#realhumanshit

[irlactualhuman]

Pratchett was onto something with the Small Gods.

Gods of the minutiae of experience and function. Gods and goddesses of the patter of rain but specifically a gentle rain as it strikes a hollowed and petrified log lost to time and separated from humanity by a vast gulf of distance.

A goddess of the moment you realize that thing you shoulda said to Tom when they razzed you about your new hat five hours ago.

A god that governs the transition of soft mud to dry, cracked clay.

A goddess whose domain is precisely the first budding of a transitioning girl's nipples and a god who is in charge of solely nurturing a trans man's very first serious patch of facial hair.

Numerous psychopomps that escort the souls of wayward bugs that became trapped in your porch light fixture.

And one for that specific and precise feeling of disgust as you notice for the first time your friend that you love dearly is a mouth-slightly-open chewer.

[irlactualhuman]

So one of my players looks at me. Like. Second session I ever played with them. Just narrows his lil eyes and stares me down and ejaculates, "Why do you talk like that?"

For context: I generally speak with actual words from my mouth exactly the way I type words to make posts on tumblr. If we've known each other for any length of time, you may already understand a bit of why he asked me this. Evidently, I speak in a way that is easily understood, most of the time, but approaches sentence structure the way English countrysides approach roads- in a winding and roundabout fashion.

I didn't say anything witty, but I did say, "Because words are beautiful and I love them. Why don't you [talk like this]?"

Anyway, he had a crush on me. And I think the point of the story is to talk like you're in the process of making deep, sensual, tantric love to the language in which you're communicating. 😎

[irlactualhuman]

You will find someone. Maybe a couple someones. Maybe many. They are out there. Those people in your community. I swear.

We might not all be right there with you. But we are somewhere. We might not share meals or space but goddamn we are trying.

It's lonely out here. Far afield of the cities where it's rumored that queer folk gather en masse for simple things like watching movies or just to hang out and drink cuz it's Tuesday night and there's nothing better to do.

God I wish that were my default option. I wish that's what bored and lonely looked like to me. I know a lot of you do too. Right now it doesn't, but fuck maybe someday it will.

Sounds like some sort of promised land. Some sort of fable to be told around a campfire grown cold with the yearning of the night; on stumps irregular and haphazardly assembled from deadfall; after a meal too cold and a day's walk too long.

Perhaps it will be. Perhaps it won't be. We are here, regardless, and trying our best. I have hope. I am working toward it. Community. We can make it happen together, and until then, I'm here. As much as I can be.

Community starts with that. Being there. In the capacity you can be. Doesn't matter how much or how little, as long as you try.

[irlactualhuman]

I just scrolled past and ignored fully five discrete posts and didn't engage in discourse meant purely to divide and ostracize members of the queer community

And you can too! 😁

[irlactualhuman]

Yes. Yes. I know. You want me to sit on your face and my tits are straight fire and blah blah blah

but what joy is there to be had?

[irlactualhuman]

Hi. I'm Lea. (Lē - ah)

@irlactualvo is where I'm storing my voice acting portfolio and other cool posts I've voiced. I make weird noises with my mouth, and sometimes they're really good. My ko-fi is linked in the pinned post there.

@irlaesthetichuman is a blog I run for posting pretty things and stuff that makes me shiver with delight. It is nsfw.

Consider most or all of my stuff nsfw, now that I mention it. I sometimes write erotica, wax philosophical or thirsty about sex, and generally speak as if my audience were made up of people that share my interests. I often talk about these things in an adult way utilizing adult themes.

If you have requests, send me an ask! I'll record some silly or serious audio for you or help you write things.

If you have larger projects with which you'd like my help (or for which you'd like to hire me) send me a dm!

If you just wanna talk or be friends, either of those things are also open to you and i encourage it! I feel love when I interact with you and I hope I can inspire you to feel the same.

All the tags I use for stuff are on this post and are self explanatory.

[irlactualhuman]

Proposal for new enby casual address: Chal

My body craves the ability to say stuff like "dude" or "Girl, please" or even sometimes "bruh".

I often find myself limiting my enthusiasm as my desire to address and validate one's identity is far more important. I feel as though this may be, not a compromise, but a massive step forward for casual language and vernacular to adopt this simple adjustment.

It's fun and easy to say and replaces many older words seamlessly.

"Chal, please."

"What's up, chal?"

"My chal, you gotta see this shit."

Try it out! Feels good on the tongue.

As an enby myself, I crave this sort of casual intimacy with my person that I never knew I would lack. I didn't realize the inefficiencies of language.

Consider adopting this vernacular. I will be your chal for life.

[irlactualhuman]

Oh this blog is a platform? For me?

No. This is my expansive living room to which you've been invited. There's comfy floor pillows and soft, jazzy lofi and snacks and maybe some kissing and the room is bright and sunny cuz of the tall windows and also nice and cool because of the gentle breeze coming from the open doors at opposite ends of the house.

Also I love you. I hope that isn't too forward.