There is some sad shit that people do/say that really should just be squashed, right now.
1.) Person A compliments Person B: "Hey babe, you look hot."
Person B responds with the acknowledgement of that fact: "I know, right?"
Person A responds: "Nah, you're actually ugly"
That sounds completely illogical, but I wouldn't be making this stuff up if it didn't happen. For real, check it out here. It's so messed up, so completely backwards and messed up that I can't even go on. It's sad that people who acknowledge their greatness and don't shy away from things that make them stand out are automatically judged for being confident.
2.) Person A asks Person B out: "Hey babe, wanna Netflix and chill?"
Person B politely declines: "I can't, I'm busy this weekend."
Person A responds: "Fuck you, you're ugly anyway."
It seems a little dramatic, right? I know, rejection is hard! But there is a much more graceful way to handle it. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes, here. It's so obvious that you were rejected and are lashing out...don't make it worse for yourself!
3.) Person A sends a message to Person B: Hey
Person B doesn't answer immediately, Person A persists: Hey, Hello, WTF? Ur ugly anyway
Why do people feel entitled to an answer, and immediately, nonetheless. These are just a few of the millions of examples on the interwebs: here. This has actually happened to me. The struggle is real. People are not required to answer, and they probably have good reasons if they don't. It's OK if someone wants to not respond to you. No one owes you anything. It's also OK if someone takes a little while to respond. I know I'm busy and sometimes take days to get back to people. It's not one of my best qualities, but it doesn't mean I don't want to respond. If you freak out, you just lose your chances. Also, see point #2.
I apologize for finding what seems to be mostly men being assholes to mostly women. I recognize that this is a problematic stereotype, but these were the ones that were easy to find. It was more difficult to find women being assholes to men (or at least harder to identify, I'm also full of gender-normative assumptions on this one). I did find this one, but I have no idea what the dude said to these people before, and I have a feeling at least a few of the texts he left out were probably problematic, too.
Let's pretend that all these examples are completely gender neutral, because it doesn't matter what your genitals or your gender expressions are, you shouldn't treat people like that. Rejection can hurt, I get it. We are all big kids here (or maybe not, but we are learning to be). If you need to reject someone, you can be gentle. If you are being rejected, also, don't be like those people. We can all do better.
Some people cite the 1st Amendment when they are generally being douchey. Their favorite comeback when someone calls someone's poor behavior out: "It's a free country, I can say what I want." So, let me clarify something...Freedom of speech: "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press"
True. In fact, there is a constitutional protection put in place so that people can say mostly anything (sans threats) without having any legal consequences. However, freedom of speech does not entitle a person to be a total jerk without suffering any social consequences. Just because a person is legally allowed to say things does not, in fact, mean that they should say those things. There is nothing stopping that person from being a sexist, racist, person-hating bigot, but it also means that I (or anyone) do not have to listen to them or choose to respect what they say or publicly defend their words solely because it was their right to speak them. I have a right to say whatever I want right back, but I will probably just walk away because most likely we will get into an altercation that has no good ending.
Freedom of speech also does not give someone social liberty to be unkind towards others. Yes, they are legally allowed to say mean things to other people, but it is still totally not OK if they do, and people can choose not to be around them. Or, all the total creeps who hate people can hang out together and say whatever they want. However, when said person wants a favor from polite society, like a job or any sort of personal favors, they may be on their own (or on their own with their people-hating group of jerks who probably won't help because they're jerks, too).
Congress cannot pass laws against assholery, but people have every right to filter the kinds of people they keep around in their lives. So, don't be those people. And if you never question if you are one of those kinds of people, there is a chance that you might be (and probably have not even read this far, so I'm preaching to the choir, if you're still reading).
