The Angels helping you after your first broken heart
Warnings : Angst
You used to think you were incapable of romantic feelings, that was, until you met him. He flipped your world around, made you feel things you didn’t even know were possible, and then, he dropped you as if you were nothing to him. It hurt more than any physical wound ever had.
You spent your nights in tears and your days trying to figure out what you did wrong. You were a mess, to say the least.
“(Y/n), you need to get outside.” Castiel held you in his lap, letting you rest your head on his chest. “The Winchesters are starting to pray to me in hopes that I’ll bring you back to them. I know you’re hurt-”
“Cas, please.” You almost sobbed. He noticed the tears in your voice and squeezed you a little tighter.
“Okay.” He whispered, resting his chin on your head. “I’ve got you..”
-
“There we go.” Gabriel hummed his contentment, turning you towards the mirror so you could admire his work. Your hair was curled, beautifully framing your face.
“Wow, Gabe.” You allowed yourself to smile at your reflection. You hadn’t done your hair or makeup since he left you, so the change took you off guard. “Thank you..”
“No, thank you for being my canvas.” The angel tugged on one of your curls and then let go, watching it bounce back in place. “You’re gorgeous, ya know that?” You shook your head, smiling a bit. It could have been mistaken for nervousness, but nothing ever got passed Gabriel. “I’m serious, (Y/n). Listen, I, um.. Well, I know that you’ve been questioning yourself lately. You don’t feel beautiful anymore and I hate that because when I look at you, I see absolute perfection. You truly are the finest thing my father ever created.” Your heart felt like a balloon by the end of Gabriel’s declaration. You didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t speak. You threw your arms around him and hugged him so tight that you felt him struggle for air. “C'mon, babe, women can only handle me in small doses. Don’t over do it.”
-
Balthazar had a different method of mending a broken heart and you couldn’t really say that you were disappointed.
“Alright, doll, drink up.” He handed you a small glass of amber liquid and you drank without hesitation. “Slowly.” Balthazar scolded with a grin.
“Shut up.” You waved him off, setting the empty glass on the table as the room began spinning. “Woah..” You swayed in your seat, falling over on the angel’s shoulder.
“Told you so.” He sighed, sipping on the liquor. “Nothing eases the human body like alcohol and sex.”
“One down.” You rolled over so that you could lay your head in his lap and look up at him. “How about the latter?” You winked.
“Oh, you would suggest that when you’re vulnerable and I have to say no, you little minx.” Balthazar groaned. “Another time.” He kissed your head and settled for running his fingers through your hair.
-
“I’ll kill him.” Lucifer promised. You shook your head, grinning at the fuming angel.
“Want to?” You joked, but you knew your jokes would fuel him. “Wanna be my accomplice?”
“Darling, I’ll do the job myself.” You knew he was serious. The devil would do anything for you as long as you said please.
“I don’t need him dead.” You sighed and watched his face fall with disappointment. “I want him to live a long life, knowing he lost the best thing that has ever happened to him. He’ll suffer.” You watched Lucifer’s mouth slowly turn into a sinister smirk.
“You really are malicious.” He purred, moving closer to you.
Characters: Reader, Bella, Reader’s parents, Dean (For now)
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Summary: AU, Reader is part of a wealthy and extremely dysfunctional family and even though her life appears glamorous she hates it. Until she meets Dean who is everything she wants in life. First person POV
Warnings: Talks of death, violence and bad language.
A/N: Depending on the response of this first this while become a mini series. This is something that I cooked up in the time I was taking a break from my assignments. Let me know if you like it or not and i’ll keep updating. This is not edited whatsoever so excuse any mistakes I will edit later. Thank you for reading and I hope y’all enjoy!!
I was listening to this when I wrote this
My name’s Y/N Y/L/N. I have been nick named by my friends and sometimes by my mom. But, to my father it has always been Y/N- formal and clinical ever since I can remember.
In the sixth grade we had gotten an assignment in History, we had to find out the significance of our name and why it had been chosen for us. I decided to ask my father in efforts to get closer to him. When I did query with him, first his eyes glazed over and then he got irritated and yelled at me to get out of his study because he was busy with important work. I, then went seeking for my mom, who was sitting in the parlor sipping on some Chamomile tea in her dainty, way too expensive china tea cup. My mother had this softness about her when she smiled or spoke to me but simmering under her surface if brushed the wrong way was a sting more lethal than venom. I asked her about my name and suddenly her face fell, then she quickly forced a smile and tucked my hair behind my ears. She simply said they had adored the name and it was only fitting for a beautiful girl to have a beautiful name.
At eleven that explanation sufficed, I got an A for that assignment after some of my own general research and that was that, until the year I had turned sixteen. I had learned the truth, the real truth behind it all. I was in my father’s study when I stumbled over a box with intricate designs engraved into the wood filled to the brim with photos of a gorgeous woman that had hair as dark as raven feathers, letters written on paper that was browning with age and other little nick knacks. This woman, I had discovered, was the love of my father’s life. They were going to elope the day my father had been told he was going to be married to my mother for the sake of the blue blood families. And, being the good son that he was, he had agreed to his father’s wishes with no objections. He had told no one about his secret and had lived in silence for a long time until I was born two years after my sister. That’s when the news came, the news of her death. He has the clippings from a dozens of articles in the box. She had ended her life, she was filled with too much grief at the thought of having lost my father to another woman. I guess that’s when he lost his mind and spilled the beans to my mother, that’s why he named me after her and that’s the reason he wasn’t the same man he once was. I had already knew my family was dysfunctional but after that revelation I knew we were utterly broken,
We might haven been broken, but we pretended all the time. Especially at the parties my mother would throw. My father would hold my mother around the waist for the first time in months and she would laugh like she hadn’t been crying the night before. I hated the parties, it was all fake people with faker bodies- it was all the hype but no substance. The girls that were my age were more vapid than their mothers and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to run away and start a new life but how far could a twenty year old actually get? They’d find me within a day or two, haul me back home and slap me on the wrist for not behaving like a ‘Lady’ of the Y/L/N household should.
My future is already laid out in front of me with a neat little bow in the white manila envelope that it’s enclosed in and I just have to accept it whether I agree or not. I’m premed at Stanford, my father’s choice of school because tradition is the utmost important. I already know that I’ll just be a trophy, despite my stellar credentials, attached to a rich man’s arm of my family’s choosing for the rest of my life- throwing parties and popping out and heir or two.
Any girl would kill for what I have, I have heard that all my life, but I don’t want it. I know what goes on behind close doors, the back biting, the affairs, the abuse. I just want normal, a family that would kill for each other and not kill each other and actually have the chance to choose the man I love not because someone says he fits the family perfectly.
“You’re pregnant!?” My father’s voice booms and my mother flinches.
My sister is sobbing and clutching at her stomach as she gets whipped by my father’s wrath. I gulp, shaking as the scene unfolds in front of me. I had known and my mother has known but it’s clear that my father found out by the red mark blossoming on my mother’s cheek.
“Father-” the word is barely out of Bella’s mouth before my father yells again.
“OUUUUUUT!” He stabs a finger at the exit, “Get out of my house, you are no daughter of mine. Now Bella.” he twists her around and shoves her to the door.
My mother is balling her eyes out in silence, too afraid to speak out against my father and that’s when I’ve had it. For the first time in my life I get the courage to speak my mind, I reach out and tug at my father’s shoulder causing him to stumble back.
“You send Bell away you won’t just be losing one daughter, you’d be losing two.” I said calmly and collected, “You have no respect for us as women or as people and honest to God I’m tired of it. So what, Bell’s pregnant, mom’s your slave and your first love is dead and I’m named after her. Guess what, nothing goes according to your stupid little plan so suck it the fuck up and grow some balls because alcohol isn’t gonna do it for you. You have all the money in world and yet it still can’t buy you a heart.”
And that’s when his palm connected with my cheek. The sound slicing through the air like when thunder cracks through the sky. No one expected that, Bell and my mom looked with massive eyes and I stood there clutching my cheek and tears rolling down my face.
Then, I ran, I ran down the stairs out onto the pavement and just kept running. I didn’t care anymore, I just wanted to get out and leave it all behind because my father was a tyrant and there was no way to escape him.
My tears had clouded my vision as I pushed passed the people until I crashed into someone solid. My head jerk back, the air in my lungs shoved out with the impact and I was on the ground. The sunlight momentarily blinding me as I tried to regain my senses. I shrugged the warm large hands that were helping me up away and stood up, inspecting the bruise on my elbow.
“Can you not see where you are going?” I spat, still not looking at the stranger.
“I could ask you the same thing.” the deep raspy voice causing my eyes to dart up.
Sassy, I thought and then I met a pair of sparkling green eyes and my mind went blank. I just stared at the stranger, the sting of my injury forgotten as my sight raked over him. His green eyes were the perfect complement for his sun-kissed freckled skin, his straight nose, angled jaw and pink pouty lips.
“Can I help you with that?” he queried, pulling me out of my mind.
“What makes you think you can help me?” I scolded and rolled my eyes
“With that.” he points to my elbow and smiles and it’s breathtaking,
“Oh.” my face softens but I still ask with a bit to my words, “What makes you such an expert?”
He actually scoffed, like he’s amused by me, “I’m not expert Sweetheart, but I’ve watched enough Dr. Sexy M.D to know how to use a first aid kit.”
I actually giggled at that, and shook my head at him. Now, I was teasing, “So I should just trust a stranger who watches Dr. Sexy MD?”
He smirks, catching on, “I’m Dean.”
“Y/N.”
“See, now we aren’t strangers anymore.” he grins at me and I feel like I’m gonna faint and I had nearly forgotten about the mess at home. “I can do one better though, dinner at 8, Friday evening?” He questioned taking your hand in his.
“So this is how you pick up girls? Stand in the pavement, crash into them and ask them out?” I teased, holding onto his warm hand as he tugged me into the diner.
“Well, just the pretty ones.” he winked, pulling me towards the kitchen.
He left me to stand at the sink, whilst he greeted and kissed a beautiful blond haired woman on the cheek and went to fetch the first aid kit.
My phone rang, startling me, followed by my mom’s panicked voice, thick with tears, “Bella’s gone. She’s gone. She left a note but all her stuff’s here. Where could she go? She’s pregnant Y/N. She must be so scared.”
“I’m on my way Mom. I’ll find her.”
I wanted to tell Dean I hoped to see him again, to say goodbye, to say anything. But as always, my family came first and I bolted out the diner and down the street to find my pregnant sister before anything worse happened.
“We need him, whether you guys like it or not.” You stood in front of the demon, your hands on the blades you kept in your pockets, ready to pull them at any second. The Winchester’s exchanged surprised glances at your behavior. “You kill him, I kill you. Got it?” You looked between the two, waiting for an answer other than their shocked facial expressions.
“What has gotten into you?” Dean growled, taking a step towards you. You pulled out one of the blades and rested it against your thigh, a subtle threat.
“I’m doing my job without letting my emotions get the best of me. You should try it sometime.” You snapped. Dean’s jaw clenched, obviously more than annoyed with you. This was out of character for you. You always showed Sam and Dean the upmost respect, but something about the man behind you caused a shift within. You knew you had to protect him.
“Then you deal with him.” Dean pointed a finger at you, something a father would do to his daughter, and then turned to leave, Sam following behind. Sam looked over his shoulder at you, concern in his eyes. You sighed, giving him the smallest of smiles to reassure him. Once the Winchester’s were gone, you turned to face the cause of the situation.
“That was quite the show, Poppet.” Crowley smirked. “Seeing you get so defensive over little old me gets me bothered in all of the right ways.”
“Shut up.” You snapped, running a hand through your hair and pulling up a chair so that you could sit across from him. “I just need you to tell me about the deals going on in this town. There’s too many and we don’t know how to stop them all.”
“You don’t. They’re deals, (Y/n). Once those morons lock lips with one of my demons, that’s that.” He shook his head at you. “Why don’t we talk about something else, yeah? How about the way you can’t stand to see me tortured and beaten? Or the way you’re constantly trying to justify the evil things I do?”
“Don’t try and turn this into some twisted romance. I’m here to save those peop-”
“Romance? I didn’t say anything about romance, Kitten.” Crowley raised his brows, feigning innocence.
“I don’t care what you said.” You threw your hands to your side, starting to get aggravated.
“How about you tell me why you haven’t pulled a knife on me for pissing you off when you were so quick to threaten Moose and Squirrel. They’re like family to you and you were ready to kill them to protect a demon.” He was getting inside your head. You stood up from your seat, turning away from him. You considered pulling out your other blade, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Why couldn’t you do it? You shook your head, annoyed with yourself. “You know, I’ve done the same thing.” You turned back to him, confused.
“What are you talking about?” You almost snapped.
“Have you never found it off that none of my demons have ever come after you?” He asked. Honestly, you never really thought about it, but now that he’s mentioned it, you can’t remember a demon ever attacking you specifically. “That’s because when the thought even crosses their mind, I take their head off their shoulders.” Crowley’s eyes were following your every move. “Because I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt.”
“Why are you telling me this?” You blinked, more confused than ever. “Listen, I just want to know how to stop-”
“No, you listen.” Crowley interrupted. “You’ve been dancing around this for far too long and I know damn well if I’m not the one to say this, you never will. We care for each other, (Y/n). We protect each other, we go out of our way to make sure only good things come to one another. What does that look like to you?”
“Are you trying to say that you’re in love with me, Crowley?” You walked towards him.
“Well, when you say it like that..” Crowley raised his brows and looked to the floor. “Yes, I guess that is what I’m trying to say.”
“What are you up to?” The comforting voice of your older sister asked from the other end of the telephone. You twirled the wire that connected the phone to the wall around your finger as you smiled.
“Not a lot. I’ve just been working with the boys mostly, you know.” This bar wasn’t as noisy as most and you were grateful for that. It had been a few weeks since you last got to hear your sisters voice. There was an unmistakable cry in the background of the call and you felt your heart swell. “Is that my niece?” You breathed out, smiling bigger than ever as tears came to your eyes.
“Sure is.” She said to you. “She’s growing up so fast. I can hardly believe it..”
“Tell me about it.” You muttered. “It kills me being away for this long. I’ll come see you guys soon, okay? I’ll come see everyone.”
“You’ve been saying that for so long, (Y/n)…” You could hear the disappointment in her voice. “Dad isn’t himself without you. You know how he worries. Not knowing where you are or what you’re out there doing is taking a toll on the man.”
“I know, I know..”
Dean noticed you shifting from one foot to the next and decided to check in.
“Hey, (Y/n), you good?” He leaned against the wall beside you, pool stick in hand.
“Why can’t you just tell us what you’re doing? Is this because you never rebelled as a teenager?” Your sister was starting to speak faster and you knew she was upset. You looked to Dean, nodding a bit to his question as you answered your sister’s.
“No. It’s just easier if I keep this part of my life separate from you guys, you have to understand.” You sighed.
“This part of your life?” She scoffed. “You’re keeping your whole life from us, not just part of it. You’re missing everything. You’ve only held your niece twice. Do you think she’s even going to know who you are by the next time you visit? What about years from now?” You started to cry as your sister went on. You knew she was right with everything she said.
“Woah, woah, hey there.” Dean panicked at the sight of you in tears, wrapping his arm around you.
“I’ll call you soon, okay, sis?” You sniffed. “I love you so much. Give everyone hugs for me.” You hung up before she could respond, turning to burry yourself into Dean’s arms. “I’m so sorry.” You cried.
“Don’t apologize to me, kid.” Dean rubbed your back. “You’re okay.”
“Sometimes I wish I never got into the hunting life.” Your head rested on his chest and you watched all of the bar goers laughing and having a good time. “I miss them.” More tears fell as you thought of your family.
“I know you do. Listen, how about you and I take a trip to your hometown?” Dean pulled you at arms length so he could see your face. “You could see your family, your friends. I’d love to meet them all too.”
“You’d really do that for me?” You let out a breath. “You’d put up with my sisters questions about whether or not we’re an item, my dads terrible jokes, and my moms questionable cooking?” You smiled a bit, wiping away your tears.
“Sounds like a date to me.” Dean smirked pulling you back into him. “We’ll leave tomorrow and get you back home for a few days. Promise.”
Love was.. complicated. You’d never had good luck when it came to love. Hell, you didn’t even think about love anymore. That was, until Castiel came into your life. He was a literal angel, but to you, he was just Cas. Beautiful, sensitive, perfect Cas.
“(Y/n),” Cas sat down on the couch beside you, watching you read your book. “I have a question.”
“I may have an answer.” You glanced up to see his brows furrowed and eyes curiously raking over your face.
“What is love to you?” Well, that is a rather tough question. You put your book down and looked up at the ceiling.
“Hm.” You hummed. You’d never really thought about what love meant to you. You knew it was supposed to be important. You knew you felt it, but could you explain it? “Love is.. innocent.” You tried. “It makes your heart swell, your mind feel fuzzy, and your stomach feel like there are a million butterflies dancing inside.” You imagined the first time you ever met Castiel. “Love is something you never see coming, something you thought you knew, but turns out, it was just waiting for you. I guess love is just a chance to be truly happy.” You looked back at Cas and saw the interest on his face. “Sorry, I guess I rambled a bit, didn’t I?” You smiled, pulling your book back up.
“(Y/n), are you happy?” He asked.
“Your questions today are very deep.” You laughed a bit. “Um, I think so. I’m happy when I’m with you. I’m happy when I’m with Sam and Dean. You guys make me happy."
"How come you don’t categorize me with the Winchester’s?” Cas was stating to pry. He was looking for something specific here and that made you uneasy.
“Are you feeling okay, Cas?"
"I- Yes. I’m just curious about you; about us.” He shifted next to you.
“What about us?” You closed your book at this.
“You said love is innocent. Neither of us are innocent beings, does that mean we cannot find love?"
"Love is innocent in itself. Does that make sense? Two people who have done terrible things can find each other and still share something innocent.” You explained. It was surprisingly easy to explain what love is. Years ago, you would have just said you didn’t know, but now, you think you have a clear idea. “Do you think you love someone, Cas?"
He nodded his head, looking down at his clasped hands.
"And you want to tell them?"
"Very much.” Castiel’s cheeks were growing pinker by the second. Your curiosity was getting the better of you.
“What’s stopping you?” You inched closer.
“She.. I don’t know if she loves me too.” He shook his head, glancing over at you with worried eyes. “It would be an honor to be loved by someone as celestial as she.” He watched the way your eyes trailed over his face and he saw it then. Maybe you could love him. “Someone as radiant as you..” His eyes found yours and he couldn’t miss the spark within them and then, your lips were on his.
Having him and then loosing him hurt worse than never having him at all. You were in love and he just didn’t care, simple as that. He hurt you, cheated on you. He was the very scum of the earth for all that he did, yet you were the one in tears, wishing things would have gone differently. A part of you wished he wouldn’t have left, but you knew it was for the best. It would just take time for your heart to catch up with your head.
“(Y/n)?” Sam was at your bedroom door. He’d been checking in on you every so often, worried sick. It drove him crazy to see you like this. You were so strong, so brave, and an incompetent pig was able to bring you to your knees. “Can I come in?” Hopefully, his hand fell on the doorknob. You wiped the sleep from your eyes before making an ‘mhm’ sound, and then Sam was there. You noticed Dean right behind him and you nodded a bit, letting him know it was okay to join.
“So do you want anything to eat? I can go grab some burgers? Hell, I’ll run to the store and get all of the stuff I need to make your favorite meal, how does that sound?” Dean sat beside you, leaning back against the headboard. You didn’t feel like eating, but you knew you had to at some point. Sleeping all day and all night wasn’t going to help you.
“That sounds good.” You tried to smile at him. Dean wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving you a quick hug before heading out the door. You looked up at Sam as he fiddled with his thumbed, thinking of what to say to you. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess, I just-”
“Don’t apologize. (Y/n), I have something to say and if I don’t say it now, I don’t think I ever will.” Sam seemed almost conflicted. That worried you, but you nodded for him to continue. “You’re amazing. You’re everything beautiful the world has to offer in one body. You’re the sunset and the stars, the thunder and the ocean. You can be soft and compassionate or a storm no one would dare waver into. You can make me laugh until I can’t breathe. You bring out new sides to people. (Y/n), you’re the best thing to ever happen to Dean and I. We love you, and when I say that, I don’t just mean we care for you, I mean we would do anything for you. We would set the world on fire for you. You’re everything to us.” Sam was spilling his heart out and you could see all of the emotions on his face. He really meant every single word and that had you in tears. “He couldn’t see those things in you. He had a chance at heaven on earth and he took advantage of your heart. I know it hurts. I know you don’t feel like it now, but someone like you deserves someone so, so special.” You were in his arms before he could even finish, holding onto him tightly.
“I love you, Sam.” You mumbled into his shirt, tears streaming down your cheeks. He’d just told you everything you needed to hear and you were so grateful.
Summary: I suck at these. Sorry. Reader is recalling her relationship with Dean before some crap goes down. First person POV.
A/N: And, I’m back. This is going to Part 1 of 2 parts. And credit to @writing-prompt-s for the prompt that I used as the first paragraph. The moment I saw it, I got inspired. And, this is also for @curliesallovertheplace‘ celebration challenge. My prompt was, “What if…wishes his/her life was different.” Thank you for bearing with me, and for reading. I hope you all enjoy and leave me feedback pretty please because it really helps! Have a lovely day/night.
They say humans naturally fear death, well there are many things we should fear more. I know that first hand. It’s not the monsters that I fight or all the crazy things going on in my head that I fear the most.
Love should be feared.
It’s the most lethal weapon of war.
I didn’t know any of that until I met him. One look at me with his green eyes and I was gone. I was falling faster than I could think. I didn’t even consider if he was gonna be there to catch me when the ground started to get too close. I just wanted him and to be apart of his world.
He was this mix, this mix of something so heady that I couldn’t help but feel confused and absolutely mesmerized. I used to think the whole bad boy/good girl love story was a pile of horse shit until my life started feeling like a goddamn movie.
He made me feel things I had never felt before, he had been the first man to know me inside and out. At the time, I didn’t think about the future, I just thought about the present and how I felt when I was enclosed tightly in his arms. And for the first time since I turned 18,I actually felt like a woman.
He made me feel alive, like my life had more meaning than the small town that I was living in. I would have went anywhere with him. To hell if he asked. But he would never ask that of me. He was always too much of gentlemen to do anything that would cause me even the slightest discomfort.
After all of that, the deep kisses, the long car rides to nowhere and the bearing of our souls, he was gone. Just gone. He was going to get his brother, that’s what his note had said anyway. And he left his ring, the one he always wore on his right hand. The only thing I really had to remember him by. I didn’t even have a photo of him, he existed only in my heart. No one ever knew how much he had changed my life, he gave me hope for the future, he made me want more in life. I wanted a life with him. A future with him.
I waited for him. Days turned in to weeks, weeks into months and then years but he never came.
Then, the black eyes came for me. They slaughtered my family and all I could do was run. I ran and I’m still running.
Loving someone and then losing them is the most painful thing in world. No other physical pain can compare because unlike physical pain, there isn’t any medicine to heal heartbreak.
-present day-
The witch cackled, her magic digging into mind and stealing glances at my private thoughts. I didn’t even have a chance to do anything. It was over too soon. She had already taken her shot and plunged her dagger into my gut.
A huge breath got sucked in my throat as i saw the red spread all over the front of my white shirt. The pain was white hot and then nothing. I saw his older, wiser green eyes widen as he ran to me. A howl leaving his lips as my knees buckled and I collapsed into his arms.
He kept murmuring and shaking his head in disbelief, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.
I managed a weak smile, wanting the last thing I see to be him.
“Why?”
“Love means sacrifice, Dean.” I croaked, wincing as i lifted a hand to cup his cheek, “this is my sacrifice so you can save the world the way you saved me.”
I never feared death but now i did because of what I was leaving behind.
