#reigneds

[rvtionality]

spit in my mouth

     “done and done. please call me any time and any place.”

[hcartshaped]

I Will Be Your Witness

I Will Be Your Witness: I have to confess something that I think of or feel toward anyone who speaks to me each time they speak to me for six hours.

‘ ugh. ’

[edithong-blog]

📱nikita

send 📱to see how my muse has yours in their phone – open !

nikita

🎶strong wave – dilli jinn

✉️i’m not the best with these kinds of things✉️but if you need to talk you know you can come to me✉️right?

[rcmeuz]

📱

                 ◜ 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑒 ◞  ◦  ——————  ◦  𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

                                           ————    𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀𝙇 〙

—— 〚 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟓 𝐏𝐌 〛fuck you nikita honestly—— 〚 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟓 𝐏𝐌 〛why you always gotta make me look like the villain, its unbearable  —— 〚 𝟏:𝟐𝟓 𝐀𝐌 〛where you at?  —— 〚 𝟏:𝟐𝟓 𝐀𝐌 〛i’m coming over okay—— 〚 𝟏:𝟑𝟎 𝐀𝐌 〛im sorry  

                          ♫ ▸ —————— 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠…

                                                  𝕙𝕖𝕪𝕒𝕙𝕖  —— ᴏɴᴇ

[rvtionality]

“Your hair keeps falling into your eyes, do you know that? Here, lemme just—” GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

     through the sudden mention of her hair,  winnie caught herself off guard.  she must have been TOO deep in thought about the roots of a couple of the new medical terms she heard flying around or whatever article she had just read about recently discovered marine biology.  unknowingly she held a hand up to her face to hide a slight blush,  “oh,  thanks !  guess i should keep it more tamed next time –– maybe take the time to brush it ?”  she wasn’t always one to make an EFFORT to look her best.  “wow,  your hands are really soft ?” she actually ADORED it when people played with her hair.

[rvtionality]

“i learned from my dad it’s good to have feelings.”

     “oh,  feelings ?”  winnie echoed.  it wasn’t as though she didn’t FEEL anything,  it was more like she tried to ignore whatever she was feeling.  she often thought that emotion got in the way of logic and that to follow one’s heart ?  it was merely a COMICAL idea that only existed in movies.  “i just don’t want to seem vulnerable in front of people,”  she cringed slightly as the words left her mouth.  “but overall,  i think i’d rather just NOT get so complicated within the human condition.”

[consitor]

“ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ”

𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓮 ⤷ accepting.

           SHOULD  SHE  FEEL  BAD   ?           there  is  something  that  sits  almost  like  guilt  in  between  her  ribs,  but  it  weighs  far  less.  this  is  wrong,  tamsin  thinks,  because  she  should  not  feel  this  relief  about  her  sister’s  departure.  

     she  does  not  want  to  admit  that  maybe  it’s  like  she’s  already  gone.

     tamsin’s  knuckles  turn  white  in  the  attempt  to  calm  herself.  this  was  not  always  a  challenge  —  she  still  remembers  a  time  where  she  could  share  a  laugh  with  nikita  and  it  would  not  hurt.  there  had  been  a  time  where  they  fought  without  claws  and  tami  could  smile  about  it  afterwards  without  bloodied  teeth.

     you’re  still  waiting  for  your  salvation.

     it  is  foolish  to  hold  on  to  memories  for  too  long.  they  used  to  mould  themselves  into  nightmares  —  her  mother  always  the  monster  underneath  her  bed.  she  would  be  buried  in  her  sister’s  garden  where  no  one  could  hear  her  pleas  for  help,  and  she’d  awake  in  the  mornings  feeling  the  exact  same.  it  is  not  like  this  anymore.  tamsin  doesn’t  need  anyone.  tamsin  does  certainly  not  need  her  sister.

     (  golden  girl,  this  is  your  chance.  spread  your  wings  and  learn  to  soar.  bury  your  bitterness,  you  don’t  need  it  anymore.  you  are  used  to  falling,  aren’t  you  ?  always  because  of  her.  )

     would  she  ?  would  she  fly  either  way  ?  was  this  not,  somehow  also,  self-sabotage  ?  tamsin  sits  on  it  before  she  can  meet  her  sister’s  hues,  the  color  they  both  bear  so  well,  but  only  one  of  them  with  pride.  nikita  deserves  this  —  she  deserves  what  she  has  worked  for,  and  tami  can  acknowledge  that.  she  had  just  always  hoped  she  would  be  standing  next  to  her  rather  than  behind  her  when  her  sister  conquered  the  world.

     (  smart  girl,  this  is  your  opportunity.  out  of  your  sister’s  shadow.  out  of  the  cold.  you  are  used  to  sacrifices,  aren’t  you  ?  all  of  them  for  her.  )

     there  is  an  eternity  in  the  moments  that  pass  as  tami  fumbles  for  words.  they  don’t  have  this  time  —  they  are  already  out  of  it.  this  is  a  tightrope  none  of  them  know  how  to  walk.  she  can  watch  nikita  leave  irreversibly  and  would  that  not  be  the  biggest  sacrifice  of  all  ?

     you  waited  all  this  time  for  this  ?

    «  wait.  »

    i  don’t  know  how  to  tell  you.  out  of  everyone,  losing  you  hurt  the  most  and  it  was  never  your  fault.  i  know  it  wasn’t,  but  please  don’t  blame  me  for  being  bitter.  i  swear  i’m  trying.  but  i  was  a  ghost  that  none  of  you  cared  to  bury  and  i  was  in  so  much  pain,  sister  —  you  will  not  believe  the  amount  of  tears  i  shed  in  silence.  i  still  do,  when  i  know  no  one’s  watching.  i’m  fighting  wars  alone  and  i’m  losing  all  of  them.  i  just  wanted  a  sister.  that  was  all  i  ever  wanted.

     «  i’m  sorry.  »

     how  to  tell  you  ?

     «  i  still  need  you.  »