Better Than it Ever Was (What They’ll Say About Us)
The low hum of machines and the gentle beep of the heart monitor were the only sounds in the room. The light was white and sterile, but dim. None of the intensive units had windows in this medcenter....
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Rating: T
Wordcount: 2297
Rex muses on the past and looks towards the future. Inspired by "What They'll Say About Us" by FINNEAS.
This is the newest addition to my song-inspired fic series. I am sorry in advance for the pain I am about to inflict on you. Not all my planned additions to this series are sad and angsty, I promise!! I’m posting the AO3 link at the bottom for those of you who prefer to read over there :)
The low hum of machines and the gentle beep of the heart monitor were the only sounds in the room. The light was white and sterile, but dim. None of the intensive units had windows in this medcenter. Rex sat in the chair beside the bed, leaning forward with his forearms braced on his legs, his hands clasped together. The figure in the bed didn’t stir. The slight fog in the plasticlear oxygen mask she wore was the only sign she was breathing at all.
A door slammed somewhere in the building. Feet hurried by on some life-or-death errand and then all was silent again. Time dragged on.
Rex snapped upright when the door finally opened. His eyes searched the nurse’s face, looking for news. Then his gaze dropped to the package she carried. She gave a small smile and held it out to him.
“A girl.”
He took the bundle without a word. The nurse gave a few instructions in a hushed voice and then left them alone again.
Rex settled back into the chair, cradling the newborn gently in his arms. With one finger, his tucked the blanket closer around her tiny chin. In spite of himself, a smile tugged the corners of his mouth.
So tiny and so perfectly innocent…
My daughter.
No.
Our daughter.
The smile slid from his face, a worried crease wrinkling his forehead. He glanced over to where Ahsoka lay so still, her face mostly hidden by the oxygen mask, her lekku limp. A quiet sigh dropped from his lips. They had been through so much together over the past few hours. And days. And years.
Being on the run was not exactly a restful occupation. Ever since Order 66 had come down, their life had been a constant series of hairbreadth escapes and crazy exploits as they struggled to survive in the new order of the galaxy. Fighting back. It was what they were best at after all.
Even before the Clone Wars ended, Rex and Ahsoka were a tightly connected pair. It was a connection that had deepened with time. Each understood the other perfectly: the slight mannerisms, the little quirks and bluffs, the times when one or both needed to go to medical (or to sleep) and were avoiding it. They could devise a plan which would impress even Anakin without a word being spoken aloud. A perfect team.
►◊▼◊◄
Anakin crouched low, peering through the grate of the ventilation shaft. He scowled and slithered back, careful not to make a noise. The rest of the team (including Obi Wan, Rex, Ahsoka, Fives, Echo, Cody, and a handful of others) were waiting in the junction a few meters back.
“They have motion detectors in all the vents. I don’t know how we’re going to get down. We’re lucky they don’t have sensors in the shafts too.”
Obi Wan frowned as he digested this new piece of information.
“Sounds like somebody got sick of having pests in his ventilation system.” Ahsoka whispered, causing a series of quiet chuckles from the men around her.
“Any ideas?” Anakin sounded somewhat less than hopeful.
“Couldn’t you just destroy them with the Force, Skyguy?”
“I could try, Snips, but that would probably set them off. We can’t afford to jeopardize this mission. If we’re caught here, we’re done for.”
Rex felt Ahsoka’s eyes on him and turned to face her. He tilted his head to the shaft, a questioning expression on his face. Ahsoka frowned and nodded. She unhooked her sabers and handed them to Anakin, then flexed her fingers.
“So, it’s just motion sensors? Give me five minutes.”
She headed off down the shaft and Rex followed at a crouch.
“Snips, what are you doing?” Anakin hissed.
Ahsoka poked her head around Rex to look back towards the group.
“Don’t worry, Skyguy. Rexter and I got this one covered. This isn’t the first time we’ve had to take out sensors like this. Remember that time on Cato Neimoidia, Rex?”
Rex nodded, avoiding his general's gaze.
“What in the great karking blazes were you two doing on Cato Neimoidia?” Anakin sputtered.
Obi Wan laid a hand on his arm.
“Quiet, Anakin. You’ll give away our position.”
Anakin rounded on his former master.
“Did you know about this?”
Obi Wan only sighed and tucked his cloak closer around himself.
►◊▼◊◄
Rex shook his head. Even back then they had been drawn together, hadn’t they? With hindsight, he could clearly see the patterns that had led to his holding this child. What had begun as a slightly begrudging acceptance on his part at least, had become a steadfast friendship between he and Ahsoka as they fought, bled, laughed, and cried together. Nothing knits people together like sharing hardships.
It wasn’t until Ahsoka left the Order, however, that either of them had suspected they felt more than friendship. The aching emptiness that was left behind in the wake of her departure had weighed on them both. For Rex, each new day and mission was filled with thoughts of “the Commander” as he had still referred to her then. Was she eating enough? Did she have a place to sleep? That mission would have been a success is she had been there. How would she survive in the Corusant Underworld without someone to watch her six? The food would have tasted better if she had added some of her special Shilien spice mix to it. Did she miss him?
The last question made him feel guilty and selfish, but it always stuck around, no matter how many times he tried to change “does she miss me?” to “does she miss her master, her friends, and her way of life?”. As the time passed Rex began to realize just how important she was to him and how empty his life was without her. The knowledge scared him.
For her part, Ahsoka found that leaving Rex behind was one of the worst parts of the whole mess. When the nights were long and lonely and she couldn’t sleep, she would let her thoughts trail back to the times early in the war when the whole squad would be clustered around lamps (or heaters if the planet was a cold one). She and Rex would be side by side, planning or eating or dozing quietly between watches. Remembering those moments of camaraderie and bonding helped to bring a little warmth to her shattered heart.
►◊▼◊◄
Ahsoka shivered, the cold wind curling relentlessly up her spine. The whole unit was dead on their feet. For the past four days they had been trudging through the half-frozen muck and icy water that made up this miserable, Separatist-infested planet. The food was dry, the water was dirty, and the morale was low. Even the heaters couldn’t completely fight off the chill.
There was a sudden movement at her side. Ahsoka looked up to see the familiar form of her captain holding two ration packs and a thermajug.
“Have a bite, Commander.”
Ahsoka flexed her cold hands and took the ration bar he offered her with a tired grin. She noted appreciatively that it was her favorite flavor.
“Thanks, Rexter.”
He smiled.
“Any time, sir.”
Rex settled down beside her and opened his own ration pack. They ate in silence for a while, the light thrown by the heater casting a warm glow on their faces. A cold gust swept through the camp and Ahsoka shivered and scooted over till she was tucked next to Rex, rubbing her arms to warm them. Rex stiffened in surprise and looked down at her, a somewhat bewildered expression on his face. Ahsoka had snuggled into his side like a tooka and pulled her feet up under her cloak. She could feel his warmth even though the plastoid of his armor. It was comforting. A huge yawn almost split her face in half and she began to nod, slipping backwards. Rex laid an arm around her shoulders just in time to prevent her from falling over. She looked up at him, blinking sleepily.
“You’re warm.”
She could see him trying to stifle his amusement under professional stoicism.
“Glad to help, sir.”
She gave a sleepy chuckle and settled herself more comfortably, anxious thoughts of the campaign and the sharpness of the wind dispersed by his presence.
►◊▼◊◄
It was that missing presence that hurt Ahsoka the most during those days on her own. That and her constant worry for his well-being. Missions were dangerous and clones were built to be expendable. Even with Anakin at their head, the 501st still suffered casualties. It was a war after all and war didn’t discriminate when it claimed the lives of those who labored to end it. The thought that Rex might be lying in some unmarked grave gnawed at her heart.
So it went on for what seemed like ages, each day weighing down like a stone. And then Bo Katan sought out the Jedi to help with Siege of Mandalore and suddenly she was standing in a room full of her boys, their helmets painted to match her and Rex at the front of them all. It was in that moment that they both knew.
They fought side by side and each felt completed again. The end of the war was suddenly in sight; then it all fell apart. Order 66. The crash. Burying their dead. Being on the run and finding the tiny pockets of rebels hidden throughout the galaxy. Their first kiss. Confessing their feelings and falling deeper and deeper in love. Their wedding. Finding out Ahsoka was pregnant. The crazy cravings and excitement that had led up to her long labor and ended in a desperate operation. Her still, unconscious body as they raced her to the intensive unit. All these moments passed through Rex’s mind as he stared down into his daughter’s tiny face.
►◊▼◊◄
“Throw me the charges, Rex!”
“Ahsoka, listen to me, if we’re not out of here where this thing blows….”
“I know, just trust me!”
The red light from below flickered across her face, tight with concentration. A blaster bolt whizzed over her head and they both ducked. His return shot hit home, but several more came their way.
“We are running out of time!”
Ahsoka turned and looked at him. There was something unsettling in her glance, like she knew this might be the last time she ever saw him. Without a word, she stepped forward and pressed her lips to his. The next moment, she had turned and sprung away into the dark chasm to their left. Rex stood frozen in complete shock. He narrowly avoided the next shot aimed at him and sunk behind one of the outcropping rocks. He shook his head, counting out five seconds to get himself back together. There would be plenty of time to process what had just happened when he wasn’t on the verge of death. Right now, he had to focus if there was to be any chance of them making it out of there alive.
To say the next few minutes were tense would be an understatement. A whole squad of nat-borns were closing in around his position. A bolt clipped the top of his left shoulder and he hissed, setting his teeth against the pain. The rock formations prevented him from even seeing most of his opponents and he fired back in growing desperation.
The ground gave a sudden shudder and Ahsoka appeared in front of him, running at a dead sprint, blaster bolts streaking around her. Barely slowing her pace, she caught him by the arm and dragged him after her. They ran for their lives, chests heaving as they struggled up the rocky tunnel towards the exit. Then they were out and diving for cover. Even sheltered behind an outcrop, the shock wave from the explosion pelted them with rock and dust. Coughing, Rex rolled over further under the overhanging ledge, pulling Ahsoka with him.
They huddled there, side by side as the dust began to clear. Ahsoka turned to face him suddenly.
“Rex…”
“Don’t worry about it, 'Soka.” He hesitated, then reached up and brushed some dirt from her cheek with gentle fingers. His eyes were soft. “I don’t mind.”
Ahsoka drew closer to him as if pulled by a magnet.
“A little cliché, don’t you think?” she murmured.
Rex smirked, his eyes drifting down to her lips.
“Maybe, but I mean it,” he whispered, and kissed her.
►◊▼◊◄
Rex stood up, his child cradled to his chest, and moved to the bedside. Gently, he threaded his fingers though Ahsoka’s limp ones.
“Your mother’s tired now, but don’t worry. She’ll wake up.” He took a shaky breath. “We’ve already lost so many. You would have loved them, all your uncles. Fives, Jesse, Hardcase, Waxer, Tup, Hevy, Ringo, Thorn, Havoc, Colt, 99. I used to think that the pain would fade, but… but it never does, kid. Those men, my brothers who share my face, my friends, the Jedi, all those kids in the temple…I promise you, little one, I won’t give up. I’ll change the world for you, and we’ll grow together as a family.”
He looked at his daughter’s calm face, her eyes taking him in with rapt attention. She was obviously a hybrid, with white-blond eyebrows and the beginnings of facial markings just visible on her forehead and cheeks. Her skin was his golden-brown, but her eyes were all Ahsoka’s. A tear fell unheeded down his cheek. He took a deep breath and kissed his wife's hand, still clasped in his own.
“And if you don’t wake up, cyar’ika, I…I'll know you tried to. I wish you could see her.” He sighed and brushed a finger along their daughter’s tiny cheek. “She looks just like you.”
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Thanks for reading :) Sorry for the pain (though technically you can make it end however you want). Cheers!
Tired to read ppl saying "how dare u to ship Ahsoka with Rex or Anakin or Maul! She's 17!!! 😭😭😭 You're disgusting! You're a monster!!!"
Well, guess what, bitch, ppl grow up, and Ahsoka is not the exception. She's not forever 17, you know. FICTIONAL characters use to have a development, including aging. Yeap, so, if I want to ship Ahsoka with Rex, I will, 'cuz for me she's already 20 or whatever, got it?
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Title: Sweet Temptation
Rating: Explicit
Fandoms: Star Wars The Clone Wars
Relationship: CT-7567 Rex / Ahsoka Tano
Words: 7,729
Chapters: 1/1
Important Note: All characters represented in this fic are over 18. Assume that in this story Ahsoka never left the Jedi Order and stayed Anakin’s padawan. Padawans can be as old as 25. So, assume Ashoka is 18.
Summary: After their shuttle goes down, Rex and Ahsoka must try and make their way back to the base. Being pushed to their limits and struggling to hold onto the hope of being rescued, the pair let their true feelings slip. Once they share a forbidden, passionate kiss in the jungle, how will their relationship change once back on base?
