this might sound stupid and weird but could you do RFA finding out MC stims, but they are really self conscious about it? like MC starts flapping their hands because she's excited and realizes what they are doing and get self-conscious? it doesnt have to be that kind of stimming and you can ignore if you wish
your wish is my command! Sorry if I’m a little off, I don’t know much about the topic, but I tried! Beware of long post
You guys were literally out of food. You both forgot to go pick up groceries, and now there is no food left.
Clearly, you have to go to the store to grab some stuff to eat
But there must be some type of sale going on or something, because there are t o n s of people there
You can hear each and every footstep, whisper, even the chomping of gum. And it’s making you horribly uncomfortable, so you start bending your fingers and cracking your wrists to make it stop
But when that doesn’t work, you start fidgeting with your phone in your hand, running your fingers harshly over the buttons over and over, bending it in a way it probably shouldn’t be bent
Yoosung, who is focused on finding tasty and nutritious food, asks you your opinion on something
That’s when you realized you were stimming, in front of Yoosung, and in a store…
What if Yoosung judges you? What if he thinks its weird?!
You reply shakily, “o-oh uh, yeah I like t-those”
Oh God you’re so stupid! Why would you do that in front of him like that?! Maybe he didn’t notice…
You feel tears welling in your eyes; you’re getting yourself worked up over this…
“So MC, I was thinking after this we could-” Yoosung notices your eyes, and immediately starts questioning you. “MC whats wrong?!”
“O-Oh nothing its okay,” you smile at him, walking ahead of him. “The air is just dry. I think I’m gonna go out to the car, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, um, okay… Are you sure you’re okay? We can leave and talk about it-”
“No, I really am okay, thank you,” you rush out of the store
When you finally get back to the car you start rocking back and fourth to calm yourself down
Now Yoosung is worrying, because of you!!
Yoosung ended up following you out of the store, because he was too worried. You didn’t notice him until he opened the car door
“D-Don’t look at me!” you hide your face in your knees, and he gets in the car and leans over to you
“What happened? Did I do something? MC-”
“If I t-tell you, you might leave me… It’s really bad…”
He frowns, and pulls you into his arms, “I wouldn’t leave you for the world.”
You tell him about stimming, but he has no idea what it is
So now you have to explain it to him
And he did not have the reaction you were expecting at all??
He hugs you and says, “MC, if it makes you feel better then how is it bad? I don’t care if you do that, in fact, I want you to! I don’t want you to force yourself to feel uncomfortable, ever…”
He kisses you on the forehead, and says, “besides, me playing LOLOL is kinda the same, right? We both do it to feel good! I love you MC, and nothing in the whole universe can change that…”
Wow! You have a backstage pass to Zen’s performance! And he is literally the l e AD !!!
You bought him so many flowers
When the show is over you head back stage to greet him
Wow you’re just so excited for him! This is your Zen, and he’s the main character performing in front of hundreds of people! YOUR ZEN!
The excitement is coursing through your veins, and you start flapping your hands rapidly
It’s just such a happy thing! So proud of Zenny working so hard to get where he is
You see him coming, and instantly women surround him
But you know that he’s yours and they don’t stand a chance against you, because Zen loves you with all his heart!
While he’s getting showered with compliments, he finally sees you and excuses himself
“Wow, someone’s excited,” he laughs
Well of course you are! But wait…
He just saw you flapping your hands… Oh no, Zen just saw you doing that!?! In public?!
He doesn’t make any other comments on it though, he just scoops you up into a big hug, and spins you around
You try to keep up the happy facade but you’re just so… Embarrassed and disappointed in yourself that its hard
But you gotta for Zen, right?
That night you waited for him to fall asleep before you started crying, pulling on your hair hard and digging your nails into your hand
Of course it’s silent so it doesn’t wake him up, but either way… You bet none of those girls around him stim like you do! Oh no, what if he hates you for it? What if-
“MC?” asks a groggy Zen. “Are you crying?”
“N-No, what makes you think that?” you ask, laughing slightly
“Hey, hey whats wrong?” he asks in a calm tone, sitting up and pulling you into a hug
“Don’t you know? You saw me do it…” you sob, holding onto his shirt tightly
“Huh? MC what are you talking about?”
You take a deep breath, and say, “you saw me flapping my hands like an idiot earlier… I probably embarrassed you… It’s okay, I don’t blame you for being embarrassed by me… I mean, imagine a super popular actor with a girlfriend who stims?! It’s just stupid and-”
“Whoa, whoa slow down…” he chuckles softly, stroking your hair
“That’s what this is about? MC… You don’t have to be embarrassed of that… I wasn’t embarrassed at all! I’m proud of you MC, I love showing you off to people… I love you MC. I love every part of you, and that includes the parts that you don’t like, too.”
Ever since you met Jaehee, you’ve changed her life very drastically
She went from being overworked, stressed, and depressed, to a hopeful and radiant young lady! All because of you
And now? You two are gonna own a coffee shop together!
However Jumin is still salty about the whole Quitting Thing, and is being very passive to Jaehe in the chat room
Now you care about Jaehee a lot, so this frustrates you to no end
Right now she’s out getting some cups for the shop for when you open, so you’re home alone
You start rocking back and fourth to let go of some of your aggravation
But you didn’t hear Jaehee come home
“MC, what’s wrong?” she asks when she sees you, rushing to your side
“O-Oh Jaehee! S-Sorry you had to see me like that, um, it’s n-nothing,” you get up and rush to the bathroom, slamming the door
Jaehee rushes after you, and knocks on the door, trying to open it only to learn that you locked it
“MC, MC, open the door, what’s wrong? Talk to me…”
“I’m so stupid… Please forget about that…” you mumble. “I don’t want anyone knowing….”
Jaehee is into Mom Mode now
“MC, I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m whats wrong! I just wanna be normal, I don’t wanna have to stim to calm down or express stuff, I just want to be like you! I dont-”
“MC… That is normal. I didn’t know…”
“And now you’re gonna leave me right? Because it’s weird, why am I so stupid?!”
Jaehee knocks a little on the door, “MC it would be foolish of me to leave you for something like that… The coffee shop is opening soon, and I need you for that…”
You decide to just listen
“You helped me get out of a bad state, you helped me fight for my passion, you stood up to Jumin Han for heavens sake! No one can do that and not be scared…. But you did. You helped me in ways I couldn’t even help myself. You changed my life, MC… Now I wanna help you. Please open the door…”
Her words strike something in you, and for some reason, in some way, you believe her… All your life you’ve been so self conscious of your habits…
Everyone has told you to not stim, but now Jaehee wants to help you embrace it?
You reach up for the door handle, and open it
Its your birthday!! Jumin is PumPED AF
He’s going to make it the BEST birthday known to MAN KI N D
Great food, fire works just for you, a boatload of new dresses… Maybe even some fun times in bed
When you open the door to his apartment, and see all that he has prepared for you, you really can’t help but feel so… Touched
Jumin does NOT seem like the type to do this at all!
You run and jump into his arms, and he hugs you tightly
“I hope you like it… I want it to be special this year…” he smiles into your hair
You begin jumping up and down slightly, overwhelmed with happiness
“Jumin I love it, I love it, I love you, I love it!” you hug him tighter
and then you realize what you’re doing
you stop jumping right away, and break the hug
“Sorry about my little outburst there, I-I’m just really happy is all!”
He doesn’t get why you’re apologizing? He thought it was cute
“What do you mean?” he asks, concerned with the look in your eye
“It’s just… I’ve tried not to stim around you… It’s weird and-”
“Stim? What’s that mean?”
Oh n o now you have to explain it to him!?! this is literally your worst nightmare ever
“U-Uh, well… It’s kind of a thing… That some people do… To express how they feel, I guess… I don’t know, it’s really weird and stupid, I-”
He raises his eyebrow, confused, “It doesn’t sound weird or stupid to me? Why would you think something like that is weird? Doesn’t everyone express things in their own ways?”
He really isn’t grasping it
“W-Well yeah, but sometimes it can be weird and-” you try to explain
“Well all types of expression can be considered strange, MC. But I don’t think that’s odd at all?”
You shrug, “I’m just really self conscious, I guess… It’s just kinda… I dunno… People, including my parents, have always told me not to, and I just-”
“See, now that’s weird. Telling someone not to do something natural to them?”
“MC, if I were to do things like that, you wouldn’t dislike me, right? I love you MC… Just because you express how you feel doesn’t mean that’ll change,” he wraps his arm around your waist and kisses you
“Sorry if I’m making a big deal about this,” he smiles. “I guess I just don’t want you to feel negative at all, and I can tell you’re feeling really bad about this… It’s the look in your eyes that’s giving you away. I love you, MC. You’re my life… I don’t want you to think otherwise just because you think lowly of something like that… Besides, it’s your birthday. We have much to do before the night is over. So please, believe me when I say that I don’t think it’s weird or stupid at all.”
His words actually struck tears in your eyes??
“O-Okay,” you smile. “I’ll believe you.”
He watched you over the CCTV cams every day!
He’s seen you rocking back and fourth, flapping your hands, the whole nine yards!
And he didn’t really care at all, it’s not something to be rude about or to even think about really
It’s just kind of… A thing?
So when you were ripping on yourself for stimming in front of Seven, he was very worried
“MC, really, it’s not something bad, I don’t care about that, I care about you!”
“This is me! And I hate it, I hate how I act, I hate what I do, I just…. I hate it!”
“Stop,” he says softly, his heart breaking at your harsh words aimed at yourself
“I hate that I can’t control it and I hate that I do it! I just…”
“Stop…” he says again, tears welling in his eyes
“I just hate myself!” you shout, tears streaming down your face
“Stop!” he shouts, wrapping his arms around you tightly, “MC please, please don’t talk about yourself like that… I know you feel self conscious and I know you think stimming is bad, but…. it isn’t,” tears fall from his eyes, and he buries his face in your hair. “Hearing you talk about yourself like that… I don’t get it… How can you hate yourself? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you’re acting like you’re the scum of the earth, but you’re not… You’re the light of my life, MC! I don’t care if you flap your hands, or rock back and fourth, its you! And I love you… I just love you so much, I can’t imagine my life without you… So please… Give yourself a chance MC… It’s not bad, or weird, or stupid… And neither are you… So don’t talk about yourself like that. I care about you so much MC… And I want you to love yourself just as much as I love you.”