DISCLAIMER: A lot of projection/personal musings and headcanon . I made it the fuck up
a Lot of jumping points BUT this idea started when i was thinking abt codes/ciphers... sorta in conjunction w the escape room collab but also when i was little, my younger brother was super into ciphers/cryptography so i kinda learned abt it in tandem w him. and i was like Waiiiit this sounds essential ASF to be a detective!!1 (<- not actually sure bc i didnt google anything. Its ok its just an insane delusion
ofc we got tuxedo crocus frm the escape room collab (it's relevant bc its the last time we ever get to see him!!!!! and he's cracking codes!!!! Woooow (connecting 0 dots)) and baby crocus
this is HIGHKEY just projection but i think, at least for me, growing up i was like NOT allowed to draw. and it was highly looked down upon like starting from when i was like, 10-11 (like i should have grown out of that phase by then basically.) so as a form of rebellion i'd draw wherever possible: margins of books, backsides of things, just hiding my drawings wherever i could. the act of drawing was important to me, but also i had a really childish want for people to see what i drew. so i'd always consciously draw with the thought that someone would see it, eventually, and maybe notice my emotions, but as time passed i knew full well that wasn't happening
so i think remi, in the same vein, would Still Write, even though it was highly disapproved of. but maybe out of fear/insecurity, he would transcribe his writing through complex code. and maybe, if someone cared enough, they'd patiently break through the cipher, and read his stories. of course, remi tells himself the code is to make it specifically so no one reads his work, but i think he really WANTS someone to do it. because that means they really care, they really want to see what he created, they want to read his work.
in the crocus household, of course no one's doing all that. it remains locked away forever... just like remi wanted.....? not really. i think then he realizes wait shit i DO want my work to be out there in the world. like i want eyes on my work. the act of writing/creating is good but i want it to touch other people's hearts too. Fuck
but he's already locked it away (metaphorically, somewhere deep in his heart.) so even when he returns to it as present day remi, he hesitates. maybe he doesn't remember the code anymore. maybe he doesn't care to figure it out. maybe he feels it would be a disservice to younger remi. some sort of sabotage, or betrayal.
im not sure abt other creatives but i used to be really hooked on "what would younger celeste think abt my art today" so i imagine remi would also have a similar struggle.... his younger self who agonized so hard over his writing, who eventually decided to lock it away because he lost hope..... would he be sad that present day remi isn't a writer? would he be relieved? how would he feel about where he is now? etc.
also, SORRY projecting AGAAAIIinn but i have always been So hooked on drawing. my love forever. so even though i was discouraged from drawing and forced 2 do a bunch of other Extracurriculars/studies i basically re-themed it in terms of drawing.... i.e. oh tennis is to strengthen my body so i can draw MORE (LOL) (It's true though)
so here i have remi recontextualizing his codes/ciphers as for his writing. It's a different type of magic if you think about it! sealing his fairytales away like an ancient artifact.. woah.. suddenly detectiveing is cool?!?!?
younger remi being referred to as "remington" bc hes under his family's thumb while present day remi is, of course, "remi" :)
"I tried to love it" is a double meaning btwn writing and detectivework. He tried to love detectivework, obviously, and kinda fell short - he's good at it, but the passion isnt there. Meanwhile, he also tried to love writing (still trying?)... the passion is there, but his skill/motivation/mental falls short.
Like i think he COULD make it as a writer but there's just too many roadblocks/obstacles from his past and present situation that impede him too much . OUGHHH REMI CROCUS
i think remi being proud of his ciphers but literally not being able to show his mother
purple to signify remi's fairytales. (i.e. whenever he writes w purple pen or uses the purple sticky notes its his writing-related.) KYAAAAAA!!! also i made up the delusion of crocus as a family being that olive green theme. Idk it just felt right. like esteemed.. knowledgable..... and also is opposite to remi's red shirt in his canon fit.... etc
oh yeah IF NOT OBVIOUS oops. the locked box is a metaphor … bc i wasn’t about to come up w a cipher. i imagine it’s all written in plain sight - in a notebook or binder - just gotta be decoded. but present remi can’t even dare to open the cover. does he remember the code? does he not? which answer is more damning? he’s not willing to find out.
