As someone that converted to Roman Catholicism back in 2018/2019, having primarily grown up in an atheist household. And as someone that is now currently undergoing the process of inquiring into Orthodoxy:
Converting to a faith or changing denomination or questioning your faith is always going to feel scary. There is never going to be a time where it feels like the perfect moment. There are always going to be doubts and feelings of uncertainty, and a voice in your head telling you that you shouldn't do it, sometimes there might even be a lot of pain involved. But that doesn't mean that you're doing the wrong thing.
Prayer to me felt so foreign and strange to me, for such a long time. But it didn't always stay that way. Attending Church for the first time felt terrifying, but you do get used to it and you do begin to feel like this is something you belong to. Reading Scripture and other theological texts was such a challenge, I didn't know where to begin, and I was often terrified that I was 'reading it wrong'. But that feeling doesn't stay around forever.
As much as traditions of the Church might be unknown to you, and as much as you might feel an outsider for not knowing them. Over time, you do begin to learn about them more and feel more comfortable participating in them. You're not always going to be on the outside looking in. And if you've been in this position, and now find yourself within the Church, you can be such a strength and a comfort to those also entering into the Church. Never be frightened to admit that you were a convert, or to admit that at one point you were a cradle Christian that didn't know anything about Christianity, or to admit that you've ever questioned your faith. There are so many people that can benefit from your experiences.
If you don't know where to begin with coming to the faith, then reach out to a local Priest. If you don't know who to turn to with questions about doubts in your faith, then reach out to your Priest. The best time to start that journey is today, not in some hypothetical future where everything is perfect. Send that email off to the Priest with your questions about the faith. Put aside all of your excuses, and make those first steps in your journey.
