#rere rambles

[petroltogo]

currently working on the next part of the flip a coin verse and i suspect i seriously underestimated how many strands and perspectives i want to fit into that beast. but slow progress is progress. if there are any povs you‘d like to see in that part, let me know! i can’t promise anything but my outline is still pretty flexible right now

[tonystarktogo]

today for some reason inspiration struck me and i just scrolled through my embarrassingly full inbox and started answering random old asks that piqued my interest.

but i didn't post those answers. nope.

because in that moment self-doubt joined the conversation being all "hey, you're probably gonna drop off the face of tumblr for months after this one single time where you spam everyone who still pays attention to this blog and no one wants that" so i saved those responses as drafts instead.

because what is life without insecurities and self-made problems?

[deanwinchestertogo]

So I watched Venom on Friday and of course I loved it but I also had this moment of ‘Holy Shit This Could Be Dean And Cas’ when Eddie and V first started talking and now I cannot unsee it

[petroltogo]

It’s done.

About 42’000 words split in 7 chapters.

Somehow I’ve managed to finish writing the last part of [this could’ve been] a villain’s grand master plan in these last two and a half weeks.

I still have to edit everything, which will be a small nightmare, but doable so regular updates are a thing that will happen from now on.

Next chapter will be up this Friday and after that I’ll post a new one every week.

In the meantime would you be interested in snippets and cut parts?

[petroltogo]

In case anyone still checks on this dusty old blog: yes I’m alive and still plan to continue my various works. I did however take a (longer than anticipated) break from writing because there’s been a lot going on these last months and, frankly, I didn’t have the energy to be creative.

Lately though things are finally calming down and this last week I’ve been working on the next chapter for [this could’ve been] a villain’s grand master plan.

Still got a couple thousand words to go, but it’s looking good.

And by ‘good’ I mean characters that were supposed to be cameos at most are taking over entire scenes yes Chrome, I’m looking at you but what else is new.

[petroltogo]

Fun fact about the flip a coin [head for villain, tail for hero] 'verse: I didn't plan to continue it.

Sure, I vaguely considered writing a oneshot or two for certain scenes set in an unspecified future moment, but that was it.

Why? Because the fourth installment brought politics into play. Bel and Hana brought politics into play. Their revelations have consequences with the potential to reshape the entire landscape this AU is set on. Consequences that will affect other characters' future choices, opportunities and challenges.

And I had no clue what these consequences would be.

So I didn't write them. I ended the fic on a point I was satisfied with and called it a day.

Until this last week.

And listen, it was a busy week. There was a lot going on at work, most of it not creative, and in my free time I had a lot of social engagements I usually try to avoid during the week and I was reading a friend's master thesis to give them feedback on it ASAP. So, I was busy. Didn't help that it was unbearably hot, temperature-wise.

I was not in the mood to be productive.

Which was apparently what my mind needed to decide, on my way back home around 6pm -- still too hot to be bearable -- to have, I don't even know what to call it, a relevation?

I'm no stranger to plotting. But it's rare that I sit in an empty train compartment, clothes sticking uncomfortably to my skin, an almost empty water bottle by my side, and just see everything unfolding right in front of my eyes.

What response Hana's action will provoke from Vongola and in return from the public. The backlash those responses will cause. Xanxus' choices when faced with the fallout. Tsuna's choices. The way everyone's decisions come together, feed off each other and eventually even tie back to the very first part of this series and just...

I was stunned.

Metaphorically.

Physically I was typing that stuff down like crazy on my phone, while desperately wishing I had my laptop on hand because I could've typed faster on a keyboard, hoping to get everything written down immediately because there's nothing worse than forgetting a flash of inspiration.

And I managed. I mean, it's not perfect. I've already gone over the notes multiple times, have added and changed some parts and will probably delete others. But.

I managed.

There's a very real chance that [this could've been] a hero's resolve will have two more sequels (two because as per usual I have no self-control). The first one should have six chapters. It already as a title, chapter titles and even a summary and I'm so freaking excited about this I just can't stop talking about it.

Which may or may not be the sole reason of writing this post. And so that I can look back on this later because sometimes I forget how much fun writing these fics is.

Moments like these are a wonderful reminder.

So yeah, if there are still people following this blog who enjoy the flip a coin 'verse, there is an actual chance now that it will be continued soonish. Please squeal with me.

As a counter-argument: Instead of writing that first chapter like a person obsessed I wrote this post. So, you know. Maybe don't celebrate just yet.

[petroltogo]

Let's talk flip a coin 'verse because I finally figured out what's going on with Takeshi in this world and there's no way any of it is gonna make it into the current (or even the next, probably) instalment but I need to write it down somewhere:

Takeshi is born to a super father with a reputation dangerous enough that when he lays down his sword for the sake of his family, no one is willing to provoke him into picking it back up again, and a civilian mother with a sharp tongue and a kind smile.

But what defines Takeshi's life more than his parents' happy marriage and calm, largely uneventful life is that he is born human.

It's rare for a child of a super to not be super as well. Rare but not impossible. And if Tsuyoshi breathes a sigh of relief at the revelation, well, a father can be forgiven for not wishing to burden his child with the bloodshed he carries in his veins.

[For the Yamamotos are gifted killers, always have been. What few people ever have paid enough attention to realize is that gifts aren't genetically inherited and yet every Yamamoto proves himself capable beyond what a super's enhanced abilities can explain and so maybe gift has never been the right word for it.]

"Be sure, very sure of what you do before you father a child," Tsuyoshi's father told him back when he was young and far too confident, high on the bloodlust that lives in his heart. "Blood wins out. They'll be a natural born killer and no lie you tell yourself will change that."

But Takeshi is as human as they come and Tsuyoshi thanks the gods every day for the miracle they have granted him, a loophole he hadn't known he was searching for.

Takeshi is seven years old on the way back from the grocery store with his mother when they get accosted by three robbers. He is seven years old when he grabs a small stone from the ground and throws it with deadly accuracy at one of the man's heads.

Takeshi is seven years old the first time he kills someone.

[They'll be a natural born killer, whispers Tsuyoshi's father into his mind that night and who says that humans can't be monsters too?]

It's a game Takeshi has been playing for as long as he can remember: look at a person he crosses on the street, a classmate, a customer of his parents and figure out the easiest way to kill them. He doesn't, of course, because his mother doesn't like the sight of blood and his father always says that murder is a cheap cheatcode and Takeshi doesn't like to cheat. But.

It takes effort, is the thing. Not killing doesn't come natural to him.

After middling through highschool Takeshi gets a job as a salesman who maybe spends more time terrifying than charming his customers into buying anything they don't need. Only the ones who annoy him though.

[Sometimes he looks at the news playing out on a nearby screen where they show footage of another violent battle between Vongola Inc.'s forces and a supervillain that went too far and Takeshi watches them. Thinks of how easy it would be to kill that villain and kill them better than the supposed professionals do.]

[Sometimes Takeshi hates being just human.]

Takeshi is twenty-five when his mother is killed in one of the super riots and a paper-thin leash he hadn't even been aware of holding him back snaps for good. He is twenty-five when he meets a man with eyes like cracking flames who gives him something to kill for. But that's a story for another time.

[petroltogo]

i'm stuck in a creative slump right now and hoping that some prompts will inspire me to get back into writing. so if you'd like to see any additional scenes, sneak-peaks, alternate paths or outtakes from one of my AO3 fics, let me know!

[this includes older fics that i haven't continued in a long time as well as completed works]