Whaaaaat was that fic (from almost a decade ago) that you co-wrote about Derek the police officer and Stiles the donut shop owner??? For the life of me I can't remember what it's called or where it's posted.
You notice the dude pushed his belly out after that first pat, before Tyler pulls his hand away?? And his drunkish smile go from goofy to fuuck me why is his hand leaving? That very serious change of mood where it's like... all fun and games until a stuffed belly gets touched lol
lolol i very nearly forgot these gifs existed god fuckin bless 😍
resiliencefa replied to your post “[[MOR] i’m a little worried recently because i know you shouldn’t...”
Head injury recently? Or maybe not enough activity so lack of blood flow to extremities causes numbness.
no head injuries here and i walk/play with my kids at work every day so i’m really confused but it could possibly be nerve damage?? i know earlier i had a dull ache happening behind my knee
I WAS GONNA CHOSE GROMMR PILE AND THE LAST GUY FOR SCOTT TOO!!!!!!!! also, totally not weird to chose your gf as Allison headcanon cuz she got an amazing shape, and hell if thats Allison too then go for it lmao
Ahaha yesssss!!! They’re so perf. & she does tho rite 😍ahh
Hey there beautifuls, I wanted to share my story, much like others’ stories, which also has some questions interspersed. Finding someone akin to your own life is always super special when it comes to things like ADHD. it means you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, or stupid, or weird (well i personally like being weird but some people dont so, yea), or etc. Validation is so very important to me, and that’s mainly because of my personality (Sagittarius-the living definition of it), but lots of my personality ties in with the great things about ADHD too.
Read More added due to length. -J
(this story is kind assbackwards so bear with me). Thanks to living with ADHD and no meds for so long, I became very attuned to my senses. Texture and sound are most important to me. Loving texture is also a huge part of my saggitarianism. But its even more important to being ADHD, really for reasons that suck. Pants suddenly feel really itchy and you need to run to the bathroom to itch the entirety of your legs for 3 minutes before the nagging sensation goes away, and you’re legs are near bloody if you weren’t careful…a loose shirt suddenly feels too clingy and the fabric is the scratchiest of cottons…a ticking from a clock 20 ft away is all you can focus on during a meeting with your boss…not having something to play with makes you jittery and spastic when you’re sitting down or standing in place….blankets, hundreds of blankets piled on top of you is just the best cocoon of comfort and squishiness even though its not squishy at all….dubstep is your favorite genre now because of all the different beats and waves and synchs and harmonies working together and dancing through the measures…
I found that being alone in the middle of the woods was the best, coolest way to hone my skillz. And by skillz I mean the incessant rambling of sounds and thoughts and hums and hos and movements and restlessness that happen because of ADHD.
In the woods, I could hear everything at once and not feel bad or rushed about it. I let myself get accustomed to the sounds, and when I was ready (i felt a very particular sort of equilibrium at the ‘ready’ stage), I began to imagine my hands as harp strings, vertically and horizontally floating in my head. Like in Fantasia, the Disney movie/musical. I heard a sound I liked, and plucked it from the bunch, and really focused on the lyrical quality to it. What doing this, over and over again, helped me do was to have an eye for sounds and an ear for texture. I began to learn the sound a leaf makes rustling in the wind, and whether it had rained or not because of it, and because of that sound, I could guess texture. I heard a bird call, but confused as to what direction. So I focused on nothing but the bird, determined to find the answer I was looking for, thus remembering how sounds bounce through the air, and if something is blocking the way, how the sound moves around that object. It was just the best thing, to be able to focus on those singular sounds for once and truly hear them.
And then the smells came. Rainy leaves, upturned soil, broken tree limb,..what it took to find these was my eyes, not my ears or nose. I recognized the sight, and took in the scent. By knowing a scent, you know the sight, and by knowing the sight, you know the sound, by knowing the sound, you know the touch.
It was all sensory, and I learned it in the least conventionally average way a person without ADHD would understand it. They didn’t even know what they were missing out on.
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I believe I was diagnosed around 7 years old. First grade, so whatever age that was. And it was the most depressing time of my life, you don’t even know.
I didn’t know why I was forced to see a therapist for an hour, that mom and I drove 3 hours to see. He just asked me weird questions and then mom and I drove the 3 hours back to go home.
I don’t know why I was taking Ritalin pills 3 times a day. All I know is that I got made fun of for it, and that made my life hell. Every lunch hour, I was called to the office to take my pills, and everyone would laugh at me and say things. What? I don’t remember. I just knew I was ashamed and embarrassed and I didn’t want to take them anymore.
Part of me thinks it was because the pills were a ‘your a bad kid’ signifier. To me, back then, I mean. All I know is mom was always yelling at me, and I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong….she’d say ‘do you need to take more pills?!’ and something in me would break everytime, and I’d scream no at her, and start crying. I didn’t want to take pills. I wanted to be me, not what they made me. They made me feel weird and different from everyone else in the worst way, like a freak who needed to be kept chained. I know that sounds excessive, but I had some pretty strong feelings about those pills….
But, for most of my childhood, I didn’t know I even HAD ADHD. No one told me. I just thought there was something really wrong with me, because I was the only kid whose teacher had to write in a notebook at the end of everyday, to tell my mom how I was in school. I was in 3rd grade then, for the notebook. They said to not ever look in that purple notebook, so I didn’t. I didn’t want to be an even worse kid than I already was.
My mom kept that notebook. My sister and I had 'awards boxes’ when we were in school. We kept all the things we were proud of in there. Drawings, tests, stories we wrote, achievements the school awarded us with, sports ribbons, etc. My mom decided to put that purple notebook in mine. It’s still there. I’ve read it twice, and I have cried every single time, because more often that not I was described as the 'bad’ kid. And it absolutely humiliating what my teacher would say about me. Nothing was insulting, it was just…the clearly hadn’t known how to handle me properly, so I was always the bad guy. A fucking 9 year old or whatever the hell age I was, I suck at math ok? A fucking 9 year old, and I was the uncontrollable bad guy. Go figure that one out.
Mom would get tired of me asking her more than two questions when she got home from work….so she told me to go read the dictionary one night. So I did. I read all the way until E, after 3 days of being able to focus on it, and then I forgot about it. coloring books helped, I liked colors a lot but everyone would get mad if I colored outside the lines…so from then on the rest of my childhood was spent trying to be patient with others first, with myself second, and to always be friendly and polite and quiet and obedient. I tried, so so hard, to be quiet and patient with myself, but you know how well that probably worked out (fyi, it didn’t).
I am absolutely positive these experiences shaped me into how I handle my ADHD now. And I am absolutely 100% certain the pills I was on when I was kid had had a huge impact on my state of being. I was severely depressed, so much so that in 5th grade I was actually entertaining the idea of the world without me. it wasn’t serious thoughts, not really, but I just was convinced everyone would have been so much happier without me.
By 6th grade I was off the pills, I hadn’t seen the therapist in probably two years because we couldn’t afford him for more than a few sessions I think. My mom would sometimes threaten me, scare me into behaving the way she wanted me to, with the pills. She would say 'do you wanna be put back on pills?!“ and i’d start crying, just like when i was little, and say no at her…
But also for a few years, I had sports to keep my mind and body entertained. During the summer I biked with my best friend, the neighbor girl, and my sister a lot. I did volleyball during fall, basketball during winter, and track in spring. So my energy, my focus, was on those, had something to attach itself to FINALLY. And I calmed down a bit.
I was a smart kid too. Top of my class every year until 9th grade when some new kids came, then I was 3rd in the class. I got all A’s, all Passes, some Bs but not many. I got into National Honor Society by 10th grade because of all my extracurricular activities and volunteer work. I graduated HS at 3rd in my class, but I received more grants and scholarships than any other student including the valedictorian and salutatorian. I had quite the past to be proud of academically.
At home, not so much. At home my little sister made fun of me constantly, saying I had no common sense all the time, even when it didn’t make sense to say it! What made it worse is my mom would say it to.
I would have questions about things, like cooking or random things about life, and either her or my sister’s retort would be 'huh? WHERE is your common sense?! How do you not know that by now!?’ Good lord, even right now typing this im getting ridiculously frustrated remembering them saying that to me, as if I’m automatically supposed to know something by a certain age. As if it just MAGICALLY happens, without any instruction or help….fuckin bullshit i tell you.
They really fucked me up, my sister especially. She always seemed like she hated me, couldn’t stand to be around me…and I never understood why. Recently, my stepdad told me that she was jealous of me. Of my good grades, my friends, always being on prom court and homecoming court, my outlook on life. Which didn’t make any sense, because I was NEVER competing with her, I just wanted to be friends with her…She still barely tolerates me, but since she’s in the military and forced to be away from family, she respects me a bit more which is nice. But its walking on eggshells with her all the time…
I digress. I haven’t taken pills since I was little, and I hate the idea of taking pills. Natural remedies, sure. But pills? No. No no no nono NO never. I didn’t even like taking birth control pills!! The conformity, the meaning or concept behind those pills, that I was something that needed curing? I didnt not approve at all. I have self diagnosed myself with OCD, however minor. I can’t afford a real diagnosis, even though i would really like to be diagnosed since the process is so much more efficient now. I know I don’t need to but I want to. i want to know for certain what I have and how to cope, especially the OCD part, that gets a little bad-kinda-crazy. How do I get diagnosed by a health professional when I have no money for it? No, no insurance either. The OCD isnt terrible, it mainly just happens when I’m stressed and I come home to a pigsty. Dishes everywhere, dirty clothes everything, laundry not folded. its essential to my mental health that if ive had a stressed (unorganized, long, annoying, back and forth, confrontational, etc) day at work, I want to come home to the exact opposite. That doesn’t always happen and it gets me even more worked up and my OCD kicks into overdrive and EVERYTHING needs to get cleaned that same night or I won’t feel good or accomplished.
Task lists help a lot. Theres a weird sense of satisfaction when crossing things off and seeing a bunch of lines thru letters in a short period of time. Travel and gaining knowledge and letting my passion out in anyway possible (sex, art, singing, dancing, debating, writing, etc) is also helpful. Don’t lock anything up.
Music helps even more. Steady beats, soft voices, easy to focus on whats in front of my eyes and not whats in my ears. If there’s no more than two things going on, I’ve learned, you have a 50% chance of staying focused. Its either listen to the music or let it become backdrop and do what you need to get done. The hard part about that is getting to the point where your actually sitting down with your work in front of you and starting.
My ADHD and the way I handle it, with a strong love for anything sensual, has helped me frame my future in a creative way. I love art, I love music, I love dance, theater, travel, helping people and especially helping the world. I love CREATING things that inhibit awe and wonder. I am a creator. That is what I chose to be. I can build things, make them 3D and BIG and provide the ability to walkthrough ideas in real life, rather than looking at a beautiful painting on a wall or an idea on paper or in a computer. I make worlds to exist in and enjoy yourself in and be alive in!!! My passion for ancient and old and sensual creates an avenue for enlightenment on the broadest scale of architectural ingenuity. I have the ability to help so many with the creation of a structure. That’s what ADHD has given me.
I am an Architectural Designer, graduated with Bachelor of Fine Arts in Interior Architecture and Design for 8 months now. I have a job in my field (doesnt pay much for a part timer) which is 67% better than the national average. So fuck everyone who says you need to get a job in your field directly after college. Its hard as shit to do, and I’m a lucky duck whose interviewer knew how hard it was for him to get a job out of college. So don’t get down on yourself if you don’t have a job in your field yet. There’s plenty of chances, and plenty of other things to do that you love in the meantime.
I have loved my personality, owned myself, since I was 16. I love who I am, I love my silliness and quirks and how I deal with focusing. I have my mantras and my rituals to help me focus, and my systems I work into to keep my focused. I like me. Without medication. I want me as myself all the time, and if people can’t handle me, then they aren’t epic enough to be my friend (thats a partial lie, I know a lot of really epic people who have no urge to be better friends with me). My husband has been with me since junior year of high school, and he handles me and my awesome craziness the best way imaginable. He accepts it, doesnt try to change it, and sometimes he lets his goofiness out too.
But like, this is just my story. I didn’t overcome anything, I just adapted and handled it differently than others. I used my ADHD to my personal advantage, but lost a lot of things along the way that a lot of you still have because you take medication that works for you. I’m so proud and happy of all of us that have ADHD because we find ways that no one else can even imagine. We are spectacular beings, we are high all the time on nothing but our own bodies and the energy around us. We can connect with literally people of ALL ages, because we know the ridicule of childhood as an adult, and wisen for the better because of it. We’re analytical pricks that understand living better than anyone else.
Love ya dweebs. Sorry for the long read. I gotta go to bed lol Im exhuasted now.
I was diagnosed when I was little, prolly 1st grade, and I was forced to go on Ritalin. I hated it cuz it became a conforming deal with my mom (like she somehow made me feel absolutely terrible about needing to take pills just to be normal w/o actually saying anything), I was made fun of for it in school cuz I got called to the office where my pills were kept everyday. And mom threatened often to put me back on then pills even tho sothey used to make me a very malnourished and depressed 7 yr old
So now I despise the thought or even mention of me taking pills, even if they could help. I’ve utilized my ADHD to the best possible career that matched my personality, but it costs me a lot of relationships cuz its hard for me to control my tone, I end up sounding extremely defensive when I don’t mean to be. I figured out I have slight OCD. Im very analytical, only because I tried for so long to figure out what’s wrong with me. So now, I haven’t been to the doctor in a long time
Is there supposed to be a third part to this? If so, please re-send it. :) In the meantime, we’ll answer what we have.
It sounds to me like Ritalin was the wrong medication for you, and if you choose to go back on medication it is a good idea to try something different.
However, there are other treatment options out there, and you might want to explore those since you have such a bad history with medication for ADHD. I would also recommend looking into seeing a therapist or counsellor to talk about this and about your ADHD and possible OCD. If the person is not a psychiatrist, they are likely unable to prescribe medication so that will not be a problem for you.
Imagine your favorite character suddenly and magically coming under the following conditions: they have an enhanced sensory appreciation of any food in their vicinity, anything they eat they will metabolize and gain weight from within an hour, they have an endlessly elastic stomach, and they never get full or hit a limit (though they can still feel full).
Imagine seeking out any and all food that they possibly can - or being given any enormous amount. Imagine them stuffing themselves as fast as they can, eating and eating and savoring every bite. Imagine their stomach bulging, then swelling, spilling into their lap and spreading their thighs apart and pushing against the table as it grows, snapping and ripping at their clothing in an instant.
Imagine the changes that come as the weight gain starts. Their thickening thighs pushing under their belly, their softening arms and rounding cheeks and the slight roll of fat forming at their navel. But for all the food they’re digesting, they’re eating twice as much, and their stomach is expanding ahead of the rest of their body - so much so that they have to lean forward and stack their plates on it just to be able to reach them with any kind of ease. But this proves difficult as their magically-swollen belly weighs them down, distended with dozens of meals’ worth of food, and they lack the ability even to stand.
By the time they finish what they’ve been given, their belly is so enormously swollen that it completely fills the space between their spread, outstretched legs, extending just about to their toes, if not past. Said legs are now enormously thick, cradling and rubbing against the mass of their stomach, which their thick, pudgy arms cannot hope to reach around. They could easily eat more, but they have no hope of finding any more food until the rest digests. It’s a matter of waiting an hour, just to see how heavy they’ll be.
