#regrettable ramblings

[regretisstoredintheme]

I feel like a lot of people don’t realize calling a fandom “dead” eventually becomes a self fulfilling prophecy

[regretisstoredintheme]

Kiss. (A Oneshot) - Rise!Leonardo X Reader

Warnings(?): Hurt small comfort, Leo hates he ass but specifically in context to you

—

For Leo, self deprecation has always been.. his thing.

At least it was for you.

“You were my first kiss.” It’s a mumble, a smile, sunlight lighting up the room through the curtains. You sound so proud, like that event wasn’t the asteroid that collided into earth a billion years ago.

“Oh, yeah?” He laughs, you know that laugh, it’s not his, it’s not what lights up your sky, it’s not the moon out your window. “That’s certainly a way to gain experience!” He’s doing it again. He’s ramping up to a joke.

but it’s not the kind that sweeps you off your feet. It’s not the featherlight touch of his hand on your side and it’s not the bubbles of joy that leave your mouth whenever he speaks. It is a dagger, and it’s not aimed at you.

“Didn’t mean to ruin your expectations.” He elbows your side, but you don’t laugh with him. You don’t know how to tell him that his blood did not give off nitrous oxide as he so thought. It’s hard when, for him, the line between the joke, and the one making it, had become so blurred.

“You didn’t.” It slipped out. An accident. The very same way your first kiss had happened, through a desire that was expressed so suddenly.

His head slowly turned, eyes locked on your own. They didn’t have the mirth you remember, that you loved so much. His smile slowly faded, like a soldier being forced to admit he’d been afraid. Like a soldier, sacrificing himself for the team.

“Well, but—“ like a soldier that gets back up again, that hides the wound, that bandages themself all alone and won’t let anyone see it. The weakness. The pain. “Obviously it was different than you imagined, right..?” And the blood seeps through the clothes, and they can’t hide, and they can’t look away, and they need help. He needs help. He needs you.

“Every first kiss is different than people first imagine.” Your eyes stare back at his own, tired of the war, tired of the injuries. A nurse who wants to do their damn job. But there is no war, and there is no stab wound, just You, and Leo, and his self deprecation.

“But for you,” because it’s not just a joke. “It was even better than I could have imagined.” And it’s never been a joke.

“…”

And he’s never been a joke.

“I never thought I’d even get a first kiss.” He says.

—

A/n: tees and hees. This was mostly abstract?? idk you could honestly imagine this to whoever you wanted who self deprecates, but I haven’t written anything in a HOT MINUTE and I felt the sudden URGE yk. I feel like I’ve lost my muchness a little bit, but yk it eees what it eees.

[regretisstoredintheme]

So I had fun..

I did some doodles of Leo as Jax from TADC

NO I’m NOT saying they’re the same— they are only similar in regards to using humor as a coping mechanism— I just love putting tmnt to like every media format I consume ever LMAO

[regretisstoredintheme]

I love the duality of my writing…

Writing the Raph hurt comfort that took me like 2 weeks: oh my god, I hope this is accurate! And comforting, too! I’d be so sad if I offended someone :( I hope they tell me if I do!

Yandere Leo hurt no comfort that took me ONE NIGHT: fuck it, we ball

[regretisstoredintheme]

I feel like I’ve regressed (art wise) on how I draw the turtles (SPECIFICALLY LEO) and it’s PISSING ME OFFF 😭😭😭

[regretisstoredintheme]

If I made a super self-indulgent comic with like… basically a self insert….

… would anyone read it..

[regretisstoredintheme]

When I’m writing hurt-comfort and it gets to the actual comfort part

[regretisstoredintheme]

Looking for fics and my own work pops up in the feed…