#redtail-lol

[sex-favorable-aces]

Extra special shoutout to sex favorable aces who have never felt and will never feel attraction to their partner(s).

Extra special shoutout to sex favorable aces who fall on the "no" part of "little to no sexual attraction" who feel forgotten about when people say "asexuality doesn't mean no sex, it's a spectrum! [immediately brings up demisexuals and gray aces and never mentions us.]" Attraction is not the only valid motivation for asexuals to have sex. And also shoutout gray aces and demisexuals who have sexual partners they are not attracted to!

Extra special shoutout to aromantic sex favorable aces who are tired of hearing that people do it "for their partner" or for romantic reasons, without bringing up that it's not the only reason. Extra special shoutout to aromantic sex favorable aces who are doubly treated as manipulative or "using" their sex partners. Extra special shoutout to aromantic sex favorable aces who feel like an afterthought.

Extra special shoutout to asensual and anaesthetic sex favorable aces who genuinely feel nothing at all towards their partners' physical appearances.

Extra special aplatonic, aqueerplatonic, analterous, and all other atertiary sex favorable aces.

[fixing-bad-posts]

[Image description: A tweet, edited erasure-poetry style to read, "IMO, 'erasure poetry' is poetry / destroy someone / else's writing- / and then call the leftover words a new 'poem' / Fight me."]

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"erasure poetry" is poetry

Submitted by @redtail-lol

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

Multiphobia is the time someone was making fun of the concept of genderfluid people not identifying as trans, and as a multigender person who identifies as isogender and cisgender instead of transgender (for lived experience reasons they feel more correct don't argue with me about definitions idgaf) I not overly politely explained that some nonbinary and multigender people, including genderfluid people, don't identify as trans, their identities should be respected, and was overtly clear about how I was bigender, a cis girl AND NONBINARY/APORAGENDER, like you could not miss this shit, and got hit with the reply of like "uhm so you as a cisgender girl think you can come on My (nonbinary) post and call ME stupid for saying trans people are trans? #cis ppl shut up challenge" like ok so suddenly because I disagree with you I'm only the one of my genders that makes me look like an outsider.

Ykw I'm just gonna post the screenshots

Yeah it was over a year ago idc I still get mad about ts sometimes.

This is multigenderphobia.

Mod reply

Gosh that sucks. Like that whole argument coming from another non binary person is just, cant we please listen to each other on our experiences???

Also the blatant erasure of your gender to prop oneself up as "actual non binary legitimately speaking on non binary issues vs cis person getting in the way with no knowledge" is absolutely awful. What the hell.

Nuance is literally lost here. Yes as a whole, multigender is a subset of the umbrella non binary, which is a subset of the umbrella trans; but you cant look at just that, you need to understand why that is. Why is non binary under the trans umbrella? Because we are part of the community and of its history. Because we have been here fighting alongside others to be respected as our genders.

Yes, no one being assigned multigender is used as an argument for legitimizing our position in trans spaces from people who dont think non binary is "trans enough" but what it doesnt mean is that everyone should ignore their unique experiences to define themselves as trans. Our community and label are part of the trans community, but single individuals choose their labels for themselves. Yes we need to fight for our place in the community because all too often exorsexists try to kick us out, but that doesn't mean our experiences and labels can't differ.

Also, the argument of genderfluid and multigender people being necessarily trans, once again feels like ignoring the fact that those labels arent a substitute for non binary, but containers that include other labels, fluctuating or not. To treat us as multigender but not our individual genders is to multigenderphobia. To treat us as only part of our gender is multigenderphobia.

[otherhearted-culture-is]

Otherhearted cathearted autistic culture is slow blinking at people when you like them to show that you're happy and comfortable because you learned cat body language and not human body language

💛

[askaceattorney]

Dear Redtail-lol,

Polly obviously!

Athena keeps running away and making me run laps around town.

- Trucy Wright

[varsex-pride]

hi can u tell me what varsex means I've never heard the term before and I can only gather so much context clues from ur posts to have a vague idea

found u bc u reblogged my infracis post. thanks btw

We coined varsex as a more ample term alternative to parsex. This blog was called parsex-pride and there we coined varsex.

We never explained it too much, here's the coining post. It's an umbrella term for people who are intersex, transsex, altersex, not infrasex, not cissex, not protosex, not dyadic/not perisex/not endosex, and beyond.

There was already a phrase term for it: sex variant (with synonyms: sex nonconformist, sex nonconforming). Variant is a concept that was amplified by @/variant-archive.

It also alludes to variations, which is a replacement for "conditions" (which alludes to disorders), as a way of depathologizing language (nothing wrong with considering your own variation a disorder or a condition, it's an opt-in label).

Parsex, in the other hand, was too restricted to altersex and/or intersex. Though varsex is basically the same, it can be used beyond these two experiences (eg. enbysex, sexqueer, perintersex, condisex) or as a blanket term as well.

Sorry if I confused your term, because maybe I thought it meant infrasex + cis*, or another ample form of infra-. tell us if you want us to delete it.

The term is used outside this blog:

Varsex

Varsex

Varsex is an umbrella term that covers all sex variations that aren't conformant to the societal and cultural ideals or roles of sex (or sex

Users may have helped expanding it to other areas. I noticed some terms like varsexgender or this wiki page make it seem like a synonym of altersex, and I also noticed some intersex people used varsex as a term of self-discovery before realizing they are confident in their intersex identity. So it's useful for quoisex and extersex/inter-questioning people I guess. Though we are not involved in the coining of variayr, somatic varsex experiences can exist, but it should be noted intersex traits can't be achieved through somatization.

[limeylizard]

can I pls have the isowoman flag I can't find it :( I want I need I just found out I'm isogender/isocis for multigender reasons

!!!! YES OF COURSE HERE i got it from here (via google images)

[sex-favorable-aces]

I hate when WE get blamed for people using "aces can still have sex" to invalidate sex averse ace people or their representation because it's not even us doing it. It's allosexuals who heard us, stopped listening because the part about us not feeling attraction makes them uncomfortable, and decided to use us as an excuse without bothering to care.

The only version of asexuality that is palatable to them is the one they can ignore. Because fundamentally even if they will use sex favorable aces and acespecs that aren't strictly asexual as excuses, they will never engage with our asexuality. Obviously for the sex averse aces, they don't like the idea of non-sexual people at all, and that's a problem. Allos should engage with that. It would also be nice if they would engage with sexuality that doesn't include attraction on one end. Or really try to capture the experience of acespecs who feel little/conditional attraction. Instead of feeling like they can just slap the label on and use us as an excuse to say they're not disrespecting asexuality while making no attempt to engage with it.

And when that happens, I'd like sex averse aces to stop treating us like we're privileged for having parts of our orientation cherrypicked and erased by people who would rather use us as a gotcha than actually acknowledge us

Exactly. I also think there's a very real problem with allos (and tbh basically anyone who isn't a sex favorable aspec) not REALLY understanding how sex favorable asexuality works. Which, fair, it *is* confusing if you don't experience it, but that doesn't mean taking your half-baked understanding and running with it loudly is the correct move. Whether out of ignorance or malice, it's still misrepresenting us and causing harm.

I feel like too many people want all sexualities to be easily understable bite sized bits. "Lesbian" means "woman who likes women", "gay" means "man who likes men", "bisexual" means "person who likes both", and "asexual" means "likes no one". And it's just never that black and white. So when they're smacked with reality, they scramble for the next easiest explanation instead of either learning the complexities or accepting that they don't understand it and moving on.

But yeah, I'm really tired of our only options being "be forgotten entirely", "be a misrepresented gotcha", or "be demonized for being used as a misrepresented gotcha". Like, when do we get to just live??

I swear, these days we're expected to either be uwu sex repulsed innocent beans or straight but with a spicy rainbow sticker half falling off, and anything else just shorts out people's brains.

And hell forbit we get angry about it, or we'll get called aphobic and worse just for wanting to be treated with the same respect and nuanced complexity that other orientations get/that we deserve.