Vulnerability and human life ✨
~theme song: Resolution by Yasuharu Takanashi
(reflection pills series
by Paty | crystalsenergy)
so, what about it?...
and what if I told you:
"Express your greatest fear now. Face it, if you feel like crying, cry. Let it out. Sigh. If your chest hurts, cry more. Then, take a deep breath. It will pass. You will have let it out. And face what you feel."
...Would you say this to me?: "Wow, Paty, that's intense, why?"
if so, I'll respond: No, that isn't intense.
I am doing what needs to be done.
→ and what needs to be done?
encourage people to live naturally with the most basic thing we need to live: our feelings, our emotions.
can you imagine how many things we have bottled up and repressed, which generate various issues we face today - patterns of feeling, reacting, living, thinking, deciding. I'm not interested in just continuing my work talking about remedying, remedying, remedying the problems that I always see existing.
it's already clear that if we don't stop at some point to see what may happen because of our current and wrong way of dealing with emotions,
soon we will explode with more and more cases of mental health issues.
the problem will mainly be because the mask of "being fine" will be extremely perfect and almost impenetrable. and then it will be hard to see.
because every day, right now, we reinforce the masks of perfect and beautiful lives. and we rarely make room for what I proposed initially and which, perhaps, was strange for you to read: "cry, feel, face."
but it is also quite clear, from a psychological perspective, that stored, unassimilated, or unrestructured emotions play a significant role in defining who we are.
and although we don't deal well with our emotions, not even directing them properly,
they are our root, the most basic of what we are, the first thing we express when we are born. many of us cry when we are born, and certainly cry when we want to eat, when it hurts.
feeling is the most human thing, and are you pretending you don't have that?
it's not strong or heavy, and if you thought that when I suggested that you do the basics - spend some time with your emotions - it's probably because you're so accustomed to a vibe of not living the most internal things,
sometimes even accustomed to a life of facade, mechanized, only earthly, material, or with a lot of toxic positivity (= 'I feel something bad, and then I quickly replace the sadness with a good feeling, stuffing my sadness in a hole, without facing it, without "sitting" with it, understanding why it arose).
It's obvious that it's something simple, and quite unhealthy to do.
when we force ourselves not to feel, not to have problems, not to go through any internal mess = big negative effect on us and others, including those you don't even know.
because we get unaccustomed to our own vulnerability and we become unaccustomed to the vulnerability of others.
gradually, the natural sensitivity fades. Empathy decreases. we close ourselves off to what involves this. and we reinforce a pattern of nonexistent perfection: "constant positivity".
"Paty, so do we have to show everything?" → Obviously not. there is a huge difference between just not showing everything to everyone (1) and forcing yourself not to feel (2). it's the second case I'm focusing on. because the first one it's so normal, and who are we to disrespect each other's process and way of living their emotions? as long as you live, that's okay. each person will experience this in their own way.
now, I ask you:
was there any week in your life when you were 100% happy every day? cheerful, upbeat? c'mon,
let me know, please.
and on bad days, did you face what you felt?
did you talk about it or express it in some other way? [conversation isn't the only way to express what you feel, although it's very effective]. or did you stuff it into a hole? did you cover it up with some addiction, escapism, or toxic positivity?
Vulnerability. That's what makes us human and that's what connects us.
we long to feel. but, due to human difficulty, we have longed so much to hide and pretend to feel almost nothing, preferring to trivialize others' suffering in favor of egoic self-satisfaction, indifference, aversion, superficiality.
we don't want to admit that we have a lot of the other in us.
we want to spread that we are "self-sufficient" and don't need anyone when in the end, in the middle of the standard trajectory of "detachment" and "self-sufficiency," we have several internal expectations poorly met and extremely misdirected. and this, in the end, isn't even self-sufficiency.
blocking your emotions is blocking your humanity.
in the end, the domino you played comes back and hits your back. it will come back, unfortunately. because you're in the middle of all this: you don't differ from others in the aspect of feeling.
feeling is what connects people and reminds us of the existence of other beings. it's what makes us noble, connected.
the tears of emotion or happiness when someone gets married. It's not you getting married, but you FEEL a bit of the other's happiness.
the tears when you see someone cry, even in a movie. it's not you who feels the pain or sadness, but you feel, because you understand, even if for a brief moment, part of the other's suffering.
the smile from seeing someone achieve something,
the excitement someone transmits to you just by being excited themselves,
Mirror neurons.
the joy in seeing people laughing, ending up laughing along.
just situations to exemplify that what unites us is the feeling. so allow yourself to feel. I already allow you and am open-armed to accept all your sides, no matter how ""ugly"" they may seem, with eternal quotation marks.
It's not ugly to feel. Nor is it ugly to express.
Do not feel or label people who admit their feelings as "weak," or who "will achieve little in the world." stop seeing the next person as your adversary.
if it helps you see the problem: you are close to the other.
with you, it's just you and no one else. following your logic, with the other, it will be just the other and no one else. okay... and when you need it, what do you expect to receive if that's the way you think life works? In an extremely "me, me, me, me" way.
Accept to be more vulnerable, as much as each one can now, whether in the expression of a small affection, an observation gesture, or something big, immense. But let it exist. In your own way, but let it exist.
and it is not necessary to relate to people to remember that you're here to exchange & experience emotions. just look around you: there are so many beings needing you!