#renaissance thinker

[wonderfish]

I don't know how people make peanutbytter and jelly sandwiches with knives, how the hell are y'all making them with knives?? Terrible, awful, I just use a goddamn spoon. You use a knife and you ain't getting any jelly or jam or preserves or whatever you're using on that bread, and you know it. Just use a spoon. "Oh but the peanutbutter will stick in the spoon bit" use the back of it. The back of the spoon. Or don't, because why are you complaining about a spoonful of peanutbutter? Just eat it. Eat the peanutbutter and then you have more peanutbutter in a sandwich that actually has enough jam to taste over the bread. Congrats

[wonderfish]

So the 8th graders always do this big marble machine project as their "mid-terms" and last year my sister and her friend got the best grade and so the teacher kept it as one of the 5 she has for examples right ok well today my sister got called down to that classroom and was like "wtf what's goin on" and the teacher points to one of this years projects that these two 8th graders just handed in and she looks at it and it's literally just her old project spray-painted black and one of the girls starts crying

[wonderfish]

great idea #32

I'm gonna start carrying around a flask full of coffee and occasionally just glare into the distance with experienced disdain for like a good 5 minutes then take a hard swig like I'm trying to drown out the memories of a long-forgotten war