#recovery talk

[mindeaterbrainsucker]

got to see my highschool friends for the first time in a few years today, my heart feels so warm. healing feels so good 🥹 give yourself grace & kindness

[ptsdsafe]

So anyways, all PTSD headcanons from traumatized people are valid regardless of evidence or lackthereof! 💖

[aspio]

Recovery Update: Week one!

finished my first week of treatment! i reintegrated easily bc i knew what to expect and the counselors knew me already. unlike last time tho i didn’t feel like it was a punishment and i’ve been approaching everything with an open mind. i already know how dbt and cbt work but i like relearning everything again bc obv i stopped using it.

i met with my case manager yesterday and she said i’ve def been doing good. she said i def don’t need to stay the whole 6 months bc i already have a goal and i know what i want out of treatment.

SO!! so far so good! i’ll do another update at the end of week two for those who’d like that.

[dollycoffee]

Post op: I’m okay!

Sorry, I forgot to post this! I just went to my post op today, turns out everything is okay. The pain was normal, and they said that I should definitely take my heavy duty knocker-outers when it gets that bad. Ugh. Ew. I don’t like the effects those have on me, but I don’t like the pain, either xDD  I’m recovering really well though, which is awesome. But still no figure skating for a good while.  Hope you all are having a nice week! 

[cursedwithcaution]

hmmm maybe i should stop blaming myself for the defense mechanisms i used as a child and instead acknowledge that the environment i was raised in led to me using those coping mechanisms to protect myself from legitimate harm. perhaps.

[tired-aliensoul]

Hiii. I'd like to just write a few words about HW's and all that if I may.

(Feel free to delete/not reply if you find this triggering)

I was panicking so long about losing weight and staying below my HW until some shit really went down in my life and I had to put everything- even my mental illnesses- on the back burner.

One day I had checked my weight, knowing I gained, I just wanted to 'see the damage'. I didn't know I had passed my HW. When I realized I was above my HW it was a wave of 'oh shit' and then I calmed down a bit. I expected my reaction to be way worse.

It was kind of like ripping off a bandaid for me. I dreaded it, I knew it was going to hurt, I wanted to beg and plead to not let it happen, but when it finally came to pass... It wasn't that bad.

It's what jumpstarted my recovery. I still have the anxiety and anxious thoughts about losing weight, calories, portions- that will never truly go away.

But now I'm focusing more on accepting me for how I am, not the me that's unachievable.

Anyway; your post about your HW reminded me of that. I hope you have a good day, and remember!

There are lots of people who love you for just the way you are. :)

❤️🫶🏼 thank you for sharing and for the words of encouragement!! I’ve had my ED since childhood, so it’s just always been there (over twenty years, it’s just a few years younger than me 😂) I still won’t say I’m in active recovery just because I am not doing the therapy and am not actively trying to gain, it’s just the byproduct of the security I feel with those around me. Eventually I’ll make it to therapy, I’ve been on a whacky schedule that has left me most unmotivated to do anything, but that’s getting fixed in a couple weeks so shall see what it brings about!

I appreciate you taking the time to express how you came to recovery, it’s not always an easy thing to achieve. I hope you have a good day!! You’re a wonderful human!!

[capetowncapers]

I think maybe my younger self would be amazed that my current self tries to recognize when I’m not eating enough because of executive function or appetite issues… and tries to find ways to gently prod myself on those days. If I ever check calories now, it’s usually to make sure I’m getting enough nutrients and remind myself to eat more, rather than trying to eat less. Maybe my teenage self wouldn’t get it but I do think that she’d be a little in awe of a future me who lets herself have bad days but who also lets herself eat and be happy and does her best to love the body we have. Idk man. There’s still plenty of shit to unlearn but I think that’s pretty cool.