(About to get a little tl;dr here, fair warning) Visiting Olvera St was very important to me on this visit, for a few reasons. One of them being that I had not been back since I was a very young child with my family, when I was probably too young to appreciate it really, & the second being that for me, it was a first real step for me to connect with a part of myself I haven’t been able to for many years. I am part Latina on my father’s side, which has been extremely difficult to embrace due to years of mental + emotional abuse from him. I’d mostly locked that part of myself outside, largely due to that + not having any other cultural influences / touchstones other than him in my life. This isn’t a magickally happy ending story, not one where I suddenly reconnect with my father, happily forgive him, & embrace my heritage after long fireside talks, mind you - forgiveness is difficult for me, & I choose not to see him because of how difficult & abusive he still is. It’s my choice & my path, no one else’s. What HAS changed are the people + influences in my life. I find myself surrounded by amazing Latinx / Chicanx artists, both locally & online - strong personalities full of love, life, acceptance, & also dealing with issues I can relate to, on many levels, ones I never learnt how to deal with or even understood that I was experiencing as a child. I’m taking steps to learn about what is indeed a part of me, what I feel like I am coming to finally embrace after a lifetime of being unwilling / unable to do so. No one’s perfect & I will always have a long way to go, & there will always be mistakes to be made. But the effort & intent, & the personal meaning are more important than those fears or anxieties. Again, my choices & my paths to take. 💖 . . . . . . . . #reallydeepthoughts #olverastreet #losangeles (at Olvera Street Plaza) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpt_I8LADoy/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1maas96vz0tcp
