#rewrite zill

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Relationships: Kayla and Zill

So, there are a few issues with how this relationship is portrayed that take away from the story.

I’ll just say it. Zill and Kayla may have different life histories and personalities, but they bring nearly the exact same contributions to the plot. Both of them have passion for singing and theater, both can hold their own in a fight and are fully willing to do so on another’s behalf, et cetera. Their personalities as they’re portrayed in the comic seem like only slightly different flavors of the same person. I thought at first that Kayla being on the school’s fencing team could lead to a smaller arc about sports at ZPA that was solely hers, but as it turns out, Zill also plays on multiple teams at ZPA, even though it’s not shown. So they’re both athletes as well.

(And also. American football??? Really??? Admittedly this is mostly based on vibes but that feels like it could not be more out of character.)

The point is, it is genuinely difficult to find a single part of either character’s life that’s fully separate from the other. They’re not allowed to be individual people with unique interests or perspectives on the world, as their fight in chapter 2 shows (we’ll get to that).

It’s for this reason that they feel kind of… bland, as a couple. We don’t get to see how the things that make them different from each other allow them to fit together, because they aren’t different in any meaningful way. They just like and agree on all the same things so they’re together.

There’s definitely potential! I certainly think so — after all, my blog background is a drawing of the two of them that I’m going to show again because I’m unreasonably proud of it:

They just need some diverging interests and interpersonal conflicts that they can tackle, beyond the kind that anyone could have. It would be complicated to explain those changes here, so they’ll be in the individual posts for character changes.

When I do those, I’ll put Kayla’s here and Zill’s here.

There’s also the fact that in the context of a romantic relationship, they aren’t particularly unique either. All that we learn about their relationship with each other (in the comic and outside art) is that they are In LoveTM.

So if that’s all the information we get, I’m taking it to the extreme.

First of all, they’re not just in love, they’re fucking smitten. Gomez and Morticia levels of simping for each other at all times. Their affection for each other is almost aggressive but hey, they both seem to like it that way. The PDA makes everyone uncomfortable.

In addition, they’re connected to each other by more than the relationship. By which I mean you get the sense that if they weren’t dating, they’d be best friends.

Second, in about half the drawings that show both of them together, they’re giving each other the most conspiratorial looks, so I’m going to interpret that by saying that not only are they good at teamwork, but that anyone who isn’t a coward would make them plotting gremlins whenever they’re within a mile of one another.

In the existing canon, there’s a lot of evidence of trust and cooperation between them (especially because those are prerequisites for Battle CouplesTM which I’d say they are since they fight the vampires and the monster together), but my favorite example of it is this:

I know I’ve given a lot of criticism about this comic, but this little bit of a scene deserves a fucking standing ovation. The “paranoid boyfriend who’s worried that a new guy trying to get close to his girlfriend will get her to leave him” is a terrible trope and needs to die, especially when the narrative paints him as if he’s in the right for it. If you have a good relationship with your partner, then you should trust them! The fact that Vivziepop made sure to show explicitly that Zill is not jealous about Damian is awesome.

Basically, this scene implies that Zill would actually be fine with Damian hitting on Kayla if it weren’t for how Kayla felt about it. When he got angry at Damian about it in a previous scene, he was standing up for her (and it probably was partially because it was rude of Damian to hit on her in front of him).

Also, while I’m saying nice things…

This is also a great moment for the two of them. Because with Zill trying to protect Jack all day and then finding out that Kayla was immediately on board with helping him, and prepared to use a switchblade to defend his BFF? One of the most important people in his life?

The girl makes him lose his entire cool. He looks like he’s falling for her all over again 🥰

Their relationship’s biggest weakness would be over sharing. Some things don’t need to be said, and there’s a point when honesty becomes rudeness. Also, people outside their relationship (usually Jack or Damian, but for different reasons) end up knowing more about it than they probably should.

The last issue is how their relationship was introduced. The whole second chapter was pretty much dedicated to that subject, and it was very badly done.

If you’re going to introduce your wholesome couple, don’t do it by showing them fight. It’s true that all relationships have rough patches, but this is the second chapter! This introduction is a defining moment, and showing a moment that’s supposed to reflect a rarity is a terrible way to fill it.

Next, if you are going to introduce a couple by having them fight, make it about something defining that tells the audience something about these characters, since it is only the second chapter and the readers don’t really know who these people are yet. Don’t make it about something generic and cliché like forgetting an anniversary, because everyone who’s in a romantic relationship has one of those, and most people would be upset if their partner forgot when it is. It gives zero information.

An argument is a chance to show what characters really care about, and what things they’re unwilling to compromise on, even for someone they love. And how they resolve the issue shows their strengths as a couple and how they tackle problems between them.

But in this case, their problem was solved because… Zill was really sorry for forgetting, and Kayla was willing to forgive him for making a dumb mistake. Which says something about his dedication and her capacity for forgiveness, but it’s not much.

The actual changes to this part will be in my ch2 edits.

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Character Changes: Zill

(I may have neglected to consider how small some of these characters were drawn on the cover)

Aka, how NOT to write a chill character.

So, I’m trying to write this based on what I think Vivziepop wanted for it. Which is a challenge bc her “show-don’t-tell” game is never on point and a lot of shit ends up contradictory. Zill is a good example.

Luckily, in his case (and with a couple other characters) I know exactly what he was supposed to be, because he had a character sheet! Multiple, actually!

I’m going to use the most recent I can find:

To be fair, most of this made it to the final draft. And there might have been some planned changes to his character that I didn’t see. Not to mention the fact that some of it is just fun facts about his life and aren’t about his personality at all. So let’s get into the biggest issue that comes up here.

“Layed back” (that’s not how you spell that). This one has been reiterated in posts about Zill a few times, sometimes rephrased. So it’s probably important. The term implies that he’s generally a very chill, go-with-the-flow guy, not easily upset.

Be warned that I will say this often: I understand that there are moments when a person is pushed to act against their nature or character. In fact, moments like these make a good story. But if you put a bunch of those moments at the very beginning of the story, the audience is going to get the wrong impression.

The “layed back” thing that was brought up so many times didn’t make it to the final product very well. If the ZP comic was all you had to go off of, he seems pretty emotional, especially quick to anger.

(On an unrelated note, I’d like to draw your attention to a particularly humorous part of one of those images)

(It really amuses me how much this is a teenager’s way of thinking.)

(Zill. Honey. I promise your 3-year anniversary with your girlfriend wasn’t going to be even close to the most special day in her life. Hell, you guys are high school sweethearts with your whole lives ahead of you — if your relationship doesn’t make it, I can all but guarantee that this will not matter in the long run.)

The other thing I’ve noticed (talking about the character sheet again) is the term “hard to impress”. It comes up directly for at least two other characters (Damian and Cierra, aka Zill’s aunt) and is kinda implied with Jack, if I’m not mistaken.

I feel like, as a term, it’s too general to be used to describe a character in a helpful way. There are all kinds of ways to impress someone: to make them happy, to gain their respect, to inspire awe, to intimidate them… you get the idea. And if “not impressed” means that none of these things worked, then we just end up with a cast of characters acting all nonchalant and emotionless about stuff, and that’s no fun, especially when it’s done unintentionally.

There’s also the fact that Zill forgets his and Kayla’s anniversary. I’m not sure exactly what this is supposed to imply about him. Maybe he’s just forgetful, maybe he’s inconsiderate, maybe he’s a bad partner. Or maybe it was a one-off and he’s usually not like this.

Or maybe he’s not great in relationships in general? Since he also didn’t notice that Jack was missing for a week (trapped inside his locker).

I think it’s meant to show either forgetfulness or a one-off incident. And I also think that Jack disappearing for some reason or another (or Damian bullying him) is either the norm or Vivziepop forgot to consider how any other character might react to it.

There’s also the implication that he puts others before himself, like when he puts himself in danger to protect Jack or helps Horris escape the vampires even though they were fighting each other only minutes ago.

Some other things we know about him:

He has a job (said with no further context — what does he DO?)

He has a phobia of vampires

He’s well-known enough that a vampire from Germany had heard about him

He’s a vigilante in his city

He was more occupied with smooching his gf than his teachers fighting two vampires not five feet away (c’mon, man)

He’s not bothered by Jack’s curse

Knew how to write and spell at 5 years old, living in the forest (which is another thing I don’t think Viv thought through)

Has been bullied as a child, possibly still is?

Has been neglecting his relationship with Jack lately (in Jack’s opinion)

…It honestly took me a while to work out any kind of organized way to address all of this information.

Oh, and one more thing: he’s protective of his loved ones.

I mention this last because it’s key to the character changes I’m making for him. See, his actual character is clearly contradictory to the “layed back” personality he’s supposed to have, but in most of those examples of this, he expresses such strong emotion because of someone else he cared about who’d been harmed.

Being a chill person and being protective of one’s loved ones are NOT mutually exclusive, though! He doesn’t need to stop being one of these things to be the other. For this aspect of his character, I’m drawing inspiration from Clay, a character in the Wings of Fire series.

Protectiveness is also defining trait for Clay, just like it is for Zill. He even fights other people in defense of his friends. But unlike Zill, being a laid back person is always a part of his character and he doesn’t get angry quickly.

How is this possible? Clay also possesses a great amount of empathy, even for his enemies. He acknowledges that they are living beings who deserve the possibility of happiness in their lives too. When he protects his friends, he doesn’t get angry at the person who threatens them, and considers his protection as a duty, so he doesn’t bring his anger into it.

I don’t know what Zill’s philosophies about the world are, but I think it’s still possible to achieve the same result in other ways. Rewrite Zill also sees looking out for his loved ones as a duty, and always cares more about their happiness than retribution. By which I mean his friends’ safety and happiness is important, but hurting the person who hurt them really isn’t.

When it comes to physical fights, Zill is really confident in his abilities (more on this later) so he’s able to approach a fight while remaining calm, usually with certainty he can win. There are rare occasions when he doesn’t feel this way, however, but his usual confidence is meant to make these hit harder.

So, he’s still laid back (but actually, this time). And an effect of this is that he sometimes represses his actual emotions to appear calm and casual.

(Actually, as long as I’m comparing his personality to other characters, I think he’s probably closest to Jorge from Svetlana Chmakova’s comics.)

Next, the “hard to impress” thing. This is still true for Zill, but specifically it means that he’s hard to intimidate. He doesn’t have great respect for authority either. He’s pretty easy to please, though.

In my rewrite, Zill forgetting Kayla’s anniversary probably won’t be a plot point at all (I don’t think it was too important in the first place, just used to establish their relationship and some other things), although it might be referenced in my version as a one-off mistake he made once. He’s not forgetful, though. (Jack being trapped in his locker probably won’t be used either.)

Going through the other things, rapid-fire:

Works flexible shifts at an emergency response call center (this may not be mentioned)

Still has an irrational phobia of vampires and this will be used to connect him and Cameron

Isn’t really well-known, vampires have never heard of him before

Is still a vigilante, but he actually keeps that on the down-low and it will be framed as a twist later on in the extension portion of the story

Cares about smooching his gf more than the vampire fight

Not bothered by Jack’s curse (esp since that’s an important part of their friendship)

Just fucking told Jack his name because names don’t necessarily change depending on language (as far as I can figure out, Spanish doesn’t even have a word for zillion? Maybe it’s just English slang?)

Was still bullied, was affected by this more than in the OG, and is still coping with it

I’m still undecided about whether there are problems in his relationship with Jack in this one. The story might not need this subplot, and it honestly doesn’t seem too hard to resolve. I might replace this conflict with a better one.

The last thing: Zill’s selflessness. This is still a thing for him, and it ties into his confidence, because he believes that not only can he handle all the problems of his own life, but he can take care of others as well (such as Jack).

This points to an important feature of his character: his fatal flaw. Namely, hubris. He’s often overconfident, and takes on more than he can handle. He’s comfortable with taking risks, but there’s always the possibility that he’s biting off more than he can chew, and that will be his downfall.

Anyway, those are the changes I’m making to his character! I’ll definitely add more info as I go, mostly additive stuff rather than changes to existing canon, and maybe things that will only become relevant once I get to the story extension. For now, this is what I’ve got!

Aka, I’m done talking about him, at least for a while. Promise.

Oh, and here are the links to my other posts about him, my headcanons and his backstory.

[fearless-phony-zp-rewrite]

Despite the fact that they both experienced homelessness for a period of time, Zill doesn’t have the same trauma as Jillian because the animal district is generally more survivable than Hell, he was on his own for less time than her, and because Mindy and Jack are a more hospitable family for him to have been adopted into than Hell’s royalty. He’s been part of a family for long enough that he’s not worried about being unsafe or alone anymore.

On that note, one change to Jack’s backstory is that he wouldn’t ever leave home for multiple days (mostly because even the implied logistics of a toddler living in the wild on their own are exhausting) just for a few hours at most, and he brought Zill home on the same day he met him. Because when you find an abandoned child, what you need to do is take them to a responsible adult, not leave them there.

(To be fair, Jack did stay with Zill for a month, but he also left Jillian to be a homeless kid for a while.)

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Character Changes: Zill’s Backstory

Yeah, I know I said only one more post for him, but it turns out I lied.

And no, this isn’t (entirely) because he’s my favorite character, it has more to do with the fact that we learn more information about him than probably any other character.

I’m just guesstimating here, but he gets a lot of the spotlight in chapters 2 and 4, and some attention in chapter 1.

Jack gets introduced in chapter 1 and we learn about him for part of chapter 4 (although he talks about his friends more than himself).

Cameron is a bit in every chapter (except 5) but we learn nothing new about her.

Kayla gets bits of chapters 2 and 4.

Damian gets some of 3 and the end of 5.

And the rest are more minor characters. So I think that giving him this much attention is kinda justified.

Anyway. Zill’s backstory is told in three acts. The first is fine the way it is, except I would tell it (and the rest of this, frankly) as a proper series of flashbacks and not someone else explaining the story. And I’d follow some actual trains of thought in the scene where Zill and Jack meet (did you notice there’s not a single thought bubble in the entire ZP comic?). Also, the part where Kayla punches Rusty is excellent and points to some changes I’ll be making to make her a more rounded character. More on that when I get to her character changes.

The second and third acts are the problem here. See, being promiscuous or someone who likes parties isn’t necessarily a character flaw. It’s just a way to live your life, and as long as it’s not hurting anyone there’s nothing wrong with it on its own.

But the fact that Zill changes this part of his life for Kayla implies one of three things: that in his case, it was bad for him to be like that, that she made him change for her, or both.

Also, some of the imagery in this chapter implies that Zill used to be a disloyal partner (that panel with him talking to a girl with a flirtatious expression while holding a different girls hand, for example). Which, along with the aforementioned change in his lifestyle, makes this relationship look… possibly kinda fucked up. Not to mention that having a character who cheats implies that they have the mindset that women are interchangeable. Gross.

I mean, not to say that people can’t change, but it’s borderline foolish for Kayla to start a relationship with someone who’s disloyal. You can’t expect a cheater to discontinue that kind of behavior just because they’re with you now. And making another person change their life for you (or changing your life just for it to fit with someone else’s, for that matter) isn’t healthy.

Based on the amount of outside art of Zill and Kayla being cute together, I think this impression is unintentional and they’re supposed to be wholesome (although it would be THE twist ever if this were building up to a revelation that their relationship looked cute but was toxic under the surface). Because of that, I think the assumptions we’re supposed to make is that when Zill began to get closer to Kayla, he realized that he loved her and that she was The One, but he wouldn’t be treating her right as his current self. So he chugged a bunch of respect-for-women juice and set about making himself a more respectful and loyal partner for her.

Which… based.

Oh, and the other assumption to be made here was that Zill’s “party lifestyle” was unhealthy or harmful to him in some way and that he chose to change this about himself independently, and not solely because of Kayla.

This is a big problem in this story: we’re supposed to make these assumptions based on things we’re told, but the things the stories show say something different. So you’re either looking at a story that contradicts itself, or you look intentionally for any scrap of evidence that supports what you’re told and ignore or try to explain away what you’re shown that says otherwise.

Hence, why “show don’t tell” is so important!

There’s also the fact that Jack’s phrasing implies that Zill was involved in a number of sexual relationships. Based on the timeline, he would’ve been in middle school, 14 or younger. I don’t think that Vivziepop did the math on this due to the, uh, legal questions this raises, and the fact that when Cameron (an adult in a job that involves being responsible for children) heard about this story she had zero reaction to this information.

Of course, Jack didn’t explicitly say that any of his words were innuendo. It’s possible that calling Zill “loose” could have been referring to his unfaithful behavior in romantic relationships. But this is Vivziepop we’re talking about. I think it’s safe to say he was talking about sex. And a couple of those panels from Jack’s story seem kinda suggestive, on top of that.

(I have a hypothesis that this was the result of a timeline error, and that this period of his life was supposed to be during his high school years… which is a little more okay. But my theory is that Vivziepop just forgot to do the math on that and didn’t realize that Zill was being monogamous with Kayla during that time. Which, oof, but I get it if that’s what happened. I’ve made timeline errors as well.)

So, here’s my changes:

In general, I’m just going to tone down this phase in his life, because I honestly don’t think it does anything for him as a character, especially because it happened entirely off-screen, and was just summarized in Jack’s story. If you want to have character development like that, put it in the present so we can fully explore it!

For my version, Zill wasn’t going to wild parties all the time or even very often (although it was still a part of his life), he would just occasionally break rules and act out in the way that kids do. Like breaking curfew and drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs (I’m still on the fence about that last one, but maybe). He also used to get angry more easily. In this version, he didn’t cheat while in relationships, but rather, he often gave the impression of being bored with anyone romantically involved with him, and inattentive to their needs. So he went through a fair few girlfriends because of this. Also, none of these relationships were at all sexual in nature (and they won’t be implied to be) mostly due to a lack of interest in it at this part of his life.

By the time he started high school, he’d already begun growing out of his rebellious phase because it didn’t particularly make him happy, and the thrill of breaking rules/laws didn’t feel worth it anymore. Jack nudged him to join the school play because he knew Zill liked acting (originally singing, but I changed it to differentiate him from Kayla… more on this later as well) and in the process of practicing he found his passion for it, made new friends, and was in a much better place by the time he and Kayla got together.

On Kayla’s side of it, she didn’t really like him in middle school (she doesn’t get a “goody two-shoes” rep for nothing) but the version of him she got to know while rehearsing the school play was a very different person. She decides that she does like the new Zill, and agrees to go out with him when he asks shortly before opening night. And here we are.

(And shortly after they got together, she got him to apologize to the exes that he’d hurt for how he’d treated them. Because he might have been going through some stuff at the time but he still hurt people and owed it to them to make amends for it.)

This story removes the implication that Zill upended his lifestyle for Kayla, as well as one Jack makes later about him getting most of his social circle from her.

My basic rule for making these changes is to not include anything that requires deep examination. Like, how someone who cheats in relationships decides to quit that behavior. Or the kind of dynamics involved for a child to involve themselves in a sexual relationship responsibly.

(I think the morality of a 14 yo being in a sexual relationship is situation-dependent, and it’s possible for them to do so without anyone getting hurt by it, but because of that, there should be consideration taken to their situation and character to fully understand that they’re able to be responsible here. Something you can’t do in a summarized flashback.)

Basically, if you’re going to include a story that raises such complex questions about who a character is and how they became that way, it is narratively inappropriate to do so in a format that doesn’t allow you to fully elaborate on the answers to those questions. It might have worked if the whole story had begun at the beginning of Jack’s story, and that could have gone more into detail, but in its current form it’s just bad storytelling.

[fearless-phony-zp-rewrite]

Zill Headcanons

I was going to just make one post for each character about changes I’m making, but for him in particular I also need this one just to figure some things out.

And also I have a weird interest in the biology and culture of mythical creatures, so please bear with me, there’s a lot of these.

A lot of my original characters are hybrid creatures. I put a lot of thought into what traits they get from each species and how the cultures they come from affect them in their lives. And I can see how it makes sense that a second generation hybrid might have trouble identifying themselves. There are a couple characters in my stories that struggle with such problems as well.

I can also really relate to hybrid characters, but that’s for personal reasons.

Ok. So. First of all, I would classify Zill as a reptile. His mother is a reptilian demon (the same species as Carrie, actually!) and his father is part dragon (reptile) and part chimera (1/3 reptile). Also, he has some reptilian features, such as his claws, slitted pupils (sometimes), and no external ears or nose.

(Lizards have literal holes in the side of their head for ears and slitted nostrils, but I imagine that would be creepy to draw on a humanoid character.)

Likewise, I’m assuming the orange is scales. Partly because of the reptile thing, and also because it would be creepy to have someone who’s covered with vibrantly orange skin (*cough* DJT *cough*).

If that was the intention, it could have been made clearer, but I’m guessing some artistic license was taken. It would be annoying to have to draw scale patterns on a character who appears in a lot of comic panels, and it could make the design busy and distracting. I think it’s similar reasons to why Kayla isn’t drawn with a pouch.

Unrelated, but I have this bit of worldbuilding about dragons that I like to think applies here — that their scales start out really light colored and soft when they first hatch, but harden and darken quickly in the first few months of their life. So I like to imagine that Zill started out as off-white when he hatched, and then went through yellow to end up as orange.

Oh, yeah. Hatched. Dragons and chimeras both hatch out of eggs, and I’ve heard some stories where demons do as well. And it would make sense for lizard demons, too. So I’m headcanoning this as well. I think it might have been directly contradicted at some point, but it contributes to his alienation from his friends (who are mostly mammals) so I’m keeping it, although it might not come up again.

Whether Zill’s tail is a separate consciousness feels kinda up in the air. There’s this drawing of it on a date with Addison, but Vivziepop has drawn non-canon situations with her characters often, so who knows if that’s for real. Also, I can’t imagine that a whole separate person would be able to just be totally cool with being attached to another person’s life with zero control.

I usually go with the assumption that it’s non-sentient — it’s basically an ordinary tail that happens to look like a snake (kind of like how animals have markings that look like eyes to make themselves look bigger, or like they’re staring back at you!). He keeps spare pencils and stuff in its mouth.

There are also some panels where his tail isn’t drawn where it should be in view… it’s possible it was just forgotten about, but I personally like the headcanon that he can absorb it into his body like he does with his wings when he’s not using it.

Next: this, I think, was also hinted at multiple times, but I also have a theory that the more of his magic he uses at a time, the more green markings appear on Zill’s body. There are examples of this with his eyes, wrists, wings, and antennae, but maybe more things would change depending on how hard he’s pushing himself. There was also a point when spikes appeared along his wings, so perhaps he would also gain more “demon like” features through this process.

Then there’s the antennae. They could come from numerous kinds of insects; I like to think they’re a cricket’s. Technically, none of the species Zill is related to have those, except possibly some particularly unusual dragon.

I like to think of it as a mystery that no one in his family knows and they’ve given up on trying to figure it out :)

I’d like to close with a headcanon that’s a bit different from the rest of these, one that I playfully call a “production headcanon,” because I started making these theories about the quirks of how certain tv shows were produced. It’s basically a theory on the creation side of things about the creator’s choices and what they might have been thinking.

My theory was this: I suspected that not even Vivziepop knew what species he was supposed to be when she first came up with him. His first character sheet - the thing that’s used to reference information about a character - has his species labeled with question marks. In one short comic, he refers to himself as an alien. I don’t know when he got his species that we know today, but I don’t think it was decided from the start.

Anyway, I’ve had this theory for a while (I got introduced to this comic after it was already put on indefinite hiatus) and just recently I found an old post that confirms I was actually correct.

Truly a chaotic approach to character creation, considering a character’s species is basic demographic information, but I respect it.