#multigenderphobia

[tboygirl-discourser]

Some people think 'Transfem' and 'Transmasc' are defined by what someone is transitioning away from and not what they're transitioning towards and I think that says a lot about how they see the trans community and gender identity as a whole.

Same thing about people trying to define Lesbian/sapphic as being non men x non men.

Why are we trying to define ourselves based off of what we aren't instead of what we are? Isn't that backwards? Ultimately it comes off as an exorsexist attempt to ward off anyone with a complex/non-binary gender identity, especially multigender and intersex folk.

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

One of my pet peeves is when posts go like "boys, girls and theys". I cant fully articulate why, but it feels so weird in a bad way. Like I get it, you're being funny because you dont know what to call people who arent strictly girls or boys but like.... We got words for that. Enby, enbies, enban, enben,,, we're people.

You're not being inclusive by saying "theys", it feels dehumanizing. Also not all non binary people use they/them pronouns. I really feel like I'm begging here to be treated and talked about as a person and not a funny concept.

Doubly peeved about "they/thems, she/theys, he/theys" because it's just like, okay, pronouns have nothing to do with indicating someone is non binary or not, but even if, why are you calling other people "they/thems". We're literally right here. We are gonna see your post, we're not that rare, and I really cant explain the feeling it gives me better than just dehumanizing. Like Im not a person, not a human being, Im just some sort of joke, because this always comes off to me as a mockery since a lot of exorsexist people use it. (Even if there are therians/otherkin people who are non binary, or in general people who are okay with being dehumanized, it is certainly not something you should do when talking about an entire group of people. So even if someone you know is personally fine with it, it's not an okay thing to do beyond that one person)

[rouge-the-bat]

"lesbianism excludes ALL men. lesbians can never be or like men." is inherently shitty towards multigender lesbians. if you support multigender people, stop acting like men and women are mutually exclusive immutable categories! stop trying to dictate how we can label our attractions! stop ignoring our existence every fucking time when it comes to orientations! our genders dont exist in vacuums!

[this-is-anti-masculinity]

people going "i hate CIS men" like trans and other modality men are exempt and somehow special

This is anti-masculinity and androqueerphobia.

First of all, it's degendering towards non-cis men to act as though cis men are different from them. You're othering non-cis men, and being gender essentialist by implying that cisness makes someone evil.

Second of all, cis man =/= non-TGD (trans & gender diverse). A man can be intersex & cis, cistrans (due to being intersex, multigender, cisgender transsex, plural, etc), cis non-binary [link], cis genderqueer, cis detrans, etc, etc, etc.

[thisisexorsexism]

Pinterest only lets you add 2 sets of pronouns

this is exorsexism and multiphobia

@this-is-multigenderphobia

[this-is-transmisandry]

we sent this to the anti-endo transandrophobia blog but i wanna send it here um.

people thinking you can't be both nonbinary a man. people thinking you can't be both cis and trans. We had the first happen to us years ago, in a certain server we now have ptsd from (/srs), because multiple people told us we couldn't be both nonbinary and a trans man. like damn, bigender doesn't mean someone identifies as both male and female, though that does happen to some beings. (general you) it means you identify as two genders. that can be male and nonbinary, female and neutrois, any combination of two genders really.

-mephone/kasper

this is transandrophobia & i think also exorsexism & multigenderphobia aswell

[androqueer-struggles]

The way our dad responds to my perfered end transition goal. I wanna start by saying, overall, he's accepting, and I love him. He's completely fine with me getting top surgery, and overall he has a "youre an adult, do what you would like aditude."

That being said, Im pangender. My perfered gender transition is where I am a mix of stereotypically "masc" traits and "fem" traits. I was someone expected to estrogenize, and as far as I know, Im perisex.

Whenever I joke or talk about my transition goals, specifically when mentioning my desire for facial hair, my dad has a very noticeable reaction. He usually says "no!", or cringes. Sometimes saying "not now!" Or "I wont say anything about it". Anytime I ask, what's wrong he responds "I just cant see you with facial hair" or "why would you want that?".

When I mention it's weird that you only have issue with me having facial hair, my (as far as I know) perisex cis brother will mention he used to have a problem with him having facial hair.

Im tried to get him to think about this by asking "you dont see me as your son do you?" To which he responded "no, I cant help but see you as my daughter." Its not like that daughter is gone, I am still a woman and his daughter, I just wish he'd see his son in me too.

Im sure that he'll eventually work through this, and I dont expect perfection from him. It just hurts each time this happens. It feels like sometimes he doesn't like the person I truly am. Like I cant talk or joke about transition goals around him.

On a positive note, my mom reacted the same way the first time this happened, and has since not reacted that way.

Also, thank you for creating these spaces to vent. I wanna thank all the work you do in these multiple communities.

This is transandrophobia.

You are his son and you are his daughter, and he should learn to respect you as both. I am sorry that you are dealing with such responses from him. You don't deserve to be misgendered/degendered, and to have your masculinity erased or discouraged.

[spoon-the-raccoon]

Can we PLEASE stop saying "[x form of oppression] is just misdirected transmisogyny"? I get it, others are affected by transmisogyny but it's not just that. It's more than that.

Other queer groups are targeted, too. They are targeted directly and overtly and saying that it's just misdirected transmisogyny erases that. It erases the genuine hatred bigots have for non-binary folk, genderqueer folk, intersex folk and other marginalized groups. Claiming that exorsexism or intersexism is misdirected transmisogyny is a narrative that centers trans women in the oppression of others.

Transmisogyny is hard, it is serious, it is often misdirected at others but just claiming that is all there is erases the oppression others face.