"I Didn't Ask For This" -- WIP I'll probably never finish lmao
The papers sure as hell weren't lying when they mentioned to take caution in the Megaplex's vast hallways; you knew right off the bat that the only reason you weren't lost already was the man to your left, who towered over your smaller frame rather intimidatingly. He was clutching papers with a sickeningly cheerful expression and chattering on about something, but you couldn't quite hear him over the roaring crowd in the background. It was another busy day, a Monday, and by the sound of it, you were sure some big event had been scheduled. God, how you hated noisy people and their spoiled children. The employee said something about the sign-in office, but you couldn't really make it out, and that was apparently all he really had to say before moving on to a quieter section, pointing out design features, S.T.A.F.F bots' designs, and the occasional exciting Glamrock that passed by. You internally squealed because you knew you'd maybe have the honour of fixing up their endo- and exoskeletons and getting to be elbows deep in all the exciting tech FazCo had to offer. Well, you were excited until he stopped in the most unexpected place. Squeals and shrieks filtered out from two red double doors that led to the Superstar Daycare Pick-Up, and your stomach churned. This was the only place left to explore, and he'd still not assigned you a job yet. Something clenched in your gut as he opened the doors, grinning and beckoning you further in. Begrudgingly, you followed. Seriously, if you didn't know better, you'd think it was Christmas and he wanted to show you all the elves he'd captured from how excited he looked.
"And the most important part of this entire establishment," he crooned, sounding a little too fervent, "the Superstar Daycare!"
You nodded, sticking your hands into your pockets and wincing as a particularly shrill shriek escaped through the propped castle-looking doors. "Cool," you supplied, trying not to sound uninterested or slightly repulsed by all the thoughts of sticky fingers and drooling mouths. "Uhm...I dunno why I needed to see the daycare, though, considering I should be...y'know...doing maintenance stuff, and not babysitting?"
"Oh, but you will be doing maintenance." The guide's eyes sparkled, almost dangerously. Your skin crawled and you felt slightly insecure under his gaze. "The daycare attendant has been having a couple hiccups here and there since we extracted the virus from its counterpart, and I'm sure you'll make a wonderful animatronic babysitter."
Your mouth opened and closed, then opened again. "But that's not maintenance, it's-"
"Sure it is." Again, the underlying threat in his voice made you highly uncomfortable. "You see a problem, you log it, you wait until the end of the day, and you fix it. Simple. Plus, I'm sure it would adore the help in the daycare; it's pretty busy on a daily basis you know."
You were sure you did know, but you really didn't want to say or do anything that gave any indication that you were on board with your assignment. You couldn't believe you signed up for a child-free job...just to be a babysitter for- oop, you guessed it, children. Oh, and a robot that would probably treat you like a kindergartener. Lovely. You ground your teeth and glared at the not-so-positive-now-that-you-thought-about-it employee with immense distaste. This was the only offer he was giving you, and you really needed the money.
"Fine," you managed to say without growling, "how do I start my...job?"
He clapped, brightening up immediately back into that faux-genuine cheer. "Oh, I knew you'd come around! Come, let me introduce you to your little project!"
You shuffled along behind him as he strode over to the door and opened it all the way, calling out in a loud and jubilant voice laced with barely-noticeable poison. "Oh, Sunny~! We have a new friend for you!"
The children all stopped their activities as the voice carried its way to the back of the daycare and into the audio processors of the daycare attendant. You watched a haloed head pop out from behind a play structure, emotes clicked on to display the bot's excitement as it spotted you. Even from an entire daycare away, the thing seemed huge. You weren't sure how children didn't run from the damn thing in fear; it was that tall. It slowly got to its feet, bells jangling and sun rays twitching in bridled excitement.
"A new friend?" it asked, all but skipping closer and stopping nigh three feet from the door. You made a strangled sound and went to step back, but a firm hand on your back chilled you to your bones' cores and you froze. You nodded at the tall-ass animatronic and suppressed a terrified whimper, nodding.
"Y-yep," you managed, scooting forward a little to get the creep's hand off of you, "I'm a new friend, all right."
The animatronic's eyes scanned you carefully, and you weren't sure who you wanted away from you more; the overly cheerful, creepy jackass with his hand on the small of your back, or the golden retriever-energy animatronic who'd probably insist you join the games with all the icky children.
"I'm Sun," the animatronic said, grabbing your hand firmly without permission at all. "I can't wait to get the fun started, friend! Come on! I'll take their training from here, Mr. Twimbly."
The employee--Mr. Twimbly, you assumed--gave you the biggest of his smiles yet and waved as you were pulled away, into hell. Oh, boy. You were in for a lovely day.
Soft petals crushed between teeth.
I take small bites.
Conserve the buds;
The life.
Violets to start.
Snow white with lilac centres.
Indigo with canary accents.
All shoved into my mouth.
They tingle on my tongue.
Unpleasant.
I swallow.
Dandelions next.
Bitter, but sweet.
Powdery with unharvested pollen.
Only consuming the petals,
I throw the stems away.
Useless.
The milk stains my fingers,
Having escaped the wounded plant.
Dead Nettle fills my hungry fingers.
The flowers small.
Innocent.
New.
I start by consuming the leaves.
Velvety texture coats my tongue.
Hard to stomach.
But I do anyway.
The stem crunches, exploding with flavour.
Salty, but fresh.
Juicy.
The flower buds are left;
Lonely on their bare stubs of stem.
They're sweet.
Soft.
Scarce.
I hum as I swallow them down.
My stomach complains.
Even though these plants
All are edible.
Nutritious.
I mentally scold.
Not that that will do anything.
I stare out across the field
So full of flowers I'll consume.
Edible or not.
I mean.
Maybe if I eat them all.
I'll be pretty on the inside, too.
...
Time to get to work.
The phone won’t stop ringing. Every time, “Hello??” Static, screaming. Dial tone. Every time I pick it up a wave of nausea passes over me, and my eyesight blurs. I’ll find myself back in the armchair by the fireplace, staring at the ringing phone. Every time the screaming gets more and more distorted, and the static sounds more like growling. Every time it feels like a clawed hand is inserting itself into the side of my head and yanking out a piece of my sanity, until there isn’t any left.
A noise on the stairs…?
My brother walks down with a confused look across his face, stopping at the bottom and staring at the chair.
“Are you letting the phone ring on purpose or-?”
He stops short when I turn around to look at him. A grin stretches across my face and a wild look settles itself in my eyes. I glance behind him at the mirror hanging behind him, at the base of the stairs; I look absolutely insane. It's sort of funny. I flick my eyes back to his unsettled face. In my lap, sits a knife that I grip, ever so daintily. He clears his throat softly and starts to head back up the stairs.
“I mean, okay, rough night or whatever…jeez-”
My sanity finally yanks its last tendril from my brain as I leap up from the chair and throw the knife. He shouts out as it sticks in the wall next to him, leaving a small cut on his cheek. A giggle escapes my lips as I walk towards him, and he turns and sprints up the stairs.
“Better hide!” I hear myself say in a high pitched, doll like voice. I climb the stairs behind him, pulling the knife from the wall. As I reach the top, I stand dead silent, listening out for any noises. A shift in the boards…or breathing…or something to point me in the direction of my brother…who’s been nothing but horrible to me since we were young. A thump comes from the hallway closet. I silently pick my way over to the hallway closet, and fling it open, stabbing down with the knife blindly.
(Did I get him-?)
God, how I hate reflective glass.
It's the opposite of clear.
It shows back reality,
When I want to keep wishes near.
I wish I were better,
I wish I were good.
I wish I were mentally here;
I wish I were fully understood.
Who am I?
I ask, staring at my hands.
Who am I?
Why can't I meet demands?
No one stays,
No one loves.
I've not had a single
Birthday without troves
Of tragedy,
Tragedy,
All of it tragedy.
Weeks apart, months in.
Days without lavishly
Bathing in stress,
Washing in mess,
Crying and crying
Living without success
Here, come close,
Snuggle into my chest.
Tell me all your problems;
I sense your distress.
Please, I'm your mother,
I should get to know these things.
Tell me, tell me,
Even if the truth stings.
What's wrong my dear?
What's troubling you?
Tell me, tell me,
What has you so blue?
Mother, with all due respect,
I don't believe I'll say.
Get your stained hands off me,
Please,
I don't want to stay.
Your arms hold no comfort for me,
Not now, like they did before.
And no longer should I believe
That my heart out to you shall I pour.
I've lately felt unsafe around you,
My mentality is slowly fraying.
I'm unsure how you, dear mother,
Aren't quite aware of
The distress I'm displaying.
Yes, you know it's there;
You have it all wrong.
It's not from the world.
It's been you all along.
I feel like an experiment;
I'm the oldest.
I'm growing, and growing,
And I've been burdened with the stress.
"Get a job,"
"Buy a house,"
"Get your license,"
With what water will these flames be doused?
I'm an experiment, dear mother,
This you can ascertain.
And I don't think I'll want to live with you.
Now, or ne'er, or again.
