Have Tony look at your account. Maybe the clearance level got mixed up. He had a new protection server put in the other week and a few accounts were tweaked.”
“Well, he's not in his lab.”
“Ok,” I dragged out. “Sounds like a personal problem.”
“Barnes, just let me on your account for two seconds to fix it and then I’ll go and find him. It won’t take me longer than five minutes,” Sam groaned.
I could continue to give him a hard time, but I needed to get some things ready for tomorrow and wasn’t in the mood to keep up my normal antics.
“Fine. Where’s your computer?” I huffed, biting into the apple again and waiting for him to bring it to me.
He smiled like he won, even though I could still say no if I wanted, and grabbed the laptop on the counter and handed it off to me.
I logged in like normal and went to the file, but was stopped when I came to the same problem he had.
“What the hell?” I glared at the screen and tried a few more tricks but this new protective program Tony had installed was foreign to me.
“Damn it,” Sam crossed his arms and sighed. “You’re the third person now. Why won’t it let me see this damn file?”
I looked at him waiting for him to explain.
“I asked Nat and Wanda too. No luck,” he shrugged.
That was strange. It was a file from the mission we had done last week. A thief that had been stealing intel from some division in the SHEILD operations over some classified information, but we had captured and incarcerated the hacker.
“Friday,” I asked into the void and her voice followed.
“How can I help, Sargent Barnes?”
“Why aren’t we able to get into these files?”
There was a pause as she tried to find the answer.
“It seems to be in a classification you don’t have access to. Clearance levels are not high enough. Would you like me to call Mr. Stark?”
Sam and I shared a look that showed we were on the same page. There were very few things we didn't have access to, so the system was screwed or not modified after the update. At least that was to hoping it was something that simple.
“No. Where’s Tony at?” I asked instead.
“He’s headed to the lobby. He has an appointment with Ms. Clark.”
The name didn’t sound familiar, though there were a lot of people Stark talked to that I never cared to learn about. He was the face of the team anyway, so luckily he handled a majority of the social aspects of our job.
“Thanks, Friday,” I nodded my head to the exit.
Sam nodded in agreement and we made our way to the lobby to find him.
It wasn’t a portion of the compound we were usually in, so seeing people in business suits coming and going always reminded me of the mass amount of workers who never did fieldwork that came and went.
“Stark,” I shouted once I spotted him at one of the reception desks talking with the secretary that was handing him papers she had just printed.
He turned at his name and looked at us both confused as to why we would be there.
“Got a question for ya,” Sam started out.
“Can it wait? I have a meeting with someone I actually like,” he said sarcastically.
Before I had the chance to spit something back at him and give him a taste of his own medicine, Sam took over.
“I need access to a file of the mission report we just came back from, but it’s not allowing me to get to it,” he summed up.
“Strange,” Tony hummed, looking at the papers he was previously handed as if our issue was nothing for him to worry about.
“It won’t let me through either,” I said and he eventually looked up rolling his eyes before putting the papers on the counter and giving us his attention finally.
“Can this wait like 20 minutes?” he asked.
“It might be because of your new and overly complicated-” I started and once again, Sam saved me from saying something that would probably have Tony ignoring us the rest of the week if I wasn't careful.
“We’ll wait,” Sam nodded. “We’ll be over there.”
He pointed to a few chairs off to the side and nodded his head for me to follow. Though I was against the motion, I obliged to not make matters more annoying. I’d give him 20 minutes, but I was just as intrigued by this issue as Sam was now.
Tony went back to the secretary and grabbed the papers looking through them before grabbing a pen and sloppily marking random things out before handing it back.
Just as he turned back, he seemed to have spotted who he was looking for to begin with and I followed his eyeline.
Walking in and looking around marveling at the size of the place before seeing Tony and smiling at him, was the same woman who I had seen at the coffee shop. The same one who was talking to Trudy about a move.
I must have been staring while she and Tony met in the middle and started casually conversing. She reached into the tote she was carrying and handed Tony what looked like a sweater and a folder, but he only took the piece of clothing leaving her with just the folder still in hand.
My stare must have been unmoving cause Sam nudged me with his shoulder and gave me a weird look when I broke out of my trance.
“What are you gawking at?” he asked, looking where I was and raising his eyebrows. “Oh, I see.”
I furrowed my eyebrows and gave him a disapproving look to show his mind wasn’t in the right place.
“Shut up,” I grunted, slouching some in my spot, but only to show disinterest in an attempt to push him off my case.
“No, I get it. She’s a pretty lady,” Sam chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning back in his own seat. “Just didn’t see you looking for something like that anytime soon-”
“Don’t get any ideas,” I cut him off. “I saw her at a coffee shop earlier today and she just looked familiar. That’s it.”
He looked from me back at the girl and turned his head as he analyzed her.
She was smiling at something Stark was saying and shaking her head about whatever it was he was grinning about. I wasn’t sure what the conversation could even be about, and with the loud echoing space, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what was being shared.
“I have an idea,” Sam spoke up after a second and stood up without any hesitance, and walked towards the two.
“Sam, wait! Stop! What are you doing?” I whisper shouted sitting up and looking around as if someone else was in on this idea with him.
When he didn’t turn back or let up in his steps, I was quickly on my feet trying to get ahead of him to stop him, but he was walking faster causing us to interrupt the two abruptly and throw them both off.
“Hi,” Sam smiled kindly at her then back at Stark.
“I told you I would help you after I talked with-,” Tony started, but Sam patted his shoulder and made him pause.
“Sam Wilson,” he went on to introduce himself while putting his other hand out for her.
The woman seemed surprised by the introduction, but she was kind nonetheless and extended her own hand before introducing herself.
“Y/N Clark,” she smiled. “Nice to meet you.”
Sam turned to me and she followed his look. I wasn’t prepared to talk to her, but I wasn’t going to be rude and just sit there silently and stare at her.
I extended my hand as well and she smiled at the motion.
“James Barnes,” I gave a tight smile, but it wasn’t because of her, it was because I was seconds from punching Sam right in the chest for putting me in this position.
“Mr. Barnes. Nice to meet you,” she nodded, returning the handshake and it was surprisingly firm.
I would have paid mind to the detail, but now being in close proximity to the woman, I was seeing features that I hadn’t taken in before.
She had Y/H/C hair, Y/E/C eyes, and her smile was one I had seen before. She was wearing a bright red checkered winter coat that sat on top of a tan sweater tucked into a nice pair of brown slacks. It seemed fitting for her even if I hadn’t known anything about her. But something in her persona showed she was kind and had a welcoming nature.
Tony rolled his eyes once again and decided to go ahead and introduce us.
“Cyborge and Birdman, this is Ms. Clark. She’s Morgan’s teacher. Ms. Clark, these are two of my most impatient coworkers,” Tony motioned to us. “Who I asked to give me a second before I talked with them…” The glare he was giving us pulled me away from staring at her longer than what would have been socially acceptable.
“Thank this one for the interruption,” I shouldered Sam harshly which he became slightly unbalanced from and gave me another glare.
“Just seemed rude to not introduce your colleagues,” Sam gritted through his teeth, talking to me when the comment was directed to Tony.
“It’s fine,” Ms. Clark spoke up, breaking the growing tension between us three, and I immediately turned my attention back to her. “I was here to just drop off these two things anyway.”
“Yeah, well, I had a few things I wanted to discuss without,” Tony continued, only taking a second in between to send us yet another death stare, “this interruption.”
“I appreciate what you’re offering, but I’ve already told you I have a job set with another district after this year,” she smiled professionally, and I couldn’t help but smile myself at seeing someone say no to Tony.
“Yeah, but… Money.” His eat-shit grin worked on the weak-minded, but clearly, she was not that.
“Money is great and all, but it's not what this is about, Mr. Stark,” she chuckled, readjusting her tote on her shoulder. "Maybe after winter break and I get some paperwork back from the new school I'll be at, we will better understand what I'll have on my plate."
“That sounds like a well-worded way to put this conversation off,” Tony smirked.
She returned it which proved he was right, but she wasn’t falling for his schemes still.
“It’s Christmas break, Mr. Stark. Have a great vacation with your family and happy holidays,” she nodded, turning to walk out, but not completely turned away. “You two as well. I hope the world is kind enough to give you all a break as you deserve during this time.”
“If I know anything about teaching, I know you’ll be needing a break just as much,” Sam shouted in her direction with a smile.
She laughed at that and it was a sound that made it hard not to smile as a reaction to it.
“Happy Holidays,” she said one final time, waving kindly and moving to the exit.
“Well, she seems nice,” Sam grinned in a teasing manner and turned to face us both by taking her place.
“This is why I haven’t brought her around here,” Tony sighed heavily and ran a hand through his beard. “Now, what do you two want?”
Sam followed quickly after Tony, who was already walking back to the lab, but I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes from the red checkered jacket that was out the doors now and walking down the steps.
It was another feeling that I couldn’t quite put into words…
I unfortunately don't have a release date for the next chapter as I am going to stick to my promise of finishing the series before I post any further. This is just to give an idea of what's to come! As always, any likes or reblogs, and comments (even if just a heart or a gif) makes my blood, sweat, and tears for this series feel validated :') ANYWHO!! I'm excited to share with you all the stories to come with this series and these characters because in writing them, I've fallen in love with them myself.
Let me know if you want to be tagged by sending me an ask here!
Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 3400+
TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.
A/N: I finished chapter five yesterday, and am currently working on chapter 6 after I post this. Also, Happy New years! I hope this upcoming year is everything you all manifested and hope for. It’s all about setting those intention and acting as if the things you want are already happening for you:) Love you all and here’s to 2023! xoxoxox
Chapter 4:
A week and three days at the compound had passed. Y/N had become more comfortable with her environment and had been introduced slowly to a few more members of the team.
Parker had been a little overwhelming at first, but quickly his dorkiness and clumsy side showed he wasn't a threat to her. If anything, he was more helpful in the pop culture area than he had been for the 100-year-old soldier.
When he was doing history homework at the kitchen island one night after a meeting, Y/N's curiosity brought her to him and she learned about the different wars including the Cold War, WWI, and WWII. Of which Bucky and Steve had a few comments on when Peter knew just the right questions to ask to bring up stories.
Wanda had shown Y/N how to cook a few simple and easy meals in case she was hungry and didn't want to microwave a frozen meal. Oatmeal, soup, and grilled sandwiches of different varieties had become favorite ways for her to have some independence.
Nat helped her add to her wardrobe besides sweats and sweatshirts that only held up for a short-term stay, whereas her stay was looking to be longer and longer due to no updates in her case.
It gave her a chance to try out some new style pieces even if they were only for casual and lounge-type situations. It was better than the gray and black sweatpant materials for all articles of clothing she had been wearing the first few days here.
She was still discovering her likes and dislikes from all the different genres of fashion, but at the end of the day, she liked the simple yet comfortable look.
One night, Wanda, Nat, and herself spent the majority of their movie night just online shopping for her new wardrobe with Tony's credit card.
Bucky had walked in and seen the James Bond movies Nat was obsessed with playing in the background as the three were pointing out different websites and styles they thought she would like. The exploding car on the giant movie screen did nothing to pull the three away from the smaller screen in front of them.
And on the nights Y/N had enough energy and enough people were there, the team would host a movie night in the theater room and each took turns sharing their favorite movie with her in hopes to add to their fan club.
Nat stuck with a different variation of James Bond movies for the most part, wanting to show the differences in actors and how they carry out the idolized role of 007. That and to make note of where she got the inspiration for some of her moves.
Wanda stuck to old 50's films or movies that were set in that decade. She had a love for the classics, but she was moving through her favorite decade movies the more movie nights they had.
Steve chose historical movies but was kind enough to do historical fiction to please the boos and annoyed grumbles from his friends.
Sam's choices ranged from classics that everyone needed to see, to rom-coms from the 90s. He argued that his sister was the reason he had started watching them, and he didn't really care to stop.
And the Parker kid... His were all old 70's and 80's sci-fi movies. Bucky never quite understood them, but they were interesting concepts. At this point, he had fought space aliens and Star Wars just seemed odd after that.
Bucky never suggested a movie as he was just happy to see that Y/N was truly comfortable with the team about a week in. It was impressive how fast she trusted them, but also it's hard to be shocked by how fast it all happened when you had a team like theirs.
Right now, Wanda and Y/N were out on a walk around the compound. They found themselves scheduling times to walk and talk by the waterside behind the facility. Wanda was also one to know what it was like to be experimented on in a lab. Though her situation was different, as she had volunteered, it didn't mean that trauma for her reasoning and what happened after didn't affect her.
Bucky could see them walking back into the compound from the seat by the window he was at. He put his book down and slowly started making his way to the kitchen.
Steve had walked in shortly before him and was grabbing a protein shake from the fridge.
"Hey, I thought you were going to meet me in the gym earlier," Steve spoke up, removing his headphones which sat on his neck after spotting his friend.
"Yeah, sorry, I needed to run an errand," Bucky replied, moving to lean on the island opposite him.
"All good. I figured something came up," Steve waved off, taking a long drink.
"Hey, quick question," Bucky spoke up. Steve hummed for him to continue. "You don't think it's too early to take her out in public do you?"
"Y/N?" Steve questioned, even though he knew to whom he was referring.
"Yeah, I just don't want to freak her out if she's not ready for that," Bucky explained.
"Well, I don't think it's a bad idea. But why exactly do you want to?" he asked.
"We haven't got any updates on her since Bruce got back to me on the blood analysis. As you know, Nat said the system crashed while she was hacking it and wiped half of the memory on it. The little bits and pieces of her case have been sorted through with a fine-toothed comb. We're running out of things to narrow down what happened to her and what the purpose of her being the weapon could be." Bucky sighed as he said his thoughts aloud and continued to think about what he could do. "Her memory isn't getting much better."
"That's not true," Steve nodded off, twisting the cap to his drink back on, and walked to get a glass of water. "She remembered her birthday the other day and she hadn't even seen her own file."
"True, but information-wise, that was something we already knew," Bucky shrugged.
"But it's still a part of the process," he countered and Bucky shut down as he thought more. "Look, it's like you said. The safer her environment and the more comfortable she becomes in who she is and where she is, she'll start to unlock some of those memories."
"That's the thing, the stuff we need to unlock aren't necessarily the things I want to unlock..."
Steve could see the hurt and conflict on his friend's face. He knew in order to help her and everyone around her, the ugly things would have to be sorted through first. They were at a standstill when it came to the next step in the investigation. With most of the data lost, it meant they needed to find a different route around it.
One of those options being to provoke her trauma and have her relive it to get details from it.
"Then start small. Think of a place that's public, but gives you a sense of peace still. What's a place you would go to clear your mind, but also helps ignite some deeper thoughts?" Steve offered a solution.
Bucky hesitated as nothing came to mind immediately then it sparked in him.
"I think I have a place," he replied.
Perfect timing, Wanda and Y/N walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, guys," Wanda greeted.
"Hey," Steve replied. "How's the weather out today?" he asked in casualty.
"It's chilly, but nothing too bad," she answered, grabbing fruit from the basket on the counter. "Y/N and I found that duck family on the pond again."
"About time for them to head south soon, huh?" Steve continued.
"Give or take a week," she nodded, peeling an orange. "What are you guys up to?"
Bucky watched as Y/N did her best to blend into the background of the group and not stick out. She may be comfortable with them, but trauma doesn't heal overnight. Her need to not be a centerpiece was a behavior developed from being under constant surveillance most of her past.
"I'm about to head down to the lab to talk with Stark and Banner about something," Steve answered. "Which reminds me, I think there was something Bruce wanted to ask your opinion on. Wanna go down there with me?"
Bucky knew it was his friend's way to give him and Y/N a second to talk, but it was subtle and no one picked up on the actual reason for his invitation.
"Yeah, sure," Wanda nodded, quickly throwing away the peel and saying goodbye to the two as she followed the blonde.
"How are you feeling today?" Bucky asked after a few seconds of silence.
The night before, Bucky had heard sounds coming from her room that sounded as though things were crashing and breaking. He had knocked, but never actually waited for a response as he knew something wasn't right.
She was having a nightmare that initiated a panic attack upon waking up.
He had noticed as soon as he walked in that the lamp on her bedside table had been pushed off and shattered on the ground. She was still on the bed asleep, but before he could make it to her bed, she jumped up and was panting for air.
Her eyes were scanning the room for threats and upon seeing a large dark frame in the corner, she reached for something to protect her and managed to throw a remote at Bucky.
Her aim was surprisingly accurate for being in such a state of distress and for being in the complete dark, but Bucky was quick and caught it before it could hit him square in the eyes.
Once she recognized who he was, her adrenaline came crashing down quickly triggering a panic attack from everything put together.
He had to console her but realized quickly she didn't want to be touched. He kept his distance at the end of the bed as she curled into herself and he coached her through a breathing exercise.
About 45 minutes later, he could hear her heart rate slow down to a normal speed. Once he knew she wasn't in a high alert stage anymore, he offered a drink of water to help calm her nerves some more, but all she asked was that he stayed in the room. He still kept his distance but understood that she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts.
He was just glad he could be some form of peace in those types of moments even if the most he could do was sit and help her from the sidelines.
The event seemed to make her quieter this morning and afternoon. He contemplated if today would be a good day to even try Steve's idea.
She cleared her throat and nodded before answering.
"I'm doing better. Every other day I have a night like last night and it just leaves me pretty tired the next day..." Made sense. "I think I may need a change in routine truthfully," she added.
It was the perfect window to suggest his idea and he was slightly surprised that she was the one to ignite the solution.
"I was actually wondering if you'd be up for somewhere outside the compound," he hinted.
Her eyebrows raised at that.
"In New York?" she questioned.
"I have a place in mind and don't think it'll be too overstimulating," he noted. "I know that it's a big step from a place you just got your groundings in, but I'm hoping maybe it'll help with your memories as well."
"What did you have in mind?" She had a look of interest and Bucky knew he had her attention.
________________________
After getting changed for a public outing, Bucky grabbed a car from the garage and helped her in.
It was nice seeing her normal day-to-day clothes that she had a choice in. Her style was simple yet classic as Bucky could best put it.
She had put on a pair of high-waisted jeans with a gray turtleneck sweater tucked in and a cropped winter coat that fell just below her waistline. Her hair was down and had a slight wave to it from brushing it out after the shower and sleeping on it.
She looked like a normal civilian and a part of Bucky's heart was happy that she could have that experience now.
The ride there was pretty quiet for the most part. Bucky noticed Sam had left a CD in the car from a past trip and Y/N took in her surroundings while listening, deciding if she liked each song or not.
Bucky eventually found parking and came around her side to open the door for her. Whereas she would normally leave enough space between her and those around her to have room to escape if need be, Bucky noticed that she was a lot closer to him now in the new crowds.
It made sense as he was the only one she knew the intentions of while walking on the crowded sidewalk in New York.
Luckily the place they were going to wouldn't be as crowded and was just around the corner.
Bucky paid for their tickets and thanked the worker in the booth. He could tell she knew the place they were in from reading the sign outside, but her eyes showed she wasn't quite sure if she had actually been to an Art Museum before.
"What are you thinking?" he asked when he handed her the ticket and paused with her as she took in her surroundings.
"Hmm?" she hummed as if being brought out of her thoughts. "Oh, um." She paused trying to think. "Something about this atmosphere seems..."
He had become used to her sentences never being completed as most of the time she never quite knew how to put things into words.
"Familiar?" he asked.
"I guess something like that," she shrugged looking back at him.
"I'm hoping we can help figure out what makes it familiar," Bucky replied. "And if not, then it's just a new experience you get to add to your story."
Y/N smiled at his patience with her. She felt amity about the man in front of her that allowed her to lower her walls just a little more with each moment she spent with him.
"Have you been here before?" she asked, nodding to the gallery that waited in front of them.
"A few times," he answered. "There are a few pieces I want to show you once we get past these if you're up for it."
"Lead the way," she approved, staying a close step behind him as he began walking toward the art.
They got through about three different rooms of modern and portrait types of art. There were a few sculptures and abstract pieces as well.
Though she was intrigued by the forms of media, nothing seemed to spark much of her past...
What Bucky did notice though was her trait as an observer was still prevalent. With each piece of art she was intrigued by, she took the time to read the backstory, the artist's thoughts, and how they went about the piece from their perspective.
She made comments about the ones that were inspired by loved ones or someone close to the artist, saying things about how sweet and nice it is to see that type of love in the world. It was actually one of the same reasons Bucky loved museums like this.
In a life where the world has only shown you the pain and anger it holds, it's refreshing to see that there are merciful things in the same world. It gives a sense of hope to the ones who have yet to experience it.
"This part of the exhibit is my favorite," Bucky whispered as they turned a new corner.
Inside there was an immersive part of the art show. On the walls, floor, and ceiling; famous paintings and murals were in motion as they were projected on every part of the room.
It switched as they sat and watched the pictures slowly spin and flow around them as if they were in the painting itself.
Her mouth opened in shock and she looked all around her as she tried to comprehend the impressive spectacle.
"This is," she started, but again, couldn't find the words to finish it.
"I know exactly what you mean," Bucky chuckled, knowing that kind of response from experience.
The reason he had brought her to this was because it was his gateway to diving into the experiences he wasn't sure he had before. It was a way to put oneself in new environments and spark pieces of the past without having to travel outside one room.
They found a bench close to the back wall and perfectly positioned to be out of the traffic in the room and to watch it from all the best angles. Bucky couldn't help the grin that grew on his face as she was enamored at the changing colors and scenery in front of them.
And his grin only grew when she let a smile grace her lips.
That was until she saw The Starry Night by Van Gough and her face went from fascinated to freaked out.
Bucky knew that look from a mile away. That was the look of familiarity. Whether it was good or bad was unclear, but considering she looked troubled by the new scene, he was worried it was bringing up bad memories.
"Y/N?" he asked when he saw her eyes searching the room as if for an answer she was worried to discover. "Hey, you ok?"
For a split second, he could see the stars reflect in her eyes before she blinked rapidly and brought her hand to her head as if an instant headache had hit her.
"Um, yeah," she tried to shake it off.
As a reflex and without thinking, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder in an attempt to ground her some, but all it did was startle her. She jumped at the contact causing Bucky to take his hand back quickly.
She noticed the anxiety she had passed to him and started stumbling out an apology.
"I'm sorry... I d-didn't mean to jump. I-I-," she was taking short breaths in. "I, um," she looked around. "Is there a bathroom somewhere?" she asked, fidgeting uneasily in her seat.
"Yeah. I mean, yes," he stood up and gave her space as he motioned for her to follow him.
Luckily the bathroom was just around the corner and she excused herself quickly as she rushed in.
He was concerned for her but figured it was best to give her space. Trying to eavesdrop on her inside, and checking to make sure she wasn't having a panic attack, he stayed close to the door.
Just as he had tuned in, the intercom of the art exhibit started playing through the halls. It was louder than needed and the spy in him marked it as strange. It started with a simple announcement and then music to go along with the show went up in volume.
Another woman turned the corner and gave him a slight smile as she excused herself by him to use the bathroom herself.
The conversations of a few other bypassers Bucky had eavesdropped on, noted how the volume level was louder than usual and Bucky's instincts seemed to feel buzzed. Then he heard it. The lock on the bathroom door clicked.
It was a multi-person bathroom so the need for a lock on the exit door wasn't exactly for privacy. Something was wrong.
A muffled scream made him kick into action. The sound issue was a distraction.
"Y/N!" he turned to the door, banging it with his fist.
Again he heard muffled noises covered by metal doors being slammed into and what sounded like something being thrown and crashing into the wall.
"Y/N!" he shouted, this time knowing for a fact she was in trouble.
It would take more than a common lock to keep the soldier out. With a quick and calculated kick to the door, the crack of the lock busted against the wood and splintered the threshold.
The scene in front of him instantly switched him into fight mode.
If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask here. Thank you:)
Finding Memories Taglist: (some would not let me tag. so if you see your name but didn’t get the notification, double check if your blog allows tags:)
Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader
Word Count: 2800+
TW: Torture, cussing, gore, PTSD, triggers.
A/N: I hope this came out right as I was slightly intoxicated while writing it😂 Hence why this chapter has a few more jokes in it from the normal chapter, but I felt it was fitting since we’ve been so serious the last few chapters. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Your comments help me grow in writing :) xoxoxo
Chapter 22:
“I need to talk to Gabriel.”
All heads turned back toward the entrance of the room they were in and saw Y/N marching in. Her demeanor was a 180 turn from when she had left.
“You’ve said that,” Tony squinted an eye at her. “What happened?” His question was pointed to Wanda who was following in behind Y/N. He could tell something was up and he wanted in on what it was.
She didn’t answer but instead pointed at Y/N who could explain for herself.
“To keep what we still can simple, my memories have been coming back piece by piece,” she sighed, placing both hands on the side of the table she had left from earlier.
“They have?” Bucky had a look of concern on his face but it quickly changed to anger when he saw the guilty look Nat and Wanda shared. “You two knew…”
“Not our secret to be told,” Nat shrugged instantly wiping the guilt off her expression though she did feel it.
“Our job is to keep her protected,” Bucky hissed. The comment came only through his clenched teeth as he tried to stay level-headed, but was struggling.
“She’s in one piece,” Tony waved off. “What do you know, Y/N?” His mission was on one thing and he knew Bucky’s feelings were getting in the way.
Though he did agree they were supposed to work together to keep her protected, he also knew that no real harm would ever come to her. Especially if Wanda and Nat were by her side.
“That’s not the point,” Bucky continued to talk through his clenched jaw.
“Point or not, your damsel in distress seems a little bit in distress right now. How about we focus on that issue first?” Tony snarked back.
Bucky took a step toward Stark, but Y/N grabbed his shoulder pulling him back.
“We don’t have time. The people we are working against are much more of a problem right now.” She looked him deeply in the eyes. “And they have a reputation for being quite relentless when they want something.”
Bucky’s demeanor changed seeing the fear of her past in her eyes. They showed all he needed to know that her next move was more important, and for some reason, he could feel the urgency too. But not like he was feeling it himself, but as if she was passing the feeling onto him through her touch alone.
“How did you do that?” he looked down at her hand, knowing that it was giving off the transfer of energy.
Her eyes showed grief for something she had no time to actually grieve.
“I remembered some things.”
Those things were more than just power related.
And this time she didn’t have to send the emotion for him to feel it himself.
“If I know how to read a room, and I do,” Tony started.
“You don’t,” Wanda mumbled and Nat agreed with a head nod.
“You seem to be on a time crunch, yet we still haven’t gotten to the point of all this,” Tony looked at them both with wide eyes and hands out in waiting.
Y/N pulled her hand back to herself and turned to the group.
“Gabriel is brainwashed. He is not like that. Whatever they did to him, it wasn’t by choice. If I can break him out of that chemical fog he’s under, I can maybe get some information off of him. It could tell us what the real purpose of his being here is. If they infiltrated some of the world's most elite superheroes and good guys that can take down countries without hesitation, why do they so badly want to take me, an amnesia-ridden nobody, back?”
“We’ve already come to terms that they want your powers. Gabriel would probably say the same thing,” Tony said.
“Do you want to know their plan, or do you want to just settle for, ‘we came to terms with’. Cause last I checked, they’re sending bigger guns in each time.” Her sass was clear, but she kept a challenging face with it, making it more intimidating than sarcastic.
Bucky was arguing in his head that he wouldn’t label her as an amnesia-ridden nobody, especially after that comment.
He was happy to see the side of her that he was scared of pointed toward someone else. And when it’s Tony Stark, that’s just a bonus.
Everyone turned to Tony and instead of a sneer back, his lips turned into a giant grin.
“I like this version of you much more,” he crossed his arms before pointing a finger at her. “I can get behind working with her,” he threw a thumb at her when he looked at Nat, who of course rolled her eyes.
“Do you think Gabriel would know that kind of information?” Wanda asked. “Who’s to say if he was given any knowledge of their plans? The girls who came for you first were told nothing of who you were besides a target. They didn’t even know your background much.”
“Gabriel will. He knows the ins and outs of that place more than me.” She hesitated before saying the next part. “He was there before I was…”
The room was silent and they could tell she was saddened by the thought of him going through something that long.
“If you need to talk to him, we should go now,” Tony broke the silence and moved to grab a few things before heading to the door.
“Yeah, great reading the room,” Nat mumbled and Wanda elbowed her as she walked by. “Ow.”
_____________________________________
Down in the basement where the inmate was being held, they were unlocking the door and going through protocol before opening it when Wanda walked to her side.
“You sure about this? I know it was a lot going in before…”
“It’s different now.”
“It’s been less than 5 hours.”
“Yeah, well, 5 hours ago I didn’t have the memories I have now,” she shrugged taking a breath and straightening her posture some.
“Another reason I’m worried about this,” Wanda raised an eyebrow watching her. “This is a lot in a little amount of time to process all this. Take it from someone who’s worked under emotional distress; it’s best to walk away from it and come back when you’re ready.”
“We don’t have time, Wanda,” she sighed, dropping her shoulders in defeat and turning to her. “I would love all the time in the world to actually sit down and process my life from what I knew to what’s become home in the last 2 weeks, but we don’t have that time. We weren’t fortunate enough to have it.” A sad smile graced her lips as she showed she was coming to accept what her fate was. “And I could stop, but my brain would never shut up if I didn’t do something knowing more innocent people would get hurt. And because of that, I can’t. I can’t stop.”
Wanda understood completely and though she didn’t even need the speech in order to be convinced, she was happy to hear it.
“You’re a stubborn ass, but a good-hearted one, that’s for sure,” she smiled. “Need my help?”
Y/N smiled back at her. She still was getting used to people actually caring for her and each time she was reminded that it was a norm around here, she became a little lighter inside.
“I think I actually got this one,” she said as she looked down at her hands. “But for emotional support, I could really use that,” she looked back at her with a shy grin.
“That I can do,” Wanda nodded, stepping to her spot by Y/N and nodding when looking to Tony who was waiting for the all-clear.
“Opening,” Tony shouted and the door hissed open. “Make it quick, Obi-Wan.”
“That’s never leaving, is it?” Y/N turned to Wanda with a grimace.
“I did one thing and now I’m The Witch, so,” she shrugged and brushed it off then motioned for Y/N to lead.
She took another breath and walked in the same way she did before, hesitantly and then quickly putting on a brave face.
“She’s back,” he hummed.
“Gabriel, we need to talk.”
“Someone found their voice,” he chuckled, but his voice was rasped as he refused to drink any water they gave him.
“Sounds like you’re losing yours,” she retorted, not just meaning physically.
He looked up at her slowly.
“Someone really found their voice,” he chortled as if he was offended by her having something he wanted.
She was in front of him seconds after walking in. Her eyes never left him, and her posture showed she wasn’t going to be easy to break down this time. She didn’t know how she knew how to do this type of intimidation tactic, but it felt natural like a lot of other things that were coming back to her.
“Can we get over the tough guy act and give this a try the less painful way?” she asked.
Nat, Bucky, and Tony were all staring at each other on the other side of the glass trying to see if any of the others had a clue as to what she was hinting to.
From the sounds of their agreement, they were going to talk to Gabriel about this. They didn’t expect her to even consider a torture talk.
“Did she just say-”
“May want to be on stand-by Romanoff,” Tony interrupted.
“She wouldn’t,” Nat brushed off easily, attempting to throw the men off her nerves.
“Do we know that for certain?” Tony turned to the redhead more.
“She wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t start the fight first,” Nat waved them off again, putting her hands in her back pockets.
“You do that when you get nervous,” Bucky pointed at her hands.
Tony gasped. “Oh my God, you totally do,” he said pointing with him, his tone mocking a high school girl’s.
Whether or not he was totally serious no one would know, but either way, Nat and Bucky looked at him with judging eyes, before moving on as if desensitized to his antics.
“You think she’ll do it?” Bucky asked Nat.
“I don’t think she will,” Nat repeated for extra measures.
After the boys finally somewhat believed her enough to stop studying her further, she coughed under her breath.
“Oh, my God!” Bucky let out an angry chuckle and threw his hands up. “How are you one of the best spies in the world and you can’t lie to save your own ass!”
“What?! I’m not lying!” Nat let out a ‘psh’ sound.
Bucky just stared at her with a bitch-face. “Seriously, you couldn’t get any worse.”
“Jesus, then go in there yourself if you’re so worried,” Nat waved her hand in that direction, arms now crossed. “If you want an excuse to save your not-so-damsel in distress, you got it.”
“No,” he backed down real fast. “I mean I trust she won’t do anything. She’s level-headed enough,” he said more so trying to convince himself he knew her enough that that would be accurate.
“Wanda’s on standby anyway, we already talked,” Tony said still watching the interaction between Y/N and Gabriel while they talked.
“What?” Nat and Bucky both asked turning to where he was leaning on the wall by the glass.
“We both agreed she may not have been fully mentally stable to be making this call, so we promised we both clear the worries by just keeping a closer eye on her,” Tony said.
“I mean,” Bucky paused, “That was smart, but why didn’t you let us in on that?”
“You two were going to protect her either way, why did you need the warranty?” he shrugged like it wasn’t that big a deal. “Now shut up we’re missing the showdown. It’s crazy how good she is for someone who didn’t know her name 2 weeks ago.”
Wanda could hear everything being said on the other side of the armored wall and now it was her turn to roll her eyes. Sometimes certain members of this group shouldn’t be left alone in a room together.
“Gabriel, I need you to try and remember something for me,” she tried to give him some form of sympathy, but he was making it really hard with the random curses and stabs at her trauma he threw.
“Oooh! You don’t think I have my memory? Like you?” he cackled. “That’s so sad,” he continued to laugh like a manic, still strapped in a straight jacket. “
Y/N’s face went from empathetic to a scary aggravated face.
“Pet,” he spit the name out with the venom it held. “I remember it all… And yet I still choose to do this.”
His eye contact showed a promise and it was one no one would like.
“Maybe the torture tactic isn’t such a bad idea,” Bucky stood staring sharply at the restrained man sitting comfortably. Only a glass wall was between him and that chair.
“I’ll take a turn myself,” Nat said in a similar stance.
“You two are going to get a lawsuit on my hands. Let her do her thing and we’ll see if we need to step in,” Tony waved them away.
Inside Wanda could see the expression of hurt on her face, turn quickly to obstinacy.
“You’re such a liar,” she laughed, before walking around him to where she was behind his back and he couldn’t move to see her.
A move that freaked him out and she could tell it made him uneasy. Uneasy and challenged men love to try and show how tough they are by usually… Proving a point.
“Why would I lie about that?” he asked, angered by her put down.
“Because why would they send a low-level agent into the field with any knowledge that was important to them? Do you know how easily a place like this could squeeze you completely dry of all your secrets? Seconds, Gabriel. Seconds,” she said in a disappointed grimace. “It’s rule number one in class.”
His face was in a frustrated frown and his cheeks seemed to be burning
“Class? What class teaches that?” Nat asked, and Bucky answered.
“I’m worried what I’m thinking isn’t far from the truth.”
“I’m a higher-up agent now. Higher than we knew existed,” he hissed. “There are things I get access to that others don’t.”
“Cool. I still don’t think you’re telling the truth, but cool,” she shrugged, standing in front of him in a relaxed position knowing she had the upper hand. And that infuriated him.
“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” he said moving in his seat to readjust.
“He’s uncomfortable,” Bucky noticed the movements.
“This isn’t her first rodeo,” Tony said casually, and Bucky and Nat shared a worried look.
“Great. Then we can do this the other way,” she said moving toward him with her hands out.
“Wait!” he stopped her, looking at her hands in fear.
She stopped in her step and gave him a patient look.
“They told me the location of one of their bases,” he said quickly. “I could tell you, but there has to be something in it for me.”
“Nice offer, but I’m going to just get that information either way if we do it my way,” Y/N shrugged and continued on. “I’m sorry by the way 'cause this isn’t going to feel good.”
“Y/N,” Wanda watched closely and took a step. “What are you doing?”
“Just a little mind trick to get him back to normal,” she answered positioning her hands to touch his temples. “It wouldn’t feel great, but it’ll bring him back.”
“You haven’t practiced this before.”
Gabriel was trying to scoot back on the chair, bobbing to get away from her, but making little to no difference in his position and restraints. “Please! Please!”
“I’ve done it too many times to count,” she thought to herself, but Wanda could hear and immediately knew what she meant.
As Stark said, “This wasn’t her first rodeo.”
The next second her thumbs were placed on the center of his forehead and her index fingers touched his temples, and he stopped squirming and sat completely still.
It was like she put him to sleep, but his body was on autopilot. After a few seconds with Y/N looking down, she was wincing at things she could see while she closed her eyes.
“Y/N?” she asked, stepping up more and looking at her carefully.
“Wanda, what’s happening?” they asked in the comms.
“She’s going into his memories, but it’s,” she paused coming about 4 feet away from the interaction not sure what to do, but she tried to look in Gabriel's head and it was… “She’s taken him to some place in space. Mentally at least,” she said. “I don’t know what’s happening though.”
“The hell is going on in there?” Tony questioned before he started marching to the doors.
Bucky and Nat are following out of concern for Y/N.
Once they walked in, Gabriel’s eyes were open and he was looking around lost.
“What the hell happened? Where am I?” he asked frantically, and the look in his eyes was not the same sadistic ones from earlier.
These were scared, yet awakened, eyes.
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Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
~A/N PLEASE READ~: The next chapter will be the last of this series and it is already in the works. So hopefully it’s be out soon in the next day or so. With that being said, I really would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I have some ideas for one-shots and projects following this storyline that I’m hoping to get started once this is wrapped up. It’s been such a fun and different story from my others writing wise and I’ve loved writing it :) Again, let me know your thoughts on this one and any prediction you may have!! XOXOXOXO
Chapter 27:
Bucky’s eyes showed terror at how the situation had reversed. Minutes ago, Y/N surrendered herself and made the sacrifice of losing everything she had gained after her escape, and now it was really gone. Even her right to think for herself and she hadn’t even left the compound.
“Sorry, I’m late,” Wanda walked forward with a limp but straightened her posture as she got closer. “Another one of your batshit crazy friends got the jump on me. That’s taken care of now,” she said in a snarky way as she watched The Siren turn back to aggravated.
“Wanda, are you ok?” Steve asked in the comms and she turned back for a second to give him a head nod in confirmation.
Her attention was quickly back on Y/N. Her eyes turned red as she tried to peak in her head, but it was clouded by what could best describe as a cloud of black smoke. If the Y/N they had grown to love and adore was in there, she was in a dark and hidden space.
“Let’s make a deal,” Wanda shouted toward the dark-haired woman and walked slowly to her. “You let her go, and I let you live?”
The Siren scoffed at her threat.
“You don’t know what you’re asking to go up against,” she remarked.
“On the contrary, I don’t think you know what you’re going up against,” Wanda said back unbothered.
“We may want that shield back now,” Nat said.
The woman didn’t care for her time being wasted by the banter and shouted another command and Y/N began levitating and throwing her energy in balls at Wanda.
Though Wanda had already put up a fight somewhere else and was wearing out, she let the adrenaline rush take over her and help her fight the battle.
“What do we do?” Steve shouted over the explosions happening in front of them.
“We have a few other people to go up against,” Nat nodded her head to the two girls on the ground watching the fight happen before turning their attention to the unprotected trio. “Not sure we can get a jump on them. Stark?” she shouted into the comms.
It took a second, but his voice came through. “A lot worse than I hoped. I’m moving a few more-,” There was a pause as he grunted moving what sounded like support beams. “Million-dollar repairs,” he finished with a deep sigh. “But luckily it’s mainly the building that took a hit. So far we have injured, but no casualties yet!”
They were grateful there was some form of good news in the last few drastic events, but they were wondering how long that statistic would last.
“We can use your help,” Nat spoke back. “Y/N’s been put under some form of mind control and is under their command. Wanda is handling her, but the other two enhanced that are here aren’t going to be a quick fight.”
They heard a mumbled string of cuss words before he caught his breath throwing a hundred-pound form of debris away.
“I’m on my way,” he said into the comms and Nat, Bucky, and Steve were preparing for the fight the two girls coming at them were about to ensue.
“Make it fast,” Nat said in an even tone before rolling her shoulders back. “Boys, take them down if you can. If not, hold them off long enough for Y/N to snap out of it.”
And in the next few minutes, Y/N and Wanda were trying to outmaneuver each other in a magic showdown, and the trio was doing everything in their power to keep the other two distracted and focused on them.
Tony had joined and was later trailed by the young teenager that was flying and attempting to blast him out of the sky. She got a few good hits, but this wasn’t Tony’s first battle in the air.
“Y/N! Snap out of it,” Wanda threw what was supposed to be a rendering hit, but it was quickly deflected and returned by Y/N.
Wanda was trying to knock her down a few pegs while also trying to find a way to get the old version of her to come back through.
“You’re stronger than this! Nothing you’re doing is really you,” she shouted blocking her hits and trying to reason with her. “This is a persona that you think you don’t have control over, but you do!”
That comment seemed to anger this version of her more and her hits became more deadly.
Bucky watched from the ground up as Wanda was having little to no time to expect the next hit and they were being thrown faster and faster.
“Wanda’s running out of energy,” Bucky recognized. He sent another shot at the woman as Steve jumped and blocked a scream from her in front of him. “If Y/N keeps it up, she’ll have her pinned.”
Nat had gotten the right angle to shoot an electric shock and the woman cringed at the pain before going at them again.
“Stark! Where are you? Wanda needs back up,” he shouted into his earpiece and dived onto the ground to avoid the bullet she sent back his way with her voice.
“A little busy!” Tony grunted at what sounded like him hitting the ground. “Little Miss. Children of the corn is a little more than a metal suit can handle. I bring her that way, and Wanda has double the problems.”
He wasn’t wrong. Wanda was on her own and the chances of her coming out on top weren’t looking as good as they normally did.
Wanda had taken a strong hit to the shoulder and was thrown into the ground harshly. One hand went to hold her shoulder in pain and the other went up to deflect a blast Y/N sent after.
She wasn’t relenting and if Wanda didn’t stand up, she would be 6 feet deeper in the ground.
“Wait, wait!” She shouted, hand still up and managing to hold off the lavender energy of Y/N’s power.
She had reared up to throw another, but Wanda’s plead stopped her surprisingly.
“You are the decision maker now. You get to make your next choice,” she said quickly and out of breath. “No one else.”
Y/N seemed confused by the words. As if she had never heard them before, and maybe this version never had. The sentiment marked her face with disarray but was quickly replaced with anger again.
She brought her hands back out and they filled with a darker version of the purple that formulated like mist in her hands and Wanda noticed the constellations and galaxies that danced in them now that she was closer.
Wanda hadn’t had success in getting into her head yet, but the split second of distraction to something the other version of Y/N knew, was like an opening into the black fog that was clouding her mind.
Wanda had successfully snuck in and managed to break her out of her spell, but not before Y/N had already sent a shot making the redhead crumple on the ground even more.
The first thing she saw after the blackout was Wanda noticeably bleeding and groaning as she lay on her side and tried to push up, but couldn’t because of how bruised and beaten she was.
“Oh my God,” she said in a whisper as the scene rendered her speechless. “Oh, my God.”
“It’s ok. I’m ok,” Wanda tried to affirm even if her body language wasn’t selling her point. “You’re ok.” She said the last part as she could finally take a breath since now that her friend was back.
Y/N was frozen in pure shock and when her hands came up to help, she looked at them and realized the destruction they had caused alone. The reality of the situation set in and she held her hands like they weren’t hers and looked to the side.
Bucky, Nat, and Steve were fighting tooth and nail to attempt to take down The Siren who sent a sonic whistle and scream anytime they got close enough to strike her.
At the same time, she noticed two specks in the sky diving and maneuvering around to hit the other.
That quickly came to an abrupt stop as Tony was shot along his back and fell from the sky landing harshly on the ground. He groaned and began to stand back up, but before he could, the powers of the teenager were keeping him from moving an inch from the grass and kept him grounded.
“This is all my fault,” she muttered to herself. “How did this-? I didn’t mean for any of this to-.” She couldn’t finish a sentence without knowing the answers for hell breaking loose came back to her each time.
“Y/N, look at me,” Wanda grimaced as she sat up. “You’re back and we need to stop these people before they-.”
Y/N didn’t hear the rest of her thought, because the chills on her arm made her turn back to the part of the woods that was dark and untouched so far.
“He’s here,” she said cutting off Wanda from the plan she was trying to explain.
“What?” Wanda asked, not knowing what she was getting at. Then she followed where she was looking. “Wait, who?”
Y/N continued to ignore her because any plan she had, was thrown out the window. This changed things. If he was here, it meant that he planned on winning. And if he was still here, then it means he knew he won.
It was like everything went slow-mo around her. The fights happening on the other side of the field were muted, but she saw everything happen in detail.
Steve had been tossed into a tree hitting it hard after throwing his shield to block a shot to Natasha and in it, leaving him vulnerable to a tumble into the giant pine.
Nat had gone to grab the shield and successfully blocked a few hits before being thrown back as well.
Bucky was left standing on his own with a riffle and nothing else to aid him. He didn’t relent and shot at the siren as he ran at her hoping for any way to debilitate her strength, but the teenager waved a hand and he was being held up by an invisible force against one of the trees that was uprooted.
Next thing they knew, everyone fighting the other two was held down by an invisible restraint and kept from making any further moves.
Y/N could sense the ego of the man she had tried so hard to forget. He knew he won and now there was no need to hide.
“Wanda, I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me,” she said softly and Wanda looked at her with a nervous look.
“What do you mean? Why are you saying that?”
With a wave of Y/N’s hand, Wanda succumbed to sleep and fell over completely unconscious in her spot.
She looked around frantically but quickly put on a front to not get caught. She took a deep breath and ground herself as much as she could since her trembling hands and worried eyes would give her away.
Then a deep and joyous chuckle sounded and The Siren seemed excited to see the figure of a man Y/N was still hesitating to look at as he came out of the woods accompanied by his bodyguards and a group of soldiers for extra backup.
“Well, that was quite the show,” he shouted in joy.
Jonas Harrow. An older man with short-styled hair that was grey in color. He wore a nice suit that proved he was cocky in coming here, knowing he never expected it to get a single speck of dirt on it. He held his hands behind his back as he looked at the scene in front of him, and a prideful smirk took over his lips.
Y/N continued to play the role of being under the mind control they cast on her, but the PTSD of this man and all the traumas associated with him caused her heart rate to heighten.
“I gotta be honest though,” he smiled, once he was fully visible and grinning like a child at his three prodigies. “You,” he pointed at Y/N, walking to her in a stalking manner and she stared blankly ahead. “You had me in the first half. For a second, I thought you were actually going to beat her out. I didn’t think you’d still have it in you since you haven’t been in the field in a few years, but the muscle memory was stronger than ever…”
He was still a good 10 feet from her when he stopped walking, but his gaze was strong enough to make her feel like he was breathing down her neck.
“I did as you asked, sir. She’s been-” The Siren began and he raised a hand stopping her in her report without moving his gaze from Y/N.
“I saw it. You don’t need to give me the details,” he seemed annoyed by her. “We will come back to that. For now, I’m focused on her,” he pointed to Y/N moving closer to her again.
Y/N could feel The Siren’s anger from across the field and knew that the obsession that Harrow had for herself rubbed the dark-haired woman the wrong way. It was likely the reason she had gotten an extra hit from her even when she had relented.
“My masterpiece,” he said in a tone that made Y/N’s skin crawl and bones shiver. “Thought you got away from me, but we both knew it wouldn’t last, now did we?” He began circling her with only about 3 feet in between them.
It was taking everything in her not to go into a full panic attack at the sight, let alone the space between him and her. But she knew if she was going to survive this, if she was going to make sure everyone she cared about was safe, she had to stand strong.
He mumbled things about certain elixirs and experiments he had done and how they were perfectly shown in her anatomy and fighting techniques. He was gratifying himself in all the work that his masterpiece had finally come together in.
“You know?” he started and stopped right in front of her face. “I am not happy about the escape portion of this little scenario, but as for a case study, it’s proved things you can’t prove in a lab.”
The whole time she stared straight ahead, avoidant looking at him in the eyes, but also trying to sell that she wasn’t in control at the moment.
He studied her as if testing to see if it was actually true if any part of her was not compliant. It wouldn’t be the first time in his experience.
“Sir, we don’t have much time before their backup arrives and our plan of leaving the premise is comprised,” A guard behind him announced and Harrow rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved his hands finally looking away from Y/N and turning to the shouts and grunts of protest where mainly Bucky was still struggling against the restraints he was put under. “Shut him up,” he commanded the teenager and with one look and a wave of her hand his mouth was covered.
Y/N almost lifted her mask to peer at Bucky and double-check to make sure he was ok, but she focussed on his heart rate and found it heightened but steady.
“I guess it’s time we pack up before we have to continue a fight already won,” Harrow said with a tone of irritation. She could tell he wanted to stick around and push the limits of his luck, but all together knew it was best to leave and get as far from there as possible. “There is one more thing to finish off, but let’s get moving, Pet…”
The name had the effect he meant for it too. It was a test to see if she was really his to manipulate or if the other part of her was still fighting to come back through.
It was close to being the tell she was doing her best to keep in, but she managed to stay unmoved.
He grinned wickedly at the result and motioned for her to follow him as they moved to retreat back from the compound.
The team was still incapacitated on the field and held under the invisible force that the young girl had cast on them. They wouldn’t be given the chance to run and save her one last time, and a piece of Y/N was grateful they couldn’t. If they had been given even a little bit of a chance to lay their life down for her, she knew they would take it.
They were the Avengers for God's sake, and she knew now just what that name signified for the group. It was an interesting name when she first heard it, but they have done nothing but live up to it since.
She realised as The Siren and the teenager followed behind, Harrow had yet to explain what the one more thing he had mentioned was and Y/N was becoming anxious as to why they were leaving so easily.
Things weren’t adding up. Harrow wasn’t one to leave those who dared mess with his plans the opportunity to live.
Once they reached the border of the forest they had snuck in through without being seen, they all stopped and Y/N stopped with them.
Harrow pivoted in his step and straightened his posture in an overconfident manner.
“You know my rule,” he came and moved her hair out of the way as he whispered his next words in her ear. The warm breath falling on her neck made her hold back a cold and painful chill that went through her entire being. “They need to be punished for stealing what’s mine.”
Even when she couldn’t imagine this situation getting worse, yet another shoe dropped.
Her heart plummeted and a shaky breath escaped from the terror that went through her body. She knew from nightmares what he was asking her to do. Things she believed just 24 hours ago she would never have to inflict on another human again.
And now she was being told to do it to the people she loved and cared for most in the world. The people who showed her there was more out there than just the pain and fear that she was reliving now.
She knew she had seconds to react before Harrow caught on and flipped the switch. He knew she may have had more of a kick than he planned for, but he also knew that she wasn’t as strong as she had been in the past. Being out of practice aided him in this situation and he knew it.
The teenager had proved that she would kill if asked and Y/N could already see the command being given if she didn’t do it first.
She would need to think fast if she was going to come up with a solution, but sadly, there was no need. She had come into this fight with an ending she was hoping she wouldn’t have to consider. But she knew deep down it would be her fate no matter today, tomorrow, or a five years from now.
It felt nice to dream for once though. A dream that was turning more attainable with each day that passed and each anxiety was confronted and worked through. But alas, they truly weren’t blessed with the time or chance.
This wasn’t the timeline where she won.
She turned to the group and The Siren had a pleased grin marking her features while the teenager still looked like a lifeless life-size doll.
Y/N’s heart ached for the young girl because she saw herself in her. She was that girl over ten years back. Captured, abused, and used as a hobby for boys to cut and experiment on.
She never knew what having a mind for herself was like and if she did, she knew the remnants were so far lost, they were harder to find than lost treasure at the bottom of the deep sea. They were there, but it wasn’t going to be easy and painless finding them.
She walked with a ridged posture to the tree line and the group followed about 20 feet behind.
She knew Harrow would want to see for himself the chore finished. Some sadistic piece of him cherished moments like this.
She stopped once she was standing perfectly in between the group of Avengers and the group of soldiers behind her. Both of the sides closing in on 15 feet apart from her.
She was still looking at the Avengers and could see fear in their faces. Nat tried to hide it with a face that showed she was ready to accept her fate. Steve was looking around at his friends thinking about them at that moment. Tony was staring blankly and unmoving in his spot not wanting to give any sense of panic in his face. And Bucky…
Bucky’s eyes had grown in size. The pain, the fear, and the breaking of his heart were written so intricately on his face. He was helpless, not because he was restrained, but because he didn’t believe he could help her anymore. She was gone, and Wanda’s motionless body on the other side of the field confirmed that.
And seeing that thought process in his head made her break.
He was the only one to see the break. She was subtle enough that anyone behind her wouldn’t have noticed the change in her features and a part of him gained hope learning she wasn’t under their command. He didn’t know how he knew either because the look wasn’t enough. But it was like she was projecting her feelings of a clear mind onto him. She was proving she wasn’t under any control but her own.
But why did a part of him not believe it? She may have been free of their spell, but she was communicating something else. Something Bucky wasn’t sure he was reading right.
She raised her hands before he could think any further and all of her friends in front of her braced themselves for what was to come. Except for Bucky because he knew what was coming.
She shot the power she had created in the palm of her hands at the teenager when she wasn’t prepared and the hit effectively knocked her out.
Her becoming unconscious made the hold she had on the Nat, Steve, Bucky, and Tony disappear.
All hell broke loose after that.
As the four got back up and tried to shake off the hits they had taken to get to that point, Y/N put a shield around them again, knowing shots would be fired from their enemies.
The dark-haired woman was her next target.
The Siren ran at her and sucked in a deep breath before Y/N’s glare turned deadly and she jerked her hand in a calculated way, making the woman’s sprint come to a sudden stop and she crumpled on the ground in dead weight. Bucky knew the woman wasn’t going to be coming back from that… Ever.
The group of soldiers created a perimeter around their boss and began raining bullets Y/N’s way, but only one bullet managed to graze her arm before she had created a force around herself.
She may have been out of practice in some things, but when you take out the two biggest opponents, the rest was easy.
She moved forward and the shield followed her until the men were grabbing for another round to load their guns with. The few that were still shooting were the first to become airborne and hit the trees around them with a sickening crack. The rest were like picking off flies.
In seconds, Harrow was the only one standing and the rest of his posse were knocked out and down for the count.
She had won, yet Bucky and the rest of the team were stuck behind the force field again without an escape from it.
Once he knew Nat, Steve, and Tony were fine, he found himself against the barrier again like when they first started this fight.
When he shouted in an attempt to make her reconsider the thought he was hoping was a fleeting one, she turned to look at him over her shoulder.
The sad smile she shared with him was one that showed she was at peace with her next decision. A decision that Bucky had never even considered to be an option for her until now…
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Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 4000+
TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.
Chapter 12:
“Tony,” Steve stated. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a meeting in Manhattan today.”
“I did. It finished early. And by early I mean, I left because it was boring. It was an easy fix made more complex than needed,” he smirked in a brazen way. “What about you two?”
“Get to the point, Stark,” Bucky rolled his eyes, his intense stare stance quickly taking over. “Clearly you came down here to figure something out, so what was it?” he crossed his arms.
“Pushy, pushy,” Tony groaned. When neither of the men humored him, he rolled his eyes and stood up, buttoning his suit jacket. “I may have overheard you coming down here to question the convict and wanted to see for myself what you came up with.” Again, neither said anything as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. “So... What did you come up with?” he pushed on with an impatient tone.
“We were asking about her employers,” Bucky spoke up, being vague.
“I got that much,” Tony huffed, sitting on the corner of the metal table before interlacing his fingers. “She mentioned something about other enhanced?”
“Apparently whoever was running the labs Y/N was a part of has an obsession to those with the mutation gene, though that wasn’t anything new to our research,” Steve stepped in.
They had to be careful not to tell him too much as they knew he would become defensive on the spot if there was even a whisper of the possible spying of enhanced beings like Bucky had thought. If Stark thought for a second that his highly secured compound could have been infiltrated, then they were setting themselves, and Y/N, for a whirlwind of changes.
“So what is new to our research?” Tony raised an eyebrow.
“You heard what we heard, didn’t you?” Bucky snarked.
“I did, but I missed some of the questions you asked to begin this little interrogation,” Tony said back with his patience becoming smaller and smaller by the second. “However, my question is… Why are you so worried about the other enhanced?”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at the question and Steve too was confused by it. Why wouldn’t they be?
“Unless,” Tony went on, showing he knew something. “I don’t know. Maybe they’ve found her?”
“What are you getting at Tony?” Steve asked even if he knew what he was hinting at.
“You tell me,” he pushed, giving them one last chance to confess to their true intentions, but neither was budging. “Fine. Friday informed me that you were checking the security camera from last night on the west side of the compound. Why was that?”
“Why do you care?” Bucky said with a blank expression.
“Because I think you found something out that you’re hiding from me. You two not answering my original question having to do with your questioning to our one lead, goes to show you are hiding something.”
Bucky rolled his eyes trying to seem unconcerned with the fact Tony was actually catching onto them.
“Why don’t you do your own snooping and figure it out if you’re so worried about it?” Bucky shot back, turning around and making his way to the exit.
“Because we’re a team, Sergeant Barnes. And the purpose of being a team is to communicate and work with each other,” Tony shouted at his back.
Bucky stopped in his step and turned back to him in his spot.
“You’ve never acted like I was a part of this team before. So why are you so hellbent on it now?” Bucky shot back.
The two stood staring at the other. The tension became more and more unnerving by the second.
Like most the time, Steve was stuck in the middle trying to figure out how to step in and deescalate the situation.
“You guys, come on-,”
“What did you see out there, Barnes?” Tony asked bluntly. “Tell me. Did your whole effort to save this one girl come back to bite you in the ass? Or are you just too hard headed to realize everything I said would happen after bringing that mass weapon back to our home.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” Bucky chuckled in a resentful way. “You’re getting mad at me for looking out for someone who was a victim of torture, experimentation, and God knows what else. Do you really think you’re the one in the right right now?”
Tony stood from the table and took frustrated steps forward.
“I’m trying to protect my family. We knew nothing of her when we took her in,” he pointed to him.
“You act like that’s a valid reason to throw her to the streets,” Bucky laughed once again in a bitter way. “You are something else, Stark. And I don’t mean that as a compliment.”
Before Tony could get another word in, Bucky was already out the door.
He looked to the blonde in the room and saw him pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I know he’s your friend, but please tell me you see some part to my side of the argument,” Tony lowered his head with exhaustion at always being played as the bad guy to the pair.
“Tony, we got into a whole battle over the Sokovia Accords all because of one person,” he raised his head and looked at Tony with a sincere face. “Charles Spencer was one single person that you changed all your views for due to his tragic death and sacrifice. And for that I understand and truthfully, I admire the empathy that pushed you to make the decision. But now Bucky has someone who he can change the trajectory of their unfortunate situation, and you’re getting angry at him for trying to do what you weren’t able to.”
When Tony didn’t answer he went on.
“He has the chance to help someone through something he knows more about than anyone on this earth should. Instead of getting in his way and making him feel like he’s got to go behind your back for the information you need and want, maybe. Just maybe… Give him the space and opportunity to do what you weren’t given the chance to.” He sighed, moving to the exit himself. “And also, when you say he’s part of the team, try and act like an actual teammate if you actually want him to work with you like one.”
And like that, Tony was put in his place.
Was he happy about it? No. It’s Tony Stark. But either way, he had a new perspective on the situation than before.
________________________
“That was a really nice practice, Y/N,” Wanda smiled as they caught their breath.
Nat, Wanda, and Y/N had spent most the morning into early afternoon practicing.
Y/N had a few instances where her powers seemed to flicker, but nothing like when Nat and her sparred. Wanda had tried to help her meditate and find the feeling of her power within, but all Y/N could do was create a little shield of energy.
They were able to come to the fact that whatever the power consisted of was energy based, but they didn’t know what type or what it correlated with.
When Bucky was headed back to his room, he stopped in the kitchen for some coffee. At the bar, Y/N stood adding fruits to a bowl, while Wanda was cutting up the fruits to add and Nat was saying her goodbye as she left.
It was easy to put his frustration with Tony aside after seeing Y/N becoming more at ease in her surroundings by the day.
So he was able to easily mask the argument that happened not even 20 minutes ago.
“What have you two been up to today?” he asked with a smile, opening the fridge.
“We went on a walk,” Wanda answered.
“A little bit of self-defense lessons too,” Y/N added, not giving too much away.
“Yeah?” Bucky was intrigued, still trying to wrap his head around her voluntarily wanting to fight someone. “How’s that going?”
“Really well,” Wanda answered. “She’s a natural.”
“You’re being nice,” Y/N chuckled, plopping a strawberry in her mouth before brushing her hands off. “However, this natural needs to go take a shower. We’re still on for a movie marathon in an hour or so, right?”
“Yes,” Wanda laughed. “I’ll drop by your room then.”
“Sounds like a plan,” she waved, saying her goodbyes and heading to her room.
“Be honest,” Bucky spoke up, stepping to her side and leaning his back on the counter as Wanda kept cutting fruit and adding it to a bowl. “Has the training been triggering or anything for her?”
Wanda hesitated and Bucky noticed, but she quickly answered to try and hide her disposition toward the question.
“She’s doing well, Barnes. I would tell you anything otherwise if it was something for you to worry about,” she answered truthfully. “What about your findings on the walk? Any new leads?”
He picked up on her quick change of subject, but didn’t push.
“Tony’s trying to pry, but I’m not telling him anything unless it’s for sure. I don’t need him getting protective over something we don’t even know if it’s a threat or not.”
“Sounds about right,” she nodded, starting to clean her area. “But nothing gave away what we saw on the cameras?”
He told her about what Ava said and what his thoughts were about it, but it didn’t confirm anything really besides give him more ideas of what could have happened.
While they were discussing their theories, Wanda’s phone dinged. She checked it and she seemed surprised by the text.
“There’s a mission in the city they need me on,” she said out loud.
“What’s it for?”
“Nothing special. But I won’t be back until later tonight. Maybe early morning,” she said as she typed.
“What about that movie marathon you and Y/N planned?” he asked, having just overheard their agreement.
“I’ll let her know we can reschedule,” she said disappointed.
“Wait!” Bucky said a little more abruptly then he meant to. “I mean, I can cover for you.”
“Cover for me?” Wanda chuckled, sending him a smirk.
“Yeah. I mean, I can keep an eye on her for you. Since there could be someone spying on her and I don’t want her to be in danger-”
“If you want to have a movie marathon with her, you don’t have to try and convince me.” When he didn’t respond and she could see the blush creep up his neck, she played along. “If you want to hang out with Y/N to keep her safe since I can’t, I won’t object. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the company.”
“What do you mean by that?” He only asked because Wanda’s tone showed she meant more by that comment than she was leading on.
“Mean by what?” she asked.
“She wouldn’t mind the company,” he rephrased.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she faked confusion.
“I think you do,” Bucky countered.
“Weird, cause I don’t think I do,” she bantered.
Bucky knew he wasn't getting anything out of her and rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the smile that grew on his lips. She was out the door in the next five seconds either way, so it would have been pointless.
____________________________
Giving her about 30 minutes or so to take a shower and get dressed, Bucky spent the time getting a few favorite snacks together for the two to binge watch with.
Peanut M&M’s, kitkats, and sour punch straws were some of her favorites. He had learned from multiple movie nights with the team she tended to go for those main three.
Grabbing some of the fruit Wanda had cut up, and a few waters as well, he made his way to her room.
His knock was soft and almost hesitant as he wasn’t sure if she knew about the switch of company.
But he was quickly relaxed when she opened the door and peeked her head out before smiling.
“Hey,” she smiled, opening it wider now that she knew who it was.
“Hey,” he smiled back unconsciously. She looked down at his hand holding a bag full of things. “Oh, it’s for your movie marathon.”
She quirked her head to the side confused.
“I didn’t realize we had room service,” she teased and he laughed.
“Sorry, I should probably be less vague,” he replied. “Wanda got called on a mission and I volunteered to sit in for her. If that’s ok with you of course,” he added quickly for her to know it was her choice.
“Oh,” she said before moving aside. “That’s fine with me.”
He thought she was just being nice with her wording, but he could tell on her face that she was genuinely ok with it. She opened the door and motioned to the couch where she had already set up the TV to choose what they would watch.
They hadn’t really had the chance to hangout since the night of the museum. He had been so busy trying to figure out who was connected to that night and so on. She had been recuperating and spending time with Wanda and Nat more the last few days.
Besides being here to make sure she was safe in her own room, he was happy to have an excuse to spend some time with her.
“Do you need a blanket or anything?” she asked, grabbing one for herself across the room from the blanket ladder.
“I’m good,” he waved off. “Thanks though.”
She nodded in return before grabbing her own and sitting on the couch alongside him. As she grabbed the remote and started clicking through a few things, he watched her.
He had been wondering if she was adjusting after the attack and if it had caused a setback in her sense of security in their home.
So without any warning, he blurted out his question and seemed a touch too eager to know the answer to.
“How have you been?”
She was a little surprised by the nerves he had in his question, as if it was a sensitive subject, but more so when he looked embarrassed to have shouted it out.
“I’m doing ok,” she answered. “How are you doing?”
He wasn’t ready for her to shoot the question back to him. The entire time of their friendship, she’s been the one to be checked on. Not him.
“I’m ok,” he said with a small smirk at her concern. “I was wondering since the other night…” he paused, gaging to see if the subject was sensitive. He saw her adjust in her spot, but it didn’t look like she was uncomfortable. Though he could tell that the night he was talking about, hadn't left her mind yet. “You don’t have to-”
“It’s fine,” she cut him off. “It sucked. It wasn’t the way I had hoped to remember the night considering what we were there for, but…” She took a deep breath. “It’s proven to not be all bad.” Her new found knowledge of what she was capable of somehow gave that night a helpful purpose.
However, Bucky didn’t know about these new findings and wasn’t sure what she meant by that. Before he could ask her what she meant, she countered back with her own question.
“I wasn’t the only one attacked that night though,” she said looking at him sympathetically. “Are you sure you’re doing ok?”
He looked at her deeply and a warmth flooded his heart.
Two weeks ago, she barely talked and knew close to nothing about herself or those that had taken her in. Now she was sitting comfortably across from him and playing the role that many of his close friends played by being an ear to listen.
He shouldn’t be shocked by it as he knew she always had a gentle and kind nature since day one. Even with her traumas that would send most into a mental prison and easily make them fall into a senile attitude towards life.
But here she was, worried about others.
She had a sense of humor and sass when she was comfortable with her company. She was curious and not afraid to look for answers. She was intelligent and quick on her feet. She still had moments where she was quiet, careful, and preferred to be in the comforts of a controlled space, but that’s to be expected.
Bucky had come to the realization that the girl in front of him had moved forward in her healing a lot faster and gracefully than he expected.
There had been bumps and trials, but she had come out stronger each time.
And here she was, asking him if he was ok.
“Bucky?” she looked at him, lowering her head some to see his eyes better.
“Sorry,” he came back from his mental thoughts.
“You sure you’re ok?” she asked again.
He smiled and nodded. “I’m doing ok. Besides, I’ve been in worse situation, so I’m more worried about you from that night.”
She didn’t respond to that and when he looked back at her, he saw sorrow in her eyes. He realized in his truth, he also gave away that someone coming and kidnapping the person he was supposed to be looking out for, on top of having to put up a fight to save her, there had been times even more intense and worse than that night.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t know.”
He looked at her a little surprised. In all of her hyper-focused internet searching and research about anything and everything she found interesting, had she never looked up his story? He had figured that by now she had found it or been told it by someone and was just being nice to not bring it up.
But she clearly didn’t realize the long and grim story that was his own.
“Do you know anything about how I got here, Y/N?” he asked in a curious manner.
She slowly shook her head side to side.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the internet, it’s that it’s not to trust everything it says. So I haven’t looked up any of you guy’s history there,” she explained. “I’d rather hear it from the person themselves.”
He was dazed at that. He wasn’t sure why, but maybe it was because almost everyone on the streets and in the world seemed to want to pry into the Avenger’s, and everyone connected to them, lives. Yet, she had an excuse compared to the invasive society they were asked to protect. And she didn’t take it.
“What about Nat and Wanda?” he wondered out loud. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with them. I’m sure you did some research-”
“I’ve asked them questions about their lives and know some of their stories now, but they were the ones who decided when to tell me,” she replied.
He had always appreciated that she never brought up his arm or acted like it made him any different from those around him. Now he knew it wasn’t because she had gone and found out the backstory originally and didn’t say anything about it, but it was because she wanted to hear the story from him. Not some fan blog or anti-fan’s hate post or case file.
Him.
“Just to be clear, that doesn’t mean you have to tell me now if you’re not comfortable yet,” she was quick to say when she saw the gears turning in his head. “I’m just sorry to hear that you’ve had more extreme nights than the one the other night…”
“I hate to say it, but I’m not the only one on this team who’s had worse nights,” he replied somberly. “I think it comes with the job description. All of us have been through something horrid that we don’t want to look back on.”
She knew his honesty was true as she knew Nat and Wanda’s past. And if theirs were similar to any of the others like he was saying, then Y/N could only imagine.
“But look at who you’ve become,” she smiled at him with hope. “If I come out the other end anything like you all, I’d be proud.”
He shared her smile at that. No words were exchanged for the next few seconds as they looked at each other with caring and doting grins.
When they realized that the energy had shifted some, they looked away and Bucky cleared his throat while Y/N moved the blanket around her lap, and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“So what movies were you planning on watching with Wanda?” Bucky asked, sitting with more weight into the arm of the couch.
“Um, she said we were going to do a 70’s movie theme, but had mentioned something about Grease,” she said the last word like a question, not sure if she was saying it right.
“Not bad, but how about a comedy instead?” Bucky offered.
“Is it from the 70’s?” she asked.
“Yes,” he smiled, taking the remote from the coffee table. “And it’s a classic. So Wanda will be happy about it.”
She laughed before grabbing some of the snacks and getting comfortable.
About 50 minutes into Young Frankenstein, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and Bucky took the opportunity to check the balcony screen door to get a view of where his sighting was last night in the daytime.
The bushes and trees that he had mentally marked happened to have a pretty good size opening compared to the neighboring foliage. A piece of him wondered if that was the mystery anomaly’s doing or if it just happened to be perfectly positioned by chance.
He took note of the birdhouse and an idea came to his mind for extra security. Maybe Sam’s crappy woodwork would actually serve a purpose.
He heard the sink turn off and Y/N opened the door to see Bucky already back in his seat as if he had never left.
“Ok, you can hit play,” she gave him the go ahead as she rubbed lotion into her hands.
Bucky went to hit play and right before hitting the button, his nose caught onto the scent. He turned his head to her and raised an eyebrow.
“Is that lavender?” he asked.
She turned to him, not picking up on his strange sudden interest.
She looked at her hands as she rubbed the last bit of moisturizer up her wrists some when she realized what he was talking about.
“Oh, yeah. Wanda got me some as a gift since the smell helps calm me down,” she answered. Then she thought out loud as she adjusted in her seat. “It’s strange though, it was a brand new bottle and I haven’t even had it for 2 weeks and it’s almost gone.”
“Huh…” he said softly and his heart was racing at the connections he was making. “That is strange.” He no longer was relaxed.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Maybe I started using more of it. It’s been a nice smell to help me relax, so I’ll have to have her get me another sometime soon.”
Bucky didn’t even hear what she was saying as he was staring blankly at the balcony door to the bathroom.
She saw the remote in the couch seat between them and took it, hitting play without noticing Bucky’s demeanor change.
And on the outside, it really wasn’t telling. He was good at hiding his anxiety and thoughts to most. And this was something that he didn’t want Y/N learning about yet. Or maybe ever learn about.
Someone had to have access into her room. And all the clues were pointing to whoever was outside those walls had been peeking inside as well.
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