#redwall headcanons

[thegoldensoundtwice]

*bursts into Redwall fandom* BUT NO GUYS THINK ABOUT IT WHAT IF REDWALL HAD PEACOCKS IN IT CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AMAZING THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN????? LIKE????? The female peacocks would totally be chill but the males would be as cocky as shit and pissing off every other male off because the peacock would be this cocky bastard flirting and giving his feathers away to all the pretty female creatures and for some reason it would just irk the guys???         Like imagine a young bachelor Skipper getting super cranky and pissy at said peacock for flirting with the otter maid he’s in love with and just downing spicier and spicier hot root soup until he was legit sobbing and everyone being like “Are you crying? You okay there, Skipper?” “I AM FINE, IT’S JUST SUPER HOT AND SPICY, PASS ME ANOTHER.” “You should just tell Ferra how you feel.” “I SAID I’M FINE. WHY IS SHE MAKING THE FEATHERS INTO EARRINGS. IT MAKES NO SENSE.”  “...You’re so damn awkward at love, Skipper. It’s clearly nothing.”  “I KNOW THAT.” *slurps down more soup* “PASS ME ANOTHER.”  “Your throat is bleeding.” “I KNOOW.”           Or a hare getting all bent out of shape, pacing back and forth as a flirty haremaiden and male peacock dance around a bonfire? “Hmph! I say, jolly bad form, wiggling her ears at such a creature as him, eh wot??” “...Are you jealous, sah? Seriously?” “Me??? A fine, bounding hare, jealous of a bird bag? HUMPH! The very idea! HA! How dare you, you...you...pickle stuck pinecone! Eh wot!!” “...I’m a hedgehog.” “You fiend! You rapscallion, for even sug---did she just...she blinkin’ did! Did you SEE that?? She bally well winked at him! The hussy! The nerve!”  *hedgehog is fed up with this shit* “Well young hare, I heard that those eyes on the feathers can hypnotize--” “Yessah, I’ve heard the very thing meself! Yas, that explains this whole inexcusable pagan event! She would NEVER flirt with a feather bag when she has me around. Right ho, thassit. I need to go save th’ poor gel.” *angrily stomps off towards hare maiden and peacock*  *Hedgehog takes a nice long sip of his October Ale* “Oh, this will be rich.” *gets comfortable to enjoy the show*

[thegoldensoundtwice]

Constance #6

Oh, you lil’ stinker ;)

Okay: I headcanon that Constance is actually not that much of a hugger unless they’re a dibbun/little kids, or if you’re SUPER close to her. And she is the one who has to start/give the hug. She’s got things to do, villains to smack, Abbey to usually save, kids to raise. It’s not that she isn’t loving or has emotions, its just that she isn’t prone to physical display of affections unless she actually deems it appropriate. But when she does, she will like either squeeze you to death or if its a child, she will be the upmost gentle with the them, rocking them back and forth and stroking their heads and humming to them. 

[thegoldensoundtwice]

I’m trying to imagine if they had coffee in Redwall, because I don’t recall it ever being mentioned, but it would be so great. Great in that so many hyperactive little mice running around! Like if Friar Hugo had coffee his little heart would nearly burst from all the energy. Or what if the days Constance didn’t have any coffee that morning and everyone was avoiding her because she was just one inch away from locking everyone into the bell tower? 

OMG BETTER YET. Trying to deal with shrews while sipping coffee: 

Matthias sighed heavily as he watched the shrews puffing out their chests at each other, preparing for another argument. Rubbing the fur between his temples, he tried to clear away the headache that had been gathering behind his eyes for the past hour due to these silly spats between shrews. Thank Martin for coffee, he thought as he took a sniff of the heavenly hazelnut aroma before taking a sip. Personally he liked Cornflower’s sweet vanilla latte’s instead, but in a pinch, anything would do right now. 

[thegoldensoundtwice]

Redwall Ghost Headcanon:

Rose gets to do a few visitations; as does Gnoff. 

but seriously though can you imagine Gnoff coming and teasing the fuck out of some random abbey beasts? or what if Rose had come to visit some of the abbey beasts? like what if Rose had visited Cornflower? C’mon Brian, why not??

[thegoldensoundtwice]

Redwall headcanon

But no seriously: What if there was a young, peaceful Abbot who fell in love with a tough and rough young maiden warrior and he had to chose between his beloved Redwall or his new found love? 

And it would be all super angsty because he wants to protect Redwall and be the Father Abbot to all the creatures but he also is in love for the first time in his life and doesn’t know how to emotions and keeps picking flowers from the garden and picking off the petals to help him decide his fate, “Stay? Go?” and the bench he’s sitting at is covered in inches of petals and his abbey beasts are just like “bruh, just go after her already, holy acorns”.

[the-redwaller]

Headcanon for Timballisto

We know that he and Martin didn't get along when they lived on the north coast together. Martin was resentful that Luke, his father, left Tim in charge, and Tim was too overbearing on him. But think of how Tim must have felt when Luke left the entire tribe on his shoulders, including Martin, the chief's only son. Big responsibility. How must it have been when Martin  disappeared? Tim must have felt like such a failure. I imagine that being reunited with Martin in Mossflower was like a shining second chance for Tim. They became friends again, ready to move on from the past. Imagine how crushed Tim must have been to find Martin after the battle, torn apart and minutes from death. I think he must've had terrible flashbacks, a dreadful sense of deja-vu. He'd failed all over again. Even with all Martin's accomplishments, in that moment all Tim could picture was the rebellious little kid he'd sworn to protect and then lost. But this time it was the real thing. The end. No going back. The memory of Luke charging him with the guidance of the tribe (all gone now) and the protection of his boy must have been running through Tim' head in that moment. Imagine the guilt. I can't. I really, really can't.