Confessions of a Ranch Dressing Addict
My name is Matt and I am a user. When my drug is on the table, nobody else (or their plates) are safe. When I get a hankering for my drug I will go to extreme lengths to get what I want need.
I am not addicted to any conventional drugs, I'm addicted to ranch dressing: specifically restaurant ranch dressing. I make my ordering decisions based on what goes well with ranch dressing, and how good the ranch at a given restaurant tastes (in a pinch I will order based on aiolis & mayos).
Sometimes ranch dressing affects my life so I figured I would start make some of my addiction stories public-- as sort of a 'get it off my chest' confession.
I got married last year and everything is going great, I am in fact so happy in my new marriage that despite working out more than ever I am up about 10lbs on the scale-- although some of it might be muscle, some of it might also be ranch (and beer, we live in beercityUSA).
It was time to go on a diet-- and giving up ranch simply wasn't an option. It was easy enough to eat healthy at home, some smoothies for breakfast and the occasional veggie dish for dinner. But every day that I suppressed my true desire for restaurant ranch dressing the burning desire grew. Finally I caved-- I went to a new restaurant that I heard had great ranch, Manna Cafe in Grand Rapids. The ranch was the perfect temperature, consistency and had a slight dill flavor. Then it happened, my food was gone, some ranch was left and I was in a frenzy searching the table for anything dippable that was in my path-- think crumbs, fries of friends' plates, etc.
It was in this moment that I realized that I am not just a ranch aficionado... I am an addict.