#Remus commentating quidditch
"Hello everyone. Welcome to the 4th match of the season. Griffindor vs slytherin."
"Alright the match is starting. Players are in position. And WE'RE ON"
"Chaser Mary MacDonald almost got hit by a bludger launched at her. Honesty, what the fuck are griffindor beaters doing? That's like their only job." Everyone can hear sirius' fuck you on that.
"Oo, griffindor seeker has spotted the snitch. She's going for it. She's going to get it. And.. she's a lump on the ground. Honestly McKinnon, you can see the bloody snitch from half way through the pitch but you can't see the ground in front of your FUCKING FACE"
"god that must've hurt. YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT AVERY-"
"Any ways back to the game. Where is that fucking quaffle".
"Seems like james potter has finally took a break from swooning over slytherin seeker black and is speeding towards the goals with the quaffle."
"Let's see if slytherin keeper dolohov has the skill to block the goal or if he's just a useless dick".
"AND TEN POINTS TO GRIFFINDOR. That just proves that dolohov *is* a useless dick"
"McKinnon spots the snitch again. Black would've too if he wasn't so busy staring at james thighs. Like man we know how good they are, but FOCUS ON THE FUCKING GAME. Honestly you both are pathetic".
"REGULUS BLACK HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, 150 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN."
"slytherin wins, yay I guess. Looks like he took those words personally.
"Anyways griffindor lost, that's gotta suck".