#revoice18

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SideBeeAshley on Instagram: "In todays episode of "Side B History" when JD Hall tried to infiltrate #Revoice18 with his gay disguise 😂 https

SideBeeAshley shared a post on Instagram: "In todays episode of "Side B History" when JD Hall tried to infiltrate #Revoice18 with his gay di

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Revoice - Part 1

First of I-don’t-know-how-many blog posts of my experience last week in St. Louis, MO. If you’ve never heard of Revoice Conference, it’s a safe space that  supports, encourages, and empowers gay, lesbian, same-sex-attracted, and other LGBT Christians so they can flourish while observing the historic, Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality. It’s the first time in human history that “Side B” Christians from all over the world can gather to worship, to fellowship, and to learn from one another. This event really means a lot to me. I wish I had this 8 years ago when I was a closeted Christian! Although my experience as a gay Christian was mostly positive, I met dozens of Christians who either were closeted or rejected by their churches. Revoice was a powerful space to let us all worship in peace. Before I go into the details of the conference, I want my readers to recognize the scope:

This map represents everyone I met at Revoice off the top of my head. Some of these places are very friendly towards LGBT and SSA people. Some are not. Most of these Christians have dedicated their lives to celibacy, in gratitude of their new lives in Christ. Yet some still are misunderstood by their Christian brothers and sisters, with whom they wish to walk along side as they strive to live for Jesus. Oh how good it is On this journey we share To rejoice with the happy And weep with those who mourn.

(lyrics from “Oh How Good”)

Those few days I was able to rejoice with those who were able to worship as they are, and I couldn’t help but weep with those who had to hide themselves from their families. (Real tears!)

It was beautiful to see how God was working through an oppressed group of people for His love to endure all obstacles. Join me as I recount some of the sweet, brave, and thought-provoking moments of Revoice.

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Pride Reflections (pt 2)

So last year I excitedly made my way to the very first Revoice conference. I was more confident than my expedition to the retreat and even more excited to see familiar faces as well as put voices to friends from our group. As I walked into the little church for our preconference those of us that knew each other greeted each other with smiles and embraces. Later me and 15 other friends met together in the house we would share that weekend. That night you could feel the awe and excitement in the air as 450 participants packed ourselves into Memorial Presbyterian Church. We were almost in shock and as a friend put it,"the family reunion that we didn't know we needed." We came together to tend to parts of our lives that we had been told weren't supposed to exist. Putting it lightly, it was amazing.

Yet, with all that being said, it still triggered my first full blown anxiety attack. By the afternoon of the last day I was already noticing that I wasn't exactly feeling 100%, but there was just so much going on that I couldn't put my finger on it. I had nearly lost my appetite and my stomach was in knots. The service and the worship that night was great and I cried and I figured that was all I needed. So I went out one last time and had fun with my friends and said my good-byes. I woke up and made my way to the airport feeling just fine, but as I headed to my plane it all came rushing back. I was exhausted and slept on the airport floor as I waited that afternoon for my second plane. I tried journaling and I processed and I thought until I couldn't anymore. I got home, showered, watched some tv, drank some tea, and then I just fell apart. I couldn't shake whatever I was feeling. I even videoed myself trying to figure out what was wrong while in tears and sent it to the group of us that had gone to revoice. The whole conference was as sensory overload for me - emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Over time I worked up my strength and I felt better, but I felt weighted and tired in a way that I couldn't decyfer or get rid of. Then months later, the Urbana missions conference seemed to just fall out of the sky.

Around Thanksgiving I was contacted by someone who works at Intervarsity to see if I wanted to speak at their missions conference. It was an invitation to speak on a panel about the challenges of being a queer/same sex attracted individual in missions. I had my doubts and fears, but it was a trip to St. Louis so why not? The conference was 2 days after Christmas and as the days came closer I did have this small fear of another anxiety attack. While this was a missions conference and the focus was not 100% lgbt stuff, the reason I was there was. And all the friends I have in St. Louis are my gay friends. I got there and did okay the first day. Towards the end of the second day I was feeling tired and loss of appetite. Then I saw some friends and it eased me a little. But what really put me at ease was the service right before that. I sat in the one lone corner of a giant dome and worshiped. When the worship team began to sing in Spanish I broke. I felt at home. I felt God telling me that "all this" would not disqualify me from my calling. He ministered to me the very thing I was there to speak on, and as I cried the burden and weight that I had been carrying in the months since Revoice was gone. I still felt a little weak and had a migraine all the next day, but by the time the panel was over I felt like a new person. At first I thought maybe it was just excitement and an emotional high, but after I had been home for a while and had already rung in the New Year, I knew something had changed. I felt like hope had been renewed in me.

[sidebeeashley]

So my friend Grant Hartley is a tried and true treasure. He came under more attacks than most simply because of the title of his workshop last year at the Revoice conference, but we finally have here for all to take part in - ENJOY!!!

[sidebeeashley]

By Ethan McCarthy, an editor at InterVarsity Press and a staff writer at Christ and Pop Culture. You can follow him on Twitter at @e_mccarth. A Tenacious Witness: Reflections on the Revoice Conference Last Friday night I stood in the sanctuary of Memorial Presbyterian Church in St. Louis, singing “It Is Well With My Soul” …

There are so many things I could say about this conference,but I am still processing and kind of reeling from it all. So for now I’ll let others talk

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4 Things I Realized at ReVoice

2. We’re not waiting anymore.