so when I was deeply religious and indoctrinated to believe everything and anything under the sun about life was sinful except for worship, including music / dancing / drawing, I threw away a lot of my sketchbook drawings and deleted my online drawings of my DR self and OCs and my animations and deleted edits I found on tiktok and deleted my own nostalgic tiktoks that went back to like 2019 tiktoks 💔 all to please god or whatever the fuck they told me I was doing by erasing my identity. I literally became a shell of a human, but whatever
these days, deconstructed, I grieve a part of me that I erased from existence because religion took so much of me and I can't blame the psychosis I was in.. I regret the things I threw away and ruined and destroyed. Vulnerable parts of my childhood and life that I held dear, I was blinded by fear of hell and faith. I can only move from here. So I told myself: "I never deleted it." Referring to my own tiktoks or whatever. Edits, etc. Very lazily affirmed it. I think I'm not very into revision, but for this, I'll give it a shot. Just not now. Don't think I'll go all in yet.
But ....there's this one edit that's been killing me. I LOVED it so much. The audio choice couldn't be found anywhere else either. Tough luck. I remembered deleting it. I remembered going into the trash and permanently deleting it from there too. Gone, for good. To "stop listening to music through edits and sinning", I deleted it. I was so fucked up. I kept searching on tiktok to find the creator but it's an unpopular edit from early 2024, so I was screwed.
Tell me why..... I found it in one of my older Google photos account gallery??? I SWORE I deleted it all. I literally wiped out everything music, art, and my past to "start fresh for God's sake" and I found it!!!! It's just an edit, I know, but it's so crazy. It's revised! If I found this, I'd probably find others too because I affirmed! Even listening to it reminds me of life before religion fucking nerfed me.
ugh. I love loa. this is an itch I finally got to scratch. Listening to it, watching it. It seems so small to many, but it's big to me because of what it means. I think if I found this edit, I can revise to see my old things again. I still grieve, but nothing that can't be fixed! Circumstances don't matter. If I revise enough, I'll probably find my art show up on my bed. The way shit manifests is crazy, I wouldn't be surprised if I find it on the street or if my art and animation shows up in an old file. I don't know. The how isn't my concern. I just know that if I truly want this revised, I can do it. I did it. I'm God after all. The real one.
I remember the mystery of the sea
under an ink-black sky—no horizon
to be seen, limitless darkness;
a thick blanket of starless night,
suffocating.
How oblivious we were
there on our floating universe.
We thought of nothing
but our next pleasure,
our next constellation of flavors.
How quickly we could have slipped
into that bottomless deep
without a witness, the sound
of our bodies breaking the surface
lost in the churning of the ship's propellers.
Did we fall?
Did we lose our footing
on that shifting sea?
Sometimes I feel the water
rushing into my ears.
Sometimes I speak
and all you hear
is the chaos of the waves.
Written 6/6/2025
Revised 6/26/2026
this torrent of emotion could not be contained. | megumi x reader | NSFW | crosspost | revised
warning: jjk manga spoilers ahead!!!
summary: when you lost your former classmates nanami and gojo, you grieved in megumi's arms. now that he's inadvertently ended his own sister's life, he's grieving in yours.
themes: all individuals are consenting adults (18+), post-canon JJK, age gap (18/28), former-teacher!reader, porn with feelings, mild hurt/comfort, spooning, missionary, creampie, declarations of love
word count: 1.6k
At first, it was you who needed the company.
“Sensei.”
Fingers curled into the back of your shirt as he pressed his hot face into your collar. Something warm like tears ran down your skin right at your shared point of contact, sending chills down your spine. Your hands remained out by his sides, fingers spread wide from your initial surprise. This was so unlike him, and yet you couldn’t say that you didn’t foresee it.
“I’m sorry,” Megumi said, his voice wavering. “I don’t know what’s happening to me right now.”
Your tension immediately faded. Wrapping your arms around him, you closed your eyes and let the falling rain speak for you. Thunder overwhelmed his cries as he held you crushingly tight.
“It’s okay,” you murmured. “None of it is your fault.”
“The memories. It’s always me in my memories.”
“You had no choice. You were a prisoner in your own body.”
“I should have been stronger.”
“He targeted you because you are strong, Megumi. You couldn’t have predicted that this would happen.”
“Please, sensei, just…just stop trying to justify it. Please.”
He held you crushingly tight, pressing his face even further into your skin. Megumi hardly left you room to breathe with your lungs so full of him, but out of respect for his wishes, you remained silent. You listened as he sobbed in your arms like a child—the consequence of a man pushed too far for the last time. His iron-clad walls had been chipped for so long, but now they were beginning to crumble.
What could you do, but accept the oncoming flood? You were just one woman, and this torrent of emotion could not be contained. What were you to do, other than to gather up the pieces of that barricade and hope that one day, you might be able to put it back together again?
“I’m a monster,” he bawled. "My sister is gone."
Breath hitching, you had no choice but to bite your tongue.
These days, it wasn’t unusual for you to be found in bed with your student.
“I’m sorry.”
Megumi’s voice was a hoarse whisper into your chest. He sounded truly regretful, but didn’t budge even an inch to withdraw himself from your collective tangle of limbs. You, sleep-deprived from your worry, slowly blinked your tired eyes and shook your head.
“Don’t apologize. I told you I’d be here to support you no matter what.”
“I’m exhausting you.”
“Only when you insult yourself.”
“…I really am sorry, sensei.”
Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh. Rather bluntly, you said, “Stop wallowing in your pity, Megumi. If you want to help me sleep, then close your mouth and hold me properly.”
Silence fell between you both. You watched as Megumi slowly lifted his head, his dark eyes falling on yours. With a raised eyebrow, he looked absolutely lost.
Wordlessly, you rolled onto your side away from him. He hesitated, but you eventually felt his comforting warmth behind your back.
Your heavy eyelids grew heavier. In a soft voice, you said, “Wake me up in fifteen minutes.”
“…Sure, sensei.”
When you woke up, you were certain that multiple hours had passed.
“You had one job, Megumi,” you hissed. “Why on earth did you let me—?”
When your eyes met his, your voice caught in your throat. He didn’t look that much different than usual, an apathetic expression on the surface and some rather spiky-looking hair, but his face was so close. Not only that, but it was *handsome*.
You gawked at him. He blinked his long eyelashes, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.
You quickly broke eye contact. Feeling rather flushed, you attempted to kick a blanket off of yourself.
“Sorry, sensei. You just seemed like you needed the rest.”
“Don’t call me sensei when you’re in bed with me,” you grumbled. “And don’t assume you know what I need.”
After that, you attempted to break from Megumi’s grip, but it instead grew firmer. Face hot, you glared at the wall across the room as though that might change anything.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated gently. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
You softened like butter when he spoke to you so dearly. Pouting only slightly now, you nodded your head.
“Don’t worry, I’m not mad. I’m sorry for being childish about it.”
“Mm. That’s okay.”
“….Okay. Are you planning to let me go any time soon?”
“…I don’t really want to.”
Shocked by his honesty, you hardly noticed when he loosened the arm around your waist. He gingerly touched your shoulder before giving it a firm squeeze.
“Sensei—…hon…ey. Um…would it be alright if I spent the day with you?”
Your heart ached. With a heartfelt smile, you nodded.
“Don’t be silly, Megumi. You know you don’t even have to ask.”
He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but he could no longer stand to live without you.
“Oh, Megumi. You surprised me.”
The aforementioned man curled his arms around you as he buried his face into your hair. You smelled like expensive perfume and fruity shampoo, a delicate combination that was proving to be his favorite recently. With a deep inhale, Megumi filled his lungs full of you, letting go only when his brain mandated him to breathe again. He felt your hand on his arm, a warm touch against his cold skin.
“Have you been working outside?” you asked, your fingers stroking the back of his hand. “You feel like ice.”
“Just shoveling snow. You’re warm.”
“You…I told you not to worry about the driveway. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
“Well, if you change your mind, at least you can.”
“I don’t think my mind will be changing any time soon…but thank you for your help, nonetheless.”
“You’re welcome.”
A comfortable silence fell between you. Megumi watched from over your head as you continued to organize your agenda, his eyes glossing over the various time markers you had laid out for different tasks. You stuck to routines like no one else, and were often frustrated when others ran behind your schedule.
Megumi turned his eyes down to the pink-highlighted section towards the bottom of the page. Far beneath the column indicating the current date, you had written, 2000—Megumi.
A quick glance at your watch told him it was 1959. So he was right on time then.
“...I need a bath.”
As he spoke those words, his heart began to hammer against his chest like it was threatening to escape. His cheeks, still tingling from warming up after the cold, were both icy and hot, and he was grateful that you weren't facing his direction.
“...I need one too,” you murmured innocuously.
Neither of them had to say a word more.
“Sen—...honey.”
Near breathless, you still managed to laugh.
“You remembered what I said. I like that, Megumi.”
His red face grew even redder, but that didn’t stop those hands of his from squeezing you the way that they were. Delighted by his boldness, you cupped his rosy cheeks between your palms and gave him an encouraging kiss. When you pulled away, Megumi craned up towards you, his half-shut eyes focused entirely on your lips.
“Come back.”
Warmth sprung to your face as you observed his erotic expression. With a smile, you more than happily dove back down into his hot kiss.
Megumi’s hands grasped you tighter. Even as you maneuvered your hips unpredictably, his hold on you remained steady. Originally, you would have thought him too shy to even think of touching you there, let alone grabbing your ass while you two were at it, though you certainly couldn’t say that you were displeased.
When you could no longer hold your breath, you had no choice but to pull away from him. He lurched forward as if to catch your lips again, but quickly corrected himself. Panting raggedly, you gave him an appreciative nod.
“Megumi,” you whispered, “I’m getting a bit tired.”
His breath audibly hitched.
His cool and rational sensei had devolved into a whining mess beneath of him, and he couldn’t have been more enamored with you if he tried.
Your fingernails dug into his back like claws as you chewed your lower lip, muffling your voice. Megumi’s hands curled up into fists on either side of you as he throbbed between your thighs. Your arms and legs had him locked in with no chance of escape—exactly how he wanted it to be.
“Hey,” he murmured as it swelled within his core. “Stop biting your lip.”
You seemed to know exactly what he meant by that. As soon as you released your lower lip from between your teeth, Megumi caught it between his instead.
*“Mm.”*
He wasn’t sure if it was you or himself who had tried to speak, but the excited twitching between his legs had probably alerted both of you. Your grip on him grew even tighter, and with your approval in mind, he poured himself into you.
Your back arched. You fell back onto the mattress with an exhausted look on your face, your eyes focused between your legs. Megumi gently withdrew himself until your warmth no longer enveloped him.
Your chest heaved up and down with heavy breaths. Megumi wanted to kiss you again, but upon seeing you in such a state, hesitated.
“I’m okay, Megumi,” you whispered, looking like an angel as you laid there. “Just worn out.”
His heart skipped a beat.
“Sorry. I’ll let you catch your breath.”
He kissed your forehead before laying to rest beside you. Your hand searched for his, and with your fingers laced together, Megumi felt relaxed enough to say—.
“I love you.”
Your grip on his hand tightened as you let out a soft giggle.
“I love you too, Megumi.”
A/N: its lowkey hard for me to think of how megumi would refer to his s/o without using "y/n" cause i feel like he is not a pet names kind of guy... i hope the awkward "honey" made it clear that im trying to keep him in character xD
this is a revised version of two breaths walking [ch. 4]. the revisions were made for better reader immersion, so this post is recommended over the OG. if you liked it, please consider reading the full and leaving a kudos! (˶>⩊<˶) ♡
💖⋆°｡specialz sorcerers ⋆💖: @gabiwabi22
im working on a taglist! if you would like to be pinged whenever i post [jjk] x reader, please reblog and/or comment! for taglist removal, message me! (˶>⩊<˶) ♡
masterlist | ask | ao3 | more of this pair
Revision is SO fun, easy, and effortless to do! Revision is changing the past or an undesirable event that didn’t go the way you wanted it to. When we revise, we don’t only “change our memory of the situation” which I think is one of the biggest misconceptions. No, you literally change the past on how you wanted it to go. For example, If I got my phone taken, because of a heated argument with my Mom. I would immediately go in imagination and simply state, nope that never happened. I have my phone, what are you talking about I never got it taken. Just like that done, revised. You don’t have to keep persisting in the fact that it’s revised (which is of the reason I love revision soo much and don’t know why it constantly gets over complicated.) Whenever the thought comes to mind over the fact YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR PHONE. Remind yourself that you already revised it, therefore you have it already just because you said so. Don’t only think logical when manifesting too. You can revise traumatizing events to have never took place, something that happened 10 years ago, 1 minute ago, 3 weeks ago, ANYTHING.YOU.WANT. You guys there literally been success stories of people REVISING DEATHS. YES LITERALLY DEATHS of their loves ones, pets, ect. Now that is just so insane to me. Just goes to show the LAW IS 100% REAL. Whenever I get doubts I just go back to “people are literally revising deaths and you don’t think you can manifest xy and z?🤣😂” Literally anything is possible the world is you oyster and if in your reality you never wanted something to happen, IT NEVER HAPPENED. Happy Manifesting!💝💝
I recently found a series on YouTube that I have fallen in love with called Bionicle Revised, a fan made retelling of the Bionicle story with the pure focus on telling the story without the need of Marketing, so they change parts of the story generally for the better, but one thing I feel they missed out on was the Bohrok Kal arc.
The Bohrok Kal could be considered filler villains who ultimately don't matter in the grander scheme of the story who were just a copy of the Bohrok cause they sold really well and they needed something to keep people's attention between the Bohrok arch and The Mask of Light. In Practice the Bohrok Kal actually had some really good parts to their story. The Kal were the first villains that the Toa fought who were individuals instead of a hoard, and made the conflict feel personal. It also included the introduction of the Mask of Time into the story, and a personal moment of growth on Tahu's part where he gets called out for almost throwing his life away pointlessly trying to just tough his way through a wall of Burning Plasma and realizes he can't go through life being reckless and unafraid to die.
So I thought if the main problem was that they are Bohrok again...what if they weren't Bohrok?
Part of what makes the Kal so fun is just how much they antagonize the Toa. The reason the Kal are there in the first place is because the Toa sealed the Bahrag Queens in a Crystalized Protodermis Seal, but the Toa didn't know that the Bahrag and Bohrok swarms play a vital role in the process of reviving Mata Nui. What if instead of being Bohrok themselves, the Kal were covert field agents of the secret Order of Mata Nui doing the dirty work behind the scenes all for the sake of Mata Nui. Then they overhear that the Toa sealed the Bahrag actively interfering with a vital process of Mata Nui's revival and collectively decide to go against protocol to free the Bahrag, but also they have a personal grudge with these Toa specifically.
The main Toa Team were sealed away for thousands of years only to be released in Mata Nui's greatest time of need to be the Elite Emergency Revival Team, however so far they have not been doing a very good job at that. Over the thousands of years they were stuck in stasis pods, their bodies have gotten weaker, they lost their memories, and the pods malfunctioned so when they were meant to be deployed they actually were left adrift at see for about a thousand years unable to do anything. Then after arriving it's understandable that they were lost and confused, but to the Kal it looks like they are just bumbling idiots who are making things worse and now getting in the way. Meanwhile the Kal in this telling have been active in the universe the entire time doing the thankless jobs that needed to be done, all for the sake of Mata Nui and have grown jealous of to their perspective the undeserved praise of Toa, and then had enough when they stop the Bohrok swarm, so they decide to go up and make themselves known, and try to replace the Toa, but like the originals they are also arrogant and get done in by their own lust for power driving them to forgo their duty for selfish gain.
To further emphasize that the Kal are meant to be discount Toa, I decided to make them a Prototype version of the Exo Toa drones that act automatously and can drain the elemental energies from other beings like the Toa to empower their own elemental powers. I didn't draw all 6 of them cause they would roughly look the same:
Red = Lightning
Blue = Magnetism
Green = Vacuum
Brown = Plasma
White = Sonics
Black = Gravity
