Discover Top Posts Tagged with #reflection piece

fem·i·nin·i·ty

/ˌfeməˈninədē/

noun

the quality of being female; womanliness.

Recently I’ve been thinking more about what it means to be a woman, reflecting on my own femininity. It’s been an ongoing process, encouraged by the significant events that have so quickly occurred in my life. Having graduated from college, losing my grandmother, moving to New York and marrying my partner of seven years. Each ceremonious affair has brought about waves of emotions and uncertainties, one being who I am as a woman and how I’ve grown as a feminist. There is so much I have to sort through. These past few months have created a stream of consciousness that I have yet to decipher. I want to take it one step at a time.

First Step: Just a Haircut

Moving to New York amidst the sweltering heat and humidity I’m beginning a new life. As many women in the past and present have, I decided to cut most of my hair off. During my young adult life I would describe myself as a full-figured tomboy with dreams of androgyny. It wasn’t until my recent past that I accepted my round feminine figure and features, even letting my hair grow long. Though I was more accepting of myself physically I didn’t feel as though I embodied the woman I wanted to be. Was it that I wanted to go back to my roots feeling less traditionally feminine? Why did I desire this ideal? There are a lot of explanations from the broad spectrum of society’s pressures and ideas to my own personal tastes, but cutting off my hair was a quick response. It was different and it felt right. What has surprised me the most (one of the many reasons why I even started this reflection) is that I feel like the woman I’ve wanted to be, but she isn’t exactly how I had always imagined her. No I am not androgynous, nor do I feel any less feminine in the traditional sense, but I feel as though every detail of my physical being has blossomed as though I lifted that shroud of embarrassment I’ve held since an early age. I’m thriving and proud of who I am and who I’m becoming. Cutting the hair off my head but allowing all the other natural hair to grow has me feeling more sensual and womanly than ever before. It may have been just a haircut, but it was a big step for me.

coricorinne

HELLO YES IT IS I

Last weekend, I took the pleasure of volunteering as a mentor for UNIHACK Mini— a hackathon for first-time hackathoners. Just like the UNIHACK I competed in last year, it was an event filled to the brim with startup culture, programming, and solid advice from industry leaders.

I learnt so much while mentoring as much others learnt from me. So I decided to note down my disorganised thoughts and publish them for you to learn from as well. (And yes, that’s a photo of me taken by the great Tom Solari, as I write this very post).

On Tech Hackathons

First things first: tech hackathons are unlike anything else. When you walk into a room of programmers and developers, you immediately get a glimpse of the future. Majority of the time spent in tech hackathons are dedicated to building the best prototype you can make— and allocating any less defeats the purpose of the event.

I’ve seen a lot of teams spend hours planning out their ideas— some even took an entire day. To really maximise a hackathon, you have to bring ideas with you at the start, and get your team to high-gear in development as soon as you walk in. Also: bring a laptop if you can. Don’t waste time installing and copying over your development environment to a new computer.

On Ideas

Execution is everything. At the beginning of the event, every team pitched an idea that sounded well-rounded and promising. But towards the end, I noticed in some teams that while their prototypes did include their grand idea, it wasn’t as polished nor presented as they had hoped.

I think this lesson can be generalised to startups and new companies turning ideas into products. The value of an idea doesn’t come from the idea itself, but its potential. In other words, the output is more valuable than the input. Problems aren’t fully solved unless the solution is at least elegant.

On Learning

Everyone’s a first-timer at some point. The great thing about UNIHACK Mini is that a lot of the people who signed up for it were either amateur programmers or first-time software developers. This is awesome because it shows there are a lot of students who believe they have the potential to make something great. But on the day, there were some who put that pressure on themselves way too much.

Just because you can’t do X right now doesn’t mean you can never do it. I suppose, if you’re surrounded by people who are better than you, you can feel alienated by your lack of talent/knowledge/skill. But here’s the thing: in a room full of people more adept than you, you basically have all the resources to make yourself as good as— if not, better than— them. Your brain is a sponge— use it like a sponge. Don’t feel discouraged by your lack of skill. Instead, use those feelings to motivate yourself and learn.

Hackathons are the best places to experiment with what you know and what you don’t know. Even as a non-competitor, I got a chance to play around with my skills in mentoring and teaching. But as it turns out, everyone’s a learner, and I walked out of UNIHACK Mini with more wisdom than I started with.

#Disorganised thoughts #writing #reflection piece #UNIHACK Mini #Photo

Poem: Starting Over

This poem arose from my thoughts on leaving Michigan, and the close of several friendships in conjunction with living there. These are the visual and emotional connections I made while considering what it meant to really and truly start over.

I hope you enjoy this piece

~Sierra

Starting Over

I. My tired eyes see nothing but the gray of the horizon Cool, the same colorless hue as an empty glass Waiting for something to be poured in A vacant, empty vessel - That is how I feel In need of something more shapely Than the dullness of overlapping days

II. The glass of the small patio door feels cold against my face Outside, it is streaked with the ash-silver Of drain drops, carving tracks across the glass; It was scratched some time before I came to live here I see the vague suggestion of my face, and a dimly Expectant expression; This faulty mirror shows me only my own stagnant position

III. I've walked away from so many things Places I have lived, and streets that I have walked I can still smell the steel in the air of that place A place that might have taken on the name of 'home' If conditions had been favorable I have left behind the faces of friends, the faces of lovers Goodbye has the same taste in my mouth As lake-water

IV. My regrets, memories, trickle back to me They come in one by one, like the crisp leaves on my patio It begins with one, yellowed, insignificant That time I called her a 'bitch', I'd had a little too much Then the brown one, the color of the Gentleman's bottle The kiss of her black hair branded me like an iron I never should have taken her in my arms The red one makes me think of sunsets in the cornfields Long drives to places where our books came from

V. I am not that person anymore My reflection looks back at me, and doubts my conviction 'I am not that person anymore, and glad of it' I think the time for forgiveness has come Even if she doesn't want to give it to me Sleepy blue eyes will forever be a painful reminder Of misplaced trust, of chances taken Identities that I have had to let go; Starting over is what makes it hardest

#starting over #poetry #fall #leaves #reflection piece #writing #creative writing #emotions #impressions

On arguments--and how to win them

I have plenty of experience with arguments. Maybe it has something to do with obsessing over Mock Trial. More likely it has something to do with being a sister. Whatever the reason, arguments are something I enjoy. There is something pure about feeling my face heat up until it’s emitting UV radiation from frustration. I’m also competitive by nature, so it’s just *fun* to pick apart and demolish people’s arguments if I can. I'm also obscenely happy whenever I win a case in the courtroom. But the real world doesn’t work like a courtroom, and often arguing is about the worst thing you can do when you differ in opinion with someone. Not everyone will believe you're right just because you have the best evidence. Nor will they agree with you because you argue well and critique their beliefs flawlessly. In fact, if you do that they'll often just think you're an ass and their opinions won't change one iota. Debate is about the most ineffective way of resolving disagreements in the real world--remember the Creationism debate between Ken Ham and Bill Nye? It dragged on and on, yet only confirmed the beliefs the attendees already had. Laying down a line of social retreat is one of the most important things you can do if you're trying to change someone's mind on a topic. (Read Less Wrong's "How Not To Lose an Argument"). This means you have to allow someone to be wrong without having lost, without being stupid, and without being a bad person. When people don't have a line of social retreat, opposition to their viewpoint will cause them to cling harder to their beliefs. They will reject what you say out of hand, it's just human nature. So what is a line of social retreat? Less Wrong used Sun Tzu's The Art of War to illustrate this idea. One of Tzu's strategies for winning a fight was to allow the enemy to retreat. He saw that without an escape route,the enemy would fight with more fervor, causing more damage to his own armies. Yet, eliminating lines of retreat for his own army encouraged his warriors to fight more effectively. Let’s look at some examples. My Seminary class examined how Nephite believers purportedly behaved around the time of Christ’s birth. Samuel the Lamanite had promised them five or six years earlier that there would be a sign when Christ was born. The non-believers mocked these Nephites, and said that the time for the sign had already passed. The believers were just being stupid and wasting their time--Christ would not be born. "What would you have done, if they were mocking you? Would you have felt tempted to fall away from the faith?" my teacher asked. "No, I would have believed more than ever," I said. I wasn’t being sarcastic, either. I remembered the Seekers Cult of 1956. Even after the date for their apocalypse passed, the member of the cult clung to their beliefs. They altered the date and hung on, because they couldn't bear to think that they had sold all their possessions, lost their jobs and devoted their lives to a hoax. In other words, they had no social line of retreat. If they were wrong, they were stupid, so they couldn't be wrong. I don’t want to draw any false equivalencies with supposed Nephite groups and cults. Still, a popular conception in the LDS church is that these particular Nephites felt pressured to conform, and were demonstrating great faith by continuing to wait for the sign. In reality these "pressures" were doomed to be counterproductive. The Nephites already had a social group which agreed with their views, so they felt less pressure to conform. Besides that, the mocking of the non believers eliminated the social line of retreat of those Nephites. If they didn’t believe, they were not only wrong, but also stupid, and had wasted their time for several years. Of course they clung to their beliefs. Now, I'll use a more personal (and still LDS, sorry) example. It's terrifying for me to think of leaving the Church because I have no social line of retreat. If I leave, I lose the approval and respect of my family and friends. If I leave I have wasted 17 years of my life. And if leaving is the wrong decision? Then I suffer in the afterlife. Doesn’t it sound more appealing to stay, considering the circumstances? Other communities, such as the Amish, have even more severe consequences for disagreement. Even Christ had a bad habit of eliminating social lines of retreat to hold on to his followers. To paraphrase, he said “You are either with me or against me. If you are lukewarm, I spit you out of my mouth.” Not a lot of wriggle room in that statement. So what does this mean? When you want to change someone’s mind, you need to give them a social line of retreat, allowing them to be wrong, yet not humiliated. Otherwise, they’ll fight you like a cornered rat on PCP, and you won't change their opinion no matter how superior your points are. If you want to prevent people from changing their minds when they already agree with you, eliminate their social lines of retreat. Once the thought of being wrong becomes unbearable, someone’s opinions on a topic are unlikely to change.