mayhaps a snippet of reJEANcy Lup and Barry when they were courting and Before Things Went to Shit?
Is this ask like at least a year old? Yes. Am I sorry? Very.
Better late than never??? 😂
Please ignore the fact that the first half of this conversation is missing they’re courting they’re walking in a park in London, that’s all you have to know it’s fine don’t question it.
This is part of my ReJEANcy Au (it’s like jane austen but with taz)
*****
“And you have been sent here to marry,” he said. Lup felt her face grow warm at the words, and a bitterness settle in her heart. For though the material circumstances of her situation never escaped her, they had felt of late to be more and more pressing in upon her, confining and stifling her at every step.
“ I am one and twenty years of age,” she replied, bitterly. “I am a spinster in the making, in their eyes. And my brother, with the decline of our property, will scarcely be able to afford me, in a number of years.” Her chest clenched at the thought of it, her and Taako, her brother ragged and tired even just as a youth, and Lup a burden on him he could not afford, and would not part with.
“Spinsterhood is a harsh fate to have thrust upon you at so young an age.” And Barry’s voice drew her back to the present, the kindness and warmth in it, even with the weight of the subject they were discussing, and it did not escape Lup that such a subject coming from him could only mean one thing, and while her heart wished dearly for it, it frightened her. To be taken from Taako by matrimony would only be a fate slightly less terrible than to be a weight around his neck as their years advanced.
And yet, Lup had enjoyed such company with Barry in London as she had never before experienced in her life. To imagine that he could walk out of this conversation, to a place where Lup could not follow, and perhaps that upon her journey home, she would not ever see him again, and perhaps exchange only careful letters from afar, as polite acquaintances… surely there could be no joy in that either.
“If I could, I would make my fortune as you do,” she said, wistfully. “Make discoveries that would bear my name for generations to come.”
Mister Bluejeans chuckled.
“There is little money to be made in discovering,” he said wryly.
“Even so. As it is I am expected to prattle along until I keep house for whichever man deigns to make me an offer.” The forwardness of her words practically made Lup tremble. The distance between her and Barry seemed incredibly vast, and she longed, for a terrible moment, to be more openly his sweetheart, for though everyone in Town seemed to sense their connection, she could not link her arm with his and feel the strength and weight of him beside her, and had to make do with the faint energy of one who is close but yet not close enough to touch. She abruptly missed their first dance, and wished, foolishly, to have taken better advantage of the opportunity to touch him, when she had it.
“It is a disheartening way to live,” she said, for the truth in it, and desperate, perhaps for comfort, and perhaps for clever mister Bluejeans to read between the lines, to see that he was one of those who could release her from the utter precarity of her circumstances, and more happily, perhaps, than any other soul on earth.
For truly, with him, she thought that perhaps she could be happy. That they could have a companionship in intellect as well as in affection, one that she could hardly have hoped for upon her arrival to London, nearly five months ago now.
“You speak of yourself very meanly, Miss Taaco,” Barry responded, after a time, and Lup laughed with no humor.
“I speak the truth, meanly or no,” she said. She could not bring herself to brighten her words, the depth of her anxiety dragging her out of levity’s reach.
At this the gentleman paused a long moment, and the sound of birds’ wings and trills, and the footfalls of himself and herself along the path were all that she heard for a long moment. Until he spoke again,
“It would be a foolish person,” he said, “who would know you more than an hour and consider you fit only to keep house.” He spoke in that stilted way that Lup had come to know well, the words coming slow and soft and in such a manner that she could hardly help but understand, in her deepest heart, that his intention was to tell the absolute truth, as he understood it, without alteration.
“You carry as sharp a wit as any of my colleagues,” he continued, “and as great a natural aptitude for the scientific arts, that you have consistently been a most stimulating conversational partner, these several weeks, without the benefit of the extensive education many others enjoy.” Lup flushed, half in shame at his oblique reference to her lack of fortune and circumstance, her greatest failure in the eyes of Society, and her greatest blemish. But the other half of it was no doubt in the sincerest throes of flattery, that he should speak of her so.
Mister Bluejeans, she knew now, was not one to embellish needlessly, in his kindness to others. Though as good and generous a man as any she had known, Lup could not imagine that his words were meant only to flatter her unduly. Such counterfeit would not suit Barry, not in any reality she could imagine.
“There is no lady in all my acquaintance,” he said, soft, “whose mind I admire more. It is a great injustice indeed, that the whole of society should underestimate you, when you are more than worthy of their highest esteem.”
Lup almost could feel tears coming to her eye at his words.
“Mister Bluejeans,” she said, her voice weak, “You are surely too kind.”
“I am exactly as kind as you deserve,” he answered, though Lup thought she could hear perhaps the barest tremor in his voice with the words. And indeed, Lup had hardly ever heard him speak in so forward a manner before, without the barest opportunity for misinterpretation to be found. He was always plain of speech, but never had Lup been on the receiving end of such unmitigated compliments.
The day was fine, and the sun was shining down upon them, and the season would be over soon, and Lup, for perhaps the first time, allowed in herself a kind of happiness to blossom such as she had never thought she would feel in her life. For this was what it must be like, she thought, to be in love, and she was now certain, loved in return. For surely Barry must love her, with the time that he chose to spend by her side, and with his words, seemingly designed to cut her to the quick and lay her bare. She was certain he could see all of her heart stretched out before him, and she waited to see how he would act upon the information written upon it.
“Perhaps it need not be necessary,” he said, after another several minutes of silence, “that you be forced into one circumstance or another.” Lup’s heart quickened in her chest, and she could scarcely believe her ears. “Perhaps marriage need not be… so stifling as you imagine it, if your husband were of a mind to pay sufficient respect to your intellectual capabilities alongside the pleasure of your company.”
Lup could hardly breathe.
“I do not think I should find it stifling at all, mister Bluejeans,” she said, breathless, desperate, “if that were the case.” She swallowed, and wondered how much further she dared go.
“In fact,” she pushed, “I think I should like that very much.”
And at that, Lup seemed to feel a tension roll off of his shoulders, by proxy, and saw, from the corner of her eye, an almost resolute nod, and he seemed inclined to speak no more, while Lup kept her pace silently beside him, and choked on her own anticipation.
For surely, his words were as good as a proposal, in everything but name? What else could he be alluding to, with such talk, but a marriage between the two of them? And in a matter of minutes Lup’s life had turned on a dime, and suddenly all of her terror and discomfort and pain seemed they could vanish at a simple word from mister Bluejeans’ lips-
If only he would ask her.
But he spoke no more, just then, and Lup’s heart, as they took their turn around the park, slowly returned to a more sedate pace to match her breaths and her steps, and they spent a good fifteen minutes in a not-uncomfortable silence.
Which, if his words had not before, only sealed Lup’s heart further in its conviction toward the man beside her.
Here was someone, she thought, who must care for her, to have sought her out. Who must surely understand how perfectly suited he was to her desires for her own future and for companionship in marriage. With whom she could speak and feel at ease, and more, with whom she could be silent and feel no pressure to chatter needlessly and fill the air.
He was perfect, Lup thought, practically sick with it, and she could not imagine another day without him.
After a time, their ramble came to an end, and mister Bluejeans turned, as Lup saw the Captain catching up to them, from down the path, where he had been walking a good quarter-mile behind.
“Miss Taaco,” Barry said, his blue eyes warm behind his spectacles, and weighty, so that Lup hung upon his every word. “Do you think the good captain would permit me to call upon you tomorrow, at his home?”
And Barry had already called to the Captain’s home many times. There could be but one reason why he was asking, as Captain Davenport was the closest thing Lup had to a guardian, and it could not have escaped Barry’s notice that while he had no right to deny any suitor Lup’s hand, Barry could ask for permission to see her, and it would be nearly the same.
Her heart ached with his gallantry.
“Mister Bluejeans,” she breathed. “The Captain has always said that I am free to extend his invitation to any visitors I please, while I am here in Town.” Yes, he would be happy to have you. “Plus,” she added, “he considers you a friend. I am sure that he would be more than happy to see you call.” He will approve.
Barry smiled, then, and it nearly killed her, and with a bow, and the barest brush of his lips to the back of her gloved hand, he bid her a farewell until tomorrow, and turned, and left the park, just as the Captain made his way to stand beside her.
“That’s sorted, then?” he asked, in his brusque way. Lup thought she could feel her hand tingling through her glove, still warm from where Barry’s lips brushed against it.
“He wishes to call upon the house tomorrow,” she said faintly, still staring, quite shamelessly, at his retreating form.
The captain’s hand came up to rest upon her shoulder, and he gave her something of a squeeze and an awkward pat.
“Congratulations, then, lass,” he said. “I daresay you could not have done any better.”
Hi! I've seen a ton of reJEANcy content on my dash lately and I'm loving what I've read so far! I went to the tag on your blog and oml there's so much, I don't know where to start! Is there any potential for it to ever be put together in like.. a full ao3 story you think? I know you have some on your account but it looks like it hasn't been updated in a while o: If not, would I be able to bug you for a brief timeline so I know what happened when? Thanks again!
Hey first of all thanks for being interested in a thing I did! Second: I really can’t tell you whether this thing will ever be a full story on Ao3, and if it is, it certainly will not be so within a timeframe that interested parties would likely be willing to wait thru. Some people can do content on a schedule, and I’m learning to accept that I’m just not there in life. I just gotta do what sparks joy, u know? But! I do have snippets! And if you’d like them, I would be happy to compile them in narrative order.
So! I will link all existing things I have posted thus far in narrative order here, and maybe I’ll think about brushing some of them up for Ao3 depending on the time I have. I would also not be opposed to updating/reblogging a masterpost when new things are uploaded to tumblr if that would help! just lmk.
Rejeancy Masterpost Under the Cut:
Blups meet not-so-cute
Blups courtship
Oh no! Thwarted! / Thwarted Part 2
Lup’s Summer Vacay Gets Interesting / Part 2
Lup’s Many Feelings About Taakitz / Part 2
A Fateful Re-introduction
The Part with Angst
It gets a bit better :)
And that’s all the snippets of the main (Blupjeans) storyline. Separate of this we have:
Oops! All Taakitz Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 2 but illustrated
And those parts are just the taaktiz romance, which I don’t consider to be the main storyline of this au, as I’m more about the blups, but BOY are they good.
And I think that’s it! everything else, including meta and memes, can simply found under my #rejeancy tag. But if you’re looking for fic, here ya go!
Hey FYI rejeancy is like my favorite TAZ au & I’m losing my mind over the new snippet you posted. Please don’t feel pressured to write anything you don’t want to, I just wanted you to know this made my day <3
I’m so glaaaaad anon!! That means the world to me to hear that, it makes me feel so loved.
I know I should probably save up snippets for the future, but uhhhh how about some tenderness after this little angsty bit from the end of act 2-ish of the story.
Little small content warning here, for mention of illness. Don’t worry though, she gets better :)
*~*~*~*~*
“As I understand it, I owe you my life.”
“What a terrible word that is, ‘owe.’ Let us not use it any longer,” Barry said, the words tripping out from between his lips before he could stop them, for the thought that Lup of all people would think herself indebted to him was suddenly so terrible, and soured the air so completely that he could not abide it. “Not between us,” he said to her. Her face was impossible to read.
And then, the slightest hint of a smile across her lips, and a shine in her eyes beneath her lashes.
“Very well,” she said. “I shall not speak of it then, save this. Thank you. And now, before you object anymore, you are free from ever thinking of saving my life again. And we may return to just how things were before.”
But Barry’s stomach turned at that.
As things were before. When Miss Taaco would only speak with him a few times in the course of an evening, and the rest of it was full of glances that Barry could not read. When she would visibly shrink, a little, upon his entering a room, even though he could feel her attention on him almost as though she did not wish to ignore him, and yet did not dare approach. As things were before, with a terrible space between them, and Barry thinking of calling on her day after day, and hardly ever working up the courage to ride down to Kravitz’s beautiful manor, even just to take tea with the master of the house and glimpse the hem of Lup’s dress once in the course of the afternoon.
Barry could not imagine returning to how things were before.
His hand itched to take hers, as he had while she was unconscious and fighting for her life against fever, but he could not. Such impropriety now, with Miss Taaco out of danger - it would be against all good manner and breeding, and despite the residual fear curled into Barry’s stomach from seeing her lying still and barely clinging to her own life, he could not bring himself to break with good manners, here in the bright light of day, and with the color returned to her cheeks and the spark returned to her eyes.
He folded his hands in his lap instead.
“Miss Taaco,” he said. He worked his jaw around the shape of what he wished to say.
“I believe I have been cold to you,” he settled on, “since last summer when we renewed our acquaintance.”
And oh, how her face turned at that. Pale, still paler after her illness, her lips twitched into a shape not altogether pleasant, but she kept her chin high and her gaze firmly upon him, restraint present in every line of her body, and Barry wondered what she was restraining herself from. He wished to tell her to break with it, to allow herself to say what rested just inside the threshold of her lips.
“Please allow me to apologize,” he continued, “I have been unfair. You have shown me all the kindness and generosity I could wish from an acquaintance or even a dear friend, and my conduct, in failing to return it, has been deplorable. I beg you to forgive me-”
“Mister Bluejeans,” she said, wringing her hands, distressed enough to interrupt, “there is nothing you need apologize for to me - I - I was the one who broke our acquaintance at the first. If anything, you have been more than justified in-”
“I would see you,” Barry cut in, watching as she went speechless at the vehemence of his tone. Barry swallowed. “As you recover,” he added. “I would, at your leave, renew the friendship we shared those years ago. You will not be receiving much amusement, as you improve,” and he had never had a way with words, but he hoped desperately that she would understand. “And if you would permit me, I would be… very pleased, to offer any company you may desire. You are still the woman I most respect out of all I know. And I would take advantage of your time, if you would so allow me.”
She looked positively taken aback, and Barry watched as her mouth worked silently for a moment.
“Of course,” she finally said, faintly. Her eyes shone, and Barry could feel the ever so slight loosening in his shoulders from recognizing a certain pleasure in her face. A half smile, and her tone turned warm as she said,
“I daresay you will tire of my company, Mister Bluejeans, before I tire of yours.”
Guys I know this is just me and I made it up but like I’m ROLLING at Kravitz in ReJEANcy au he’s a single man who has already inherited, he’s absurdly wealthy to the point that he owns most of the county and by all accounts he can do literally almost anything he wants short of murder, he’s less than a couple hours’ ride away from his actual house and his actual mother and yet he STILL chooses to get married without telling ANYONE and then grabs his husband and fucks off to france for literally a few months like Kravitz... Kravitz Why. Kravitz there’s no need for this. My man just did it because he’s gay and loves drama what a fucking king.
(i was inspired by @mspainttaz and their fae au memes so I think we should all make memes of our aus now (cough cough instead of writing them - what? who said that? (self call out))). So here’s some rejeancy memes. are they all vaguely the same? Maybe. But I love my kids and I made laura laugh so it’s worth it.
Image descriptions under the cut.
1. Gunshots meme from the Eric Andre show
[ID: in the first panel, Eric Andre fires a gun at his co-host, Hannibal, who is sitting in a chair, shooting him in the chest. Eric is labeled “Lydia” and Hannibal is captioned “Barry’s heart.” In the second panel, Eric is looking at the camera, and asking “why would Lup do this?” END ID]
2. Uno Draw 25 meme
[ID: the first panel is a close up of an uno card with the text “Admit to your feelings for Barry openly OR draw 25.” In the second panel, a man is reaching to draw cards from a deck, and in his hand is a truly obscene number of uno cards. END ID]
3. Sad Wolverine meme
[ID: In the first panel, an animated man and woman are kissing passionately. They are labeled as: “Taakitz, returned from France.” In the second panel, and animated comic-style wolverine is standing in the foreground, and the couple is in the background. Wolverine, who is looking away impassively, is labeled “Lup.” END ID]
4. The Gru’s plan meme
[ID: a meme with four panels featuring Gru from despicable me. In the first three panels, he is gesturing to an easel as he flips sheets of paper, revealing steps to a plan. In the fourth, he is looking at his own easel in surprise and disappointment. The first two panels read as follows: “Meet a kind, well-to-do man in the city” And “fall hopelessly in love with him and prepare for your imminent betrothal” the third and fourth panels read: “He ghosts you because you were a bitch behind his back 2 months ago.” END ID]
5. What Gives people power
[ID: a bar graph with bars emanating from the y axis. The graph is entitled “What gives Lydia feelings of power.” The first and shortest bar is labeled “Money.” The second, slightly longer bar is labeled “power.” The thirs and longest bar by far is labeled “ruining prospective marriages for the meme.” END ID]
6. Dominoes meme
[ID: a man is bent down in front of a series of white boxes lined up in the style of dominoes, each box in the line progressively larger than the last, and poised that if the smallest is toppled, they will fall in succession. He is in the process of tipping the first in line. The smallest “domino” in the line is labeled “one mean comment in private company.” The largest “domino” at the end of the line is labeled “RUINATION AND DESPAIR” in all caps. END ID]
7. Road Sign Meme
[ID: Above a fork in a highway, there is a large road sign, indicating the destination each direction will lead to. A car on the road is turning sharply to the right. The left of the sign is labeled “literally just get married normally you’re like 2 hours away from your mom kravitz you have no excuse just get permission-”. The right of the sign is labeled, in significantly larger capitalized text, “ELOPE TO FRANCE.” END ID]
8. Woman Yelling at cat meme
[ID: in the first panel of the meme, on the left, a woman is pointing in and accusatory fashion, and yelling. This panel is labeled “Lup, meeting Taako again for the first time after his marriage that he neglected to inform her of until after it’s been accomplished.” The right panel of the meme features a cat sitting at a table, with its mouth open as though in indignant argument. This panel is labeled “Taako.” END ID]
9. Flex Tape Meme
[ID: in the first panel, a large tank of water has had a hole punched in it, and the water is pouring out in a torrent. A man stands to the left of the tank, holding a length of black tape, ready to apply it to the leak. The tank and water are labeled “Neglecting to inform your sister of your marriage until after the fact,” and the man is labeled “Taako.” The second panel is a close up of the tape being applied to the leak. The black tape is labeled “HE’S VERY RICH” in all caps. END ID]
10. Clown Makeup meme
[ID: the meme consists of four vertical panels of a man putting on clown makeup, each panel featuring a later step of the application, as follows: panel one features white foundation, panel 2 features brightly colored eye and mouth makeup atop the foundation. Panel 3 shows the man putting on a rainbow wig. Panel four is the final product of makeup and wig. Each panel is labeled. Panel one reads: “Lup: “I’m not still in love with Barry.” Panel two: “I’ll apologize to him and we can be friends after everything.” Part three: “Clearly he doesn’t want to be with me anymore after I hurt him, so it’s better this way.” Panel four: “I’ll be fine, it’ll be like nothing ever happened.” END ID]
Look I know I’m op but like I can’t get over Taako in this Regency au guys like this letter?
Hi Lup, I know it’s been a month since we talked. Please don’t be mad, but I’m married now. Yes, it was on purpose. Yes, I actually like him. Also he’s very rich. Like I like him anyway but he’s so fucking rich though? We’re loaded. I know it looks like an elopement because we met like less than a month ago but when you’re this rich who gives a shit? Anyway you should come live with us when we get back from France. Did I mention I’m going to France?
Oh btw I saw your ex and I was a bitch to him for you, hope you don’t mind.
ReJEANcy again! Taako is away on business. Lup and Kravitz attend a party as new in laws. The people who can boast to be loved by Taako form an exclusive club. AKA: Lup and Kravitz are best friends and I will never not use the fact that Kravitz and Taako fell in love without Lup around in canon to my advantage because it has me feeling Some Kinda Way.
As always, thanks to @fandomsnstuff for you know... everything?
This felt longer when I wrote it but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Enjoy!
ReJEANcy can be found Here and Here.
*~*~*~*~*
The evening came to its close, and with it, Kravitz and Lup retired with all due gallantry and ceremony, making their excuses and saying their goodbyes, until their coach was pulled around the front of the manor house drive, and Kravitz himself held out his hand to help Lup step up into the carriage.
She could not help but notice that the other guests began filtering out as well at their departure, and with it came the errant wondering - whether all in the county followed Kravitz’s lead in everything. She supposed they would, as he owned the majority of it. As the coach pulled away, beginning the long journey back to Astral, her thoughts strayed to the many introductions of the evening, to Kravitz’s neighbors, his friends.
Never had she been treated with such respect and deference in company. It was intimidating, in a way, to stand by Kravitz’s side; he could not stand in a room without one immediately taking notice of his excellent manner and breeding. He inspired a certain self-consciousness in company, it was clear, though he seemed at all times to combat it with a practiced grace. What a ridiculous thing money was, she thought, to inspire such feeling in a crowd. That simply because Kravitz’s wealth was so vast, he was treated as a great man.
And by extension, she as a very great woman. And there lay the contradiction to her first inclination. That as intimidating as it was to stand on Kravitz’s arm, there was a power to it. That the difference between the treatment of Miss Lup Taaco, and Kravitz’s sister-in-law Miss Taaco was tangible.
It was another thing about him, she thought, perhaps the thing that most swayed her to liking him; that beyond the other facets of his character, one thing had stood out: he had, from the moment they first met, treated Lup not as a lower-class member of the gentry, a supposed gentleman’s daughter with no fortune to her name. No, he had always acted, from the moment he was introduced to her, as though Lup was every bit his equal in rank, class, circumstance, breeding, and all. And in company, his example was always followed, for who would dare offend Lord Kravitz of Davenshire?
She wondered if Taako had felt this way when Kravitz was courting him. There was something intoxicating about standing on Kravitz’s arm, being so well treated and highly thought of. It was no wonder he had been taken with the man in so short a time.
“You are contemplative,” Kravitz said, from where he sat opposite her. He was leaned back against the wall of the carriage, one leg bent on the seat, all relaxation now that they were unobserved. “What are you thinking of?”
He looked warm from the evening’s wine. Lup felt much the same: warm, loose, a bit tired from drink and company. It led her, perhaps, to speak more earnestly than she was used to.
“That you treat me better than I deserve, in their eyes,” she replied. His head cocked to the side, slow, brow furrowing inquisitively. “You behave in company as though I am your equal,” she explained, “when women of my status are not even allowed into the rooms in which you are treated as an honored guest. You have married Taako; I may be his sister, but my circumstances are unchanged. I am not accustomed to being treated as equal to someone of such rank as yourself.”
The man looked amused, a smirk on his lips.
“Taako would have me believe you are not my equal at all; rather he would tell me that you are my better. I believe he has said as much more than once.”
Lup laughed, quiet.
“He would say it.” She could not help but smile. Taako was better to her than she deserved.
“He thinks more highly of you than of any person living or dead,” Kravitz said, and Lup was taken, once again, by how… lucky she was.
“I am fortunate it is so,” she replied, her voice falling quiet. Kravitz looked at her fondly, and Lup thought how much more handsome he seemed here, quiet and relaxed and content in a comfortable space all his own. In company he was like a marble, fixed and perfected. He was much the same at the Estate when he was working, in order that those who worked under his name could follow a strong, confident example. She much preferred the softer iteration of him here, with life flowing through him, and so obviously. She thought that this must have been what Taako saw in him when he consented to marry him.
“My brother does not love easily,” she said, the words abruptly coming up from somewhere deep, secret, and true inside of her, spilling from her lips quickly and unexpectedly, lingering in the still air. She must’ve been inspired to say them by the drink, or by the intimate darkness of the swaying carriage, but now that she had said them, she felt at once as though there was a weight on her chest that, if not removed at once, would surely kill her. She tore her eyes from Kravitz, gazed toward the window at the blackness of the country night.
“If I knew him any measure less than I do,” she confessed, “if anything had driven us from one another as children… I might believe that he had no heart at all.”
She looked back to Kravitz. His brow was furrowed once more, and he appeared fixed on her every word.
“It is quite the opposite you know,” she said. “It took me so long to understand, when we were younger. But he is not without feeling; rather… he feels so much, when he allows himself, that he can hardly stand it. He is so capable of love that he feels the need to conceal his heart behind wit and artifice, behind distant manners. It is how he survives this world; if everything were to touch him, as it touches us, he would drown from the force of it.”
Lup could not continue for the lump in her throat. She had always been the only one, save Auntie, who could understand the warmth under Taako’s iron exterior, the softness that he hid away for fear that it would one day be his destruction. Lup was the only one in the world who knew Taako enough to understand that to be loved by him was the greatest privilege man could bestow, so great, sometimes, that it was almost painful to know. Lup was the only one who understood the responsibility implied in being one of Taako’s beloved.
And then there was Kravitz.
“I apologize,” she said, around her tightened throat. “I am sure these are not revelations to you. But I must confess I was… taken off guard, upon my arrival to Davenshire, by how much he has come to care for you.” And suddenly it was vital that Kravitz understand, in no uncertain terms, how great his responsibility was too, alongside hers.
“Against all odds, you have captured my brother’s heart,” she said, looking at Kravitz, beautiful Kravitz, and she felt she would cry any moment. She spoke with as much gravity as she would muster, the wine in her blood loosening her tongue to an honesty she rarely felt confident enough to employ.
“You must be very careful with it.”
Kravitz looked warily at her, sympathy deep in his eyes. But with it, something more, something she could not yet identify.
“I intend to be,” he hedged, and Lup shook her head, closing her eyes, and then looking at him imploringly, leaning forward in her seat.
“You do not understand me. He will love you like no one alive can. I do not say it lightly. It is… to be loved by my brother, actively, is like nothing else. But betray the trust he places in you for a moment, Kravitz, and it will destroy him. It will break him so that he dares not allow himself to love again, and if there is one thing I will not see, it is my brother, shut off from this world and heartless.
“He weathered the death of our Aunt last year,” she said, “She was one of two people I could say definitively that Taako cared for. I am the other. You are the third I have seen him open himself to in the way that he has in my lifetime.” She swallowed thickly, thinking of Taako’s frightened, joyful expression the first moment he confessed to Lup that he loved Kravitz. Lup had never seen anything akin to it in the world.
“You must understand,” she said, “that you carry his heart in your hands now. He has made himself defenseless for you, and there is nothing in existence he fears more than that. There is no bravery he can summon greater than that which allows him to trust. It has never been simple for him. If he loves you, Kravitz, and he does, it is, whether you know it or not, the result of contemplation deeper and more labored than you can possibly have known when you asked him for his hand.
“I am his sister. He has always trusted me, in our own way. But he has chosen to place his trust in you, quite against his nature, and your responsibility is greater for it.” She blinked the tears from her eyes. To think Taako had only been absent a few days, and she missed him so terribly already. She did not understand how she had lasted in London without him, without being on the receiving side of that deep, overwhelming affection - without seeing him errantly in the hall or across a crowded room, and remembering, every moment, that she would do anything in the world for him.
Kravitz was gazing at her with wide eyes, half frightened, but immensely serious nonetheless, and Lup thought, of all people she had ever met, he seemed the one to hear her words and take them to heart more deeply than any.
“It is precarious ground upon which we stand, you and I,” she said, wryly. “Those who love him as we do.” She chuckled wetly. “But he is the best of us, is he not?”
“He is worth every trial,” Kravitz said then, conviction imbued in every aspect of his voice, and a wave of relief and affection swept over Lup so suddenly that she could hardly breathe. That Kravitz, with one sentence, had made it clear that he knew not only the weight of bearing Taako’s love, but also that he had come, independently, to the conclusion that he would bear it willingly, was a greater gift to her heart than any she could have received from her brother-in-law in all her life. The relief that there was someone in Taako’s life who understood him so that if she was made to leave him, he would be held in safe and loving hands was enough to finally bring the tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. And the kinship that had been lurking in the back of her mind; the sense that Kravitz knew her in an unspeakable way, simply for how much he was able to see the value of her brother, grew in her suddenly and fiercely until it was all consuming.
She smiled at Kravitz.
“Then you are worthy of him,” she said. And she let her head rest against the carriage wall, and her eyes to slide shut.
She’s only been gone a month, she thinks desperately, her heart pounding, her lungs burning, the sun beating hot on her neck as she rides full tilt away from town. She’s only been away a month, how can it be true? Did Taako have an understanding she did not know of? But Taako tells her everything - and no, there was no suitor, there were no prospects - she was with him in London, the entire time and noticed nothing -
It must be a rumor. It must be. How could Taako be -
It does not take long for her to arrive back at the Burnsides home; she dismounts her horse in a moment, barely has the presence of mind to hand him off to a groom before running for the house and bursting through the door -
“Goodness, Lup!” Julia cries, starting up out of her chair, “What on earth is the matter -”
“My brother,” she says desperately, “Have you - have you received any correspondence from my brother, anything at all?” She is panting, and her brain seems half torn apart - she cannot seem to piece two thoughts together in sequence. Everything in her mind is screaming, it cannot be, he would have told me -
“Why yes,” Julia says, her brow furrowed, “I was going to tell you, a letter came just today while you were out-” she gestures to a it - a simple rectangle of paper on the desk by the door and Lup snatches it up, leaving the room and running up the stairs without another word, heedless to Julia’s calls behind her -
She whips around the door and slumps against it as it shuts, breathing heavily, and yes, there on the envelope, Taako’s handwriting, his loose, looping scrawl, and Lup should have suspected something - why didn’t she write, why didn’t she demand he write her -
She tears the envelope open and there, inside -
*~*~*~*
Dearest Lu,
I hope you are not too angry with me upon reading further in this letter. I hope, too, that the news I am about to impart to you has not already reached you through other means. Please believe me when I say that I had no intention of keeping you in the dark. Sometimes gossiping tongues move more quickly than the post, and that I cannot help.
The news is this: I have married. It is to a Mr. Kravitz Sinclair of Davenshire of ten-thousand pounds a year, though I beg that you believe me when I tell you that I think I would have taken him if he had not a penny to his name. I do not think, in all the kingdom, I could have found a man more perfectly suited to my character, young or old, bachelor or married, rich or poor.
We are gone to France at present - though I am half afraid the trip will make our marriage resemble an elopement even more than it already does - but then, who could argue with an elopement between two eligible, land-inheriting bachelors? Tostaada is too ancient and senile, as you well know, to say anything of consequence to that effect, and Kravitz is so rich that his reputation is beyond tarnish. All that’s left to consider is his mother, and he has assured me she will be more than happy to hear of our connection - but I am neglecting what I meant to say. We are gone to France, and shall be returned in two months, at which time I implore you to pack your things and come to Davenshire to live with us. I have hardly seen Kravitz’s estate for more than a moment, but it is everything you could wish - large and beautiful and far enough from everything that we need never be bothered again if we do not wish to be. He has likewise expressed an eagerness that you should join us there and wishes me to tell you how greatly he anticipates making your acquaintance and becoming a true sibling to you upon our return from abroad. I think that you shall come to love him as much as I do - or nearly, at least.
Before I conclude, I have news of a nature that might interest you as well, that of an old acquaintance of yours from last season. Who should have borne witness to my marriage but one Mister Barold Bluejeans, who happens to be neighbors to my husband. He was perfectly cordial during the ceremony, and even inquired after you upon our reintroduction. I hope you do not mind me relating to him how exceedingly well you are and how very many suitors you have knocking down your door. I will tell you he looked quite sour at that news, though in my opinion he was always of an unpleasant disposition; luckily we saw little more of him. I have no interest in passing time with the man who so shamelessly broke my sister’s heart.
Lulu, I know this news comes suddenly but I must assure you that I am happy beyond compare and I sincerely hope you can find it in your heart to be happy for me. I shall send you a letter when Kravitz and I return, at which point I beg you to make the journey to Davenshire, or I promise I shall come to Tostaada’s and drag you back with me myself. Do not imagine that I won’t.
Time and paper run short, sister, so I will simply say that I am, as always, lovingly yours,
